Are you ready? Then stop questioning your heart and join me, because it is time for Monday Night RAW!
The show kicks off with Batista making his way out to the ring, with a lone spotlight shining upon his body. He puts over the fact that last week he earned the opportunity as the #1 Contender for the WWE Championship. He says that should not even be the case, because he should already be the Champ. He then asks the crowd if they know what a Last Man Standing match entails. Apparently he feels the crowd doesn’t, so he explains it to them s-l-o-w-l-y.
Batista continues on with his whining by complaining about the fact that he lost that match via Cena’s controversial use of duct tape. A mild “Cena” chant starts up in the crowd. Batista gives a shout out to my boy Hornswoggle, by saying that duct tape is what the little Irish man would have done. Bats goes on to complain about the fact that there is a beat the clock challenge between Cena and himself tonight. Batista calls out his opponent, The Miz.
Instead of The Miz, Sheamus’ music hits and he makes his way out to the ring. Sheamus puts him down for losing at Extreme Rules. Sheamus puts himself over for winning HIS match at the PPV. He believes that despite losing the #1 Contenders match against Batista and Orton last week, he should still have the shot at the Title. He challenges Batista to a singles match tonight for the slot. Batista declines, citing his failure last week. The crowd is absolutely dead.
The Miz makes his way out to the ring, but is not in ring gear. Instead, he says that he wants to give Batista the match he deserves against a high caliber opponent, but unfortunately he is injured. The Miz holds up a “doctor’s note”, and says he has a “legitimate professional excuse note”. Miz says that he has the perfect opponent – his NXT Rookie Daniel Bryan!
The Miz tells the 0-9 Rookie to actually put up a good effort tonight. Bryan says he will do him one better, and make Batista tap out!
Beat the Clock Challenge
Daniel Bryan v. Batista
The match starts with Batista looking for a quick power bomb. Bryan scurries out of it and goes for a quick roll up. Batista kicks out. Daniel then locks on the ankle lock, and Batista is forced to bail to the outside of the ring to catch his breath. Back in the ring, Daniel locks on a sleeper hold. Batista is able to back Bryan into the corner and hit him with a splash. This looks to be a momentum changer.
Batista follows with a kick to the face, and then whips Daniel Bryan hard into the turnbuckle. Bryan follows up again, but this time Bryan counters with a front facing Dragon Sleeper. Batista throws him over head to break the hold. Batista goes for the cover, but Bryan kicks out. Batista chucks Bryan to the outside of the ring.
Batista lifts Bryan into the air and slams him back first onto the edge of the apron. Batista slides him back into the ring, and hits him with a vicious clothesline. Daniel kicks out. Batista lifts him off the mat, and Bryan connects with a series of punches and then a kick to the head. Batista shakes it off, and hits a boot to the face. Batista goes for the cover, but Daniel kicks out.
Batista picks Bryan up, but Daniel is able to connect with a series of punches. Daniel takes Batista down to the mat and tries to lock on an arm bar. He continues through and turns it into a crossface! Batista may tap out! Batista manages to just barely make it to the ropes. Batista gets back to his feet and connects with a spear. He follows with a Power Bomb and picks up the victory.
Winner via Batista Bomb: Batista
Time to Beat: 5:06
After the match, Batista hits another power bomb for good measure. Batista then looks to head back up the ramp, but stops and re-enters the ring. He hits a third Batista Bomb.
We head to the back where Eve Torres is doing a photo shoot with her new Title. Wayne Brady comes into the shot to congratulate her. Jillian Hall comes into the frame, and offers to sing Wayne Brady’s theme when he goes to the ring. He says that he wasn’t planning on having someone sing it, but asks her to give it a shot. She starts to “sing”. Wayne cleverly escorts her to the outside.
Eve turns to continue her photo shoot, but her Title is missing. While she is looking for it, Maryse charges in and clocks her with the Title! Maryse smirks to herself as she walks off with the Title.
