Are you ready? Then stop questioning your heart and join me because it is time for Monday Night RAW!!!
In tonight’s main event, Randy Orton faces Chris Jericho. If Jericho wins, he will become the #1 contender for the WWE Championship.
The Miz’s music hits, and he makes his way down the entrance ramp with his “employee,” Alex Riley. Miz says that Daniel Bryan challenged Riley and himself to a tag team match. Bryan is someone who believes that just because he won the lottery once, he now thinks that he will win every time. Miz begins to deliver his “Awesome” catchphrase, but Daniel Bryan’s music hits.
Bryan comes down to the ring with Ride of the Valkyries playing as his accompaniment. If you missed it last week, that really is his theme. Bryan doesn’t say a word as Miz taunts him, asking for the identity of his opponent. Morrison’s music hits, and it’s time to get this match started.
Daniel Bryan & John Morrison v. The Miz & Alex Riley
Bryan and Riley start out in the ring. Bryan connects with a couple of kicks and punches and grabs the arm of Riley. Bryan tags in Morrison. The Shaman of Sexy comes into the ring and hits Riley with an arm drag. Morrison throws him into the corner. Morrison pulls Riley out of the corner, throws him back in, and connects with a clothesline. Riley bounces off the ropes and hits a shoulder block on Morrison.
Miz is tagged into the match and he begins to work on the head of Morrison, who has been stranded in enemy territory. Miz first stomps on Morrison’s face, then seesaws his neck into the bottom rope. Miz goes for the cover, but Morrison kicks out. Miz locks on a side headlock, and drags him to the corner to tag in Riley.
Riley takes it straight to Morrison with some strong kicks in the corner. Riley connects with a sit down scoop slam and goes for the cover. Morrison kicks out. Riley tags in Miz, who first takes several shots from the apron to the back of Morrison’s head. Riley holds Morrison in the corner which allows Miz to hit his diabolical splash.
Miz drags Morrison into the center of the ring and goes for the cover. Morrison kicks out. Miz grabs the arms of Morrison and is trying to lock in a submission maneuver. Morrison rolls out with a snapmare, but rolls towards the wrong corner and can’t tag in Bryan. Miz catches Morrison as he tries to roll to Bryan. Morrison connects with a wheel kick, and tags in Bryan.
Daniel comes screaming into the ring and hits a German suplex on Riley. Bryan follows with a running dropkick in the corner. Miz rolls back into the ring. Bryan tries to hit the LeBell lock, but Miz is able to push Bryan off of him. This sends Bryan into Morrison and allows Miz to set up for his finisher. Skull Crushing Finale from the Money in the Bank winner, and this match is over.
Winner via Skull Crushing Finale: The Miz & Alex Riley
After the match Miz kicks Bryan in the gut. Morrison comes in to make the save. Morrison and Miz roll to the outside. Bryan leaps from inside the ring with a suicide dive hitting both Morrison and Miz. Bryan starts to attack Miz with some kicks and punches. Morrison tries to join in, but Bryan punches him! Bryan then follows up by throwing Morrison over the barricade! Miz and Bryan are now exchanging blows. Morrison leaps back over the guard rail taking out both men.
and I quote…
I’ve decided that this Sunday at Hell-in-a-Cell, for the first time ever, Daniel Bryan will defend the US Championship against both Miz & John Morrison. It is a match that I just invented, a triple-threat submissions count anywhere match.
Diva Battle Royal for the Divas Championship #1 Contendership
Alicia Fox, Tamina, Natalya, Maryse, Bella Twins, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Jillian Hall & Melina
Melina is eliminated
Gail Kim is eliminated
Tamina is eliminated
The Bella Twins are eliminated
Maryse is eliminated
Eve Torres is eliminated
Jillian Hall is eliminated
Alicia Fox is eliminated
Maryse and Dibiase are in their dressing room. A note is slipped under the door in an envelope. Dibiase opens the door to try and discover the identity of the messenger, but there is no one to be found. The note reads: “next week you will be mine.”
