Yes, as Bruce Buffer says…
IT’S TIME! Oh, it’s time to bring you another amazing episode of WWE Main Event on ion Television!
Three nights removed from Survivor Series, Michael Cole and John Layfield introduce us to WWE Main Event.
Miz is already in the ring, when Dolph interrupts. The Miz and Dolph go at it, with Dolph Ziggler reinforcing that Mizanin is a loser, and The Miz claiming that Dolph’s life is a LIE.
By the way, The Miz called Dolph Ziggler “Linus Van Pelt”.
Ziggler gets a little salty and slaps Miz in the face after Miz ran down the fact that be nothing but a NEVER WAS. Miz soaks it in for a little bit, and Mike Chioda starts the match.
Mike “The Miz” Mizanin vs. Dolph “Linus Van Pelt” Ziggler
The match begins, with Miz dropping Ziggler with a flapjack and a clothesline to the outside. This crowd is HOT for this match.
Miz is dropping bombs on Dolph Ziggler, and goes for the cover. Ziggler kicks out at two, and Miz lays into Ziggler with some fierce kicks. Miz goes for the pin and Ziggler kicks out. Miz controls the head, and Ziggler slips out, and takes control, dropping the elbow and going for the pin. Miz kicks out, but Ziggler maintains control with a shoulder block, but loses control and Miz eventually slingshots him into the turnbuckle. Miz goes for the Neckbreaker/Backbreaker combo, however, Ziggler counters with a dropkick and goes for the pin, and Miz kicks out. Ziggler slams Miz to the mat and takes a Jericho approach with the cocky pin, but Miz kicks out at one. Ziggler starts showing off again, bounces off the ropes, and Miz drops him to the ringside area with a back body drop.
Ziggler has the Miz in a body guillotine after Ziggler took control during the break. Miz fights out, and they begin brawling on the ground, but Chioda separates them, and Ziggler hits a clothesline. Miz kicks out of the pin after two, and a frustrated Ziggler drops several elbows, and pins Miz again. Miz kicks out after two. Ziggler controls the head, and Miz fights out and hits a BEAUTIFUL dropkick. Miz goes for his clothesline in the corner, however, Ziggler side steps and sends Miz into the post. Ziggler goes to expose the turnbuckle, and Chioda stops him. Ziggler stops Miz with a dropkick, and pins him for another two count. Dolph locks Miz in a submission hold, but Miz fights out again. The guys exchange punches, and Miz takes control, however, Dolph and Miz clash into each other, both thinking body presses.
Ziggler kicks out of a Miz pin as we come back. Ziggler goes to measure Miz for a punch, and Miz goes for the small roll-up. Ziggler kicks out at one, kicks the Miz in the stomach, and hits the FameAsser and pins Miz only for a two count. Ziggler tries for a Guillotine choke, but Miz fights out. Miz starts making his comeback with a couple clotheslines and what I like to call his COMBO BREAKER. Miz pins, and Ziggler kicks out. Miz goes for his corner clothesline, but Ziggler counters and goes for the dirty pin. Chioda catches him, opening up the opportunity for the Miz to drop him with a Side Effect for a two-count. Ziggler drops a few kicks, and locks in the sleeper. Miz backs Dolph into the corner, but Ziggler holds on. It’s to no avail, as Miz gets out. Miz drops bombs on the Show-Off, and Chioda had to separate them. Miz finally hits his clothesline, and follows with a polish hammer off the top. Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, Ziggler gets out, tries for the Zig Zag, but Miz holds on to the ropes. Miz runs after Dolph but Ziggler throws Mizanin into the exposed turnbuckle. It’s academic after the Zig Zag.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
Final Move: Zig Zag
Matt Striker doesn’t get a chance to ask Ziggler a question before he is sent away. Dolph declares that he’s better than everyone. I beg to differ. He’s no JBL. That all aside, Ziggler says that Cena’s still in his crosshairs, and it isn’t over by a long shot. Show…OFF.
Up next is Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel.
Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel
Wade Barrett is making his way to the ring, where Justin Gabriel is waiting. Barrett takes it to Gabriel. Little Naitch separates Barrett from Gabriel, allowing Gabriel to drop a chop across Barrett’s chest, however, Barrett takes control once again, with a rebound backbreaker. Gabriel kicks out after a pin. Barrett continues the assault, with some rebound strikes. Barrett hits a suplex, and Gabriel kicks out after a pin again. Gabriel tries to take control, but Barrett maintains the pressure. Gabriel tries to make a comeback, but Barrett kicks out after the lateral press. Gabriel tries for the Moonsault, however, Barrett moves out of the way and hits the Winds of Change. Barrett goes for the pumphandle, however Gabriel counters, hits the Final Cut, and tries for the pin. Barrett kicks out. Gabriel hits the STO in the corner, and goes for the 450 splash, only to get hung up on the ropes. Wade hits the Bull Hammer, and it’s academic.
Winner: Wade Barrett
Final Move: The Bull Hammer
John Cena, Ph.D, Thugonomics makes his ion TV debut next week! We’ll find out his opponent on the other side of this break!
Last time on “As The Raw Turns:” AJ and John Cena make out, Dolph gets mad, and Cena screws up his knee! Cena needs to hire the Primetime Players as a bodyguard service. Cryme Tyme isn’t available anymore.
John Cena will be on Miz TV this Friday Night.
Damien Sandow makes his way to the stage. Consider my indulgence begged. Damien Sandow announces that he is John Cena’s opponent. Sandow hates on John Cena’s schtick, calling John Cena a false idol and a hypocrite. YOU’RE WELCOME.
Next Week on WWE Main Event:
John Cena will face Damien Sandow!
I will forego my bullet points this week. I have a lot to say about Ziggler and The Miz, as well as the sheer potential of the John Cena/Damien Sandow match up. It will come sometime this weekend as either an audio download or a full blown column, as there is just TOO much to say about both of these pressing issues.
You can also follow me (@ClintonBowmanWV) to leave your thoughts about WWE Main Event, talk wrestling, video games and anything New York Knicks related.
Add ‘Young Navigator’ to Xbox Live. I’m currently playing Super Street Fighter IV: AE 2012 as Sakura, as I’m looking for any practice to help me get to semi-pro level. I also have WWE ’13, and the game is very good, despite its flaws.
Have any questions? I’ll answer any questions about this week’s episode on next week’s recap. Just send them to firstname.lastname@example.org!