Edge is in the back and is talking with a production assistant regarding the return of the “Cutting Edge” with special guest Randy Orton tonight. Edge is frustrated that he can’t show certain clips due to the now PG nature of the WWE. Josh Mathews comes into the shot to ask Edge what he will doing on his talk show tonight. Edge says that the WWE may be PG, but he is Rated R. Edge says that it is time for another era of controversy in the WWE.
Ted Dibiase makes his way down to the ring. Dibiase grabs the microphone and talks about the encounter between R-Truth and himself last week. He thinks that R-Truth would have been smart to accept his offer. He says that in the interest of R-Truth’s future, he should have taken the job. Ted notes that he doesn’t have much of a career as he only has one song, and it sucks.
Ted Dibiase v. John Morrison
Dibiase takes it right to Morrison with a series of punches which send him to the mat. He whips Morrison into the ropes, but is hit with a spinning boot. Morrison follows up with an elbow, and then clotheslines Dibiase to the outside of the ring. Morrison heads to the side of the ring, and hits a springboard 450 splash to the outside! The crowd starts a “that was awesome” chant. Morrison heads back into the ring, but Ted does not follow. Dibiase lets the count reach ten, and heads to the back.
Morrison grabs the microphone, and demands that the match be restarted and pleads for Ted to come back to the ring. Dibiase pauses, but continues to leave. Morrison stops him again, and says that he knows what Ted wants. John says that if Ted comes back to the ring and restarts the match, if Morrison loses, he will become Dibiase’s Virgil. Ted looks to accept as we head to commercial.
We are back as Dibiase has Morrison in a leg scissors hold. Morrison tries to fight out, but Dibiase goes for the cover. Morrison kicks out. Ted lifts Morrison into the air and slams him stomach first on the top rope. He goes for the cover, but John kicks. Ted nails him in the gut with a kick and goes for another cover, but Morrison kicks out.
Dibiase lifts him off the mat and connects with a punch. Ted takes a moment to taunt the crowd. He goes for another punch, but gets caught with a spin kick to the face. Morrison bounces off the ropes and hits Ted with a series of clotheslines. Morrison looks to springboard, but Ted kicks the ropes and tries for a quick pin. Morrison kicks out.
Ted grabs Morrison from behind looking for Dream Street. Morrison counters, but gets caught with a quick scoop slam. Morrison kicks out of the cover. Ted tries to lift Morrison off the mat, but gets hit with a punch. Morrison goes to bounce of the ropes, but Dibiase follows right after and turns him inside out with a clothesline. Dibiase gets to his feet and looks for his finisher again, but Morrison counters into a bridging pin for the win!
Winner via Bridge: John Morrison
After the match, Ted Dibiase pounds on Morrison. R-Truth hits the ring to make the save.
Before his match against John Cena tonight, Chris Jericho comes out to the ramp in a suit. Chris says that he won’t use the same lame and flimsy excuse that The Miz did. The bottom line is that Jericho is bringing out his NXT Rookie, Wade Barret for the match. Jericho puts over Wade. Barrett takes the mic and says that Cena won’t beat him period.
Beat the Clock Challenge
John Cena v. Wade Barret
The time to beat in this match is 5:06. John takes him straight to the mat for a cover, Wade kicks out. John locks on a sleeper hold in the middle of the ring. Jericho is smugly watching from ringside. Cena hits a snapmare, and goes for a cover. Cena lifts Wade up for the FU, but Jericho distracts him. John throws Wade to the outside of the ring at his mentor. Cena heads out and throws Wade back into the ring.
Jericho tries for a cheap shot, but Cena catches him and punches him. Wade then hits a baseball slide kick to the back of Cena’s head. John is back in the ring now, and gets whipped hard into the turnbuckle. Wade is slowing down the match with a couple of punches. Wade goes for the cover, but Cena kicks out. 2:30 left on the clock.
Wade locks on an arm stretch. John is trying to power out, but gets wrenched back down to the mat. 2 minutes left on the clock. Cena’s next attempt at escape is more successful, but bouncing off the ropes only results in a big boot from Wade! Cover attempt, but John kicks out. 1:30 left.
