Have the words “bloody” and “wicked” suddenly entered your vocabulary since RAW is in the UK? Then stop questioning your heart and join me because it is time for Monday Night RAW!!!
Josh Mathews is filling in for Jerry “The King” Lawler on commentary tonight, joining Michael Cole.
John Cena is in the ring to kick off the show. He introduces Wade Barrett as he returns home to the UK. The rest of Nexus, along with Wade, make their way down to the ring. Wade proclaims that the prodigal son has returned. He tells Manchester that there is going to be a party tonight, to celebrate as they will after Wade wins the Title. But, before we get to any of that, there is a matter to be cleared up.
We see a video package of David Otunga taking Nexus to Smackdown this past week, and not being very successful at it. Wade tells him that they will deal with it later. Wade then turns to Cena, and questions his refereeing from last Monday Night. Wade reiterates that at Survivor Series, Cena must raise his hand in victory, with the Title, or else he will be fired. Wade now wants Cena to practice telling the world that he is the new WWE Champion. Cena says, “whatever” and is about to oblige, but Orton’s music hits.
Orton comes to the entrance ramp and informs Wade that he’ll never win the Title.
And I quote…
Wade Barrett’s Championship win preview has been officially cancelled. Also, to ensure that there is a decisive winner at Survivor Series, the match can only be won by pinfall or submission. The rest of Nexus will be banned from ringside. As for tonight, Team Nexus will take on an army of Orton’s (as chosen by the GM) in the main event. John Cena will be the Special Guest Referee for the match.
After the announcement, Cena isn’t too thrilled and kicks over the Nexus podium in the ring. Cena pushes over Otunga and heads to the back.
3 on 3 Divas Cup Match
Eve Torres & The Bella Twins v. Alicia Fox, Maryse & Tamina
Josh Mathews just said “6 Divas, 1 Cup”. I love this guy.
Tamina and Eve start things off. Eve hits a slow roundhouse on Tamina in the corner. Tamina lifts her into the air for a Samoan drop. Cover attempt, but Eve kicks out. Maryse gets the tag and goes for a cover. Eve kicks out.
“Michael Cole just said he wants to be a cheerleader” – Josh Mathews
Alicia and one of the Bellas get the tags from their prospective side. Bella goes for the cover, but Tamina comes in to make the save. The other Bella tries to run in to help, but the referee keeps her out of the ring. Torres runs over at Tamina and takes her to the outside of the ring. Maryse drops one of the Bellas, but the other Bella runs in and does “Twin Magic”, making the switch. This match is over.
Winners via Twin Magic: Eve Torres & The Bella Twins
In the back, David Otunga is talking to Nexus. Wade Barrettcomes into the locker room, and Otunga quickly shuts up. Otunga says he was just telling them to step up tonight. Wade says that tonight, David better be ready to go. Otunga will face John Cena on RAW tonight!
The Hart Dynasty v. The Usos w/ Tamina
David starts things off with one of the Usos. Quickly, things begin to spill over and Smith ends up throwing both Usos to the outside. Tyson runs into the ring off a tag and hits a beautiful somersault plancha into a hurricarana to the outside of the ring. Back in the ring, Jimmy (maybe?) goes for a splash on Tyson, but catches nothing but air.
“David Hart Smith as the personality of a chalkboard” – Michael Cole
Smith gets the tag, and comes into the ring for a pin attempt. Kick out by Jimmy(?). Smith lifts him into the air for a running scoop slam. Cover attempt, but Jimmy(?) kicks out. Jey(?) runs into the ring to break the cover. Tyson connects with a baseball slide to send him out of the ring. Jimmy is able to get a nice kick on Smith which knocks him down. Jimmy leaps from the top rope with a splash. This match is over.
Winners via Splash: The Usos
Matt Striker is in the back with Randy Orton. Striker asks him if he knows the identity of the RAW GM. Randy says it’s a stupid question to even ask him, the bottom line is that he is just waiting to find out who is on his team. The Miz walks into the shot to inform Orton that he heard from the GM that he is on his team.
Otunga is in the back with a less than thrilled Nexus. He tells them that when he said he was the most talented member of Nexus, he was talking about Cena. David is trying really hard to convince the team that it is all good.
“Take it from me, old guys have no success with young women” – Michael Cole
Goldust v. Ted Dibiase w/ Maryse
Goldust gets caught with an inverted atomic drop. Dibiase follows up with a clothesline, and then goes for the cover. Goldust kicks out. Dibiase goes for a headlock, but Goldust tries to punch his way out. Dibiase drops him to the mat, and goes for the cover. Goldust kicks out.
