WWE Saturday Morning Slam
September 15, 2012
Report by: Rocky Jimenez of Wrestleview.com

Rub the dust out your eyes, get on your favorite slippers, grab your Pop Tarts out of the toaster, and plant your seat in front of The Vortex on CW, because it’s time for another edition of WWE SatMor SLAM!

So, I have gotten a lot of feedback since last week about my recaps, and I must say this is pretty cool. I am having fun with this thing, and all the support has been really great!
So, let’s not waste any time, as we have a plane to catch! Why is that, you may be asking? Because this week, we are taking a world tour, and visiting the home countries of some of your favorite WWE Superstars! Plus, in tag team action, Kofi Kingston & R-Truth will face off against Primo & Epico a little later on. But we kick things off with the Spotlight, which features South Africa’s own Justin Gabriel!

SATURDAY MORNING SPOTLIGHT – “The Cape Town Werewolf” Justin Gabriel

We get a lot of action shots from Justin, including planchas and what not. He is fast growing in WWE, including with the kids. We also get shots of his impressive 450 Splash! It’s all action from “The Cape Town Werewolf”!

We are then graced by getting to hang with Justin Gabriel, as we make the 8000 mile trip to South Africa where WWE recently held their World Tour. We see our boy taunting on top of a mountain, and then hanging out in one of the local shops, toying around with some tusks. This is apparently Justin’s first trip home since becoming a WWE star 3 years ago, and it is a big thing to him. He is then hanging around, snapping pictures with fans, and just having a grand ol’ time, especially when he comes across a mask shop, and mentions he want a room of his own just like that. They show newspaper clippings from Africa that promotes his return home. He mentions that, while it is the size of maybe half of Texas, his home is like a mix of Miami and Colorado, with beautiful mountains and great city life. He mentions he grew up into wrestling, and that his father was a wrestler and promoter. He says at age 18, his life crumbled down when his dad passed away, but he knew he was going to follow in his footsteps. He mentions a story where he states his mom had once told him it would be impossible for him to become a WWE Superstar, but when he brings it up when he returns, she apparently flips it by saying she told him told him that to drive him.

After the Spotlight, Scott Stamford decides to remind us that the first W in WWE stands for World. It brings us to a special segment where we track down WWE Superstars and Legends from across the globe! (This segment has stars that I don’t know or remember, so for those few, I will put ???)

AROUND THE WORLD IN 40 SUPERSTARS

SOUTH AFRICA – Justin Gabriel
GHANA – Kofi Kingston
UGANDA – Kamala
INDIA – Great Khali
JAPAN – Yoshi Tatsu
AUSTRALIA – ???
NEW ZEALAND – The Bshwhackers
FIJI – Jimmy Snuka
TONGA – ???
SAMOA – Rikishi
ARGENTINA – Giant Gonzalez
BRAZIL – ???
GUYANA – Ezekiel Jackson
PUERTO RICO – ???
MEXICO – Alberto Del Rio
USA – Lex Luger, Sgt. Slaughter, Randy Savage, Hulk Hogan, John Cena, Jim Duggan
CANADA – Bret Hart, Chris Jericho, Christian, Natalya, Tyson Kidd, Edge
EGLAND – William Regal
WALES – Bati… er, I mean, Mason Ryan
SCOTTLAND – Drew McIntyre
IRELAND – Sheamus
FRANCE – Andre The Giant
GERMANY – Das Wunderkid!!! … Sorry, WCW flashback. I meant to say Alex Wright
SWITZERLAND – Antonio Cesaro
ITALY – Santino
GREECE – ???
MALTA – ???
FINLAND – ??? (It looked like Finlay, but the face wasn’t right)
POLAND – Ivan Putski
LITHUANIA – Aksana
UKRAINE – HAIL KOZLOV~!!!
RUSSIA-RAN – Nikolai Volkoff & Iron Shiek
PARTS UNKNOWN – Ultimate Warrior, Papa Shango, Demolition, Doink, The Boogeyman

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

We get this week’s match kicking off with the Boom Boom as Josh Mathews and Santino are here for commentary this week!

