WWE Smackdown Results
May 24, 2013
Report by: Mike Tedesco of Wrestleview.com
“Then. Now. Forever.” The WWE video leads us into the show.
A video recaps Brock Lesnar defeating Triple H at Extreme Rules in a Cage Match before shifting focus to Paul Heyman’s new client, Curtis Axel. It then shows Triple H facing Axel in the Monday Night RAW main event. That match ended when Triple H, still suffering from the effects of Lesnar’s assault in the cage, couldn’t continue. The video then shifts focus to The Shield winning some championships at Extreme Rules. Dean Ambrose will defend his newly won WWE United States Championship against former champion Kofi Kingston tonight.
The Miz is out in the ring for a Miz TV segment. He welcomes the crowd to the most must-see WWE talk show in history. Miz says not only is he hosting this show, but also soon after he’ll win back the Intercontinental Championship. First, his guest has danced his way up the ladder in WWE. In his debut match at WrestleMania, he defeated Chris Jericho. He even has a dance named after him called “Fandangoing.” Miz then introduces Fandango, who comes out dancing with Summer Rae. Miz tries to suppress laughter as he watches their entrance.
Miz wants to talk about last Monday’s RAW, but Fandango cuts him off. Fandango says Miz is just like everyone else, and then he pronounces his name correctly. The Miz does his “really” shtick, and Fandango, completely oblivious to what is going on, incredulously keeps saying, “Yes.” Miz says whichever way you pronounce it, Fandango did something last Monday on RAW that no one in the history of WWE has ever done in a tag team match. A replay is then shown of Fandango dancing at ringside while leaving his partner, Wade Barrett, high and dry. Chris Jericho then scared off Fandango before dancing with Summer Rae and insulting her.
The Miz says Summer Rae sure looked stupid there. Miz says Fandango left Wade Barrett while he was dancing with Summer Rae. Fandango’s ego is more obnoxious than his name. Miz asks what kind of self-absorbed narcissist he is. Fandango says if anyone gets close to Summer again, he will dance all over their face. Now, if The Miz wants to talk to him about egos… The Miz says he knows all about egos, but he knows the difference between sports and entertainment. When the bell rings, it’s all about business. He doesn’t stand outside and look like a bag of Skittles dancing. Fandango does a fake laugh while the crowd chants, “Bag of Skittles!” The Miz congratulates Fandango on being the new Fruity Pebbles. Fandango says The Miz’ lecture bores him as well as The Miz himself. The Miz is just angry that he didn’t think of doing it first.
Wade Barrett’s music hits, and the WWE Intercontinental Champion comes out to the ring. Barrett says he wants a word with the two of them, but he’ll start off with the ballerina. Barrett says he doesn’t think he’s ever encountered a more pathetic, disrespectful waste of skin in his entire life. The only reason they lost on Monday was Fandango would rather “tiptoe through the tulips” than fight like a real man. If Fandango ever crosses his path again then he will smash all his teeth in, and he’ll make sure the whole world forgets the name of Fandango. Fandango then corrects him on how to say his name.
The Miz says if Barrett wants to talk about disrespectful then he’ll remind him that he’ll be defending his title against him. Miz reminds him that he beat him for the title at WrestleMania, and he forced him to tap out last Monday on RAW. Barrett then reminds him of something else, and he punches Miz in the face. They brawl in the ring until Barrett rolls out of the ring to recover. They’ll fight for the WWE Intercontinental Championship, next.
WWE Intercontinental Championship
The Miz vs. Wade Barrett (c)
The match is joined in progress as The Miz fights up from a Wade Barrett chin lock. Miz tries to elbow out, but Barrett knees him in the gut and goes for a neckbreaker. Miz counters the neckbreaker into a backslide pin for a two count. Fandango is on commentary for the match. He complains about having a hangnail before saying he left the match on Monday because he had to reapply his glitter. Barrett quickly gets up, and Miz catches him with a flapjack. Barrett ducks a clothesline, and he kicks Miz in the midsection. Barrett kicks him in the head before propping him up on the top turnbuckle midsection first. Barrett kicks him in the ribs before covering him for a two count. Barrett reapplies the chin lock. Miz fights up and tries to elbow out, but Barrett knees him. Barrett sends him into the ropes, misses a clothesline, and Miz hits a clothesline of his own. Miz hits a knee lift and a big boot.
