“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…” The WWE video leads us into the show.
CM Punk’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring with a megaphone. This is his first appearance since his controversial promo two weeks ago. Punk gets in the ring and grabs a microphone. Punk then grabs the headset from the technician and gives some orders to whoever is in the back. The crowd is electric as he sits down in the ring.
Punk asks if he has everyone’s attention now. Punk says he feels like he has to recap. If we didn’t see the show last week, and he can’t blame us if we didn’t because he wasn’t on, he was suspended by Vincent K. McMahon. He was suspended because the week prior to that he got into a little trouble because of some things he said. He didn’t get in trouble because he said July 17 was the day his contract ends. He didn’t get in trouble because he said he was going to beat John Cena this Sunday but he was going to leave with the “oh so precious” WWE Title, rendering all future champions irrelevant. He didn’t just get in trouble for mentioning that when Vince McMahon dies the company will not only fall into the hands of his idiotic daughter and he doofus husband. He got in trouble because he has the balls to say the things that no one else has the balls to say.
Saying things like this company inside and outside the ring are filled with a parade of shameless ass kissers. Punk says not only is his reinstated and his championship match back on, he brought backup in case they shut his microphone off. Punk said that through the megaphone. Punk then sets the siren off on the megaphone. Punk says a lot of people are probably wondering why he’s holding a live microphone. Vince McMahon wants to sign him to a long and lucrative WWE contract. Punk says its funny that Vince is bending over backwards to give him everything he wants when all he wanted was a microphone. It’s power. In anyone else’s hands it’s a microphone but in his hands it’s a pipe bomb.
Vince McMahon finally sees him for what he is: the hottest commodity in the business today. McMahon finally sees it this way that because he did something that he and his endless empty suits couldn’t do: he made WWE socially relevant. The crowd doesn’t count because he’s talking about the real world. In the real world the WWE only gets mentions for two reasons. One is that CM Punk is talking and two is because somebody died. Now, because of him, WWE is all over YouTube. ESPN is falling all over themselves to get him on their TV and radio shows. Jimmy Kimmel’s show wants his story. Punk finds it funny that he has one foot out the door and Vince McMahon wants to give him what he wants.
If McMahon treated him this nicely five years ago he wouldn’t have this much pent up aggression toward him and so much to say. The crowd is chanting for CM Punk. Punk says he knows Vince McMahon and he’ll expect him to sit in his office to talk about a contract. Punk says he knows that McMahon likes to do things that have never been done before so Punk challenges him to have the first ever live contract negotiation in the ring. Maybe he’ll sign, maybe he won’t. Maybe Vince McMahon will have to join the “CM Punk Kiss My Ass Club.”
John Cena’s music hits and he is probably more hated than the Yankees in Boston right now. They are not happy with him interrupting this. Punk does the classic “I’m afraid your music is just too loud” line from “Back to the Future”. Punk introduces Cena to the crowd and they boo wildly. Punk thanks him for getting him reinstated to a job he didn’t even really want in the first place. Punk thanks him for giving him everything that he ever wanted. Not only is he going to beat him for the title at Money in the Bank, he’s going to change the look of the title because it’s been far too ugly for far too long. Punk says he’s leaving on July 17 and Cena will get fired when he loses. Punk says McMahon isn’t going to fire him since Cena got fired a few months ago and that lasted for about seven days.
Cena asks if he’s done and Punk says probably not. Cena says he made a very truthful statement. We’ve been waiting five years to say Punk has a set of balls. Punk also has a mouth and he likes to run it so he’s going to set him straight. For three weeks he’s heard that Punk is going to beat him for the title but he has to go through him to do that. Punk acts like he’s a pushover. Just because he’s CM Punk and he has a live microphone and it’s Chicago and no one will stop him from getting the title, he has news for Punk: he’s no pushover. Cena says he knows he’s thinking that just because he was half-knocked out and Punk said he was the best wrestler in the country. Punk corrects him and says he’s the best wrestler in the world.
