Hello students of WrestleView. Once again, it is I your resident teacher Mr. V providing you a nice blend of wrestling, sports, and other things that I care about. Please have a seat at your computer desks??.now. Let’s cut to the chase immediately. In the real world, Mr. V has been awfully busy this week teaching, taking care of the family, and entertaining my beloved readers. I could not have it any other way.
First off, another teacher here on WrestleView just got a FULL TIME GIG. So to you Ryan Droste, I raise my coffee mug to you and say congratulations! It is great to know that a school got good taste in hiring teachers. If only Western Pennsylvania can see one of the best, but he is too busy writing a column for the world to see. Seriously Ryan, best of luck to you and I hope for many years of success.
Also, I want to say something to Good Ol? Jim Ross. I have been a fan of his for many years (and one of the best announcers today and yes, I am including Matt Striker). It looks like he got some good news, but still the recovery will be timely. To you Mr. Ross, my prayers are with you. Believe me, I know at least many on this website want you back and healthy as soon as possible.
Well, enough with the ?morning? announcements. If you even want to sing you national anthem before class, by all means do it.
Quote of the Week
Originally, I wanted to use this quote because I really liked the sarcasm when this announcer called it last Friday on Smackdown.
“Congratulations CM Punk. You just beat a referee.”
– Todd Grisham right after the Punk vs. Scott Armstrong match.
If it was Charles Robinson, then Punk would have no chance.
But I am going to go a different route. Now I told this ?real? student of mine that he will not be announced, but I must share it because it was the greatest line I ever heard a seventh grader say to me in my five years of teaching.
?When I was younger, I used to think about nothing. Now, I know absolutely nothing? – From one of Mr. V’s real time favorite students.
The kid is bright, and I know he is a class act. I totally broke out of the Mr. V ?kayfabe? when this student read his answer aloud. Hope you all got a kick out of it.
Most of you have read my column since #1. We all knew that one of my goals was to get 100 classroom rules for the wrestling fans and talents. Well, since last week I reached 100 I am going to finally take a break from this portion. I may provide a rule if needed. But last week, wrestling fans were on their best behavior. So kudos to all of you. Take a piece of candy and remember to continue to follow the ?classroom rules?. At the end of the year, I will post all of them at once for your entertainment.
I had actually ten headlines to discuss, but thanks to a randomizing website I decided to let my computer decide four headlines that I found on WrestleView.com. Remember, if it is not on WrestleView, then don?t read too much into it (per rule #100).
Headline #1: Hulk Hogans Lies, I mean Claims!
My Take: Look, I really have been enjoying TNA the past few months. TNA has been so good that they took over the #2 spot in my TV Wars (RAW took it back) and infusing this new talent and taking out some dead weight was a great thing. Then they throw in Hulk Hogan. Hogan wants to be the man in TNA controlling some of the things, but he is too busy to attend Impact tapings so he can sign a couple books.
Also, he rips on Vince McMahon and says that he helped Vince run the business. He wanted to kill himself. He was going to be the bassist for The Rolling Stones and Metallica. Heck, I would not be surprised if Oasis wanted him at this point (another joke, I am one that likes Oasis). If my students want to buy the book, I am not saying no to you. But buyer beware.
I am going to jump the gun here and ask Hogan a question (like he totally reads my columns anyway because I am not famous).
Why should everyday hard-working individuals pay money on a book written by a man who does not show up four days a month to do Impact Tapings? Why should we care about some of the things that you wrote in your book? Why should we pay money just so you can blow it all again and then cry about how you don?t have money. Hogan, you are a B.S. (PG rating) artist! I don?t buy one bit of information that comes out of your mouth anymore, Brother!
On that, I am officially done with Hogan. If he succeeds in TNA, then I will be happy for the company. But if Hogan keeps up with these comments and picking apart a man (Vince McMahon) that gave him his break in the WWF, then he is not a good person. Give credit where credit is due, Hogan. Give credit to the ones that made you the millions, not berate them.
