Rub the dust out your eyes, get on your favorite slippers, pour yourself a bowl of Count Chocula, and plant your seat in front of The Vortex on CW, because it’s time for another edition of WWE SatMor SLAM!
Ok, this one is late. I mean LATE! This had nothing to do with WrestleView. I had videos I had to create for last night’s NWA Top Of Texas event, as well as doing facepaint for said show, and then, to top it off, I was a last minute entry into their battle royale (Which I’m sure Adam would share, but I didn’t give him the link, so the joke is on him. Huzzah!). So to say yesterday was busy is just putting it mildly. But, now that I am all rested, not stressed, and had MY bowl of cereal, let’s do this thing!
Scott Stamford welcomes us to the show! He mentions that this is “the most action packed, high flyin half hour”. He also mentions that US Champion Antonio Cesaro will face Derrick Bateman in the main event. But we kick things off with “the superstar who define extinction”, as Brodus Clay makes his way to the ring. Josh Mathews and The Miz are at the commentary table, and we are ready to kick off “Saturday Morning Miz” with Brodus and Epico!
Brodus Clay vs. Epico
Brodus is jiving around the ring, and Epico goes around and goes for a waist lock. Brodus is able to break out of this with some simple dancing, and Epico is not happy about this. Epico Bounces off the rope, and Brodus goes for a hip toss, but Epico glides over for one of his own. Brodus is able to block this, and he brings him back over and does another quick dance number before hitting the hip toss. Epico gets back up, but gets an arm drag, and then a big body slam for his troubles.Epico rolls out of the ring and regroups with Primo. The two devise a plan and go to opposite side of the ring. Primo tries to distract Brodus, but Brodus looks like he will lay Primo out. Primo counters on the apron, and Brodus just butt bumps him off the ring. Epico charges at Brodus, but Brodus gets him up and tosses him over his head across the ring! Brodus hits the Splat for the win!
WINNER: Brodus Clay
We come back, and Kane is in the back. He mentions that there have been other monsters in WWE that he has enjoyed. One being The Boogeyman, who suffered from a case of worms. Next, the dark entity Papa Shango, who would use voodoo on his opponents. Of course, Kane would never forget his brother Undertaker, who’s legacy is well known. And, last but not least, he mentions himself as being the most fear monster of WWE, and not even anger management can stop his destructive ways.
Scott Stamford says Kane keep the boiler room all to himself, and he will take his flat screen and couch over that any day. We get away from the beast, and get to hang out with the beauty Kaitlyn!
Kaitlyn decides she is going to show us how to make our own costume. More particular, a penguin. I am not going to go into detail on this, but I know you kids have that YouTube gimmick, so go check it out online.
We now get to see what the superstars and divas like about costumes, and what their favorite costume is. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for…
THE 3RD DEGREE – What is your favorite Halloween costume?
R-Truth – Superman
AJ – Any strong female video game character
Alicia Fox – Pocahontas
The Miz – Says every kids should be The Miz
Ted Dibiase – A cowboy
Brodus Clay – The two person horse costume.
It’s main event time, and the WWE United States Champion Antonio Cesaro makes his way out to the ring. It’s time to see him face off against the guy who loves every single thing about America!
NON-TITLE MATCH – Antonio Cesaro vs. Derrick Bateman
The two lock up, and Antonio backs him up into the corner, claiming he is stronger than USA. They lock back up, and Bateman pushes him into the corner, and taunts for USA. Antonio goes for a headlock, but Bateman puches him into the ropes. The two criss-cross running the ropes, until Bateman stops them both to start a USA chant, and then grabs Cesaro’s legs and trips him, going for a quick pin but only getting a one count. The roles are reversed, with Bateman getting Antonio into the headlock but is pushed off, they run the ropes, and Cesaro stops them to start a Switzerland chant, which gets booed. Cesaro goes for Bateman’s legs, but Derrick is able to reverse it into a back slide for a one count. Cesaro gets up, and and eats an over head arm toss. Bateman gets Cesaro into a wrist lock, which he reverses into a nerve pinch on Derrick. Bateman tries to reverse it, but Antonio tosses him down and locks the move back in. Derrick again tries to fight out of it, and again Cesaro tosses him away, but, as he goes to put the move back on, Bateman hits him with a drop toe hold and puts Cesaro into the nerve pinch. Cesaro is able to roll out of it, and he taunts about it, but Bateman tosses him down anyways. Bateman then dropkicks Cesaro out of the ring. Cesaro begins to argue with Miz at the commentary table.
Before we go back to action, Brodus Clay grants us with a “Don’t Try This” spot.
Back into the ring, and Cesaro is wrenching down on Bateman’s leg. Bateman would try to fight out of it, but Cesaro fights back and puts him in a sidewalk slam. He goes for a couple of pins, but only getting one counts on both. He starts to wrench on the leg, but Bateman is able to fight out of it. Antonio gets up, and Bateman hits him with a hip toss, a back toss, and a face plant! Bateman goes for the pin, but only gets two. He goes for Cesaro, but Cesaro gets Bateman by the legs and spins him around, tossing him away. Cesaro goes for the clothesline, but Bateman pulls on the top rope and causes Cesaro to go over. Bateman gets fired up and goes for a suicide dive on Cesaro. He tosses Cesaro back in the ring and goes to the top rope for a cross body, but Cesaro is able to move. This allows Cesaro to nail the Neutralizer for the win!
WINNER: Antonio Cesaro
Ok, now this one was fun, but I still say we don’t need two matches for this show.
Brodus Clay and Epico was just comedy, and I liked it. It works for this show, and works for these characters. Sure, it was only like three minutes, but it was fun, and that’s all that matters to kids.
Kane’s segment for the monsters of the WWE was great. For this being the Halloween show, we knew they were gonna do something like this. Would have liked to see Kamala or even Sid in this segment, but they still had a great thing here.
Kaitlyn was all nice and sexy, and then she put the orange around her face. Now that image will be stuck with her. Thanks a lot kids, now my hot Kaitlyn is a disturbing penguin!
I didn’t know who Derrick Bateman was (mainly because I don’t follow NXT), but I must say this was a great match between these two! Hopefully Bateman will get a mid-card spot on the roster soon!
Well, that’s all from me. If you don’t mind, I have to get ready to go into the battle lines of the Assassin’s Creed/WWE ’13 midnight release tomorrow. Oh, and only 13 more days to get ready for Season 3 of MLP:FiM!!! Until next week everypony!
Remember, you can always like me on Facebook @ Facebook.com/AMARealStar and can come hang with me every Saturday night at Top Of Texas Wrestling. Check out Facebook.com/TOTFans to find out more about The Kings of Saturday Nights and Birthplace of Immortals!