Fandango’s music hits, and he dances with Summer Rae at ringside. Inside the ring, Barrett hits Miz with the Winds of Change for a near fall. Barrett goes for a pump-handle slam, but Miz counters into a roll-up for a near fall. Miz quickly kicks Barrett in the head before hitting a baseball slide on Fandango. Miz rolls up Barrett again for a near fall. Miz dropkicks Barrett in the knee before going for a Figure Four Leglock. Barrett kicks Miz off, and Fandango kicks Miz in the head.
Winner by Disqualification: The Miz
Wade Barrett retains the WWE Intercontinental Championship
Match Rating: *
Fandango and Barrett both double-team The Miz. Fandango dances before turning around into a Barrett Bull Hammer! Barrett talks a little trash before standing over both men with the WWE Intercontinental Championship. Barrett then leaves the ring.
Kane comes up to Daniel Bryan to remind him that they’re still a tag team. Kane says they both lost the Tag Team Championships. He lost on Monday night. Bryan says Kane is implying that he lost because he wasn’t there to help him. Bryan knows what he’s thinking, and he is not the weak link. Bryan then walks off.
Jack Swagger w/ Zeb Colter vs. Daniel Bryan w/ Kane
The bell rings, and Bryan immediately attacks Swagger with a forearm shot. Swagger quickly powers him to the corner, but Bryan punches out. Bryan goes for a roll-up, but Swagger hangs on to the ropes. Bryan quickly rebounds and clotheslines him over the top rope. Bryan then takes him out with a suicide dive. Bryan kicks away at his chest before throwing him into the ring. Bryan goes to the top rope and hits a missile dropkick for a near fall. Bryan hits the ropes, and Swagger takes him down with a clothesline. Swagger puts him in powerslam position, and he drives him into the corner, putting him into the Tree of Woe. Swagger kicks away at him before hitting an avalanche.
We come back from the break to see Bryan fight up from an arm bar. Swagger head-butts him into the corner and punches him down. Swagger sends him to the corner, but Bryan back flips over him and hits a flying elbow. Bryan hits a running dropkick in the corner, and he kicks him down. Bryan backs up and charges at him with another running dropkick for a near fall. Bryan kicks away at him until Swagger counters into a waistlock slam for a near fall. Swagger goes for the Gutwrench Powerbomb, but Bryan counters into a No! Lock attempt. Swagger then counters into a Patriot Lock, but Bryan counters that into a roll-up for a near fall. Swagger knees him in the midsection before attempting a Swagger Bomb, but Bryan gets his feet up, and he kicks Swagger in the face.
Bryan begins shaking his head no before holding his arms and stomping away at Swagger. Bryan then applies the No! Lock. Bryan really cinches it in before Swagger is forced to tap out.
Winner by Submission: Daniel Bryan
Match Rating: * 1/4
Bryan continues to hold the submission on after the bell rings, and Kane has to help pull him off. Bryan then does his “Yes” taunt. Bryan sees Swagger getting up before reapplying the No! Lock. Bryan screams that he’s not the weak link as he holds it on. Kane has to help pull him off again. Bryan then walks off on Kane.
We’ll take a look at the results of the Last Man Standing Match from Extreme Rules, next.
The RAW Rebound airs, and it features Ryback challenging John Cena to an Ambulance Match for the WWE Championship at WWE Payback.
Damien Sandow is in the ring with Matt Striker. Both are dressed in suits, and there is a beautiful conference table in the center of the ring. Sandow says for the last several weeks, he’s sat idly by and watched as two troglodytes disguised as WWE superstars engaged in a series of contests, each more half-witted and embarrassing than the last. A tug-of-war, arm wrestling, and a truck pull. The only thing worse than that is the fans seem to be amused by it. Sandow says this is something he calls appealing to the lowest common denominator. Sandow demands silence before continuing on. Sandow doubts there are any mathletes in the crowd, but he will say this. The true measure of a man is not in his feats of physical strength but in his ability to deal with mental challenges. Sandow goes to ask a question, but then stops to tell the tale of the Gordian Knot. The knot is displayed on the center of the table. The tale is about a peasant farmer named Gordian who tied his ox to a tree using a knot so complicated that it was said no man could untie it. A prophecy states that any man who could untie the Gordian Knot would rule all of Asia.