Class, I am sorry for ranting like this. I had to get this off my chest. For every good wrestler out there, there is an equally bad one at times. Hogan is the latter.
Headline #2: Awesome Kong is tough outside the ring too!
I read earlier this week that after Bound for Glory, some idiot was ripping on Awesome Kong’s boyfriend. Well you would think the boyfriend would fight for his girl’s heart, right? Think again. Awesome Kong did more to that guy than Booker T did in his entire career in TNA. The dude got owned by Kong. For that, Awesome Kong gets my respect. As for that imbecile, he deserved it no question.
Headline #3: Stop the Presses! Wrestling News Live had to postpone a show!
Look, I was listening to Plugged In last night with JJ Sexay (a great show I may add) and Adam Martin came on for a few minutes to apologize to the fans for not having a show on Monday due to technical issues. Well, I read a couple comments and I was disappointed at the frustration by a few. Look, nobody is perfect. I include robots and technology to this equation also. Since I started listening to the show here on this site, it is the first time WNL was postponed.
Adam should not apologize to anyone in my opinion. I think something out of the ordinary happened on his front that he could not control. VIPers, relax. Besides, there was an awesome Friday Fishbowl that you could have listened to in its place anyway with the guest being none other than WrestleView’s resident teacher (shameless plug).
I think what these guys give you for five dollars is a bargain. You listen to one hour of their shows and your mind is full. Now take that five dollar bill and buy Five King-Sized Snickers Bars. I know Snickers satisfies, but you are never full from it. Think about it.
So to you guys who control the WrestleView Radio Network, I applaud you. Keep up the great work.
Headline #4: Torrie Wilson donates a top??for charity.
In a very classy gesture, former WWE Diva Torrie Wilson donated the top that she wore on the cover of the WrestleMania 20. The auction, which is on Ebay, ends on November 9th and the proceeds go to The Susan G. Komen For the Cure to fight breast cancer. This is a very noble cause for Ms. Wilson and if you have a extra hundred around, maybe one should place a bid. I give my props to Torrie on this one, as she is doing something for a good cause and I wish others would follow suit.
I don?t think there will be that many nominations for detentions, as the e-mail front did not request too many of them. As a matter of fact, six want me to put Michael Cole into detention. Your wish will be granted. If you have a choice, send it to me. My e-mail will be at the bottom of this column.
Detention are dubiously awarded to?
Guys on cell phones going crazy behind commentators – Crelly, if you do think I will fly to England personally and smack you. Oh yeah, and I caught some doofus doing this on RAW on 10/26.
Jerry Lawler – Your catcalls are just ridiculous. If you even call one move from a diva other than Kelly Kelly, then you are off the list. You can?t pick up a drunk girl with those lines.
Rey Mysterio – For wearing a chain wallet. I have no complaints normally on this, but it was a big chain wallet.
Hornswoggle – Yes, this little troublemaker is going to stay on there until someone gives him the business. (Was it cruel to scream in my TV for Shawn Michaels to superkick him while he was hanging up on a wall).
?The Awful Waffle? – Students, don?t be a victim of this.
Coca-Cola Company – Thanks to a talk with Josh Piedra, I am complaining once again for the lack of Ecto-Cooler.
Syracuse – For letting Michael Cole graduate.
The Snuggie – Can?t you tell I am running out of ideas? Just when you think these excuses for clothing can?t be more ridiculous, they now have the for DOGS!!!! Real men stick to the robes with a cup of whisk?.I mean RC Cola in their hands.
ETERNAL Detentions!!! Hoo-Ray!!!
ETS and The Praxis Series – You keep robbing us, I will keep you on the list.
Michael Cole – Until I hear you live on RAW say ?Vintage Eternal Detention?.
Kyle Busch and Joey Logano – It’s Kofi ?King’ston. No wonder some people make fun of a driver’s intelligence.
Lauren Mayhue – This ECW announcer sounds more and more like a rejected MTV Spring Break VJ. Let her go and put Rosa Mendes in that spot. It will save the WWE some money and put it into Linda McMahon’s campaign.
