-The First Shot-
Hello everyone and welcome to your 38th edition of The Shoot. Now that I got the ?filler column? out of the way, it’s time to return to good ol? fashioned rant on something within the world of professional wrestling. This week’s rant is a doozy and it has some strong opinions in it fueled by me just seeing red at the whole situation. You?ve been forewarned.
No PPV this past Sunday, thank god. This way I don?t have to embarrass myself with another horrible predictions piece. God, Bragging Rights was just so horrible on my end. In case you missed it, skip back a week and see just how horrible I ended up doing. Have I used the word horrible enough to put emphasis on this? Well.. just in case I didn?t? my predictions were horrible!
Anyway? it’s time to take a look back at this week’s headlines? it’s time for Quick Shots.
There’s a new wrestling promotion debuting in the Northeastern United States. It’s called Evolution Pro Wrestling and it is being booked by Gabe Sapolsky and Davey Richards. Gabe Sapolsky, if you wrestling fans don?t know, was the former booker for Ring of Honor and the apprentice of Paul Heyman back in the original ECW. Gabe was released from ROH and became Vice President of Dragon Gate USA and now he has this new endeavor with Evolution Pro. One has to wonder if Gabe is targeting old and current ROH markets to try and compete with his former employer. This is what it sounds like to me, but then again, it could just be Gabe trying to keep himself busy. I don?t know, but if you saw ROH from 2002-2007, you?ll pretty much know what to expect out of Evolution Pro.
WWE Monday Night Raw is scheduled to get a new theme song on November 16th. All I have to say is Thank God because I just cannot stand the current Raw theme? then again, I was nursed on the old Raw is War theme song from the Attitude Era which I still think was the best opening Raw ever had, but despite all of that, the new theme is scheduled to be ?Burn it to the Ground? by Nickelback. I have mixed feelings on it? It’s an okay song by generic standards, but I am NOT a fan of Nickelback so that’s going to leave a sour taste in my mouth. Nickelback is one of the bands that is all about marketing. To quote a great man, some of these bands need a separate chart based on marketing? like McDonald’s would be up there with McNuggets, and Nickelback would be right up there with their clever marketing.. they shouldn?t be allowed on a music chart. 10 Points if you know who said that. Although I did alter it with some of my own words to fit my mini-rant.
The man who is the best in the world at what he does, kind of said some things that ticked off that said world lately. TMZ picked up the story and even GLAAD is upset over some of the comments made by one of my Shoot Spotlights: Chris Jericho (yes I just plugged myself in my own column). Jericho made some slurs against Middle Easterners and Homosexuals, but noted that after the show was over, everyone involved was laughing it up and shared some drinks which tells me one thing and one thing only?. It was an entertainment skit. I mean god forbid you make a few comments that everyone is in on for entertainment purposes without every goody two-shoes, land of rainbows, gummy bears, and sunflowers, radical jumping out of the woodwork because they know it’s the only publicity they?ll get because no one in their right mind actually would pay attention nor give two squirts of monkey piss (God bless The Rock) about their cause. I could write an entire non-wrestling column about the sensitivity issues with today’s society and why I think people have grown too soft and need a swift kick in the balls and or genital region to wake them up and toughen them up? but I?m trailing.. I have a column to write, but I assure you my rants will not be getting any better.
-The Big Shot: What the **** is TNA Thinking!?-
If only Windows would allow me to save files with asterisks in their names?.
Random thought out of the way?. I am sure each and every one of you reading this column saw the video that Dixie Carter posted on YouTube and on TNA iMPACT! Last week. When I saw that video, I was at a loss for words. That had to be one of the most unprofessional things I have ever witnessed from a wrestling promotion? even worse than WWE wrestlers taking on-air shots at suspended wrestlers for their personal demons.
Now? the reason why I find this completely out of line goes back to the time where I was employed at an office supply company called Office Depot. Now, I know I?m taking the column into a personal story direction, but it directly relates to the point I am trying to make.
When I worked at Office Depot, we were told continuously to sell add-ons. If you never worked in retail, what this means is that, say I sell you a computer? well retail stores charge near purchase prices for computers to the point where they only make like a ten dollar profit off of one sale? so they rely on us salesmen to sell you a printer, a cable, some ink, some paper, a monitor, and whatnot with your computer so they can increase the profit they make from your purchase. If we fail? we kind of get a speech similar to the one that Dixie Carter gave her roster of wrestlers back on Thursday night. We were told that we need to step it up, we were told that if we didn?t sell more that we weren?t doing our jobs and we weren?t welcome to work for the company, we were told that we need to deliver, deliver, deliver. Watching that TNA video reminded me of a Sunday morning meeting at Office Depot where the whole topic of the meeting is that we suck.
So from personal experience, you can understand my rant because this hit kind of close to home. I can sympathize with the TNA locker room after having to watch that abortion of a wrestling segment. What’s even worse is that this whole entire meeting took place because TNA was able to sign Hulk Hogan. They have to step it up to impress Hulk Hogan? The Immortal One. Do you actually think Hulk Hogan cares about the people on the TNA roster? Do you actually think Hulk Hogan is going to sit there, watch each and every match, and then say ?wow? you got it, kid?? If you think that’s what Hulk Hogan’s agenda is within TNA, then I urge you to take the crack pipe out of your mouth and go slam your head against a brick wall until you can?t feel feelings anymore.
