Results courtesy of WWE.com
DALLAS – To say that the Dallas Mavericks owner, Mark Cuban, is a ?hands-on boss? would be a bit like saying Sheamus has a wee anger management problem. The exuberant billionaire makes sure he’s courtside for every one of the Mavs home games, cheering on his team from the sweat zone. All of which helps explain the Raw special guest host’s decision to sit ringside during the entire Raw broadcast rather than seclude himself in some cushy back office.
Sheamus attacked WWE Champion John Cena and Mark Cuban during WWE Championship TLC Championship Showdown
It was supposed to be a verbal joust, two men making their case and talking trash just six days before they collide at WWE TLC in a Tables Match. WWE Champion John Cena and Sheamus met in the ring with moderator, special guest host Mark Cuban. As the Dallas Mavs owner asked questions, The Celtic Warrior answered with bombast, stating why and how he will defeat The Champ. For his part, Cena demurred, finally asking his opponent whether he believes what he’s saying.
The question riled Sheamus. He appeared ready to leave the ring, but instead he attacked Cuban and took a cheap shot at the WWE Champion. When Cena came to, Sheamus kicked him in the skull to put him down again. That’s when The Celtic Warrior went all psycho on Cuban, slamming the host through a table!
DX vs. Chris Jericho ended in a No Contest (PHOTOS | WATCH)
Surprise, surprise. Rather than take his medicine like a man, Unified Tag Team Champion Chris Jericho relied on his partner, Big Show, to save his bacon. After losing to Triple H last week, the self-important Superstar was forced by stipulation this week to face The Game & Shawn Michaels in a 2-on-1 Handicap Match.
Just six days before the two teams clash in a TLC Match at WWE TLC, The World’s Largest Athlete interfered on his partner’s behalf. He and Jericho, perhaps in a preview of pain to come, attacked DX with a ladder and chair, leaving The Game and HBK trounced in their wake.
Dennis Miller to act as special guest host of The 2009 Slammy Awards
Don?t miss next week’s three-hour Raw as comedian Dennis Miller acts as special guest host as well as Master of Ceremonies for this year’s Slammy Awards. Join the king of the arcane reference as he keeps the audience’s heads spinning like Anne Boleyn at a samurai convention, cha-cha.
Eve & Hornswoggle def. Jillian & Chavo Guerrero
Chavo Guerrero appeared to be as steamed as a chicken tamale. The self-proclaimed ?Mexican Warrior? teamed with Jillian to face his own pint-size plague, Hornswoggle, and his partner, Eve.
When the final bell sounded, the gorgeous Eve had pinned the tone-deaf Diva to secure the win for her team. Guerrero snapped. Initially, he trained his fury on the leprechaun until he spotted the new DX-Hornswoggle T-shirt ?Swoggle wore. He then directed his anger at Eve. Before he could act, however, Chris Masters, who happened to be visiting with guest host Mark Cuban at ringside, interceded on the beauty’s behalf.
United States Champion The Miz def. Mark Henry
Deride Mark Henry at your own risk. Last week, United States Champion The Miz took to calling the Olympic veteran The World’s Blandest Man and paid for it with a loss. This week, the two met for a rematch, but this time, the so-called ?Awesome One? shockingly let his actions do the talking and defeated The World’s Strongest Man.
Kofi Kingston def. Randy Orton; Cuban announced Kofi vs. Orton at WWE TLC
On the court and in the ring, the men in the black-and-white stripes are both judge and jury. Which is why, when Randy Orton faced Kofi Kingston, one of the last people he wanted to see wearing the zebra attire was Mark Cuban. Six years earlier, Orton RKO?d the Dallas Mavericks owner during Survivor Series ? and Cuban never forgot it.
During the match, Kofi pushed Orton’s shoulders to canvas, but before The Viper had a chance to kick out, Cuban served up a cold dish of quick count, allowing Kofi the win. To make matters worse for Orton, Cuban then announced that The Viper must face The Dreadlock Dynamo in six days at WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs.
Maryse def. Gail Kim; Maryse attacked Kelly Kelly
While taking time off from a career, some people look deep inside their soul and resolve to be a kinder, more sympathetic human being. Maryse isn?t one of those people. Ever since her ring return, the conceited Canadian has been on a malicious, single-minded quest: Recapture the Divas Championship.
This week, the blond beauty battled Gail Kim while Kelly Kelly served as special guest ring announcer. Kim’s tenacity appeared to match up well against Maryse, but the match ended in the blond Diva’s favor when, with the referee’s back turned, she seized the opportunity to cheat and win.
Her depravity didn?t end there. When Kelly Kelly announced the winner, Maryse insisted that she designate her ?the next Divas Champion.? When Kelly Kelly refused, Maryse attacked, prompting current Divas Champion Melina to rush to her friend’s aid and jolt Maryse from the scene.
Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase def. Evan Bourne & Primo
Not only did Mark Cuban wield his power against Randy Orton, he also has it in for The Viper’s accomplices. After Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase harangued the guest host on Orton’s behalf, the boyish billionaire arranged a tag match between The Legacy and Evan Bourne & Primo.
While Bourne & Primo pushed Legacy to the limit on WWE Superstars last Thursday, Rhodes & DiBiase fielded everything thrown at them and chalked up a win for the effort. Before they could savor the victory, though, Cuban had the troublemaking twosome tossed from the arena by security. Take that, Legacy!
Cuban announced Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston tonight
Who could blame Mark Cuban if he held a grudge? After all, it was Randy Orton who administered a vicious RKO to Cuban at Survivor Series 2003. Paybacks, as they say, are ? well, they?re not very fun.
Despite protestations from The Viper, Cuban refused to lift the ban on him competing for another championship match as long as Cena holds the title. Not only that, the Mavs owner then insisted that Orton face his nemesis, Kofi Kingston, later that night after The Viper and Legacy attacked The Dreadlock Dynamo last week. Oh, and one more thing: To keep things clean, Cuban will act as special guest referee.
Special guest host Mark Cuban announced a TLC Showdown; WWE Champion John Cena def. Carlito
In keeping with his involved attitude, special guest host Mark Cuban informed the packed American Airlines Center that a TLC Showdown between WWE Champion John Cena and the No. 1 contender Sheamus will take place later in the night, during which they will each have the opportunity to speak their minds. Cuban then personally welcomed WWE Champion John Cena to the ring before taking his seat alongside several Mavs players and The Bella Twins.
Cena was scheduled to face Carlito, who last week informed The Champ that he and the entire Raw roster were hoping for Sheamus to defeat him during their WWE Championship Table Match at Sunday’s WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs pay-per-view.
During the bout, Sheamus approached the ring. While security swarmed around The Celtic Warrior, The Champ became distracted by the commotion. A cunning Carlito then attacked Cena from behind, but the WWE Champion managed to flip the script on the uncool customer and laid him out with an Attitude Adjustment.
Show Thoughts– This was one of the more oddly entertaining episodes I can remember in a long time. Everything was entertaining? in a weird way.
First off, hats off to Raw creative, who?re usually anything but. Still, this Cena-Sheamus feud has been booked really well. Seamus has been billed as more dangerous than monster-ish, and they?ve made all the right moves with him. The mini-promo packages tonight really tied everything together nicely I thought and I can?t help but feel a real sense of genuine freshness for a change. Sure, Seamus likely will drop the match on Sunday, but at this point, none of that really matters. What matters is that they?ve effectively created a character that?ll have a lot of mobility in the mid card in addition to really re-positioning Cena as a dominant champion with the actual booking to back it up for a change.
Kofi-Orton to me has tapered off a little bit, and some of my reservations about Kofi seem to be peaking their fingers up from the sewer so to speak. As much as I like the kid, even these mid-range matches haven?t been much of Kofi at all. They don?t necessarily have to be, but he’s not bringing a lot in his matches yet. In the promos, angles and tag matches he is, but I?ve really yet to see anything blow away from him from a singles standpoint.
I think it’s safe to call Maryse a real difference maker in the Divas division. She brings an energy to the group that no one else seemingly can, and while she doesn?t exactly have a great move set or even execute well, she’s one of those cases of ?it’s not what you do, it’s how you do it?. She’s got more charisma in her pinky finger than the rest of the divas roster has combined. Seriously. I?ll take a few botched slams and awkward bumps in order to watch her really develop over the course of the next few years. She’s going to be really good. And Eve Torres deserves an honorable mention here, too. She’s got baby face charisma, which is a hard find in a time when everyone wants to be a mini-Dynamite Kid clone or a badass heel.
Henry-Miz was a fun little match again this week, although I?d be more interested to see them go for 10+ minutes at this point. It wasn?t anything to do back flips for, but it was a pretty solid short match. There were a lot of those tonight.
DX-Jerishow doesn?t interest me that much, but Chris Masters turning face does? so I dunno. Weird Raw this week, but in a totally good way. Funny segments, strong short matches and some pretty solid angles make this a pretty good TV show this week.
Overall Grade: B
John Cena def. Carlito
The Legacy def. Carlito & Evan Bourne
Maryse def. Gail Kim
Kofi Kingston def. Randy Orton
The Miz def. Mark Henry to RETAIN the US Championship
Eve Torres & Hornswoggle def. Chavo Guererro & Jillian Hall
Chris Jericho vs. DX went to a no contest
Who’s Hot, Who’s Not?