MISTER V?S WEEKLY HONOR ROLL FOR THE WEEK OF OCTOBER 26 – OCTOBER 30, 2009
Once again, I had a difficult time deciding who was going to be in the top three. However, I made my choice and I am sticking with these three as the best of the week.
Distinguished Honors – Christian vs. Yoshi Tatsu, ECW, October 27.
From start to finish, this was Yoshi Tatsu’s best match. I had nothing but good things to say about this contest. The start was great, as you can tell the mutual respect they had in this story. When Yoshi used his offense, he used it clean and accurate. Christian did the very same thing. The one thing that I caught during this match is how Christian actually communicated with Yoshi in the ring without saying a word (i.e. tapping his elbow after Yoshi does a headlock). That to me is a sign of true sportsmanship and someone that does not mind letting another individual make a name for himself. Who knows, maybe by the end of this year Christian could be my wrestler of the year and he did not even wrestle on the ?Big 2? brands.
Move of the Match: In the middle of the match, Yoshi nailed Christian with a perfect Tornado DDT.
High Honors – Kofi Kingston vs. Chris Jericho, Monday Night RAW, October 26.
A star is born in Kofi Kingston. Who knew that his best moment on this show happened after this match when he destroyed Orton’s stock car? With that, I give Chris Jericho a standing ovation. Jericho can put anyone over; he can make anyone a million bucks out there. With that said, it was a very entertaining contest. Kofi is doing better with other things in the ring, and the chemistry was good. Kofi is selling a lot more now than he used to, and that is important if he want to keep his momentum going. Jericho’s role in this story was excellent. Be a pompous punk, act the part, and get beat out of nowhere. Great showing by these two.
Move of the Match: The surprising Trouble in Paradise by Kofi to get the pin fall victory over the Unified Tag Team Champion.
Honors – Delirious vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Joey Ryan vs. Necro Butcher, ROH on HDNet, October 26.
This was pretty solid four corners match. Though I was not totally impressed with Joey Ryan, everyone else did a good job. Delirious was crisp in the ring and told a good story in the ring with Dutt. I won?t count Dutt out in this one as well, as he was probably the best worker in this match. He is working a great program with Delirious as of late, and the two that needed to get over in a way did. Necro Butcher was there mainly to take some sick bumps, and he did just that. He also generated some solid offense, and it was one of his better showings since being on HDNet.
Move of the Match: Sonjay Dutt powerbombing (sunset flip style) Necro onto the floor!
Honorable Mention goes out to: Albright vs. Brown on 10/26; King vs. Kingston on 10/26; Bourne vs. Miz on 10/26; HHH vs. Show on 10/26; Sheamus vs. Benjamin on 10/27; R-Truth/Shad/JTG vs. Knox/DH Smith/Tyson on 10/29; Tara vs. Flash on 10/29; Morgan vs. Rhino on 10/29; Angle vs. Wolfe on 10/29; Ziggler vs. Morrison on 10/30; and Jericho vs. Kane on 10/30.
Worst Match of the Week: CM Punk vs. Scott Armstrong, Friday Night Smackdown, October 30.
Why, oh why is this on the best show of 2009? Notice how Vince McMahon appears and then BOOM! The show gets bad. It did not work for Booker T in TNA and it will NOT work in the WWE.
I almost placed Team 3D vs. The Motor City Machineguns as the worst match (though I graded it a C-) because of the botched Ura-nage by Brother Ray. They have to be real careful in that ring! Someone is going to get seriously injured, and soon. When Nash called out all involved I respected that. Nash did the right thing, even though he is suspended WITH pay (because he would not have it any other way).
Dishonorable Mention goes to: Melina/Marella vs. Jillian/Chavo on 10/26; Sheamus vs. Noble on 10/26; Fox vs. Kelly on 10/29; Ryder vs. Reks on 10/29; Sky/Rayne/Von Erich vs. ODB/Hemme/Hamada on 10/29; Lashley vs. Young on 10/29; Abyss vs. Dr. Stevie on 10/29; Sabin/Shelley vs. Team 3D on 10/29; and Escobar vs. M. Hardy on 10/30.