Cena says he also said that he is a vision of what the company believes the best should be. Just because he smiles for the camera but he does that because he loves it. Cena is the best because he has the title and he’s earned it. Cena congratulates Punk on thinking he’s the best. A lot of people thought that: Triple H, JBL, Edge, Batista, Randy Orton, Kurt Angle, Shawn Michaels, even Eddie Guerrero thought he couldn’t hang with them and every one was disappointed. Cena says he doesn’t care if he stays or goes, he’s coming to Chicago to whip Punk’s ass.
The anonymous Raw General Manager’s e-mail chime hits. Michael Cole gets up and reads it: “Mr. McMahon is en route to negotiate with CM Punk but in the meantime, I think if this is John Cena’s last night on Raw we should see him in action. So Cena, don’t go anywhere, because you’re going to be competing in a very special match next.”
John Cena is standing in the ring. Justin Roberts announces that it’s a handicap match.
John Cena vs. David Otunga & Michael McGillicutty
Otunga starts out against Cena. Cena quickly takes him down and they circle the ring. Cena hits a snapmare and a chin lock. Otunga quickly gets to the ropes and tags in McGillicutty. They lock up and McGillicutty works the arm. Cena gets out and applies a side headlock. McGillicutty whips him off and gets shoulder blocked down. Cena takes him down with a hip toss and a dropkick. McGillicutty gets out of the ring and talks strategy with Otunga.
We come back from the break to see McGillicutty applying a chin lock to Cena. During the commercial Otunga sent him into the barricade. Cena takes him down and goes for the STF but McGillicutty kicks him off. McGillicutty stomps him in the corner and Otunga kicks him in the head. Otunga is tagged in and they whip him hard to the corner and punch him down. Otunga punches him down and chokes him in the corner. Otunga whips him hard across the ring and Cena face plants. Otunga taunts the crowd and they don’t care. Otunga goes for a suplex but Cena blocks it and executes a fisherman’s suplex.
McGillicutty is tagged in but Cena sidesteps him and hits a pair of shoulder tackles. Cena hits his back suplex bomb and does the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment but Otunga stops it. They do a variation of the Hart Attack but Cena kicks out. McGillicutty puts him on the top rope and goes for a superplex but Cena fights him off. Cena kicks Otunga off the apron and hits that diving leg drop off the top rope. Cena applies the STF and Otunga breaks it up again. Otunga punches him in the corner and they go for a double splash but Cena sidesteps it. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on McGillicutty and throws Otunga over the top rope. Cena covers for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: John Cena
Match Rating: *
Tonight we’ll see live contract negotiation between CM Punk and Vince McMahon in the center of the ring.
The announcers talk about Big Show vs. Mark Henry this Sunday and show a video package for it.
Vickie Guerrero is coaching Dolph Ziggler on talking to Vince McMahon. Ziggler rehearses, saying McMahon should fire CM Punk and John Cena. As long as he’s the United States Champion that can be the premiere title in WWE because he’s the premiere superstar in WWE. Vickie imitates McMahon asking if he’s trying to tell him how to do his job. Ziggler says he’s telling him the truth, except he’s not doing it out in the ring or insulting his family. Ziggler says last week McMahon looked like a wuss. Vickie imitates McMahon a bit. Drew McIntyre walks up and does a McMahon impersonation. Ziggler makes some old jokes about McMahon and says he should retire. McIntyre talks about how bad McMahon’s breath is and Vickie laughs.
They stop laughing but Vickie continues. Vickie turns and Vince McMahon is standing behind him. Vince says that McIntyre and Ziggler will team up in a handicap match against a big opponent like the Big Show. They begrudgingly thank him and McMahon asks for a mint. What he really doesn’t want to have is bad breath. McMahon made sure to blow his breath in their faces.
Scott Stanford walks up and asks about the live negotiation. McMahon tells him to tell the entire world that he said they could go to hell.
Kelly Kelly will be in action next.
JOBBER ALERT: Melina is in the ring with no TV entrance. The Bella Twins are on commentary.