Hulk Hogan is only in TNA for two reasons:
A) Suck money out of Panda Energy because Linda sucked him dry and now he’s hurting for cash and?
B) To use this as a power play to possibly leverage a deal to return to WWE at a Wrestlemania for another massive pay day.
Now for the latter? all I can say is good luck on that, Terry. Vince McMahon is sitting back on his piles of money laughing hysterically at your decision to go to TNA Wrestling. He’s enjoying the fact that you actually think that going to the ?competition? is going to give you power in a negotiation to return to the WWE. It’s not going to happen so now you?re stuck sucking money out of a bunch of Pandas.
So to all of those on the TNA roster? why oh why would you step it up for a man like Hulk Hogan? Why oh why would you in your right mind even care what some 60 year old washed up hack thinks about your performance? If anything? learning to stray away from set spots and learning how to make moves mean something and how to tell a story in the ring so that, one day, when TNA implodes on itself, the WWE will look at you and say ?hey..this kid ?gets it?? let’s grab him? is what you should be aiming for. I think that’s what I would be aiming for if I were in TNA. I?d take my paycheck, hone my craft, and when greener pastures came calling, I?d burn my bridge and get the hell out of Dodge. I certainly wouldn?t step it up because Hulk Hogan was coming to TNA.
Then there was the decision to AIR this atrocity on the airwaves. I?m sorry, but back to Office Depot? we NEVER held these meetings in front of the customers? and for good reason? if the customers actually saw and heard what management said to us? they?d probably never shop at our store ever again? on top of possibly writing letters to corporate or the better business bureau. So what do you think this will do to the average TNA viewer that, I assume, doesn?t know about this part of the business?
I mean.. if they want to go ahead and think this is a work? fine? let them, but I can assure you this is not. Dixie videotaped her meeting and decided that it would be a good idea to plaster it on television and the internet for the world to see. She thought that sitting down her roster like a bunch of a school children at the principal’s office and then laying into them about stepping it up, threatening their jobs, and trying to impress was a great a idea. Anyone with half a brain that later had a lobotomy performed on said remaining half can tell you that you KEEP THIS KIND OF BUSINESS BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. Airing your business like that publically shows that you have absolutely no professional business skills or ability and that you don?t deserve the position you are in within the company because it just reflects how f?n stupid you really are.
Okay.. I?m getting even more worked up, and at this point, I don?t care if there are a million and one columns out there about this? usually I do care and I try to stay away from column duplication, but this one just pissed me off beyond belief and I had to air some dirty laundry on a public forum because hey? that’s what the internet is for?. Well? that and porn? lots and lots of porn.
And now here’s something you?ll really like!
Ok? so I have a few music recommendations for you all this week.
First up is a band called Katatonia. Don?t worry all of you non-japanese speaking audiophiles? this is actually a band that speaks English. Their sounds have been compared to Tool, and out of the songs I?ve heard so far: July, Evidence, and My Twin, I can say that this band gets the Joshua Piedra seal of approval. YouTube them and check out their stuff? I assure you that you will not be disappointed.
Also, speaking of Tool? it was announced on Tool’s official site that drummer Danny Carey bought a new gong for his drum set and will be featuring it prominently on the upcoming Tool album. While that is the ONLY news confirming a new Tool album.. the news was enough to get me excited.
And of course, what would a Culture Shock segment be without a Japanese song? Last time I eluded to the fact that To Aru Kagaku no Railgun’s main theme ?Only my RAILGUN? would be coming out soon? it has? it’s awesome? go out and listen to it. I know that Naruto: Shippuden’s newest ending ?Omae Dattanda? drops on November 11th? you know I?ll be eating that one up the moment it does as well? so look forward to that.
I also have a video game to recommend to you. Now you?ll probably slap me for this, but it’s Final Fantasy IV for the Nintendo DS. I bought this remake when it first came out and when I did, I had also bought another game. Although I forget what the other game was, I know it distracted me from FF4. And so the cycle of new games and distractions happened and FF4 sat on my shelf, still in factory sealed shrink wrap begging to be played? until one day last week when I brought my grandmother to get her hair cut. I don?t like waiting in those girly salons so I took my DS with me and sat in the car. I looked on my shelf and was actually surprised that I owned Final Fantasy IV. I popped it in and I became hooked instantly. So if you never had the chance to play this game? I highly recommend it to you as it has been one of the better Final Fantasies I?ve played. Not THE best.. but it’s still pretty darn good.
Also for whatever reason.. I?ve had the urge to cue up some Billy Joel. I don?t know why? but I have the urge for the piano man.
Anyway.. those recommendations? if you even read them, much less embark on them? should hold you until next time!
-The Final Shot-
That’s going to do it for me this week. If you would like to submit anything as far as column feedback, wrestling discussion, culture shock topics, anything? you can do so by using any of the methods below.
Until next week?