Weekly TV Wars
ROH on HDNet (October 26)
Best Segment: Rasche Brown’s promo/vignette. The guys just looks intense.
Best Match: Sonjay Dutt vs. Delirious vs. Joey Ryan vs. Necro Butcher (Grade: B)
WWE Monday Night Raw (October 26)
Best Segment: Kofi Kingston destroying Orton’s NASCAR in what could be the segment of the year!
Best Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Chris Jericho (Grade: B)
ECW (October 27)
Best Segment: The Abraham Washington Show and the Regal going Incredible Hulk on us ending.
Best Match: Christian vs. Yoshi Tatsu (Grade: A-)
WWE Superstars (October 29)
Best Segment: Big Show’s Highlight Package because there was nothing there.
Best Match: R-Truth and Cryme Tyme vs. Mike Knox and Hart Dynasty (Grade: C+)
TNA Impact! (October 29)
Best Segment: Though it was a bit tacky, I am giving the nod to Desmond Wolfe’s opening segment.
Best Match: Tara vs. Alissa Flash (Grade: B-)
WWE Friday Night Smackdown (October 30)
Best Segment: The fallout of Rey Mysterio and Batista
Best Match: Chris Jericho vs. Kane (Grade: B)
Students? Choice: TNA Impact! (by a vote of 3-1)
Mr. V’s Runner-Up: Ring of Honor on HDNet
It was a good wrestling show from top to bottom. They had two good matches to start the show in the four corners match and D?Lo Brown vs. Brent Albright. The viewers were also treated to a good segment with Austin Aries and Kenny King. Also, they are debuting a new wrestler and had another hilarious backstage interview with Colt Cabana. I thought the show was done well, with a lot of hits with very few misses.
Mr. V’s Pick for Best Show: ECW
This to me was one of the best ECW shows in some time. The Abraham Washington Show was a big hit this week, mainly because of two things. The first being Tony Atlas and his infamous laughter. Secondly, the fact that Regal went postal on Abe’s furniture. The Rochester, NY crowd enjoyed two very good matches. The conclusion of Sheamus and Shelton came off for the most part well, but lacked a bit of chemistry. As for Sheamus, I think he will be a good fit on the Raw roster. It will take time though. Christian vs. Yoshi was one of the best matches this year on ECW. It is refreshing to see young talent work their way up the rankings and get a title shot. Tatsu deserved a title shot, but in a way I am glad he did not win the title yet. Give him time, he will succeed. Christian did everything in this match to make it work and then some. Like Jericho, Christian is not afraid to let the young guys have a shot at glory. All in all, this was the overall best show and it was tough to go against ECW.
Best Show: ECW (2 Points)
Runner-Up: ROH on HDNet (1 Point)
Students? Choice: TNA Impact (1 Point)
2009 TV Wars Standings:
1) Friday Night Smackdown (55 Points)
2) Monday Night Raw (39 Points)
3) TNA Impact (39 Points)
4) ECW (28 Points)
5) ROH on HDNet (12 Points)
6) WWE Superstars (1 Point)
Remember, this is your column as well. Please send me your choice for the best show by e-mailing me at email@example.com.
Commentator Report Card (Jim Ross is now ‘sponsoring? The Gold Stars now)
Commentator Grades are as follows from Oct. 26 – Oct. 30:
Michael Cole: D (2009 Grade: D) **Current Leader of The Dunce Cap**
Jerry Lawler: D+ (2009 Grade: C)
Josh Mathews: B- (2009 Grade: B) **Dean’s List**
Byron Saxton: B- (2009 Grade: B-) **Dean’s List**
Todd Grisham: B (2009 Grade: B+) **Dean’s List**
Matt Striker: B (2009 Grade: A-) **Dean’s List**
Jim Ross: N/A (2009 Grade: A-) **Dean’s List** (Illness)
Mike Tenay: B (2009 Grade: B-)
Taz: C+ (2009 Grade: B) **Dean’s List**
Don West: N/A (2009 Grade: C-) (Now Amazing Red’s Manager)
Mike Hogewood: B- (2009 Grade: C)
Dave Prazak: B (2009 Grade: B-)
MISTER V?S GOLD STAR SEGMENT (PRESENTED BY: JR’s Family Bar-B-Q of course! Good products! Good prices! Autographs! Free Shipping in the United States! Go get you some!)