Melina vs. Kelly Kelly
They lock up and Melina takes her down with a snapmare. Melina kicks her in the back and executes a double arm sleeper hold. If I close my eyes it’s like Venus and Serena Williams playing a tennis match. Kelly makes her comeback out of nowhere with some clotheslines and a handspring back elbow in the corner. Kelly does a Stink Face and a neckbreaker for a two count. Melina takes her down and misses a split leg drop. Kelly hits the K2 for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Kelly Kelly
Match Rating: 1/2 *
The Bella Twins get on the microphone and get in the ring. They say Kelly should eat some food and imply that she’s anorexic. They ask for a close up on Kelly and say she needs some acne cream. It did wonders for Katy Perry but she’s no teenage dream. She’s a malnourished nightmare. Kelly attacks but they quickly come out on top. Kelly sells like she’s being murdered until Eve Torres runs down to help. Eve quickly gets outnumbered and the Bella Twins leave the ring.
They put over the live contract negotiation that’s going to take place later tonight. The Miz is walking backstage. He’ll be in the ring next.
They show a replay of The Miz destroying Alex Riley after losing to him in a match last Monday.
The Miz makes his way to the ring, which has a giant ladder set up underneath the Money in the Bank briefcase. They are claiming that the WWE Universe crashed Twitter for twenty minutes. There are ladders surrounding the ring as well. The Miz sits on top of the ladder and says there is no better view than sitting on top of the ladder and looking down on everyone else. He’s used to being the best and that makes him different from everyone in the ladder match. It’s not because he’s the most must see WWE Superstar of all time. It’s because he knows what it’s like to take this path to becoming WWE Champion. He knows the smell and taste in a way none of his other opponents have.
Some of them have been close but that doesn’t make them a winner or a champion. He knows what it takes to be a champion. Everyone is going to find out that he still has what it takes to be a champion. Up here he’s quite comfortable because this is where the future happens, pointing to the briefcase. The Miz is still the future and every pretender this Sunday in this match will learn why he is The Miz… and he’s…
Interrupted by Jack Swagger. Swagger makes his way to the ring and mocks Miz saying he’s the future. Swagger says Alex Riley must have hit him in the head one too many times. Swagger has also won the Money in the Bank match and he also cashed in the contract to become a World Champion. Swagger says he’s going to do it again. The Miz does his “really” routine for a bit before asking if someone cashes in the contract and nobody remembers it, did it really happen?
Evan Bourne’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring as well. Bourne says he’s tired of hearing about what those two have done. He’s here to talk about what he’s going to do on Sunday. Bourne says he’s going to steal the show, climb the ladder, and win Money in the Bank.
Kofi Kingston’s music hits and he heads to the ring as well. Kingston says he appreciates Bourne’s confidence but at the end of the day it’s all just talk. This is Money in the Bank we’re talking about. It’s an eight-man ladder match where everyone puts everything on the line. Anybody can win this match. If he wins it’s not going to be because of what he does or says tonight. It’s going to be because of what he does on Sunday. Kingston asks if it’s a coincidence if one of the greatest superstars in WWE history had to retire due to injury. He got injured due to matches like this and his name was Edge.
R-Truth makes his way to the ring looking as crazy as he always does. He talks about the conspiracy against him. Everyone is talking about John Cena and CM Punk but everyone forgot that he beat John Cena two weeks ago. He put Cena through the table and all us Little Jimmy’s saw it. Now he has to climb a ladder when he has acrophobia. The conspiracy knows he’s afraid of heights. R-Truth says there better be no spiders in the ring because he’s afraid of them, too. R-Truth says if there’s a spider in the briefcase when he opens it, the grits going to hit the pan. That briefcase is gonna get gots, and that’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Alex Riley makes his way to the ring and The Miz quickly gets out. Riley tries to get his hands on him but Miz gets away.
