Are you ready? Then stop questioning your heart and join me, because it is time for Monday Night RAW!
The show kicks off with a video package highlighting the career and final match of Shawn Michaels. The Heartbreak Kid will be giving a farewell address later tonight.
Batista’s music hits and he saunters out to the ring. He grabs the microphone and says that in one month, nobody will even remember what happened at Wrestlemania. Batista calls last night a ?fluke?. Batista is adamant in exclaiming that regardless of what happened last night, John Cena cannot beat him.
Cena?s music hits, and the Champ makes his way down to the ring. Cena says that Batista must have missed Wrestlemania, because he DID beat Batista. Cena puts over the fact that he made Batista tap out. The crowd joins in with a ?you tapped out? chant. Cena says that if Batista wants his rematch, then he should fight him tonight! Cena acknowledges that like so many in the past, Batista will undoubtedly so no. Batista says, ?not tonight?. Batista hits a cheap shot on Cena, but Cena fires right back and knocks him out of the ring.
Out of nowhere comes Jack Swagger! He runs in the ring and starts to attack John Cena with the briefcase! Swagger runs over to ringside and calls for a referee and says he wants to cash in the Money in the Bank! Swagger gets back in the ring, but Cena springs to life and starts to go after Jack. Swagger bails, grabs his briefcase and bails! The match never officially started, so Swagger?s right to cash in the case remains.
I.R.S., Pat Patterson, Ted Dibiase, Ricky ?The Dragon? Steamboat, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Anderson, Sgt. Slaughter, Nick Bockwinkel, and a couple others (sorry they came out to fast and I don?t recognize some of them out of their ring gear). Tonight?s guest hosts (cast of Hot Tub Time Machine) make their way out to the entrance ramp to explain what is going on. They explain that the reason all of these 80s legends are around the ring is because in their movie, they travel back to the 1980s. They have thus made a legends lumberjack match. They also announce that tonight?s main event is Batista & Jack Swagger v. John Cena & a partner of his choosing.
Legends Lumberjack Match
Christian v. Ted Dibiase
We come back from commercial and this match is already underway. Ted Dibiase kicks Christian in the head and goes for the cover, Christian kicks out. Dibiase then sets in with a rear headlock. Christian escapes and scales to the second rope. He leaps and connects for a missile dropkick. Christian goes for the cover, but Dibiase kicks out. Christian looks to head up for the dropkick again, but this time Dibiase counters and looks for Dream Street. Christian counters with his pendulum kick in the corner. Christian is going for the Killswitch, but Dibiase counters and hits a clothesline. Both men go crashing out of the ring. The legends throw both men back in, but Ted Dibiase Sr. takes exception to some of the legends touching his son. A scuffle appears to break out on the outside. Back in the ring Christian hits the Killswitch and picks up the victory.
Winner via Killswitch: Christian
After the match Dibiase Sr. tries to comfort his son, but Jr. brushes him off and heads to the back.
Shawn Michaels video package airs.
In the back we see HHH who is preparing to head out to the ring to address the crowd
In the back the two hosts representing Hot Tub Time Machine are in robes. One says to the other that they were able to get rid of their co-star Robinson, but what about John Cusack? (yeah, that?s only one I?d like to see, not these two chums whose names I have to look up) Santino enters the room holding something above his head and says, ?Don?t worry about Cusack?.
Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Rosa Mendes & Tiffany are in a hot tub, and it seems as though the ?Hot Tub? match has started. The hosts enter and then grab champagne glasses and passes it out to the Divas. They say there might not even be a winner (the fans? reaction certainly agrees).
HHH delivers a message to the audience. He puts over Shawn, and their partnership over the years. Hunter is very emotional, before he can finish his thoughts, Sheamus comes out of nowhere with a steel pipe and takes out HHH!
Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Eve, Gail Kim & Beth Phoenix vs. WWE Women’s Champion Michelle McCool, WWE Divas Champion Maryse, Layla, Alicia Fox & Vickie Guerrero
Eve rolls up Maryse and this match is over only 5 seconds after it starts.
Winners via rollup: Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Eve, Gail Kim & Beth Phoenix
After the match the heel Divas run back into the ring and all hell breaks loose. The faces kick them out and celebrate their victory.
