Rub the dust out your eyes, get on your favorite slippers, get some Dunkin Donuts (Thank you for bringing these to Amarillo!!!), and plant your seat in front of The Vortex on CW, because it’s time for another edition of WWE SatMor SLAM!
Late again, I know. I had serious stuff come up with NWA Top Of Texas as we had benefit show scheduled and we had NWA World Champion Kahagas in Amarillo, so I was very busy. But, let’s keep that short, and let’s get down to action!
Scott Stamford welcomes us to “The hardest hitting, highest flying half hour on television today”! He mentions Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston will be facing Zack Ryder in our main event. But we kick things with the grestest technical wrestler in the business today. Josh Mathews and Santino are on commentary, as William Regal is set to face K-Kwik… Oh wait, no, that’s R-Truth. Still, let’s do this!
William Regal vs. R-Truth
They are circling the ring, and R-Truth notices that Little Jimmy is still in the ring, so he helps him out. They go to lock up, but Regal gets R-Truth into an arm lock. Truth is able to reverse it and get out, only to go into the corner and do his up and over, and gets Regal with a drop toe hold. Little Jimmy seems to have gotten back into the ring, and Truth is just celebrate panting Regal on his nose. Regal has no idea what is going on. William starts to berate Little Jimmy, and its seems like Jimmy has hit Regal, as Regal chases Jimmy out of the ring to the protection of Santino. Regal turns around into a body slam by Truth, who goes for a pin, but only gets a one count. Regal gets the upper hand and locks in a wrist lock, but Truth reverses into a monkey flip and drop kicks Regal. Regal has Truth by the leg, and it looks as though Truth is going to kick him, but Regal ducks. Truth goes off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, and reverses a hip toss into a roll up to get the win over Regal!
We come back, and Scott mentions that The Miz just loves the camera. He is the most watched WWE Champion in the business, but he has his moments of flubs, especially in a recent film shoot. Unfortunately, it is nothing from his recent Marine movie shoot, but all generic shots the WWE seemed to come up with. From a literal bucket list, to moonwalking the moon, becoming president, flying a jet, and even getting married, we are graced to see the many bloopers in film shoots.
This leads into the Video Vault, looking back at past Survivor Series moments. Kicking things off was Awesome Truth (WWE even credited them as such) going up against Cena and The Rock. Next up, the debut of, personally my favorite moment in WWE as a kid, the debut of Rocky Miavia. They followed this with the most talked about moment in WWE history, the match between Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart in Montreal. Then, of course, we finish things of with the traditional Survivor Series matches, talking about moments like Michaels and his Knights against The Hart Family, Raw VS SmackDown (Huh, I just realized the WWE games do come out right before… OH MY GAAWWDD!!!), and even The Alliance VS The WWE! All of these were great moments!
WE then are shown that the Intercontinental Championship is one of the most prestigious in WWE history, and its current holder is none other than the Kofi Kingston. It is… Wait, no… I like this segment… You wouldn’t, would you?
SATURDAY MORNING SPOTLIGHT – Kofi Kingston
Just my luck… Well, we see various action shots of Kofi, including that stupid hair from WrestleMania a few years back. We hear praises from Kingston himself, as well as the commentators, and Layla… And Chili from TLC??? I swear, this is just… Go to commercial please…
Before we go back to action, David Otunga grants us with a “Don’t Try This” spot. *Coffee begins to brew*
It’s main event time, and the WooWooWoo Kid makes his way to the ring. Santino is still at the table, as Kofi… Kofi is in action…
WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Zack Ryder
They lock up, and Kofi gets Zack into the corner. Lock up again, and Zack this time gets Kofi into the corner. Kofi goes around and gets Zack into a headlock. Zack pushes him off, but Kofi hits a shoulder tackle. As Zack gets up, Kofi is rebounding off the ropes. Zack leaps over Kofi, but Kofi spins Zack around and pulls down his headband over his eyes. Zack is blind, and Kofi uses this to his advantage by pushing Zack into the ropes. Zack hits the ropes chest first, causing him to back over into Kofi, who rolls him up, but no count. Zack is kinda upset as he regroups outside, giving Santino his headband. They go to shake hands, but Zack goes for a roll up instead, still no count though. It seems as they are upset at each other’s antics. Zack gets behind Kofi, which leads to a series of back and forth trying to get the other off balance. This ends as Kofi tries to push Zack into the corner, but Zack is able to stop himself and hits a drop toe hold onto Kofi into the turnbuckle. Zack goes for the Broski Boot, but Kofi slides out of the ring. Zack goes over the top, but Kofi is able to slide back in, and Zack lands on his feet. Kofi looks like he is going to do his springboard backflip to the outside, but Zack has it well scouted and moves to the other side. Kofi realizes this and decides it’s not a good idea to go flip.