Alberto Del Rio drives into the arena and that should be it for the guys coming out. Del Rio says this is a disgrace. Del Rio says he’s the number one contender and now we have John Cena against CM Punk. Del Rio says the question is why. He’ll tell us why. John Cena is afraid of Alberto Del Rio. Now he has to do it all over again that it’s his destiny to be the next WWE Champion. Del Rio says in six days he’s going to teach a lesson to every single one of them in the ring. That’s a lesson for destiny.
The anonymous Raw General Manager chimes in. Michael Cole gets up and reads it: “Alberto Del Rio has a point and since we have six of the Money in the Bank competitors in the ring, let’s have a match! So Miz, Jack Swagger, and R-Truth, you will team up to face Evan Bourne, Alex Riley, and Kofi Kingston in a six-man tag team match-up that starts right now!”
The Miz, Jack Swagger & R-Truth vs. Evan Bourne, Alex Riley & Kofi Kingston
We join the match in progress. Swagger has Bourne in a wristlock. Bourne gets out but Swagger takes him down. The Miz is tagged in and he knees him in the face. Miz chokes Bourne on the ropes and hits a running kick to the head for a near fall. R-Truth is tagged in and he punches Bourne in the ribs. R-Truth hits a body slam and a break dance leg drop for a two count. R-Truth chokes him and applies a chin lock. Bourne tries to fight up but R-Truth hits a sit-out front suplex for a near fall. R-Truth argues with the referee a bit. R-Truth applies a front face lock. Bourne fights up again and R-Truth clubs him. R-Truth hits a suplex/stunner combo for a near fall. R-Truth goes for his Scissors Kick but Bourne sidesteps it and hits a high knee to the temple.
Kingston is tagged in and he hits a springboard clothesline on R-Truth. Kingston hits some chops and a dropkick. Kingston hits the superman punch and does the Boom Drop. Kingston signals for his finisher and punches Swagger off the apron. R-Truth sucker punches him and sends him to the corner. Kingston hits him with a pendulum kick and hits a high cross-body block. The Miz breaks up the pin. R-Truth clotheslines him (sort of) over the top rope.
We come back from the break to see Miz take Kingston down with a back elbow for a near fall. R-Truth is tagged back in and he hits a double suplex with Miz for a near fall. R-Truth applies a head-scissor on the ground and is looking for a submission. Kingston gets out of it after a weird looking visual and R-Truth punches him down. Swagger is tagged back in and Kingston goes on a kicking frenzy on everyone. Swagger and R-Truth try to stop him from making a tag but Kingston counters with a double DDT.
Alex Riley is tagged in and he spears Swagger. Riley punches, hits a pair of back elbows, ducks a clothesline, and hits a spinebuster. Riley brings Miz into the ring the hard way and R-Truth gets him from behind. Bourne takes R-Truth out with a kick. Swagger goes for a Vader Bomb on Riley but Riley gets the boots up. Riley hits an implant DDT for the win.
Winners by Pinfall: Evan Bourne, Alex Riley & Kofi Kingston
Match Rating: * 1/2
The Miz quickly sneaks up from behind and hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Riley. Kingston dropkicks Miz out of the ring and R-Truth clotheslines Kingston out of the ring. Bourne kicks R-Truth in the mouth and goes for Air Bourne but Alberto Del Rio runs down to the ring and pushes him off the top rope. Del Rio takes everyone out with the ladder and lifts it above his head. Del Rio throws it out of the ring and right into The Miz’s ribs. Del Rio points at the briefcase above the ring.
They show a video of John Cena goading Vince McMahon into reinstating CM Punk last week. McMahon reinstated Punk and said if Punk wins at Money in the Bank then he’ll fire John Cena. The live contract negotiation will take place in the ring later tonight.
Dolph Ziggler’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring with Drew McIntyre and Vickie Guerrero. Ziggler and McIntyre will be in action against Big Show next.
Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre w/ Vickie Guerrero vs. Big Show
Dolph Ziggler looks to be starting off against Big Show but Ziggler quickly tags in McIntyre. Big Show brings McIntyre into the ring the hard way and chops Ziggler off the apron. Big Show clotheslines McIntyre in the corner and clubs him down. Big Show hits him with a short-arm clothesline and a NASTY body slam. Ziggler weasels around ringside watching. Big Show sends McIntyre over the top rope and he lands with a thud. Big Show sends him into the barricade and they show Ziggler again watching from afar. Big Show beats on McIntyre up the ramp. Big Show throws him around and the referee calls for the bell.
Match Rating: N/A
Big Show throws McIntyre into the big WWE logo on the stage. Big Show stands over him before picking him up. Big Show looks off the stage and grabs McIntyre by the throat. Big Show goes to Chokeslam him off the stage but Mark Henry comes racing and spears Big Show off the stage! Both men sell the injuries from the fall.
Mark Henry is seen getting up and refusing help.
The announcers talk about the Money in the Bank Ladder Match. They show Alberto Del Rio destroying everyone with the ladder after the six-man tag team match a little while ago. They show a video package highlighting the previous Money in the Bank matches. They then run down the card for the PPV.
CM Punk and Vince McMahon are seen walking backstage. The contract negotiations are next!
Vince McMahon’s music hits and he comes out to the stage only to walk to the back again. McMahon comes out and leaves again. McMahon then comes out once again and gets a bigger reception. McMahon wants to do it one more time and comes out to a great reception. McMahon points at a guy dressed up like Hulk Hogan holding a Zack Ryder sign. That should make one or two people happy. McMahon walks around ringside and shakes hands with some fans. McMahon gets in the ring which has the red carpet out and a table in the center.
McMahon says for those who think he’s joining the “CM Punk Kiss My Ass Club” he hopes they won’t be disappointed. McMahon could never do anything like that. The other aspect of this thing is a bit bothersome is that this is a public negotiation. McMahon says contracts should not be negotiated in public. Nonetheless, that’s what CM Punk wants. McMahon invites him out to the ring and wonders what CM stands for.
CM Punk’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring mocking Vince McMahon’s walk. Punk gets in the ring and doesn’t accept McMahon’s offer of a handshake. McMahon sits down and shows him the contract. McMahon says everything is in there including his own collector’s cup.
Punk asks if McMahon is really going to go through it. For someone who is so pro-John Cena he’s surprised he’s not wearing his t-shirt and armbands. Punk says it’s obvious McMahon has zero faith in John Cena come this Sunday. McMahon says his faith, or lack of it, has nothing to do with this. McMahon wants him to sign the contract for the right reasons. McMahon wants to make him a rich man. He also couldn’t live with himself if he won the title while not under contract. That’s why there are all these provisions in the contract just like he wanted. McMahon calls him Phil, which is Punk’s real name.
Punk says his lawyers looked over the contract and it wasn’t up to par. Punk had them draw up a new one and his signature is already on it. Punk says there are a few new perks he added to it. If McMahon doesn’t think negotiations should happen in public so he asks if the WWE Universe wants to hear it. Punk asks if he wants to hear the perks and McMahon warns him not to push him. Punk says that’s actually provision number one that he gets to push him. Punk pushes him and smiles as McMahon looks irate. Punk says he’ll kick him in the nuts and have him smile. Punk says he’ll show respect or he’ll put the contract in the shredder and take the WWE Championship on Sunday.
Provision number one: he wants his own jet. Punk doesn’t want Vince’s jet – it smells. Number two: his face will be on everything. He wants his face on the titantron, the turnbuckles, shoes, socks, and the WWE Ice Cream bars, which he wants brought back. Hell yeah! The crowd chants for the ice cream bars. Punk wants WWE Films to start production on “CM Punk: The Movie”. They can call it “The Chaperone Part Two” except his will be funny and successful. Then he wants the main event at WrestleMania of John Cena and Dwayne (The Rock for those that don’t watch bad Disney films) to stay. However he wants the match he competes in at WrestleMania to be the true main event.