Sheamus makes his way down to the ring, and grabs a mic. Sheamus begins to tell us the fiery red hand of Ireland. Something about princes and a race. His message is to tell Orton that he will defeat at the PPV. He tells Orton to ask HHH for pointers in Hell-in-a-Cell as it is a match he helped define. Sheamus calls for any RAW Superstar with a “set of tires”, to come down to the ring and challenge him.
Sheamus v. The Great Khali
Sheamus is backed into the corner. Khali hits a huge chop that echoes through the arena. Sheamus is able to bounce back and kick the knees of Khali, sending him to the ground. Sheamus kicks Khali out of the ring, and then follows after.
On the outside, Sheamus continues to kick and punch the Indian star. Sheamus tears off the top of the announce table and hits Khali with it. Sheamus then grabs the desk chairs of the announcers and chucks them at Khali.
Winner via DQ: The Great Khali
Sheamus is caught by a punch from Khali, but dodges a chop and Khali hits the steel post. Sheamus connects with a Bro Kick. Still unquenched, Sheamus connects with another! Sheamus is fuming as he looks out across the audience. A huge red handprint is shining off of his chest from the chop that Khali had delivered.
Special Guest: Anonymous RAW GM
Edge has the podium set up in the ring, with the laptop on it. Apparently, it will be a computerized voice representing the GM to protect his identity. Edge asks why the GM is such a spineless coward. The GM asks why Edge is such a moron. Clearly he is anonymous to protect his identity.
The GM says that Edge has hurt his feelings. The computer actually starts to berate Edge. Edge starts to argue back but stops himself and says: “We’ve gone from Stone Cold stunning Vince McMahon on RAW to Edge talking on a computer”.
The computer says that there are things he knows that Edge does not. Edge says he will just ask Jericho for the GM’s identity. The computer says that Jericho is bluffing. Plus the GM knows the identity of Edge’s opponent tonight. Edge says that he doesn’t have an opponent tonight, and begins to exit the ring. The computer says that in fact he does have an opponent, and it is this man…
Cena’s music hits! This match is next
Edge v. John Cena
Edge backs Cena into the corner and connects with an uppercut. A shot is shown of Nexus watching this match from the back. Cena is on the ground, and being stomped on by Edge. Cena tries to trip Edge into the STF, but Edge counters and sends Cena out of the ring.
Cena tries to get back into the ring, but is hit with a baseball slide, which knocks him out once again. Edge heads to the outside, and grabs the head of Cena. Edge connects with a punch, and then whips Cena into the steel steps. Edge slides back into the ring to stop the ten count, and then goes back out to work on Cena. Edge rolls him into the ring, and goes for the pin. Cena kicks out.
Cena lifts Edge up for the AA, but Edge slides off and hits a back neck breaker. Cover attempt, but Cena kicks out. Edge punches Cena in the face, and knees him in the gut. Edge has a smirk on his face as he looks out on the crowd. Cena is lifted to his feet, which he uses to bounce off the ropes and hit a shoulder block. Both men fall to the mat. Edge is first to his feet and goes for a cover. Cena kicks out.
Edge whips Cena hard into the corner, which sends him crashing to the ground. Edge lifts his hands up in the air, and is looking for a suplex. Cena counters, and hits a snap suplex. Cena goes for the AA, but this time Edge counters into a DDT. Cena kicks out of the cover.
Edge starts to pick up Cena, but Cena kicks him in the gut and hits a bulldog. Cena lifts Edge up in the corner, looking for an Attitude Adjustment from the second rope. Edge tries to fight off, and is able to slip behind Cena. Edge is whipped into the corner, but bounces out and hits the ropes. He charges at Cena and hits a spear! This match is over.
Winner via Spear: Edge
No longer Cole, but the computerized voice
Edge must play by the rules. Cena’s leg was under rope, so the match must be restarted.
Edge v. John Cena
Edge looks for the spear, but Cena trips him into the STF. Edge taps, and this time Cena is the winner.
Winner via STF: John Cena
After the match, Edge stares down the computer podium.
(* will represent the voice of the GM in this next segment*)
*Edge, you lost fair and square, don’t look at me like that. Just walk away*
Edge looks towards the ramp, but then stares at the computer
*What are you doing Edge? You’ve got the crazy eyes. I’m warning you…*
Edge knocks over the podium and the computer crashes to the ground.