Gold Stars are once again aplenty, so let’s see who gets one.
Jeremy Samples – Finally! I remembered! Thanks for your patience and keep up the great work in the Marshall Band.
Byron Saxton – For performing at a pretty high level your first week on the ECW announce team. It tells you that the WWE does have a knack to finding great commentary talent (most of the time).
Ricky Langston – For possibly sharing with me a delicious pork chop recipe. Let the feast begin!
Christian – STILL your ECW Champion!
Yoshi Tatsu – For a valiant effort.
Eve Torres and Rosa Mendes – I wish they can be ring announcers/diva wrestlers. That ECW announcer should not be on TV??at all!
Sheamus – I wish you good luck on the Raw brand.
Kofi Kingston – Just because he completely became a big name in the last couple of weeks.
The TV Show ?Human Wrecking Balls? – Al Bundy, Kermit the Frog, and these guys. They should be guest hosts for Raw. Hey, since they are ?PG? perhaps they can get Big Bird or The Count as well.
Beth Phoenix – A reader nominated her because she performed a great squash match with Jenny Brooks. Beth really showed her dominance and really cleaned up her work.
Batista – For turning heel and doing a great job with that momentum.
All of my readers – Thanks for letting me entertain you with my typing for forty weeks!
To all that completed the previous ?homework? assignment – You all have As for completing this. Now go ahead and print out that e-mail you sent me and put it on the refrigerator. It’s truly an honor!
Scott Steiner – For being able, probably on short notice, to find an artist to make a caricature of Krystal. She never looked better!
Chris Jericho – You continue to help the young guys. Some guys on the Raw brand can learn something from you.
Sesame Street – For entertaining children for 40 years!
Christopher Walken – Because he IS Christopher Walken!
Any suggestions for Gold Stars? Well, I am all ears (or fingers since I am typing this). Send it to firstname.lastname@example.org.
NEW HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT…
??WILL BE ASSIGNED NEXT WEEK!! I need help with this one, I am out of ideas. Please send me a suggestion and I will work on that.
NEW SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT
With the help from Josh Piedra for helping me organize this (and the other columnists that have presented their choices as to which wrestlers should be in this project), we are going to come up with a 2009 32-Man Dream Tournament.
Now so no one is confused, these are ?current? wrestlers. If the ‘students? participate by the dozens, then we will do an ?all-time? roster. We are going to start up the brackets in the next week or two. It is going to be fun and if you like tournament formats, join in on the fun!
On a side note, the Worst Wrestling Themes are being tallied right now. This week I have been teaching all week (for extra Christmas money, Santa has a budget too).
Well, that sums up another edition From the Desk of Mr. V. As always, if you want to chat wrestling you can always go on FaceBook and ask me your questions (I am on there at least once a day). You can also e-mail your comments to my address at email@example.com. I am getting much better in responding to the e-mails, so drop me a line.
It is the end, and you know what that means. Time to push in your chairs, walk in a straight line, and exit your classroom door (more than likely your computer room or dormitory room). Until My Ring of Honor Recap, I bid you farewell! Thanks for reading and you are all officially?????DISMISSED!!
Look me up on Facebook under Anthony J. Valvo in the Pittsburgh Network
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Later this week ?From the Desk of Mr. V??.
– ROH Recap for 11/2
– Mr. V #41
– The Final Tally for the Worst Themes of All Time
– More work on my other site The Examiner
Check out my recent Examiner articles! Heck, you can even subscribe to my articles! I did not even know that. Help me earn a little bit more by just going to the link, please: click here.
If not for the students, there would be no Mr. V. Thanks for Reading.