-The First Shot-
Another week has come and gone and another Pay-Per-View is in the books. WWE’s Extreme Rules proved to be an easily predictable PPV which turned out to be not so predictable in the end. I have my picks results, thoughts, and whatnot in the One Extra Round section later on. Be that as it may, as I sit here and scrounge through applications for internships all while praying and hoping Electronic Arts gives me a call, I also ponder things about wrestling and this week, I want to ponder something that has been bothering me for quite a while. More on that later? first, your weekly dose of Quick Shots has returned!
Mr. Kennedy was released by the WWE. Many said that Kennedy was injured during his return match to Monday Night Raw and that was the final straw that broke the camel’s back, but in reality, it seems like Mr. Kennedy did not hurt his wrist and he was the fall guy for some backstage politics. You know? that’s one thing I hate about any job. Be it wrestling, retail, a large corporation, anything! It really pisses me off that some people are so insecure about their jobs that they would try and throw dirt on people so that they fall out of the good grace of management or, in Mr. Kennedy’s case, get terminated. It’s one thing if you don?t like the guy, but it really speaks about what kind of human being you are if you are willing to go as far is to talk crap to your employer to ruin a man’s chance at a career. Now Mr. Kennedy wasn?t the greatest worker, but the fans connected with him, they loved him, and in wrestling, that’s all that seems to matter. The fact that a few disgruntled non-supporters of Kennedy got in the ear of Vince McMahon to lead to him being future endeavored just reminds me of how asinine some people are on this planet.
So it seems that Batista tore his bicep right before the Pay-Per-View, still wrestled, and the WWE still decided to put the strap (sorry Vince)? the championship around his waist. Correct me if I?m wrong, but I thought you were to take titles off of injured wrestlers so they could heal? not put them on ones that just got injured and could possibly be out for three months! I might be getting ahead of myself here because some choice words I want to save for my PPV Pick Thoughts, but I?m disgusted by this move as well. To be continued?
CM Punk had an interview and in that interview he stated what the CM means in CM Punk. Phil Brooks said that it stood for Chicago Made? and if you believe that, I feel sorry for you. I know what you?re going to say: ?but Josh? CM Punk said it! It came straight from his mouth! How could you disagree with concrete proof?? I can because back in 2004, CM Punk had a few interviews and in each interview he said CM stood for something else. It ranged from Chick Magnet (harkening back to his days as a tag team known as the Chick Magnets), to Championship Material. Punk has said a number of things as to what CM stands for until he said one thing in a particular interview. He stated that CM has no real meaning and it’s whatever the fans want it to be. So I?m not jumping on the Chicago Made truck just yet. Now and forever more, I think Mr. Punk will answer that question differently each time to keep a certain mystique about it.
-The Big Shot: Labeling Holds as Indy Moves-
So we now arrive at the meat and potatoes for this week’s column. I?ve heard a lot of things that just annoy me about professional wrestling, and labeling a move as an indy move is just one of the things that just eats away at me until I have to write about it in a public forum such as this!
I know we are all accustomed to the ?WWE Standard? where most of the matches are punch, kick, punch, kick, trademark here, trademark there, rest hold, punch, kick, trademark, rest hold, finish, or any combination of the aforementioned formula, but is it a standard so much as to if a move looks out of place and unorthodox? the if a move is spinny, flippy, or twirly, that it is considered an ?indy move?? First off, how do you even define what an indy move is?
I?m guessing an indy moved is defined as a wrestling hold that is used on the independent wrestling circuit. Simple enough definition, but isn?t that taking a step into the realm of stereotypes? That’s like going to a mom and pop’s grill and ordering a hamburger. I take it that since it’s not from McDonald’s or Burger King, that the hamburger should be called an indy burger? No.. it’s a damn hamburger. So why is a wrestling move different? To me a wrestling move is a wrestling move. I don?t care if it’s performed in front of 20 people or 20,000 people? it’s still a wrestling move and any wrestling move can carry with it a purpose.