*Stop him Cole*
Edge then grabs a steel chair and begins to hit the computer. He also throws in a standing elbow drop. The computer has split in two. Edge picks up half and slams it repeatedly into his head.
Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel w/ Nexus v. Evan Bourne & Mark Henry
Bourne and Slater start things off in the ring. Slater throws Bourne head first into the turnbuckle, and then tags in Gabriel. Justin slams him down to the mat, and then tags back in Slater. He hits his flailing body splash and goes for a cover. Bourne kicks out. Slater whips him into the turnbuckle. Bourne dodges a splash, and connects with a huge knee on Slater. Bourne gets to his corner and tags in Henry!
Gabriel is tagged in as well but he is hesitant to go after the World’s Strongest Man. Henry connects with a HUGE fall away slam, setting up the Shooting Star Press. Slater kicks the knees of Henry, and Gabriel pulls Bourne off the turnbuckle. Gabriel heads to the top rope. Gabriel leaps for his 450 Splash, but Bourne rolls out of the way! Bourne heads up the turnbuckle and now it is his turn to go high risk. Bourne leaps and hits the Shooting Star Press! Bourne goes for the cover, and this match is –
Slater pushes Bourne, which allows Gabriel to roll through and pick up the win!
Winners via Rollup: Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater
After the match, the Nexus goes after Mark Henry and beats him up on the outside. All of the members get into the ring with Bourne, and encircle the young star. They proceed to hit their finishers in turn. Wade hits The Wasteland, and then puts Bourne over towards the corner. Gabriel heads to the top rope, and this time he connects with the 450 Splash.
Wade grabs the mic and says that after Sunday, Cena will officially be a member of the Nexus. Together, they will demoralize the entire WWE. But, to show Cena that not everything is bad about the Nexus, they are going to take a trip. Otunga says that the Nexus will be invading Smackdown on Friday! Tarver says that the bad news is, that they are the bad news!
In the back, The Unified Tag Team Champions, Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre are shown getting ready to head to the ring.
Next Week’s Guest Star will be Johnny Knoxville. Because apparently promotion for Jackass 3D = PG material
“Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre v. The Hart Dynasty
Tyson and Rhodes start things off in the ring. Rhodes is quick to knock Kidd to the ground and tag in Drew. Drew locks on a side headlock, and then tags back in Rhodes. Cody stomps on the chest of Kidd, and then tags back in McIntyre. Rhodes whips Tyson at Drew, and McIntyre connects with a clothesline. Cover attempt, but Tyson kicks out. Kidd hits a spinning dropkick, and tags in David.
Smith charges into the ring and punches Rhodes in the face. He follows with two shoulder blocks and then a running knee. Smith is pumped up as he hits a charging clothesline on Rhodes in the corner. Cody attempts a counter, but gets hit with a HUGE backbreaker. McIntyre tries to interrupt, but gets thrown out of the ring for his trouble. Smith lifts up Rhodes, and is looking for the Hart Attack. Tyson goes for the springboard, but Drew knocks him forward. This causes Smith to drop Rhodes. Cody hits the Cross Rhodes and this match is over.
Winners via Cross Rhodes: Not The Hart Dynasty
After the match, Tyson and Smith begin to argue. Smith is angry that Tyson hit him from behind. Tyson tries to explain that he was pushed, but Smith will have none of it. Smith walks away as the other two look confused.
In the back, Cena is show with R-Truth. Cena says that he likes the new song. Truth says that no matter what happens on Sunday, he will always have his back. Cena says not to worry, because he will not lose. Truth tells him to be careful. Cena says he is of course very careful. Truth says that no he is not, in fact he is one of the most reckless stars. Cena is always getting crunk.
Cena admits that he may at times be reckless. Plus, he does love to get crunk. So this Friday, he is going to get crunk and show up on Smackdown since that’s where the Nexus is going to be as well!