Shawn Michaels Video Package airs
In the back, Bret ?The Hitman? Hart is seen preparing to address the crowd. It?s up next!
Shawn Michaels Video Package airs
Bret ?The Hitman? Hart makes his way out to the ring to address the fans in attendance. Hart starts by applauding Shawn Michaels for an epic storybook career. Hart puts him over as an amazing performer. Hart says that by beating the ?holy hell? out of Vince last night, he finally found the closure he spent 13 years searching for to end this feud. Bret says that he knows his mom, dad, and Owen are looking down from above and offering their high fives. The crowd starts an ?Owen? chant. Bret shows that he is wearing a T-Shirt featuring both himself and Owen. Bret thanks the crowd, and wishes everyone the best.
As Bret is looking to leave, The music of the Unified Tag Team Champions hits and The Miz and Big Show head down to the ringside area. The Miz says that Bret came back and he beat Vince in a glorified 25 on 1 handicap match. The Miz says that by Bret coming out to offer his moment of closure with the audience, he is stealing The Miz?s time.
The Miz says that Bret Hart is the most overrated wrestler there is, was, and ever will be. The Miz tells Bret to get out of the ring before, ?his fist gives him closure?. Bret says that if The Miz wants him to leave, how about he try and make him. The Miz looks to make a move, but The Big Show holds him back and looks to take care of business himself. The all-too familiar Hart music hits, and The Hart Dynasty makes their way out to the ring!!
The Miz and Big Show bail and look to head to the back. Bret grabs a mic and stops them. He calls them back to the ring, and tells them to come and take on the Hart Dynasty! The Champs look like they accept, and this match is up next!
The Miz & Big Show v. The Hart Dynasty (David Hart Smith & Tyson Kidd w/ Natalya)
When we come back from commercial, the match is already underway. Smith has The Miz lifted in a beautiful vertical suplex. Smith goes for the cover, but Miz kicks out. Miz rolls to the outside of the ring, but THD is not going to allow him to catch his breath. David grabs Tyson and throws him outside via a very sweet looking flip.
The Miz runs around the ring, and tags in Big Show. Tyson goes right after him, but the size advantage is clearly in favor of the giant. The Big Show eventually grabs Kidd and puts him in a headlock. Tyson looks to be in a bad position, but The Miz decides to tag himself into the match. This allows Tyson to escape and tag in David!
Smith comes soaring into the ring and lays out the Miz. He cleans house, and then tags in Tyson once again. Smith lifts Miz into the air, and Tyson hits the Hart Attack from the apron via a springboard! Wow! Tyson has Miz in the center of the ring, and puts him in the Sharpshooter! The Big Show lets Miz feel it for a bit, and then pulls him out of the ring. Both Miz & Big Show head back up the ramp, which results in a count out.
Winners via Count-Out: The Hart Dynasty
After the match, The Hart Dynasty celebrates their win in the ring with Bret.
Shawn Michaels Video Package airs
Craig Robinson is on the screen, and he is a bit upset that he is not at RAW due to a ticket issue that he believes the two guest hosts in attendance caused.
Mark Henry is in a Speedo(!) and he enters the hot tub. That?s fantastic. The hosts try and leave, but Henry grabs them and say that they are going to ?enjoy this?. One of the hosts yell that something bit him! From the depths of the hot tub emerges Hornswoggle. The maniacal little man is laughing as Mark Henry just shakes his head in amusement.
Jack Swagger makes his way out to the ring, and takes a moment to put himself over.
Jack Swagger & Batista v. John Cena & ???
John Cena?s mystery partner is revealed as? RANDY ORTON!
The match starts off with John Cena and Jack Swagger in the ring. Cena quickly takes the advantage and tags in Randy Orton. Orton rushes into the ring and lays out Swagger and hits him with a scoop slam. Randy looks to be tuning up for the RKO, but Swagger bails and heads to the outside of the ring as we go to commercial.
We come back and it is John Cena and Jack Swagger in the ring. Swagger lifts Cena into the air for a side slam. He goes for a pin, but Cena kicks out. Swagger bounces off the second rope for a splash, and connects. Jack heads to his corner and tags in The Animal. Cena is whipped hard into the turnbuckle. Batista hits a snapmare, and then kicks Cena straight in the skull. He goes for the cover, but Cena kicks out.