Maryse grabs the million dollar championship from ringside. That was easy. Goldust plows out of the corner and hits a bulldog. Cover attempt, but Dibiase kicks out. Aksana runs down to the ring, and grabs the title from Maryse! This distracts Ted just enough to allow Goldust room for a quick rollup.
Winner via Aksana going crazy: Goldust
David Otunga v. John Cena
Apparently Otunga had no interest in this match, as he immediately makes a beeline towards the entrance ramp. Cena runs right after him, and brings him back to the ring. Cena hits a nice standing drop kick. Otunga is able to get back to his feet, and backs Cena into the corner.
Cena catches his wits and sets up for the moves of doom. Cena hits two shoulder blocks, followed by a side slam. Cena goes for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle, and connects. The Attitude Adjustment connects, but Cena isn’t quite done. Cena locks on the STF and Otunga taps.
Winner via STF: John Cena
In the back, Wade is talking with Otunga. He tells Otunga that he will have a match coming up against Edge. If Otunga loses, he is out of Nexus.
Tea Time with Santino
Santino and Vladimir Kozlov come down to the ring wearing suits and top hats. They even have umbrellas. In the ring, there is a table set up for a classic tea party. Santino talks about the UK, and then welcomes out Sheamus (or as Santino calls him Shay-moose).
Michael Cole points out that Santino is Italian, Kozlov is Russian, Sheamus is Irish, and we are in the UK. That’s a lot of multiculturalism.
Santino invites Sheamus to have a seat, and well, the three all take a seat. Shamus says that he thinks he got Santino all wrong. Santino is really a good guy.
I declare this my “youtube-it” segment of the night. Do it.
“We have Green Tea, Ginger Tea…and we also have an autographed picture of Mr.T!” – Santino
Santino says that Sheamus faults are probably for a couple of reasons. First, because he was the result of a genetic experiment, and second that he was excluded because he was a ginger. Santino says that he will not exclude Sheamus. Hence, the party. Sheamus says that Santino actually makes him laugh, and can’t remember why he even hates him. Santino can’t remember either. Kozlov chimes in and says it is because Santino beat him. A “Kozlov” chant breaks out.
Santino notices that Sheamus is low on tea and looks to give him some. His hand is shaking as he says that Sheamus is making him nervous. As expected, Santino drops the tea on Sheamus. As a result, Sheamus flips over the table.
And I quote…
The time for tea and crumpets has come to an end, it’s now time for action. Clear the ring, and clear Vlad from ringside as well. Santino is going 1 on 1 with Sheamus.
Santino v. Sheamus
“Folks you’re not going to want to miss this train wreck” – Michael Cole
Sheamus apparently had his ring gear on, under his suit. Santino runs out of the ring at the start of this match. Sheamus runs out after him, and Santino jumps the barricade. Santino says that he is not ready and needs to warm up. He starts doing some stretches.
And I quote…
Santino, you have two choices. Get back in the ring and compete, or be immediately suspended.
Santino contemplates his options, but ultimately gets into the ring. Santino starts to pump up the cobra, but Sheamus plows him over. Sheamus stomps on him as Santino pleads for a reprieve. Santino hits a low blow on Sheamus, causing the DQ.
Winner via DQ: Sheamus
After the match, Santino takes time to gloat and celebrate. Sheamus is not thrilled and is able to get to his feet and connect with a Brog kick. Sheamus then lifts him up into the air for the High Cross, but John Morrison runs down to make the save! Morrison connects with a flash kick and rescues Santino.
Wade is in the back with John Cena. He hands him a referee shirt and tells him to do his job right, or be a distant memory in the history of the WWE.
“Stand Up for the WWE” video package airs with second and third generation stars talking about growing up, and looking up to the company. That was really good, and might have gotten me a little bit emotional. But I won’t admit that.
Randy Orton, R-Truth, Daniel Bryan, Mark Henry & The Miz v. Nexus
Gabriel and Bryan start things off. Gabriel hits a spin kick, and tags in Michael. Miz hits a blind tag on Bryan and clotheslines Michael. Miz screams across the ring and connects with a splash. Miz goes for the cover, but Michael kicks out. Orton gets the tag.
Orton drops a knee on Michael, and then lifts him off the mat. Orton throws him into the corner and demands that Wade tag himself in. Wade does not, and instead sends in Slater. Poor Heath is met with a clothesline, and Orton tags in Truth.
Truth kicks Slater in the gut, and then dodges a splash in the corner. He hits a spinning heel kick and goes for the cover. Slater kicks out. Both teams spill into the ring and begin to brawl. Nexus falls out of the ring and tries to regroup.
Otunga walks down to the entrance ramp as we head to the final commercial break of the evening.
