Are you ready to discover the conspiracy? Then stop questioning your heart and join me because it is time for Monday Night RAW!!!
RAW opens with a Memorial Day tribute to all the fallen that have given their lives serving the United States.
R-Truth is in the back, but there is no audio. He appears to be trashing a John Cena merchandise table. A Technical Difficulties screen pops up for a moment, and then we go back to an audio free shot of Truth. The camera cuts to Lawler and Cole who comment that there are production issues. Truth appears in the crowd, and starts to go through the audience, berating those wearing Cena T-shirts. He complains about a conspiracy, and tells a couple little Jimmies to shut up.
John Cena comes down to the ring, and tells Truth that he is delusional. Truth says that ever since he stopped dancing and rapping, no one seems to like him anymore. He blames John Cena, naturally. Cena says that these people are not Jimmies, they are the greatest fans in the world. Truth should be in a straightjacket, and he has no idea why Truth is so angry at him. But, if it is a match he wants, it is a match he gets.
And I quote…
Let’s make this match official. Tonight’s main event: R-Truth v. John Cena. However, there will be no little Jimmies allowed at ringside.
Truth is mad that the GM made a joke, and tells Cena that he is, “going to get got”.
Kofi Kingston v. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero
Ziggler jumps behind Kofi, but Kofi reverses for a takedown. Ziggler tries for a cover, but Kofi kicks out. Ziggler is bashing on the back of Kofi. He goes for a side headlock, but Kofi reverses into one of his own followed by a modified snapmare. Cover attempt, but Kofi kicks out. Ziggler goes for another side headlock. Kofi escapes with an elbow, but a shoulder tackle sends him to the mat. Kofi leaps a charge, but a kick to the gut grounds him. Ziggler throws him out of the ring as we head to commercial.
Back from the break, there is a momentum shift as Kofi connects with a series of dropkicks. He sets up for the Boom Drop, and it hits! Kofi heads to the corner and soaks in the roar of the crowd. Kofi goes for the Trouble in Paradise, but Ziggler ducks. Kofi is able to kick him in the jaw, and heads to the top rope. He leaps for a crossbody, but Ziggler moves out of the way. Ziggler flattens Kofi to the mat, and this match is over – NO! Kofi kicks out! Kingston goes for a quick cover but Kofi kicks out. Kofi tries for the SOS, but Ziggler reverses into the Zig Zag. This match is over!
Winner via Zig Zag: Dolph Ziggler
Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio. He comes to the ring and tells us that his name is Alberto Del Rio, but we already knew that. He shows a replay of the Big Show/Kane events from last week. The package includes the amazing David Otunga winning his second WWE Tag Team Title!
Del Rio explains that it was an accident. He tells Ricardo to explain. Ricardo rants in Spanish. Del Rio says that bad things happen to bad people. He says that Big Show owes him money for damaging his car, Ricardo will send him the bill. Del Rio wishes Show a speedy recovery.
Kelly Kelly & Eve Torres v. The Bella Twins
Eve and one of the Bellas start things off. Flip from Eve is dodged, but a rollup attempt is kicked out of by Bella. Eve locks on a Sunflower Submission, but Bella runs in for the save. Eve is caught with a double team shot to the gut. Cover attempt, but Eve kicks out. Eve is squashed against the second rope as Bella uses the top rope for leverage. With the refs back turned, other Bella hits a cheap shot from the apron. Other Bella is tagged into the ring, and tries for a submission of her own. Eve scurries away and tags in Kelly! Kelly hits a Thesz press, followed by a hurricarana! Her belt falls off, but Kelly isn’t phased. Kelly hits a stink face in the corner. Cover attempt, but other Bella runs in for the save. Eve runs into the ring to knock Bella out of the ring. Kelly goes for the cover, and this match is over.
Winners: Kelly Kelly & Eve Torres
Michael Cole is in the ring, and he shows a video clip of Alex Riley attacking his mentor, The Miz, last week on RAW. Cole says that Riley’s actions were on the same level of Benedict Arnold. He calls out Riley to apologize. Riley comes down to the ring. Cole says that The Miz was emotionally affected by what happened. Cole says that The Miz is a friend of his, so he knows that Miz was emotionally scarred by Riley’s actions. Cole says that Riley may not realize this, but The Miz thought of Riley as a brother.
Alex Riley says that he has never felt better in his life. Cole says that Riley should get down on his knees and beg The Miz for forgiveness. Riley has no idea the type of pain that Miz can inflict on him. Riley tells Cole to shut up. Michael Cole calls Alex Riley a bastard! Riley responds by throwing Cole down to the mat, and then kicking him. The Miz runs in to make the save, wearing a very neon pink shirt. Miz shouts that he made Riley, and then strips him of his jacket. Riley counters with a tackle! Miz runs out of the ring, but Riley follows after him. Miz is thrown from barricade to barricade, and then Riley leaps over a barricade for a splash! Miz is chucked over the commentator’s booth before he hightails it to the back.
CM Punk w/ Mason Ryan v. Rey Mysterio w/ The Spirit of the 619
Punk pushes Rey towards the corner and knees him in the gut. Rey bounces off the second rope and connects with a kick of his own and a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Punk tries to throw him out of the ring, but Rey rolls through and jumps back up the apron. Punk distracts the ref as Ryan throws Rey into the steel post.
Back from the break, Punk catches Rey and hits a back breaker. Cover attempt, but Rey kicks out. Punk locks on a legscissors submission. Cover attempt, but Rey kicks out. Punk goes right back to the legscissors. Rey bridges free, and flips behind Punk. Rey sets him up for the 619, but Punk slides of the ring. Rey responds with a suicide dive that sends Punk over the announce table!