The last provision is that Vince McMahon will apologize to him and the fans for being one of the biggest hypocrites he’s ever seen in his entire life. As far as the anti-bullying campaign goes, McMahon is one of the biggest bullies he’s ever met in his life and he will apologize. The crowd chants for CM Punk. Punk says he’s had friends, very talented friends, work for this company and be fired. McMahon says they deserved it. Punk says McMahon doesn’t know what it takes to make a superstar in 2011 and he doesn’t know what the people want. McMahon wants to punish people for liking professional wrestling. Guys like Colt Cabana and Luke Gallows. McMahon will apologize to them through him because they can’t be here and can’t stand up to him. Punk says he is the voice of the voiceless and McMahon will apologize and like it.
McMahon tells him to calm down and sign the contract. McMahon asks him to be a gentleman. Punk asks the crowd if he should be a gentleman or have McMahon apologize. Punk tells McMahon to sign the contract and apologize, sparing the company any more embarrassment. McMahon asks him to get this over with since he’s eaten a crap sandwich. Punk tips the table and the crowd is chanting “We Want Wrestling”. McMahon says he doesn’t give a damn what the people want and Punk says that’s the problem. Punk says McMahon doesn’t give a damn and his problem is that he cares too much. Punk asks if he’s a bad guy and he says absolutely. Punk says he’s in touch with what people want and, right now, Boston wants to hear an apology.
McMahon curtly says that he’s sorry and Punk does the Stone Cold Steve Austin “what”. McMahon says, “I apologize you son of a bitch”. Punk gloats that Vince McMahon just apologized to him. Punk sits on the top rope and tells him to sign the contract before the stock plummets some more. Vince McMahon picks up the contract as the crowd chants for Colt Cabana and wrestling.
John Cena’s music hits and there may be a riot here. Cena gets in the ring and tells Punk he gave a fine speech. The crowd loves Punk and they’ll love him in Chicago. That’s the night he walks out on each and every one of them. Cena says if McMahon wants to cave in to a terrorist then he won’t tell him what to do. Last week he asked for a match that Punk wanted. Cena then said now they’re acting like spoiled brats and does a kiddie impression.
Cena says he hates Vince McMahon, too, and makes some terrible poop jokes about what he’d do to Vince McMahon. Cena says the people paid good money to be here tonight and they take it on the chin if he doesn’t show. Punk is the biggest hypocrite of all. He’ll ask the people if they want to see an apology and then leave. A man came to the ring a few months ago and said he’d never leave again. Cena said his point is that Punk isn’t that guy but he’s making a ridiculous list of demands that McMahon cannot meet because he wants to take the title and walk out. His biggest attribute is also his biggest flaw. He is CM Punk and he beats to his own drum. Cena admires that but in the path of doing everything he wants he’s lost sight of things.
Punk says he hasn’t lost sight because he’s leaving due to not fitting a certain mold. Punk is the underdog and that’s what Cena lost sight of. Earlier tonight Cena mentioned great wrestlers that said Cena couldn’t hang. Now Cena is standing here looking at him saying he can’t hang. Punk says he was hanging on Cena’s gangster car at WrestleMania XXII and he said to himself that someday he’d be standing in the ring with Cena watching Cena go down to him.
Here we are in Cena’s hometown of Boston and we’ll be in his hometown of Chicago next week. Cena is the one who’s lost sight when this ten-time champion who stands for “Hustle, loyalty, and respect”, and roots for the Boston Red Sox who portray themselves as the underdog. Cena lost sight of the fact that he is what he hates. Cena is the man. Cena, like the Red Sox, is no longer the underdog. Cena is what he hates and that’s a dynasty. Punk says Cena is the New York Yankees. Cena pushes him and Punk leaves the ring with the contract that wasn’t signed.
Punk says he has something to say and he’s positive everyone wants to hear it. Punk is glad Cena punched him in the face and that made him realize why he wants to leave. He’s just plain tired. Punk says on Sunday night they’ll say goodbye to the WWE Title, John Cena, and CM Punk! Punk rips up the contract and says he’ll go be the best in the world somewhere else!
