Rub the dust out your eyes, get on your favorite slippers, grab some of them Pilsbury Cinnamon Rolls, and plant your seat in front of The Vortex on CW, because it’s time for another edition of WWE SatMor SLAM!
Let’s not waste any time. So, the show starts without the regular WWE intro. Instead, it goes to the theme and logo on the screen. Ok, so we know that this is the health show, maybe they are cramming a lot into the show. So let’s go to the Spot…
Nope, we’re heading straight to the arena, as Santino makes his way down to the ring. So it looks like we are kicking off this week with action. Different, but, with Miz on commentary, I guess we can do this thing! It’s the Master of the Cobra facing off against The One Man Rock Band!
Santino Marella vs. Heath Slater
The bell rings, and Santino starts showing off his Marella Martial Arts, and then goes after Heath with the Cobra. Heath begins to push Santino, but Santino comes back with the Cobra ready to strike, which causes Heath to back into a corner. Headlock by Santino, but Heath looks to counter it by tossing Santino off the ropes, but the two collide in a shoulder to shoulder bump. Heath begins to play his air guitar, which the crowd boos. Instead, the former US Champ goes for the air trombone, which is just eaten up. Headlock now by Slater, which Santino throws him off the ropes, and again the two hit shoulders. This time, Santino plays the air guitar, and the crowd pops loud. Heath goes for the air trombone, and the crowd is not pleased. This begins a battle of air instruments. Santino pulls out a flute, Heath plays the drums. Santino with the piano, and Heath whips out a harmonica. Santino plays a perfect violin, and Heath does some silly knee symbols thing. Santino wraps it up by playing a giant cello, which Slater is upset about, and ends up running into an arm drag. Slater rolls out of the ring, goes to argue with Miz about who won the air instrument battle.
Before we go back to action, The Miz grants us with a “Don’t Try This” spot.
Back in the ring, and Santino whips Heath into the ropes and goes for a dropkick, but Slater is able to hang onto the ropes and save himself, which he taunts proudly. Slater drops a knee on Santino’s head, and goes for a leg vice, which Santino reverses into a pin, but only gets a 2 count. Back on their feet, Heath tosses Santino into the corner and hits a tackle as Santino turns around.Slater repeats this in the opposite corner, and goes for a pin, only getting two. Slater applies a grip around Santino’s abdomen, but Santino is able to toss him over his shoulder. He goes after Slater in the corner, but Slater moves out of the way, causing more injury to Santino’s abs. Another leg vice by Slater, which he uses to try and pin Santino, but Santino is able to get around and tickle his way out of the move. They get up, and Slater pushes Santino into one corner, and then strongly whips him across into the opposite corner. Slater goes back into the leg vice, but Santino seems to fire up, and hits his signature spilt hip toss into the headbutt. Santinoo gets the Cobra ready, but misses Slater about four or five times. Slater fihts off the Cobra, and goes for a kick, but the Cobra strikes Heath in the leg, and this causes Slater to limp around, and Santino rolls him up for the win!
Winner: Santino Marello
Scott Stamford welcomes us back to Slam, and we still have a lot to go ver, as this episode is all about Family Health and Fitness Day! Today we look at the pretty boys of WWE, as well as superstars from other sports who came into the ring. But we start with the last hope for the Rhodes family, Cody Rhodes!
SATURDAY MORNING SPOTLIGHT – Cody Rhodes
The same as last week, we get shots of Cody taunting in ring, on the ramp, and this creepy laugh he does. They do give hime some moments to shine, as they show him setting up moonsaults and dropkicks, but they never connect or finish. We mainly see his smiling face… and that laugh…
After the short spotlight, Cody welcomes us to the Fave Five, where it’s all about the vanity stars of WWE.
FAVE FIVE – Vanity Superstars
1. “The Narcissist” Lex Luger
2. Rick “The Model” Martel
3. “Ravishing” Rick Rude
4. “HBK” Shawn Michaels
5. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes
Looking good isn’t the only thing about being a superstar, it is also about that athleticism. That’s why this week, we go The 3rd Degree to ask the Superstars what their favorite sport was growing up!
The 3rd Degree – Favorite Sport Growing Up
John Cena – Football
Daniel Bryan – Jack of all trades, on every team in school
Kofi Kingston – Football
Beth Phoenix – Tennis
Kaitlyn – Soccer
Dolph Ziggler – Wrestling
Pop Quiz time, and The Glamazon, who looks very nice in her suit attire, is here to try and stump us in wrestling knowledge. Bring it on, you aint got nothing we can’t handle!
POP QUIZ – Which WWE Superstar won the very first WWE Iron Man Match?
A. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin
B. Shown Michaels
C. Bret “The Hitman” Hart
We come back, and it’s time to crack open The Video Vault and look at some of the most unique athletic idols in WWE history. We kick it off with Simon Dean promoting his patented Simon System. Next up, The Goon shows us why he was kicked out of every hockey league he joined. Abe “Knuckleball” Shwartz tries to give The Baseball Furies a bad name, but strikes out. But if you’re gonna do a list on athletic superstars, then you have to mention the man who excelled in every challenge ever thrown at him, and that man is WWE Hall Of Famer “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig!
If you didn’t choose HBK as the winner of the first WWE Iron Man Match, I will come over and slap you with a big bowl of broccoli… cause it’s a health food, and, I… you know what, never mind. Shawn Michaels is your correct answer to the Pop Quiz.
Before we leave, John Cena has some helpful tips on how to stay healthy, and when you look like John Cena, something is going right, so let’s listen in.
John Cena’s Health Tips
1. Start every day with a healthy breakfast!
2. Be Active!
3. Get a good night’s rest!
Well thank you, Mr. Super Cena! Next week, we get to meet the man behind Marella Martial Arts, Santino Marella, and his buddy, the Cobra!
I was worried I only got part of the show when it kicked off. I’m not sure about everybody else, but it really threw me off this week. I will admit that the show was still fun, no matter what order it was in, I just wasn’t ready for the match after the past month.
I saw this match was recorded, and I figured Santino and Heath would work great together. I was not shocked when this match went so well. These matches have been so fun to watch, even if they get comedic in just random parts of the match, but that’s the hook for these matches. I can’t wait to see what we get next week.
Again, a very short, and a very weak, Spotlight segment this week. If the WWE is going to go all out for fan favorites, but just kinda go over the bad guys, then why highlight these guys? They didn’t even come back to him like last week with Miz. And that laugh… That thing is gonna haunt me while I announce tonight, I just know it.
Looking back, the Fave Five and 3rd Degree weren’t really all that suprising, but I will say, seeing Rick Rude again was awesome. And the “Dashing” gimmick was always my favorite gimmick Cody ever had.
It was the Video Vault that really got me. Those gimmicks sucked, and I’m sure WWE knew it way back when. I laughed my butt off on seeing them. Then, you wrap it up in style with Mr. Perfect, and all is right in the WWE Universe. Very great segment!
Now, I have some stuff to do. Gotta make sure my Rainbow Dash Sunglasses are ready for the trip to The WrestlePlex tonight! Until next week everypony!
Remember, you can always like me on Facebook @ Facebook.com/AMARealStar, and can come hang with me every Saturday night at NWA Top Of Texas Wrestling. Check out Facebook.com/TOTFans to find out more about The Kings of Saturday Nights and Birthplace of Immortals!