Sandow turns to Matt Striker, and he mentions that he was a former teacher, albeit a substitute teacher. Barring his shortcomings, he proposes that Striker accept the challenge and attempt to untie the Gordian Knot. Striker picks up the knot and fumbles around with it, but he cannot. Sandow says he just renewed his “idiot license” as well as embarrassing the entire substitute teachers’ union of America. Sandow claims to have found the problem in the American education system.
Sheamus’ music hits, and he comes out to the ring smiling. Sheamus says he wants to be honest. From one man to another, he finds it troubling that he spends his time playing with knots. Sheamus says Sandow needs to get a social life or a girlfriend. Sandow warns him to leave his personal life out of this. Sheamus says he doesn’t want to know the weird stuff he does in his spare time. Sheamus says when he was a kid, he used to play with (and sometimes break) Rubik’s Cubes. Since Sandow called him a troglodyte, he would like to prove him wrong by solving the puzzle of the Gordian Knot. Sandow says if Sheamus thinks his troubled childhood gives him the credentials to solve the riddle of the Gordian Knot, then so be it. Sheamus picks up the knot and pulls at it, and Sandow tries to intervene to help. Sheamus tells him to relax. Sandow then grabs it away, and he wants to untie it himself. Sandow asks for silence before attempting the endeavor. Sandow puts it down and grabs a bolt cutter. Sandow then cuts it and holds it up. Sandow holds it over his shoulder before saying, “You’re welcome.”
Sheamus congratulates him on getting him. Sheamus says he’ll be the bigger man and say that Sandow is the better man. Sheamus says he’ll congratulate him right now. Sandow immediately dodges a Brogue Kick. Sandow says he knew it. He knew Sheamus would resort to brute force when he couldn’t meet the mental challenge. Sheamus could never meet his mental challenge. Considering he’s out here with the WWE Universe, at least he’s not alone. Sheamus asks Matt Striker to come up to him. Sheamus says he’s always open to learning new things. That’s how you advance in life. Sheamus wants to teach him about Newton’s Law. Sandow says he knows that law. Sheamus then kicks the knot at him before throwing Striker into him, knocking him over. Sheamus says, “What goes up must come down!” Sandow angrily looks at him before walking off.
Chris Jericho will take on the Big Show, next.
Chris Jericho vs. Big Show
Big Show tries to corner Jericho, so Jericho starts punching away at him. Big Show pushes him off before clubbing him down. Big Show head-butts him down before chopping away at his chest. Big Show continues to club away at him before hitting a body shot. Jericho tries to punch back before hitting the ropes and running into a bear hug. Jericho punches out of the hold, but Big Show stops the momentum with a punch to the ribs. Big Show runs into Jericho’s boots, and Jericho takes him down with a dropkick to the knee. Jericho kicks away at him, keeping him grounded. Jericho hits the ropes, and Big Show spears him down for a near fall. Big Show signals for a Chokeslam, but Jericho elbows out. Big Show pushes him to the corner, but he misses an avalanche. Jericho then jumps off the top rope into a chop to the chest. Big Show goes to the second rope for an elbow drop, but Jericho rolls out of the way. Jericho hits the Lionsault for a near fall. Jericho goes for the Codebreaker, but Big Show holds him up. Jericho tries for a roll-up, but Big Show picks him up. Jericho then counters into a DDT for a near fall.
Jericho kicks him in the head before attempting the Walls of Jericho. Jericho nearly gets him turned, but Big Show kicks him off. Jericho then runs into a Chokeslam. Jericho rolls out of the ring, and Big Show has to go outside to retrieve him. Big Show puts him on his shoulder and goes to throw him into the ring post, but Jericho slides off and shoves him into it. Jericho hits a Codebreaker, and Big Show falls into the timekeeper’s area! Jericho gets into the ring, and Big Show gets counted out!
Winner by Count-Out: Chris Jericho
Match Rating: * 1/4
Big Show is angry, and he grabs a steel chair. Jericho quickly dropkicks it into Big Show as he gets in the ring. Jericho then nails him in the midsection before cracking it off his back. Big Show retreats, and Jericho stands tall in the ring with the chair.
We’ll hear an update on Triple H’s condition, next.
A video recaps Paul Heyman introducing his newest client, Curtis Axel, the former Michael McGillicutty. It then shows Triple H challenging him to a match. Triple H said he would beat Axel and then go after Heyman. In the main event, Triple H was unable to continue the match after collapsing at ringside as he was still feeling the effects of his match against Brock Lesnar.
Michael Cole says Triple H was suffering from post-concussion syndrome so he’ll be out of action for some time.