Rey slides Punk back into the ring, and heads to the top turnbuckle. He leads for a seated senton, followed by a springboard crossbody. Cover attempt, but Punk kicks out. Bridging roll up, but Punk kicks out. Punk hits a spinebuster and goes for a cover of his own. Rey kicks out. Rey sets Punk up for another 619 and kicks Ryan. Punk runs over and grabs Rey for the GTS. Rey slips off him, but a brutal kick to the back of the skull knocks him out. This match is over.
Winner via Skull Kick: CM Punk
Video: Stone Cole Steve Austin on Jimmy Fallon
Kharma is in the ring, and she says that ever since she was little she dreamed of being a WWE Superstar. She even tried out for Tough Enough Season 2. But, Jim Ross told her she was too fat to ever be a WWE Diva. She took that criticism and went to Japan to become a wrestling master. She worked in every promotion the world round, until she ended up here. But, her other dream is to become a mother. So, she has to take a leave of absence because she is pregnant. The Bella Twins mock her for being fat. Kharma says when she returns in a year, she hopes that The Bellas are still around so she can destroy them.
Video: Obama Capital Punishment Press Conference
Jack Swagger v. Evan Bourne
Bourne is kicked to the mat, and then clubbed across the back. Swagger lifts up Bourne, but Bourne shifts the balance and pulls both Swagger and himself outside. Back in the ring, Swagger connects with a huge clothesline. Cover attempt, but Evan kicks out. Swagger does a push up on his back, and then goes to the chin lock. Swagger steps on the sternum of Bourne, and then takes a moment to gloat. Bourne tries for a hurricarana, but Swagger converts it into a side slam. Swagger goes for a back to belly suplex, but Bourne flips into a roll up. This match is over!
Winner via Roll Up: Evan Bourne
Truth is shown in the back talking to himself, saying that he isn’t crazy.
John Cena v. R-Truth
Cena knocks Truth down to the mat, so he rolls to the outside. Truth takes his time re-entering the ring. Truth kicks Cena in the gut, elbows him on the top of the head, and then backs him into the corner. Truth is whipped into the corner, but he bounces out and Cena hits a shoulder block. Truth rolls to the outside once again. Truth goes to people in the audience, yelling at them, but some guy keeps yelling back, “Zack Ryder has a T-Shirt”. A “Let’s Go Cena, Cena Sucks” chant breaks out. Truth is knocked down to the mat, and Cena connects with the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Truth rolls out of the ring yet again. Once back inside, Cena immediately lifts him up for the Attitude Adjustment. Truth scurries off his shoulders and heads out of the ring. This time, Truth exits out into the crowd. Cena follows right after and throws him back over the barricade. Truth punches Cena and then runs back to the ring. The referee is counting, and this match is over!
Winner via Count Out: R-Truth
Truth heads into the crowd, and goes back to the little boy and his father wearing Cena shirts that he insulted earlier in the evening. He takes the kids soda and throws it into the face of the father! Truth runs away. Cena apologizes to the father and gives him an armband.
It was really unprofessional of the audio techs to mute Truth’s backstage segment tonight. Even if they don’t care for a guy, they should still do their jobs correctly. I don’t blame him for thinking that there is a conspiracy, because when things like that happen, they only cement his position. It seems awfully convenient that his segment was the only one without sound. The WWE employees are far too good at their jobs to screw up something as simple as moving a switch up, so this must be a conspiracy against Truth. Little Jimmy is a jerk!
The love that Dolph and Vickie have for each other is absolutely beautiful. A lot of people thought Ziggler was only with her because of her position of power, but clearly it is her other positions that he is interested in now.
I have to side with Del Rio about Big Show damaging his car. Maybe if Show wasn’t stuffing his face with a sandwich he would have seen a SLOW moving car coming his way. Ok sure, they didn’t actually show him with a sandwich, but I can extrapolate out the facts enough to make a fair assumption that he was eating. What I’m trying to say is, pay the bill Big Show! A little personal responsibility would go a long way.
Solid match from Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres & The Bellas. However, I still can’t tell apart the Bellas to save my life. Sure, one of them has a tattoo, but due to its location it doesn’t really come in handy while I’m recapping.
I’m glad Alex Riley finally has gotten his own entrance music, it fits him well. Michael Cole is a tool for thinking that Riley owes Miz any sort of apology. Amidst the anti-bullying campaign of the WWE, I think it is great that Riley is standing up to The Miz. I watched The Real World when Miz was on, so I know that he is nothing but a glorified frat boy punk. You stick to your morals and guns Riley. As in Star Wars, the apprentice becomes the master. Give The Miz a punch for every bag he ever forced you to carry.
On a random note, I always felt bad that wrestlers from parts unknown never got to tour to their hometown with WWE. Why the prejudice Vince?
A lot of people may be angry to find out that Jim Ross told Kharma she was too fat to be a WWE Diva. I’m not, who would know better than Jim Ross?
Rey Mysterio and CM Punk went all out in their match tonight. However, the referee should have realized that Ryan was to blame when Rey mysteriously went from the apron to the floor clutching his head. Sure he COULD have been faking, but a little common sense goes a long way. Rey wouldn’t have had to worry about Ryan later in the match, and he very well could have connected with the 619 and won the match. As Miley Cyrus says, “Nobody’s Perfect”, but I expect more from a professional referee.
The last Monday of the month is “kayfabe” night in my RAW Recaps. Wrestling is supposed to be fun, so relax and enjoy
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