Rub the dust out your eyes, get on your favorite slippers, pour yourself a bowl of Frankenberry, and plant your seat in front of The Vortex on CW, because it’s time for another edition of WWE Saturday Morning SLAM!
Scott Stamford welcomes us to the show, and mentions that this week’s main event will feature WWE Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan facing off against Tyson Kidd. But, we kick things off with The Woo Woo Woo Kid facing The Cape Town Werewolf!
Zack Ryder VS Justin Gabriel
Before they go to work, the two men shake hands in the middle of the ring. They lock up, and Gabriel hits an arm drag. He playfully taunts Ryder, howling with the crowd. They lock up again, and this time Ryder hits an arm drag, and then begins to fist pump and Woo with the crowd. The two guys are obviously having fun. They got to lock up again, but Gabriel gets Ryder into a sort of wrist lock, however Ryder is able to reverse it into an arm wrench of his own. Gabriel goes to reverse it and toss him away, but Ryder is able to keep hold of the lock and gets Gabriel grounded. Gabriel is able to get up, and starts lifting his leg to get out of the hold and reverse it on Ryder. Ryder is able to counter it into a roll up, but Justin glides out of it as both men stand on opposite sides of the ring. It looks as though Gabriel is going for a headlock. But Ryder is able to reverse it into another arm wrench. Gabriel literally flips out of the hold, tosses Ryder away, and, as Ryder goes after him, Gabriel hits him with an armdrag and locks in an arm lock. Ryder is able to get up, and whips Gabriel off the ropes. He goes for a clothes line, but Gabriel ducks under and slings off the other ropes, and both men collide in a double cross body.
Before we go back to action, Justin Gabriel grants us with a “Don’t Try This” spot.
We return to action, and they are going over the flip as Zack Ryder has control of the match and Gabriel in an arm lock. They get up, and Gabriel floors Ryder and locks in a wrist lock. Ryder is back up, though, and goes to whip Gabriel off the ropes again, but eats a shoulder tackle in turn. The two take turns leapfrogging and trying to trip the other up, but, as Ryder tries to go for a hip toss, Gabriel reverses it into a monkey flip. Ryder gets up, and eats a faceful of canvas as Gabriel hit a drop toe hold. Ryder once again gets up, but Gabriel floats over him into a pin, only getting a two count. Ryder gets up, and Gabriel goes for a clothesline, but Ryder is able to duck it and hit a sunset flip roll up, but only gets two. Then both men get up, and both guys hit each other with a simultaneous dropkick. They slap hands in the middle of the ring, showing the respect each man has for the other. They go to lock back up, but Gabriel locks Ryder back into a wrist lock, which turns into some sort of pinning predicament, only getting Gabriel a one count, if that. Ryder gets up, and is tossed off the ropes, and he ducks a clothesline and goes for a cross body, but Gabriel moves and Ryder lands neck first on the top rope. Gabriel goes for a cover, but still only gets two. It looks as though Gabriel wants to hit a body slam, but Ryder is able to reverse out of it. Ryder tries for one of his own, yet Gabriel slides out and hits a variant Side Effect. Gabriel goes for the top rope lionsault, but Ryder moves out of the way. Ryder gets up top and hits a dropkick, goes for a pin, but only gets two. Ryder gets fired up and sets up the Rough Ryder, but Gabriel has it scouted.
The two men hit the ropes, and Gabriel goes for a clothesline, but Ryder ducks it, hits the ropes, and hits the Rough Ryder for the win!
WINNER – Zack Ryder
We come back, and we see a replay of what went down in the previous match. Scott Stamford mentions that the Rough Ryder may be a hard hitting move, at least Gabriel has never had to deal with a giant freakin’ snake, like those who had the misfortune of facing off against Jake “The Snake” Roberts. Speaking of which, it’s time to open up the video vault and look at the Snakes of WWE.
It starts off with Damien, the pet snake of Jake Roberts, who had, in my opinion, the greatest finishing move ever: The DDT. WWE also had one of the most venomous snakes to hit the squared circle: The Texas Rattlesnake in Stone Cold Steve Austin. But, of course, if you’re going to talk WWE Snakes, then you have to mention The Apex Predator and The Viper, Randy Orton!
But, if you thought Randy was called a Viper because it’s a cute name, then you are crazy. It’s actually because he has been fascinated with reptiles since he was a kid. Don’t believe me? Just ask him, because he tells us this in a short little snippet.
It’s main event time, and the WWE Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan makes his way out to the ring. It’s Goatface facing off against the man formerly tagged up with the worst wrestler ever!
Daniel Bryan VS Tyson Kidd
The two lock up, and Daniel gets Kidd into an arm wrench, which Tyson flips off of the ropes out of and tosses Bryan away. Bryan gets up, and Kidd grabs him by the beard. Bryan attempts to break the hold, and gets a knock on the, hitting the canvas butt first. Daniel wants no more of this and rolls out of the ring. This brings out the other half of the Tag Team Champions, Kane! Daniel, obviously scared, gets back in the ring, and Kidd gets him up on his shoulders. Bryan slips out of it and gets Kidd on his shoulders, and proceeds to do the airplane spin for a good minute or so. Finally, Daniel lets him go, and the two stumble around the ring, until Bryan seems to come to his senses. He looks like he is going to kick Kidd, but instead, he is still dizzy and collides with the turnbuckle, as Kane watches from the bottom of the ramp. Kidd tries to steal a win, but only gets two. Kidd goes to whip Bryan off the ropes, but Bryan reverses it and leapfrogs him, before he goes to the mat to try and flip Kidd. Kidd, seeing this, decides to go for a pin, but Daniel is in a ball and neither of his shoulders will stay on the mat. Kidd decides to just roll Bryan around the ring a bit. Kidd is in disbelief, but Bryan extends his hand out just a bit for Kidd to grab onto. Bryan then undoes his little ball maneuver, tosses Kidd over him, and then steals a pin for the win!
WINNER – Daniel Bryan
After the match, Kane gets in the ring, steals Bryan’s belt, and claims he is the tag team champion. Bryan can’t seem to grab his belt, and he is sad about it. It looks as though they will hug it out, but Bryan swipes his belt back. They show fades out as they argue who is the tag team champion.
Changed my mind wrestling wise, but this show is still trying to get everyone to watch, which would have been fine had they started that about a month back. Now, it may just be deterring the kids, and parents will want to watch this show more, when Vortex is all about trying to be like a Saturday morning back in the 90s, and we all remember those days. (Heck, the fact that they show one of the older generations of Power Rangers is proof of that.)
You know, Zack and Justin work great together. The flips were toned down, but it still had all the high spots you would expect. Though I’m used to the face vs. heel notion of wrestling, it was nice to see two faces who can work circles around the ring!
Should have just done a Spotlight on Randy Orton here, rather than just making him say just one line. I liked getting to learn about the superstars, but I guess someone decided to scrap that idea entirely. Somehow, I can just see this show being just like any WWE show: Match, promo, main event.
I did enjoy this match between Daniel Bryan and Tyson Kidd. This was the comedy match, and I had no problem with it. I also have respect for anyone who will sacrifice themselves to do the airplane spin for more than 10 seconds.
Well, that’s all from me. If you don’t mind, only have 20 more days to get ready for Season 3 of MLP:FiM!!! Until next week everypony!
Remember, you can always like me on Facebook @ Facebook.com/AMARealStar and can come hang with me every Saturday night at Top Of Texas Wrestling. Check out Facebook.com/TOTFans to find out more about The Kings of Saturday Nights and Birthplace of Immortals!