Curtis Axel’s music hits, and he makes his way to the ring with his manager, Paul Heyman. Heyman reminds the crowd of his name, and he serves as the humble visionary known around the world as the advocate for the beast incarnate, Brock Lesnar. An a-lister and first ballot WWE Hall of Famer. He’s also credited as being the architect behind the greatest title reign of the past twenty-five years. The 434-consecutive days enjoyed as the reigning, defending WWE Champion in CM Punk. Heyman asks if they see the pattern. He is the most exclusive manager, agent, and advocate in history. He managed two of the three main events at this year’s WrestleMania, something no one else had ever done before. So when he points his finger at someone and says, “That’s the next WrestleMania main event and a-lister.” You can invest your money in that stock because he’s invested his money in a stock. That stock will forever be known as Curtis Axel. The reason why they boo is because of what he did to Triple H. Heyman stops, and he says he doesn’t want to brag about what his client did on Monday. So they know it’s the truth, he’ll let his client tell us himself.
Axel takes the microphone, and he says his name for the world to hear. In one day, he’s accomplished more than his father and grandfather ever did in their entire careers combined. He got up in Triple H’s face and took his best shot before leaving him lying dazed and confused. Axel says the record books will show that the winner of the match was Curtis Axel. Heyman claps enthusiastically for him. Axel says that was just day one in building the brand of Curtis Axel.
Curtis Axel will be in action, next.
Curtis Axel w/ Paul Heyman vs. Sin Cara
They circle the ring and lock up. Axel takes him down with a fireman’s carry before high-fiving Heyman. They circle the ring again, and Cara applies a waistlock. Axel elbows him in the face before taking him down with a waistlock slam. Cara gets to his feet, and Axel goes for another fireman’s carry. Cara lands on his feet, but Axel quickly takes him down with a drop-toe-hold. Axel slaps him in the head a few times while talking trash. Cara kicks away at him before hitting the ropes. Cara ducks a clothesline and hits a running hurricanrana. Cara hits a top rope twisting arm drag. Cara charges Axel, who puts him on the apron. Axel elbows him down before kicking away at him. Axel puts him in the corner and continues to kick away at him. Axel pushes him into the ropes before hitting a picture-perfect dropkick. Axel punches him before applying a chin lock. Cara fights up and elbows out. Axel counters a whip, but Cara comes right back with a springboard back elbow. Cara quickly follows up with a springboard cross-body for a two count. Cara kicks him in the face before going to the top rope. Axel ducks a cross-body block before hitting the McGillicutter (that name will definitely be changed) for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Curtis Axel
Match Rating: 1/2 *
Dean Ambrose will defend his WWE United States Championship against Kofi Kingston, next.
WWE United States Championship
Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose (c)
Charles Robinson, my favorite referee of all time, is the official for this match. They lock up, and they tussle around for position. Kingston gives a clean break before kicking away at him. Ambrose knees him before hitting a shoulder block. Ambrose hits the ropes and stops before Kingston can hit him with a forearm. Ambrose then runs into a dropkick for a one count. Kingston uppercuts him before having a whip to the corner reversed. Ambrose drops an elbow for a one count. Ambrose hits him with a straight right hand before choking him with his shinbone. Ambrose goes for a suplex, but Kingston counters into a roll-up for a one count. Kingston elbows him before hitting a pair of chops and a dropkick. Ambrose sidesteps a clothesline and kicks him in the face. Kingston comes right back with a boot, and he splashes Ambrose as he’s hunched over for a near fall.
Kingston heads to the top rope, but Ambrose cuts him off. Ambrose goes for a superplex, but Kingston punches him off. Kingston the kicks Seth Rollins in the face as he was coming to interfere through the crowd. Kingston then leaps off the top rope to the outside with a flying clothesline on Roman Reigns! Kingston gets in the ring, and he shoulders Ambrose. Kingston then has to turn his attention to Rollins as he tries to enter.
Winner by Disqualification: Kofi Kingston
Dean Ambrose retains the WWE United States Championship
Match Rating: *
The Shield goes to triple-team Kingston until Randy Orton’s music hits, and he runs down to the ring to try and help out. Orton holds his own for a moment before being overwhelmed. Sheamus’ music then hits, and the odds are evened. The Shield bails out of the ring as Teddy Long’s music hits. Long says this show isn’t going to end like that. Since they’re already out there, we’re going to have a six-man tag team match right now!