What I mean by that is that there are some people out there who believe wrestling is all about entertainment. That things such as moves, holds, and psychology shouldn?t play a part in there. As long as a guy has a character, the ability to talk and make us believe that character, and has a certain look, then he should be a major star in the wrestling business. You know what? That’s fine. There are many people who don?t know a wrist lock from a wrist watch that made it huge. Hulk Hogan is the prime example of that. Hogan himself admitted to not knowing how to wrestle and look at him. You can?t think of professional wrestling and not associate it to Hulk Hogan. He became a household name and made more people aware about wrestling than any other wrestler in the history of the business, and the guy couldn?t put on a 3 star match even if he tried.
Like I said? that’s fine? if you are entertained by that sort of thing. You see, I can be, but I?m also entertained with the physical aspect of the business and I am not alone. I have said it before in past columns that I am a fan of the wrestling business overall. That includes the entertainment, the characters, the match psychology, and yes? the moves. To me, I don?t dissect wrestling or put wrestling down if it doesn?t fit the WWE formula. I could sit and watch Santina Marella all day long and have a great time? and I could watch a Dragon Gate 6 man all day long and be just as entertained. I want to see the entertainment? I want to see the moves. I appreciate a 5 star match just as much as watching Goldust run around with Hornswoggle.
Because of my love for wrestling in that aspect, it really annoys me when people break wrestling down and try to stereotype certain realms of it. Labeling a wrestling move as an indy move just baffles me. A lot of people say Edge uses a lot of indy moves? I say that Edge uses a lot of wrestling moves. Some people say that ROH wrestlers suck because all they do is use moves to pop a crowd? I say that ROH caters to the fans who are entertained by wrestling moves and hard hitting matches, and that’s why the crowds pop. Some people say that the Japanese Juniors have nothing but spotfests that accomplish nothing. I say that the Japanese Juniors provide an energetic feel that gives a true adrenaline rush that makes you feel excited and incites your emotions.
You see the difference I?m getting at here? The wrestling business is a diverse business filled with diverse fans. When people can?t see that and want to dissect it and put certain parts of it down just because it doesn?t fit their holy grail vision of what professional wrestling is, it just irks the ever living hell out of me because it really shows how close-minded some people out there really are. I?ve have messages on Facebook, E-Mails, and even AIM conversations with people who told me the same things. ?You?ll never see that move in the WWE because it’s an indy move?, or ?That guy uses too much indy moves?, or my personally favorite from an AIM conversation, ?Indy moves belong in the indys and not in the WWE.?
To that I say this. Then to please you, let’s take away all the moves. No more suplexes, no more punches, no more knife edge chops, no more atomic drops, or rock bottoms, or pedigrees, or stone cold stunners. In fact, let’s turn the ring into a stage and instead of wrestling, let’s just have verbal arguments, sex scandals, comedy sketches, and more talk shows like Piper’s Pit, The Cutting Edge, The Highlight Reel, etc etc and see how long you feel you?ll be entertained. When you start missing the wrestling moves, give me a call.
-One Extra Round: PPV Picks-
Ok.. with that off my chest, here’s the PPV Picks from Extreme Rules as promised.
John Cena vs. Big Show
WINNER: John Cena
PICK: John Cena
Thoughts: Why go against the WWE Poster Child? I mean, seriously?
SAMOAN STRAP MATCH
CM Punk vs. Umaga
WINNER: CM Punk
Thoughts: I thought that CM Punk would continued to be buried on PPV with his recent losses to Kane and Umaga on the last two events, but lo and behold, WWE actually gave Punk the rub? and with good reason, they made him cheap shot his Money in the Bank like they have been doing, and put the strap (sorry Vince, again) the championship around his waist.
ADDITION: Holy hell? I just went to the Wrestleview site and saw that Umaga got released right in the middle of typing this column. I guess that explains the loss here better than what I just typed! Interactive columns? wave to the future?. Or not! ONWARD!
MISS WRESTLEMANIA (HOGPEN MATCH)
Vickie Guerrero (c?) vs. Santina Marella
WINNER: Santina Marella
PICK: Santina Marella
Thoughts: This one was quite obvious. The Santina/Santino character is extremely (no pun intended) over with the fans and giving the crown back to Santina is the only direction I could have seen them going with this whole thing.
UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP (FATAL 4-WAY)
Kofi Kingston (c) vs. MVP vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy
WINNER: Kofi Kingston
PICK: Kofi Kingston
Thoughts: They just placed the title on Kofi and he needs it in order to continue his upward trend with his popularity. It really doesn?t make much sense that they would take if off of him so soon.
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP (NO HOLDS BARRED)
Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Chris Jericho
WINNER: Chris Jericho
PICK: Chris Jericho
Thoughts: I predicted that Jericho was going to take the title at Judgment Day, but they kept it on Misterio. This time, they finally gave the belt to Jericho. I?m a huge Rey Misterio fan, but Jericho just made much better sense as IC Champion. He needed to be rewarded for all the work he did with the legends.
ECW CHAMPIONSHIP (HARDCORE AND THREE WAY DANCE)
Christian (c) vs. Jack Swagger vs. Tommy Dreamer
WINNER: Tommy Dreamer
PICK: Tommy Dreamer
Thoughts: I had a gut feeling this would happen and it really surprised me that it did. It seemed like the predictable match, but in the back of your mind going with your gut instinct didn?t seem to pleasing. You just knew they would swerve you and have Christian win or Swagger would repeat as ECW Champion, but here, they went with the actual predictableness (new word, I coined it!) and put the belt on Dreamer. I might have to watch ECW on Tuesday for once.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP (LADDER MATCH)
Edge (c) vs. Jeff Hardy
WINNER: Jeff Hardy then CM Punk
Thoughts: Poor little Copeland. I thought that this would have been the defining moment that crushed the curse and made Edge go longer than 3 months as world champion, but it just proved that Edge is nothing more, always has, and always will be a transitional champion and that’s all he will be remembered for unless 10 is the magic number from him, but if they haven?t done it the last nine runs, I don?t think number 10 will be it either.
WWE CHAMPIONSHIP (STEEL CAGE)
Randy Orton (c) vs. Batista
PICK: Randy Orton
Thoughts: Holy batshit batman. Where do I even begin here? Randy Orton has cut his teeth in that angle with Triple H leading up to Wrestlemania. At Backlash, Randy Orton finally got his reward for his awesome performance and became the WWE Champion. I thought that this was going to be a sign of a very long Randy Orton championship reign, and then Dave Batista returns, gets injured, and wins the championship, further killing off any remaining heat left over from Orton’s Wrestlemania loss. Where do they go with Orton from here without making it sound redundant and stale? I?m sure whatever they put in front of him, script-wise, will shine like gold with Orton behind the mic, but come on? seriously? Batista?
So 5-3.. that puts my standing at 25-22 overall. I?m creeping ahead, but I thought I was going to do just a little be better. Oh well? I?ll have to heat it up next PPV.
-Return Fire: Question of the Week-
This week’s question is a two-parter.
#1: Do you think that wrestling moves should be split into categories such as main stream or indy?
#2: This one is stemmed from Wrestling News Live on Sunday Night. Who would win in a real life fight? CM Punk or The Undertaker?
-Friendly Fire: Reader E-Mail-
Again with Suzanne’s Shot!
I completely agree with you that I do not want to see Ric Flair come back either but I am not surprised that he wants to come back either. This is the second time he has retired from the ring. From the comments he has been making it sounds like this was more of WWE’s idea then it was Ric’s so when he left the WWE Universe and traveled the Country I am not surprised one bit that he got the blood flowing again especially training and then managing his son. Now he doesn’t even have that managing as a outlet any more with Reid’s drug and legal problems. I think that Ric would have stayed retired if WWE would have handled the storyline that led up to the great ending a hell of a lot better. By bringing in people from ouside of WWE to take Ric Flair on before he retired. The Jericho vs Legends storyline especially watching Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat wrestle couldn’t have helped much either. Maybe someone should send Ric tapes of TNA to see the Main Event Mafia and Mick Foley wrestle and he might change his mind.
-The Final Shot-
That’s it for me this week. Don?t be afraid to talk to me? I don?t bite in the areas that hurt! If you would like to discuss the question of the week, wrestling in general, life in general, send all thoughts, good and bad, along with money and hot women to firstname.lastname@example.org.