Back into the ring, Zack Ryder has Kofi in a vice grip. Kofi gets out of it, and attemps to slingshot Zack to the outside, but Zack lands on his feet on the apron. Kofi charges Zack, who hits a shoulder into Kofi’s gut. This sets up a sunset flip, which in turn sets up a series of one count pins. Kofi whips Zack into the ropes, and goes for a reverse flying blow, but Zack stops and rolls up Kofi for a two count. Zack gets in the corner, in shock, and moves as Kofi goes for a splash. He gets Kofi in an ab lock. Kofi gets up and steps on Zack’s foot to get out of the hold. He rebounds off the ropes to go for a clothesline, but Zack gets him up into a flapjack for a two count. Zack stretches out Kofi and places a knee to his back. Kofi works his way up, but Zack gets the hold back in. Kofi is able to flip out of it, and gets zack into a leg scissors to whip him into the corner. This leads to the two fighting for control, but Kofi gets the control and hits a Russian leg sweep. This leads to Kofi hitting the Boom Drop. Kofi sets up for the Trouble In Paradise, but Zack ducks it. Zack attempts to hit the Rough Ryder, but Kofi tosses him behind. Zack goes up to the top rope to hit a top rope Rough Ryder, but Kofi goes under it, and goes up to hit the cross body to get the win!
WINNER: Kofi Kingston
Oh man, I am kinda glad I waited for this one. I hate to say it, but this was the WORST SatMor SLAM so far!
I love William Regal. The guy is great in all aspects of the business. And R-Truth is a great worker, with a character to boot. So why, oh why, did this match suck so much? Three or four minutes, and the most offense came from a dropkick? I know this show is for kids, but I am sure even kids thought, “Ok, that was lame.” Sure, the Little Jimmy stuff is always good, but it just didn’t feel right in this match. Especially since WWE returned to cutting away from the ring, so we missed what Jimmy actually did.
The Miz blunders was just so cheesy. It was like WWE said, “Ok, let’s do all these promos for Saturday Morning Slam” and then, after seeing it, they said, “You know what, let’s just throw all of that away and just keep the bloopers.” Well thanks for that WWE.
Ok, the Video Vault was the best part of this. One of my favorite events is Survivor Series. From the big title matches to the little matches, all the way to the Survivor Series matches. It always seems to have the one moment to talk about all the way to WrestleMania! The segments they chose actually mean the most to WWE in the history of the event. Here’s to another great Survivor Series!
I do like the Saturday Morning Spotlight, and I am glad it made its return. But Kofi, really? I know the kids love Kofi, but Kofi is terrible. Plus, Chili just threw me off. Why?
Also, why did we need this match? I know the kiddies love these guys, but come on. Kids also like when the good guy faces a bad guy and prevails. That is the main reason for Saturday morning line-ups. We don’t wanna see friends fight. Sure, the match was ok, but, from someone who likes to watch the Saturday morning shows, this was a let down.
Well, that’s all from me. If you don’t mind, I still have to watch episode 3 of MLP. Until next week everypony!
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