Cena is whipped into the ropes, and then gets caught with a backbreaker. Wade goes for another cover attempt as we head to the 1 minute mark. Cena kicks outs, but is struggling down on the mat. Wade hits a series of knees to the back of Cena. 30 seconds remain as John counters into the STF!! Time is ticking to a close as Wade tries to escape. There is no choice for Wade but to tap! Cena beats Batista’s time with only seconds to spare!
Winner via STF: John Cena
Cena grabs the microphone to announce what the stipulation will be for his match against Batista. Before he can utter what it will be, Sheamus makes his way to the ring to hit his finisher on Cena.
Maryse v. Nikki Bella w/ Twin
Maryse does NOT have the Title that I swore she stole from Eve earlier. The women lock up and Nikki hits a snapmare. She grabs Maryse’s head and slams her into the turnbuckle. Maryse heads to the outside of the ring, but Nikki follows right after. Maryse is back in the ring, and Nikki heads to the top rope. Nikki is countered by Maryse who throws her down to the mat. Maryse hits the French Kiss to win.
Winner via French Kiss: Maryse
After the match Maryse grabs the microphone and says something in French. She then says that she would like to present to the world her brand new photo shoot. “Maryse the Sexiest of Sexy”. It is Maryse posing with the Diva’s Title over top of the fallen Eve Torres. Maryse says that she has never seen Eve look so good.
I’m surprised there hasn’t been a run-in — oh never mind, here comes Eve. The referee is able to keep them apart as Maryse escapes up the entrance ramp.
Gail Kim and Alicia Fox are sitting ringside. Zack Ryder is in the ring and says that the biggest thing coming out of the WWE Draft last week, is that he is STILL on Monday Night RAW. He says that he is single and ready to mingle, which is why he invited the Divas out to ringside. Zack asks for his opponent to be sent out to the ring. Wayne Brady hits the big screen, and sends out Ryder’s opponent — Mark Henry!
Zack Ryder v. Mark Henry
Zack looks to take down Henry, but just gets swatted away. Henry lifts him in the air for a scoop slam. Henry follows it up with yet another slam. Zack is in the corner, and just barely dodges a splash. Ryder hits a dropkick, but is not able to take the big man down. Zack heads to the top rope and connects with a missile dropkick! Zack goes for the cover, but Henry kicks out.
Zack connects with a double knee hit to the head and goes for the cover, but Henry kicks out. Mark Henry does not let him get the change again, and picks him up into the air. Ryder can’t escape and gets caught with the World’s Strongest Slam!
Winner via World’s Strongest Slam: Mark Henry
After the match there is no run-in! It is notable to I figured I would mention it. Henry heads to ringside and escorts the two Divas back up the ramp.
In the back, Chris Jericho is talking to The Miz. Chris and The Miz complain about having been tag partners with Big Show. Jericho says that Big Show had no right to sucker punch Miz. Jericho says that between the two of them they carried him for 16 months. Miz says that there is nothing they can do about it because he is on Smackdown now. Jericho says he has an idea, and the two walk away talking.
In the back, Kozlov is talking to Wayne Brady. Wayne says that he is not foolish like MacGruber. Santino comes into the office dressed as a 1970s star. He says that he is ready to join Wayne’s family… The Brady Bunch. William Regal comes into the office and talks to Wayne about getting a match. Santino is upset because he wanted a match, but Wayne says that Regal showed up in his office first.
Goldust shows up in the office dressed in, well, a dress. Wayne Brady says, “what’s up Alice”. Goldust says, “who’s Alice, I’m Goldust witch” (a play on I’m Rick James bitch, see the Chappelle show and Wayne Brady for reference).
Chris Jericho and The Miz are on commentary for this upcoming match.
The Hart Dynasty v. William Regal & Kozlov
This is a non-Title matchup. The match starts with Tyson and William Regal. The lights go out for a second, I think it was a technical glitch. Regal attempts to whip Tyson into the corner, but Kidd connects with a hit. Tyson is perched on the corner, but Kozlov pulls him off and he lands on the outside. The referee begins the ten count.