Quick Match Results
John Cena def. David Otunga & Michael McGillicutty
Kelly Kelly def. Melina (non-title)
Evan Bourne, Alex Riley & Kofi Kingston def. The Miz, Jack Swagger & R-Truth
Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre NC Big Show
Bump of the Night: Mark Henry spearing Big Show off the stage.
Match of the Night: The six-man tag team match * 1/2
They started Raw out perfectly by having CM Punk come out and continue his worked shoot from two weeks ago. Punk was molten hot throughout the promo and the crowd really helped the segment, as they were unglued the whole time. Punk mentioned some really taboo things that definitely made me do a double take, like when he mentioned the only time WWE can get press: he does a promo or someone dies. He’s not wrong – it is true. They are really going all out to keep this going and CM Punk is red-hot going into the PPV this Sunday. John Cena came out and was definitely the most hated man in Boston for about five minutes. Cena cut a pretty decent promo and named dropped a bunch of great names that thought he couldn’t hang with them but he could. A lot of people get on Cena for coming off as disingenuous in his promos but he did a great job putting over the importance of the WWE Championship and how important it is personally to him.
The anonymous Raw GM chimed in and made Cena a match just in case it’s his last Raw. It was a handicap match that, in my opinion, I could have done without. This is like when they teased a mystery opponent for him a few weeks ago and it turned out to be Jack Swagger. It was just a lame matchup. It did nothing for the tag team division… but who am I kidding? The tag team division has been dead and buried for quite some time.
The divas wrestled and I, just like the entire crowd, could have cared less. The Bellas then came in the ring and cut another terrible promo. They’re trying to do a storyline with them but does every diva storyline have to be about making fun of looks and smells? Do these women have any other issues other than superficial crap?
The Miz came out and cut a pretty decent promo about what it’s like to win Money in the Bank and how he’s the future, again. Jack Swagger was out next and I legitimately forgot that Swagger had previously won a Money in the Bank Ladder Match. That was a pretty funny line from The Miz. Then everyone in the match but Rey Mysterio made their way to the ring to talk about why they’re going to win. It’s kind of like the segment they had on Smackdown but a little better. The only thing I didn’t like was the stuff with R-Truth. R-Truth was so hot for a while and now they’re turning him into a big, uneducated joke. The six-man tag team match that the Raw GM made was just ok. The match was joined in progress and it never really got a chance to get off the runway. The beat down Alberto Del Rio gave everyone afterwards was well done, though.
Big Show destroyed Drew McIntyre in the second handicap match of the night, and then Mark Henry destroyed him with a spear that took them both off the stage. It wasn’t as impressive of a visual as it was when Henry put him through the cage. On a side note – did anyone else notice that Drew McIntyre didn’t land on the padding but rather fell to the concrete floor?
That was an excellent, red-hot segment to close the show. This thing with CM Punk just keeps getting better and it’s a shame that he’s leaving just as his potential was starting to be realized by WWE. The interaction with Vince McMahon was classic. It was perversely satisfying to watch McMahon sit there and just be abused no matter how worked this thing actually is. John Cena came out in the middle of it and the first thing he did was do lame comedy and make poop jokes. Talk about being lame at the wrong time. It wasn’t enough to hurt the segment but it definitely wasn’t necessary. If ever there was a time for them to script Cena seriously this was it. When he really gets into it and talks about his passion for the business there’s nobody better than John Cena. Let him come out and do that. Not everything has to be joke-joke before being serious. After that junk was over it got better again. Punk goaded Cena into punching him and that gave him the reason to tear up the contract. This is some of the best build for a rivalry on a non-major show in so long and I cannot wait for the match this Sunday.
All in all this was a tremendous Raw. There wasn’t much wrestling tonight but there didn’t need to be because we had CM Punk at his best.
Final Rating: ****
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Be sure to check out the Win-Loss Record of your favorite WWE Superstar on the main page! Also be sure to check out my Smackdown recap this Friday!
Thanks for reading!