Cena is back to his feet and connects with a couple of punches. He looks to continue his momentum and bounces off the ropes. Batista catches him with a Spinebuster! Batista has Cena set up for the Batista Bomb, but Cena counters. Cena gets to his corner and brings in Orton on the hot tag! Batista brings in Swagger!
Randy Orton takes out Swagger and goes for the cover. Batista comes in to make the save. Cena tries to clear him out of the ring, but Batista connects with a spear. Orton catches Batista with an RKO out of nowhere! He follows up with another RKO on Jack Swagger and scores the pinfall!
Winners via RKO: Randy Orton & John Cena
Shawn Michaels Video Package airs
Shawn Michaels? music hits and he makes his way down to the ring. Before he speaks, the music of the Deadman hits and he comes out onto the entrance ramp. The Undertaker tips his hat to HBK to pay respect, and then leaves.
Shawn picks up the microphone, and thanks the fans for their dedication to him over his career in the WWE. Shawn says that there were times when the WWE fans were the only people who made him like himself. He thanks Hunter for being his friend, even when most people didn?t want to be near him. Shawn admits that there were periods where he was very difficult to get along with. He thanks Hunter for never leaving his side, and sharing a real friendship. Shawn thanks all of the production staff down to the guys holding the cameras. He thanks Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and ?the greatest commentator of all time? Jim Ross.
Shawn admirably puts over a man named Adam who is instrumental in putting together the video packages which make him look like a superstar. Michaels says that he knows how a lot of people feel about career ending matches, and that there is a lot of skepticism. However, he does not want to go back on his word to the fans, and to The Undertaker. Shawn says that he tries to be as open with the audience as possible, because it is easiest to be who he really is. He appreciates the chants for ?one more match?, but he intends to keep his word and do everything in his power to make sure that doesn?t happen.
Shawn thanks Bret Hart. By now, the tears are clearly streaming down his face. Michaels says that he can?t describe how crazy he drove Hart back in the 1990s. Michaels says that everything Bret said, he was entitled to say. He thanks Bret and is glad to be able to finally find closure from that horrific chapter.
Shawn thanks Vince McMahon. He says that there is no way he would ever be able to work with anyone else after having worked for Vince. He says that the one person he drove more nuts than Bret, was Vince. Shawn thanks him for the huge opportunity of being in the WWE. He thanks Vince for keeping him from making even bigger mistakes than he committed in his younger years. He thanks Vince for putting up with him.
Finally, Shawn takes a moment to thank Jesus Christ for saving his soul. He acknowledges his wife and daughters and says that he is coming home. He says that, ?Ladies and Gentlemen the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels has left the building?.
Shawn waves to the audience and then heads to the back. He gives one last wave goodbye to the fans. Hunter comes out onto the entrance ramp and hugs him. He takes two DX glow sticks and lays them on the ground in the shape of an X as we go off the air.
RAW tonight was only one day removed from an absolutely stellar Wrestlemania. I?m not going to go too in-depth, as I?m going to focus on RAW, but I just have to tip my hat to everyone involved in the WWE from the roster to the production staff. I know that I tend to have a more positive spin than most, but I find it impossible to not appreciate what happened last night. As a fan of this crazy business, I was ENTERTAINED last night. In my mind, that?s exactly what I want to get out of Sports Entertainment, and I have no complaints.
I really liked the opening segment between Batista and Cena tonight. My only grievance being that Batista came off a bit like a baby. However, he does kind of work as a whiny heel so I?m interested to see this play out. I have to give a ton of credit to the direction they are headed with Jack Swagger. I honestly thought that he was going to cash it in and lose the match. I?m glad that he intelligently got out of the ring and lives to fight another day.
So let?s talk about tonight?s guest hosts (Rob Corddry and Clark Duke). I have to say this is the first time in awhile that I have been really disappointed with the selection. Even when certain hosts haven?t been stellar I blamed it more on the WWE booking than anything else. But these two guys were just really awkward, and clearly out of their element. Speaking of which, where the heck was John Cusack? If I want to see any cast member of that movie, I want to see him! I was actually interested in seeing this movie before tonight, not so much anymore.
As for the match Legends Lumberjack Match, I?m not so sure. It was a cool concept, but it left me just very confused and befuddled.