Jericho makes his way out to the ring, with microphone in hand. He starts to put over Orton, but says that he will win his match tonight. Because like Orton is the Legend Killer, Jericho will be the Viper Killer. Jericho then starts to put over the successes of his career and begins to list the names of everyone he has ever beaten. The show cuts to commercial as he talks.
We come back from commercial, and Jericho is STILL listing the names of people he has beaten. Sting, Flair, Perry Saturn, Goldberg, Kevin Nash, Diesel, Scott Hall, Razor Ramon and Buff Bagwell are just a FEW on the long list of names he shared.
Chris Jericho v. Randy Orton
Jericho has vowed to leave the WWE if he loses this match.
Jericho starts by punching Orton in the face. He pushes Randy into the corner and follows with a punch. Jericho whips Orton to the other corner, but Orton bounces out and hits a clothesline. Orton knocks Jericho to the mat, and rolls to the outside. On the outside, Orton hits a series of uppercuts to the head of Jericho which is hanging over the apron.
Orton backs Jericho in the corner, and the referee makes him back off. Jericho slaps Orton in the face. Jericho knocks Orton down to the ground, and then tells him to get up, “you stupid man”. Orton gets to his feet and whips Jericho into the ropes. Jericho holds on to avoid bouncing back at Orton, so Orton clotheslines him over the top rope and to the outside. Jericho whips Orton into the barricade as the show heads to commercial.
Back from the break, Orton is stomping on Jericho. Sheamus makes his way out onto the entrance ramp, and is apparently going to watch this match. Jericho tries for a Code Breaker from behind, but Orton senses the attempt. Jericho instead hits an enziguiri. Jericho goes for a cover, but the referee breaks it because Jericho is using the ropes for leverage.
Jericho sets up Orton under the bottom rope and hits a seesaw. Jericho then goes for a back splash, but Orton moves out of the way. Orton tries for an RKO, but Jericho counters into a backslide. Orton kicks out. Jericho knocks Orton down to the mat again, and goes for a cover. Orton kicks out.
Jericho drags Orton to the middle of the ring, and has a headlock applied. Orton attempts to get to his feet, and breaks free with a series of elbows to the gut of Jericho. Orton bounces off the ropes, but Jericho connects with a dropkick. Cover attempt, but Orton kicks out.
Jericho hits a standing knee drop to the head of Orton. Cover, Orton kicks out. Jericho locks on a rear headlock. The crowd begins an “RKO” chant. Orton escapes by lifting Jericho into the air and hitting an elevated side slam. Both men get to their feet, and Jericho is whipped into the ropes. Scoop slam connects from Orton. Jericho does not allow him to capitalize as he hits a dropkick. Jericho follows with a lionsault attempt, but Orton moves out of the way!
Orton tries to hit an RKO, but does not connect as Jericho doesn’t fall to the mat with him. Jericho goes for another lionsault, and this time he hits it! Cover attempt, but Orton kicks out. Orton is sent to the apron. Jericho tries to hit a springboard kick, but Orton dodges the move. Orton has Jericho set up for the suspended DDT.
Jericho counters into the Walls of Jericho! Orton escapes by rolling back under the legs of Jericho! Orton then sets Jericho up on the apron once again, and this time he does hit the suspended DDT. Orton is stalking Jericho, and is looking for the RKO. Sheamus charges into the ring at Orton, and causes the match to end in DQ!
Winner via DQ: Randy Orton
After the match, Orton is able to knock down Sheamus. Randy is set up for the RKO, and begins to leap. Out of nowhere, Jericho hits the Code Breaker on Orton! Jericho heads out of the ring and finds a steel chair at ringside. Chris reenters the ring and screams that he is going to knock his head off. Orton dodges the chair shot, and hits an RKO! Jericho is on the mat, struggling to get to his feet. Orton looks ready to lose his mind, and is trembling in the corner. Orton runs across the ring, and hits a sick punt to the head of Jericho! Orton and Sheamus stare each other down as the show goes off the air only six days before they will meet at Hell-in-a-Cell.