NON-TITLE MATCH – Kofi Kingston & R-Truth VS Epico & Primo

Kofi and Primo to kick this match off. Nice set of arm drags from Kofi Kingston. Epico whips him off the ropes, but Kofi able to reverse it into a running monkey flip. Kofi tags in Truth, and they hit the back body drop on Primo. Truth with the pin but only gets a two count. Epico gets the tag, but gets an arm drag for his effort. It looks like R-Truth is going to hit something on Epico, but he stops him, and both R-Truth and Kofi begin to dance. He begins to talk to Little Jimmy, and Epico is excited, and calls for Primo to get into the ring, which, in turn, causes Kofi to jump in as well. Epico and Primo are looking to talk to Little Jimmy and be his friend. They tell the ref to ask Little Jimmy if he will be there friend. The referee says that Little Jimmy says no, which causes Epico and Primo to push the tag champs into the corner. They go to whip Kofi and Truth into each, which they are able to turn around into a pair of cross bodies. As Epico and Primo roll out of the ring, the tag champs begin to dance in the middle of the ring and taunt their brilliance!

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

Before we go back to action, Sheamus grants us with a “Don’t Try This” spot.

Back in the ring, and R-Truth is still having fun exploiting the careless Epico, as he goes up-and-over from being whipped into the corner, does his little back spring, and the splits to top it all off! Epico charges him, but hip toss from Truth. Then Epico finally gets the upper hand with the abdominal stretch, but Truth fights out. He goes to tag Kofi, but gets a bear hug from Epico instead. To get out of the move, R-Truth goes for the ever popular Double Wet Willy and tags in Kofi. Big dropkick, and a huge face slam. Kofi hits the Boom Drop, but misses the Trouble In Paradise. Instead he is able to hit another slam to the mat. He goes for the pin, but Primo comes in to break up the pin. R-Truth starts to attack Primo and get him outside, while Epico goes for a body splash in the corner, but Kofi moves and hits the cross body for the win!

WINNERS: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

As we come back, we are shown footage of the recent World Tour of the Far East! We get to see the reaction and moonspeak from the fans, as well as some diehard WWE fans. We had three guys dress up as Ryback, Damien Sandow, and The Rock!

Next week, we go from international to intercontinental, as we are going to look at the legacy of the WWE Intercontinental Championship, and we get to spend some time with the Most See WWE Champion and reigning IC Champion, The Miz!

Before we go, Antonio Cesaro is fluent in five different languages! For that reason, he wants to teach us how to say “Welcome Back to School” in English, Swiss, French, Italian, and German. I won’t write these out, as there are too many squiggllies and random dots that I can’t seem to find on my keyboard.


Thoughts

This show was still fun, but, and I hate to say it, this episode just didn’t seem as fun from the past three weeks.

While I had no problem with Justin Gabriel, and I thought his story was actually kinda cool, it was that new segment thing that just got to me. I am a wrestling fan and all, but we didn’t need to visit every nook and cranny of the Earth to see every Superstar and Legend. While I’ll admit getting to see Alex Wright and Kozlov were pretty sweet, did we really need to see every Superstar to come out with an American or Canadian flag? Heck, some of these countries I will never hear of again until one of the out of town guys comes in to work a Top of Texas show under a mask and chooses some random place. Though, I am surprised they included Parts Unknown, as I think everyone has been from there at one point or another.

This match was really fun to watch. I am not a big Kofi fan, but I will admit he works when you need someone to work a kid friendly match! The Little Jimmy spot was hilarious to watch, and I can’t wait to see more. Plus, having Santino back on commentary was nice, because Regal doesn’t fit the whole family atmosphere. Don’t get me wrong, Regal was awesome last week, but Santino just has a way with this show.

WWE production team, we need to have a chat. It seems like you guys are trying to censor very basic stuff. You had blurred out a shirt. You kept cutting away from the action to show the commentary team. YOU BLURRED OUT R-TRUTH’S GLOVE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! I know this is a kids show, but it won’t hurt to show a drop kick, or some random logo on the show. Cut down all the censoring of just random stuff!

Well, with that being said, I need to check on how my fantasy football team is doing so far this week. The Las Pegasus VinylShy are the underdogs this week by 4 points, so I hope I’m ok! Until next week, check ya later everypony!

Remember, you can always like me on Facebook @ Facebook.com/AMARealStar and can come hang with me every Saturday night at Top Of Texas Wrestling. Check out Facebook.com/TOTFans to find out more about The Kings of Saturday Nights and Birthplace of Immortals!