Gabriel and Truth are in the ring. Truth is pulled to the corner, and Husky Harris is tagged into the match. Truth runs for the tag and gets Mark Henry. Husky unloads with a series of punches, but just one from Henry drops him. Mark leaps for a running splash, but Husky moves out of the way. Husky charges to the corner, and splashes Henry. Michael is tagged in.
Harris chucks him towards Henry, but Henry moves out of the way. Bryan gets the tag. Bryan backs Michael into the corner, and then hits a series of kicks. Bryan hits a German Suplex, and then follows with a running dropkick. Cover attempt, but Michael kicks out. Michael is whipped into the ropes which allows a blind tag to Husky. Bryan locks the LeBelle on Michael, but Husky comes in to make the save. Bryan is turned inside out by a vicious clothesline.
Wade Barrett is finally tagged into the match. He goes for a cover, but Bryan kicks out. Bryan is whipped into the corner, and then hit with a backbreaker. Cover, but Bryan kicks out. Wade wrenches back on the arms of Bryan, placing his boot hard into his back.
Otunga comes down all the way to ringside, distracting Wade and Cena enough to make an impact. Slater runs in to help, but it was for naught as Bryan immediately sends him to the mat. Orton gets the tag from Bryan! Wade is met by Orton, who has one focus in his mind. He hits the suspended DDT on the #1 contender! Wade almost powers out after, but is met with a neckbreaker. Michael breaks the tag.
Truth runs into the ring for the save, but Gabriel hits him with a nice kick. Mark Henry comes in to take out the South African star. Husky and Michael throw Henry out of the ring. Bryan leaps from the top rope and connects with a double dropkick! This has cleared out the ring to where only Wade and Orton remain. Otunga tries to run into the ring, which catches Cena’s attention. Miz and Riley run into the ring. Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, and Riley assists with the briefcase. Wade picks up the win!
Winners via craziness: Team Nexus
Well, what to say about this one? RAW was a bit of a doozy tonight. I have no idea what I just watched, and yet a part of me really likes it. This was a really silly show, but it kind of worked. Anytime the WWE is in another country, you expect them to do something special. Not in terms of craziness necessarily, but in at least ensuring that the fans in attendance are treated to a spectacle. Tonight was certainly… a spectacle.
Last week I said I was confused by David Otunga’s character, I now realize why. He is being booked as being better than he actually is. That’s not a knock on the guy, he’s young; it’s just that I can’t buy the legitimacy of his character. The sophomoric elements of wanting to take over do make sense, but there is just something missing in the ring. If his skills were a bit sharper I honestly believe that he is the guy we would be talking about during the week. But, he’s not.
Tea Time with Santino worked well, maybe too well for my own comfort. The crowd actually started to cheer and applaud Santino during the skit. Even Santino was a bit taken aback by the reaction. The best part is, this wasn’t the funniest thing on TV this week which emanated from the UK. That honor goes to Wagner on X Factor. Good times.
Credit to @WWEFunnyQuotes on Twitter for keeping me entertained during the show. A lot of the quotes I featured in the recap came from their coverage. If you are wondering “why” I put in some quotes, I’d ask you “why not?”. I’m always up for trying new things, so yeah, there’s that.
I like Jerry Lawler, so don’t take this the wrong way, but I REALLY liked Josh & Cole together tonight. They have been a lot of fun on NXT, but tonight felt different. The two have really blended well and I’d personally like to see Josh on RAW from here on out. I feel like I’ve grown up with wrestling listening to Josh on Velocity, then ECW & NXT, and now tonight on RAW. I want him to find success, and I truly think that he will. Best of luck Josh!
For those wondering, King is suffering from an infection as a result of a knee injury. He is expected back as soon as possible.
Cena’s attitude tonight was hilarious. He has adapted a mentality of “whatever” and is clearly just waiting things out until after Survivor Series. It’s working.
Recapping two matches back to back in which there are twins was extremely frustrating. The Usos are slightly easier to tell apart then the Bellas. Slightly.
Overall, just a bizarre show tonight. I feel like the past month and a half has been bizarre. There are always enough segments to make the overall show feel sane, but man, out of context there is a lot of craziness going on right now.
I do read every single e-mail you guys send, and really appreciate hearing your thoughts. Send me some e-mails, and have a safe week everyone!
– David Stephens
Follow me on Twitter! @davewrestleview
So that’s RAW…. Love it? Hate it? Disagree with everything I said? Just want to chat wrestling? I’m always up for reading your thoughts and do my absolute best to reply to every message I get. Send them over to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. (there were a lot of great ones that I didn’t get a chance to respond to this past week, and I hope to reply to them this week so sorry if you were one of them!)
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