The opening match tonight was bizarre. I am always a fan of when the WWE decides to run a match instead of a 15 minute promo, so I thought it was off to a good start. The match itself just seemed to be lacking in my opinion. The four guys involved really did not get to showcase their individual styles, aside from a couple of spins from Morrison. I felt they stuck to very basic holds and punches, which failed to actively engage the audience and viewer. All four are much more talented then they looked tonight.
As for the aftermath, I have no idea where that came from. I’ve been rooting for Morrison to turn heel, but the segment seemed rather forced. I suppose the concept is that Bryan was so into fighting Miz that he didn’t care about anyone who got in his way. Thus, he punches Morrison. Still it seems like a forced attempt to make a crazy match for the PPV. (Triple-threat submission counts anywhere match) It will either be awesome or horrendous, I’m hoping for the former.
Natalya deserves a shot as a singles star. She is very talented in the ring, which is no secret to us, but the wider audience hasn’t had a chance to see her work in FCW or previous to that. I’m hoping she can win the belt, although the ‘E has something very strong at the moment in Team LayCool so it will be a tough prediction to make. (See! For once I didn’t espouse my dislike for Alicia Fox, so you can’t send me hate mail)
Sheamus may actually use more absurd sayings and metaphors than I do. Well, probably not, but I’ve never heard the “pair of tires” one before. Let me translate – balls. I get that it is PG so you shouldn’t say balls, but “set of tires?”. Surely there are better sayings that embody the phrase than that.
The imprint of Khali’s hand across the chest of Sheamus was an amazing sight. That was a hell of a chop. WOOOOOO!!!!
No but seriously, that had to hurt.
I really thought that the Edge/Computer segment was hilarious. I don’t know why, but that’s how I feel.
The Edge/Cena match was out of the blue, but decent. For a TV match, it got the job done. The ending was a bit contrived, but given the context of the Edge/GM feud, it worked. Watching Edge give the laptop a standing elbow drop was a thing of beauty. I’ll admit that part of me was thinking “am I really watching this?”, but the other part was saying, “yes you are and it is awesome, so just go with it”.
I’m in a bit of shock that I actually saw a match and segment of WWE TV (in 2010) revolve around two superstars trying to hit a top rope flip. I think a lot of fans have considered the possibility of a Evan Bourne v. Justin Gabriel feud. It may not materialize, but tonight was certainly a nice teaser. On a side note, I’m the one that called for a Henry/Bourne tag team before it actually happened. I’m glad it happened.
I know that the “cool” thing to do is hate on David Hart Smith, but he looked very good in the ring tonight. His moves were explosive, and he came across as a dominant force. Say what you want about the guy, but tonight he looked great. It’s a shame that it looks like the team is going to be broken up, because I fear for the future of Tyson Kidd. He is an incredibly gifted wrestler, but his size is of course on the lower end. Hopefully it won’t matter, because I truly believe he is a star who can sell tickets and bring in money.
Whenever I hear R-Truth say “crunk”, this is what comes to mind:
(from Tik Tok by Ke$ha)
“I’m talking about – everybody getting crunk, crunk
Boys trying to touch my junk, junk
Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk”
Can R-Truth please find a new catchphrase?
Jericho listing the names of every opponent he has ever beaten was rather impressive. Nice scripting by the WWE to have the show go to commercial while he was listing, and to come back with him still listing names. It actually was a pretty impactful segment, because it is far too easy to forget just how much Jericho has accomplished in his career.
It was a solid match, with a hell of a sendoff for Jericho. It was a better ending then to have him outright lose a match and thus leave of his own will (yes, the DQ did count as a loss for Jericho, but he could easily argue the conditions). Jericho not only gets to take his leave, but he also put over Orton in the process, and helped build for the Hell-in-a-Cell PPV. That’s how book great wrestling storylines.
I do read every single e-mail you guys send, and really appreciate hearing your thoughts. Send me some e-mails, and have a safe week everyone!
So that’s RAW…. Love it? Hate it? Disagree with everything I said? Just want to chat wrestling? I’m always up for reading your thoughts and do my absolute best to reply to every message I get. Send them over to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. (there were a lot of great ones that I didn’t get a chance to respond to this past week, and I hope to reply to them this week so sorry if you were one of them!)
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