Aloha and welcome to another spellbinding edition of Baiamonte’s Casa. In the words of a P Diddy Twitter ?LET?S GO!!!?
So, with the latest series of the ?reality? TV phenomena that is Big Brother coming towards a nonsensical end yet again, I was wondering what lies in store for the future of the show and how it can possibly become any more surreal. I then realized that the fundamental concepts behind Big Brother strongly apply to the world of professional wrestling. Hence, a brainchild sprouted forth from my imagination. Why not combine the two entities?
Big Brother relies heavily on drama, big characters, twists and turns, shock value and eye candy. All of which feature heavily in the programming of wrestling promotions.
It should also be noted that the WWE has embraced the reality TV culture over the past few years. Ashley Massarro appeared on Survivor whilst ex Diva Torrie Wilson is packing her camo G strings for a trip to the jungle in the American version of I?m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. And let us not forget where Mike ?The Miz? Mizanin got his stupid hairstyle and eternally punchable face first noticed. That’s right, the idiot parade that is The Real World.
So, with this experience of reality TV, coupled with the disturbing success of Hogan Knows Best and the memories of Tough Enough, the WWE is well equipped to launch another reality based project on the world.
The premise is simple. Ten superstars are locked in a house for 10 weeks. Like Big Brother there is no television or radio or contact with the outside world whatsoever. During each week, the public vote for which wrestler they want to see gone. On the Thursday, the two superstars with the highest amount of votes are announced and they are then given a day to plan out a match, which will take place live on the Friday night, to determine who stays and who is evacuated back into the real world. The winner is decided via a secret task on the Thursday that only the shows producers are privy to, so to protect the element of surprise for the viewing public.
There will also be infrequent matches to determine who is granted immunity from eviction for a certain week and also matches where the winner can decide who he wants to wrestle in a match on the Friday show and what the match type should be. Creative eh? I?m a creative fucking genius.
There will also be times when a new housemate/worker interferes in a match upon their house debut to cost the losing superstar the match whilst signaling his intent to the viewing world.
The prize at the end of the show would be a shot at a World Title for the winner at Summerslam. Then the remaining contestants are put to a vote for likeability, with the lowest scoring votee being FIIIIIIIIRED (had to channel some vintage Vinnie Mac then). The final battle between the remaining two housemates will be hyped for a week beforehand and will also take place in the old school confines of a feud ending steel cage match.
So whilst this idea may seem to be an expensive, pointless exercise, it could seriously develop younger stars who will HAVE to be at their most mercurial in order to gain favour with the voting public so they can earn a place in the house for another week. Also, they will not be subject to the confines of a select few minutes here and there to make the most of their exposure like they are on WWE TV, but instead each one of them will be the focal point of an hour long, nightly show. The regularity of the show and it’s personal nature will also allow viewers and fans alike to feel connected with these superstars, so come Summerslam, they will be fully behind the Big Brother victor in his quest for World Championship gold.
Out there? Maybe. Risky? Most definitely. Worth the punt? Absolutely. This isn?t just some unemployment induced daydream my warped mind conjured up in the wee hours. It’s an idea I think could develop stars in a way we?ve never seen before and could prove to be the most innovative investment in modern wrestling. But then again, I would say that, what with WWE Big Brother being my idea and everything.
So what are the opinions of the people that really matter? You fuckers! You think I?ve gone too far off at the deep end? Too left field? Am I making about as much sense as a Vince Russo booked show? Or am I in fact a bona fide genius? I?m hoping you?ll choose the latter. Let me know at email@example.com. Or Twitter the shit out of me. My username is @JoeBaia.
Until next time dear visitors of the Casa, arriverderci.