Tyson makes his way back into the ring, and gets caught in an arm bar by William Regal. Kozlov gets the tag and throws Tyson into the corner. Kozlov puts his boot up in Tyson’s face and applies pressure. Jericho just called Michael Cole a “jackass”.
William Regal is tagged into the match. Tyson escapes a power bomb, and rolls through to kick Regal in the face. David gets the hot tag. He enters with a kick to both Regal and Kozlov. Regal punches him, and looks to go for the Knee Trembler. Smith dodges, and connects with the Sharpshooter! Regal taps!
Winners via Sharpshooter: The Hart Dynasty
After the match, Miz & Jericho run into the ring (shocking, I know) to take out the Unified Tag Team Champions. Miz and Jericho flaunt and taunt to the crowd.
Cutting Edge w/ Guest Randy Orton
Edge is out first and says that he is the most controversial wrestler in the history of the WWE. He takes us back to his return from injury when he won the Royal Rumble. He puts over his success. Edge tells the fans that they don’t deserve an explanation for what he did to Orton last week. Nah, he is just kidding, he just likes playing with the fans. He says that attacking Orton was therapeutic. Edge admits that he may have cost Orton a shot at the Championship, but the important part is that he was the most talked about wrestler on any brand last Monday. Edge looks to introduce his guest, but Wayne Brady’s music hits!
Wayne makes his way out to the ring and grabs a microphone. Edge tells Wayne to take a seat. He says that Randy Orton can wait. Edge asks him what has brought him out. Brady says that he has been a huge wrestling fan all of his life, and the fact that he is involved is a dream come true. He gives a cheap pop from the crowd by mentioning their city Mick Foley style.
Wayne asks if he can feel what it is like to walk in Edge’s shadow. Edge gives him the ok. Wayne cuts a promo to the WWE audience! Brady takes a shot at the former guest hosts and says that he is even better than Bob Barker, he is Bob Darker! That’s awesome.
Randy Orton’s music hits and he makes his way down to the ring. Orton does not say a word and stares down Edge. Orton pounces… and hits Wayne Brady with an RKO!! What!!
Edge backs away and asks Orton to hear him out before he RKOs him. Edge says that Orton would have done the same thing in his shoes last week. Edge recollects that Orton was a guest on the Cutting Edge years ago, and the result was the two of them forming the tag team Rated RKO. Edge makes the offer for it to happen again.
Orton doesn’t respond. Edge goes on a rant about the fans not appreciating him and the work he has done for them. He continues on about how the situation is not fair. Edge tells Orton that he must join him, because if not, the spear he gave him last week will be just the tip of the iceberg. No matter what Edge does, he cannot seem to get a reaction out of Orton. Orton tries to hit him with an RKO, but Edge hits him with a big boot to the face. Orton has his back turned, and Edge is setting up for the spear! Orton counters into the RKO!!
Orton’s music fills the arena and he stands over the fallen bodies of Edge and Wayne Brady as we go off the air.
The Monday War v.2.0 is officially over. TNA announced that they will be putting their tail between their legs and returning to their former timeslots on Thursday nights. Well, that was a disappointment. Not much of a “war”. I was one of the few that chose to be optimistic and hoped for great things, but after abysmal ratings like this past week’s 0.5, Spike really had no choice (especially when the Thursday replay had a higher rating!). So, RAW is once again the only live wrestling spectacle here in the US on Monday nights. What can I say? Success rests on a lonely perch.
RAW had one of the lamest, boring, and deadest crowds for an opening that I can remember. I realized that I was actually playing solitaire on my computer while desperately waiting for something to happen. The crowd was dead, and not even Cole or Lawler seemed to know what to say to bring the mood up while heading to the commercial break. Not a good way to kick off the show.
Is it just me, or does Batista look smaller and smaller each week? I swear he is shrinking. That being said I am really digging the whole spotlight gimmick. There is fantastic drama in its presence.
The “doctor’s note” that The Miz had was hilarious. Fits perfectly with his character. Daniel Bryan wrestled a really solid match against Batista. I don’t want to sound like a typical internet fan, but there is no denying the fact that he is a gifted performer. He made a five minute match against Batista look great. He actually had the crowd believing that Batista might even tap. Just think for a moment about how impressive that is for a Rookie to accomplish. Unfortunately, apart from a few cheers of excitement when Daniel had a hold locked on, the crowd continued its stay in the grave. Not much in terms of reactions from Jacksonville tonight.