1. John Cena
2. Kofi Kingston
3. D-Generation X
4. Mark Henry
1. Randy Orton
2. Chris Jericho
4. The Miz
Match of the Night: The Miz vs. Mark Henry, **
4 Points= World Title defense/win
3 Points= Singles PPV Win
2 Points= Tag PPV Win
2 Points= TV Singles Win
1 Point= TV Tag Win
0 Points= Loss
WWE Champion John Cena 26-17-5, 60 points. (Last Week: WWE Champion) — If the WWE’s goal was to re-position Cena as a dominant champion, then they?ve done a really admirable job in doing so. Again, a lot of the backlash is due to a disconnect in booking, not necessarily Cena, himself.
United States Champion: The Miz 15-12-2, 29 Points (Last Week: US Champion)— Decent effort. Still, despite being US Champion, he seems to be floating around aimlessly lately. It?d be nice to see them put him in some sort of television program.
1. Triple H 13-10-4-1, 23 Points (Last Week: 1)– Fun on the funny stuff, but other than that a pretty quiet night for the Game.
2. Kofi Kingston 27-8-2, 52 points (Last Week: 3)–Look OK tonight, but I?ve got some reservations about him still. Both outings with Orton one on one have been a little flat, and while they?ve done a good job protecting him in tags and big angles, I?ve yet to be convinced he can hold his own one on one for 10+ minutes. This pay per view will be a big test for him.
3. Randy Orton 19-19-5, 48 pts. (Last Week: 2)–While on its face, the Kingston feud seems to be all about Kingston, it’s a big feud for Randy. Demonstrating he can take someone considerably lower on the totem pole and get him over and carry him to a good match is something we?ve yet to really see from Orton. He’s got something to prove on Sunday night.
4. Shawn Michaels (Last Week: 4)–Eh performance in his match tonight. Fun comedy stuff but other than that, another hum-drum night for Michaels.
5. Big Show 13-18-1, 21 Points (Last Week: 5)— Quiet on the run in, but really nothing of note.
6. Seamus 6-0-0, 10 Points (Last Week: 7) —For the first time in a long time, we?ve got a really fresh, really interesting challenger at the top of the card. Say what you will about the green-ness of Seamus. He’s in good hands and has been put over pretty well. It’s nice to not have the internet speculating about booking directions and whatnot and just being excited for a fun match.
7. Mark Henry, 17-7, 28 Points (Last Week: 6)— Another pretty fun performance this week with the Miz in a losing effort. Henry’s another guy whose kind of meandering and with Chris Masters being pushed behind him, it might be a decent idea to consider a brand switch for the big man.
8. Cody Rhodes 17-18-3, 23 points (Last Week: 8)–Good promo from Rhodes this week and a solid enough performance in the ring. The momentum from the DX feud though.. has been squandered.
9. Ted Dibiase, Jr. 14-16-3, 16 Points (Last Week: 9)–See Cody.
10. Jack Swagger, 10-10-2, 18 Points (Last Week: 10) —Not in action.
MVP 17-12-2, 25 Points (Last Week: NR)
Evan Bourne, 8-13, 10 Points (Last Week: NR)
Chris Masters 1-5-1, 1 Point (Last Week: NR)
Santino Marella 5-5, 10 points (Last Week: NR)
Carlito Colon 5-11-1, 7 Points (Last Week: NR)
Primo Colon 4-11-2, 4 Points (Last Week: NR)
Brian Kendrick 1-6-0, 2 Points (Last Week: NR)
Hornswaggle 8-1-0, 11 Points (Last Week: NR)
Jerry Lawler 1-0, 1 points (Last Week: NR)
Festus 1-1-0, 1 Points (Last Week: NR)
Chavo Guerrero 2-21-0, 2 Points (Last Week: NR)
Jamie Noble 0-5, 0 Points (Last Week: NR)
Jim Duggan 0-0, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Eugene 0-1-0, 0 Points (Last Week: RELEASED)
Batista 9-4, 18 Points (Last Week: MOVED TO SMACKDOWN)
Matt Hardy 3-8-0, 4 Points (Last Week: TRADED TO SMACKDOWN)
William Regal, 3-10, 4 points (Last Week: TRADED TO ECW )
Goldust 2-1-0, 2 Points (Last Week: TRADED TO ECW)
Kane 7-7, 12 Points DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
Mike Knox 3-3 4 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
JTG 2-4, 2 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
Big Shaad 2-3 2 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
Charlie Haas 0-0, 0 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
Dolph Ziggler 0-3, 0 Points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
CM Punk 9-7, 17 Points DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
Rey Mysterio 11-6, 22 Points DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
Chris Jericho 6-7 13 pts. DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
JBL 1-6, 4 points (Last Week: 7) RETIRED
Mr. Kennedy 1-0-0, 1 Points (Last Week: RELEASED)
Sim Snuka 1-0, 1 Point (Last Week: RELEASED)