That segment in the back was just horrible in the hot tub. I?m sorry I just don?t get it. It does not even slightly entertain me. I?ve gone from nonchalance to really disliking these two guys and their hosting attempt tonight. I apologize for my negativity, because I always try my absolute best to view things in a positive light in regards to wrestling. Watching Rob Corddry and Clark Duke is honestly making me wish I wasn?t recapping so that I can change the channel. In two years of recapping for WrestleView I?ve never truly felt that way before.
This was followed up by a ?Wrestlemania Rematch? as all 10 divas faced off once again in the ring. It ended immediately with a roll-up which was really good for pushing the storyline forward because?. And it was really valuable in getting over?. Plus I liked how it furthered the career of?.
If I could answer just ONE of these things, maybe I wouldn?t be shaking my head and trying to figure out what the hell was going on tonight.
At least things started to get back on track with Bret Hart?s appearance. I actually did kind of like the match last night. I know it wasn?t picture perfect, but it had some elements that I did enjoy. In particular, I LOVED the inclusion of The Hart Dynasty in the match. Seeing how that played out tonight, has me very excited. I?m a big fan of The Hart Dynasty, and in particular Tyson Kidd. I?ve long said that he may be pound for pound the best wrestler in all of the WWE, and I still believe that it is true. I was starting to get antsy in wondering why they had not been involved in the feud, because it seemed like they were missing a great opportunity. Well tonight, it all started to come to fruition. I really like this team, and I?m rooting for them to win the Unified Tag Team Titles.
I have a belief that the comedic efforts of Hornswoggle and Mark Henry can save nearly any segment. Tonight, they somehow made me enjoy the segment with the guest hosts in the hot tub. Man, I love Henry, and Hornswoggle never fails to make me laugh. Best part of the night in my opinion. (ok, maybe a stretch considering the historic ramifications of the night, but it certainly kept me very entertained)
Well, it finally happened. Randy Orton has completed his face turn. After last night, it was inevitable. I actually think that the plan was originally to have Dibiase make the turn, but the audience seems to have dictated this progression. His first run as a face didn?t work, but it just may be time to give it another go. Let?s see what happens!
Finally, we had the Shawn Michaels Farewell Address. There is really nothing that I can say to add or diminish to a very well done segment. From my perspective it seemed genuine. I haven?t always agreed with Shawn, but I thoroughly appreciate his contributions to this business. It was a very powerful, and emotional send-off.
Thank you, Shawn.
Match of the Night
3 Month Rolling Rankings (We?ll get there!); WWE Title Win 7, WWE Title Loss 6, Undercard Title Win 5, Undercard Title Loss 4, RAW Win 3, RAW Loss 2, RAW Appearance 1, PPV WWE Title Win 14, PPV WWE Title Loss 12, PPV Undercard Title Win 10, PPV Undercard Title Loss 8, PPV Win 6, PPV Loss 4, PPV Appearance 2.
February 22nd ? March 29th 2010
1. Big Show ? 28 pts. [lw 1]
2. John Cena ? 26 pts. [lw 7]
2. The Miz ? 26 pts. [lw 2]
4. Randy Orton ? 20 pts. [lw 4]
5. Shawn Michaels ? 17 pts. [lw 3]
5. Ted Dibiase ? 17 pts. [lw 4]
7. HHH ? 16 pts. [lw 7]
8. Jack Swagger ? 15 pts. [lw NA]
9. Cody Rhodes ? 14 pts. [lw 6]
10. Kofi Kingston ? 13 pts. [lw NA]
1. Maryse ? 23 pts. [lw 1]
2.Gail Kim ? 20 pts. [lw 2]
3. Kelly Kelly ? 17 pts. [lw 3]
4. Eve Torres ? 17 pts. [lw 4]
5. Alicia Fox ? 14 pts. [lw 5]
6. Jillian ? 4 pts. [lw 6]
7. Brie Bella ? 4 pts. [lw 7]
7. Nikki Bella ? 4 pts. [lw 7]
9. Katie Lea ? 3 pts. [lw 7]
So that?s RAW?. Love it? Hate it? Disagree with everything I said? Just want to chat wrestling? I?m always up for reading your thoughts and do my absolute best to reply to every message I get. Send them over to me at [email protected]
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