The Eve Torres/Maryse segment was intriguing backstage. It will depend on how it all plays out, but I like the fact that Maryse essentially picked the Title up and treated it as if it was hers.
Wayne Brady got off to a hot start as guest host. Nice bit of comedy getting rid of Jillian Hall.
Edge is making the claim that he is the Rated R star in the PG era of WWE Television. To the best of my knowledge he is the first wrestler that they are allowing to call out and attack the policy. I am interested in seeing how they let it play out.
The whole Ted Dibiase/Morrison match really hurt my head. It started off strong. Morrison hit an absolutely beautiful 450 Splash to the outside. I get that Morrison did not want to start his tenure on RAW off with a cheap victory, but why he would go so far as to offer to enter servitude as Dibiase’s Virgil if he lost is beyond me. I’m just glad Morrison won the match in the end. Not a big fan of Dibiase attacking him after the match. Second time in a row that happened tonight. Jim Ross complained about that style in his blog this past week. Coincidence?
That trend continued, though not with both competitors, after the Cena match as well. Enough with the run-ins tonight for crying out loud. The WWE usually is pretty light on them, and then tonight they are freakin’ everywhere. Let’s try and find a nice middle ground for the future.
The Cena/Wade match was pretty straightforward in what you would expect. Wade proved his value yet again, and Cena pulled out the victory with only a few dramatic seconds to spare. I do like the fact that they really put over two NXT Rookies tonight on RAW. Yes, technically they lost their matches. But Daniel Bryan and Wade showed that they can wrestle on par with the main event roster.
Didn’t Maryse walk off with Eve’s Title? What happened to that? I guess she left it in the back when she headed down to the ring. I actually thought that her match against Nikki wouldn’t have a run-in. No idea why I would have thought that tonight. I will say that Maryse has one of the best women’s pin covers of all time. Sure she has been doing it for awhile, but it needs to be said.
Zack Ryder cracks me up. That mesh shirt and half pant tight attire is so absurd. Woo, woo, woo, you know it!
Jericho and The Miz teaming up could be quite the tag team. The comedy that both of them generate is hilarious, and it would be quite a ride. I only wonder if they would be able to stay as heels, or if the crowd would force a face turn based on reaction. Could be the Randy Orton effect all over again. Keep an eye on those two.
I’m astonished once again at how much the WWE underutilized their guest host. They had Wayne Brady tonight, a master at improv and performance, and they couldn’t even use him for anything special? Just run of the mill office gags. I’m really disappointed because the WWE dropped the ball with him tonight. This is not his fault, the WWE failed to utilize his talents. The moments he was given, he pulled off, but they could have done so much more.
I’m looking forward to the comedy of Goldust back on RAW. He has been awesome since heading to ECW last year. He is in better shape and form than he has been in years. Talent is talent, and Goldust has it.
The post match interference continued after the Hart Dynast/Reglov match. For the record, only ONE match did not have some kind of post match run in or beat down tonight. The match itself was quick and straightforward. Not much of note that I can point out. Jericho and Miz were good on commentary as I expected.
The WWE spent literally the entire RAW hyping up the return of the Cutting Edge. They basically laid the overall success on the show on that one segment. It was probably the best segment, but that’s not really saying all that much. Props to Wayne Brady for taking a nice looking RKO. I have literally no idea what he was promoting tonight. But, he is a wrestling fan and at least on his own part did a great job as a host. Like I said before, I wish that the WWE had utilized him better, but he performed well when given the chance. Orton RKO’ing him and essentially brushing him aside played great into Orton’s current character. Good booking.
Send me some e-mails, and have a safe week everyone!
So that’s RAW…. Love it? Hate it? Disagree with everything I said? Just want to chat wrestling? I’m always up for reading your thoughts and do my absolute best to reply to every message I get. Send them over to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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