Kofi Kingston, Randy Orton, and Sheamus vs. The Shield
We join the match in progress as Roman Reigns punches Sheamus in the midsection. Reigns sends him into the ropes, but Sheamus is able to counter his hip toss attempt. Reigns ducks a short-arm clothesline and hits the ropes, but Sheamus catches him with a powerslam for a near fall. Reigns elbows him in the face and tags in Seth Rollins. Rollins runs into a hip toss, and Randy Orton is tagged in. Orton kicks him in the midsection before head-butting him. Orton punches away at him in the corner before hitting an uppercut for a one count. Orton wrenches the arm before tagging in Kingston. Kingston kicks away at him before hitting a spinning kick for a one count. Kingston applies an overhead wristlock, but Rollins fights up. Kingston quickly takes him down with a leg sweep before hitting a springboard body splash for a two count.
Orton is tagged back in, and he dropkicks Rollins down for a two count. Rollins quickly comes back with a jawbreaker. Ambrose is tagged in, and he runs into a clothesline. Orton hits a suplex before raking his face on his knee pad. Orton stomps the hand and hits an uppercut before tagging Sheamus in. Sheamus stomps away at Ambrose in his corner before hitting a neckbreaker for a one count. Ambrose punches away at him before tagging Rollins in. Rollins punches away at Sheamus before being admonished by the referee. Sheamus comes back with some punches before running into a back elbow. Rollins jumps off the second rope, but Sheamus catches him. Sheamus tries for a powerslam, but Rollins slides to the apron. Sheamus goes for his clubbing forearms to the chest, but the rest of The Shield pulls Rollins away from that. The Shield regroups at ringside as we go to commercial.
We come back from the break to see Sheamus trapped in a submission hold. Sheamus fights out, but Ambrose knees him in the midsection. Reigns is tagged in, and he takes Sheamus down with one right hand. Reigns talks a little trash before Sheamus begins fighting back. Sheamus punches Ambrose and Rollins off the apron before sidestepping Reigns, allowing him to hit the ring post shoulder first.
Orton and Rollins tag in. Orton hits a pair of clotheslines before hitting his beautiful powerslam. Orton then catches Ambrose attempting to interfere with a powerslam. Orton then drops Rollins with a hanging DDT. Orton drops down for an RKO, but Rollins gets out of the ring. Orton goes to grab him, but Reigns punches him in the head. Rollins rolls back into the ring, and he’s looking for a count-out. Orton rolls in for a one count. Rollins punches away at him before tagging in Ambrose. They execute a wishbone split before Ambrose concentrates on the midsection. Reigns may have tweaked his ankle during the last exchange. Ambrose applies a front face lock before punching Orton down as he tried to come back. Ambrose drops an elbow for a two count. Rollins tags in, and he clubs the back. Rollins talks some trash as he punches away at Orton. The referee backs him up, and Orton kicks him in the midsection. Rollins counters a clothesline into a reverse STO into the turnbuckle. Rollins goes to the top rope and pulls Orton up. Orton counters that into his father’s old finisher, the superplex.
Sheamus and Ambrose are tagged in. Sheamus hits a pair of forearms before tackling Reigns into the corner. Sheamus tackles Ambrose into the corner before hitting a knee lift and a rolling fireman’s carry. Sheamus then immediately transitions into hitting Rollins with the clubbing forearms to the chest. Sheamus turns around to clothesline Ambrose before he drops Rollins with a Brogue Kick! Sheamus goes for White Noise on Ambrose, but Reigns spears him down! Reigns rolls out of the ring, and Orton drops him with an RKO at ringside! Sheamus tags Kingston in, and he hits a springboard cross-body for a near fall! Kingston can’t believe it. Kingston goes for Trouble in Paradise, but Rollins grabs his leg. Ambrose then hits a front dropkick before hitting the Headlock Driver for the win!
Winners by Pinfall: The Shield
Match Rating: *** 1/4
The Shield celebrates in the ring with all of their championship gold. They stand united in the ring as Smackdown comes to an end.
Quick Match Results
The Miz def. Wade Barrett via DQ (WWE Intercontinental Championship)
Daniel Bryan def. Jack Swagger via Submission
Chris Jericho def. Big Show via CO
Curtis Axel def. Sin Cara
Kofi Kingston def. Dean Ambrose via DQ (WWE United States Championship)
The Shield def. Kofi Kingston, Randy Orton, and Sheamus
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