Results courtesy of WWE.com
BALTIMORE – Big things, small packages. You know the saying. And never has it held more true than when diminutive Hollywood actor Verne Troyer dropped by as special guest host of Raw in the run-up to the WWETLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs pay-per-view.
Triple H def. Unified Tag Team Champion Chris Jericho
Just before heading out to confront Chris Jericho, Triple H and Shawn Michaels were irked by Hornswoggle when the little guy reminded them that he hasn’t given up on the idea of taking legal action against the two for emotional distress.
Unified Tag Team Champion Chris Jericho is none too pleased. During his no count-outs, no disqualifications match against Triple H, the mouthy egomaniac enjoyed several opportunities to put away his opponent, but he simply could not overcome The Game. While that fact alone is enough to leave a welt, the sting becomes compounded by the realization that he must now face DX next week in a 2-on-1 Handicap Match, a match that Triple H insisted will be Jericho’s last on Raw once DX takes the gold away from Jeri-Show.
With Jericho staring down the barrel of a 2-on-1 situation against DX, the momentum clearly shifts to Triple H & Shawn Michaels as the two teams look toward their TLC Match at WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs.
Next week’s special guest will be Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban
They say everything is bigger in Texas ? even the controversy. To prove it, the ever-opinionated owner of the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks, Mark Cuban, will be honored as special guest host next week when Raw rolls into Dallas.
Mark Henry def. United States Champion The Miz in a Non-Title Match
Being The World’s Strongest Man doesn?t mean you have the world’s thickest skin. After The Miz questioned whether Mark Henry had any personality, the big guy’s feelings appeared bruised. Just to prove Miz wrong, Henry laid down a slammin? rap with special guest host Verne Troyer. Then, after pumping up the crowd, Henry proceeded to beat down The Miz.
The World’s Strongest Man and the ?Mini Me? actor then invited a bouquet of Divas out, and they all danced in the center of the ring to celebrate.
John Cena called out Sheamus
Having survived being blindsided by Sheamus the week prior, WWE Champion John Cena dared The Celtic Warrior to try and slam him through a table again. Rather than Sheamus, though, The Champ received Carlito in the ring.
The Boriqua brother admitted that were Cena to lose at WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs, Carlito and, allegedly, a host of other Superstars would cheer at the tops of their lungs. Carlito described how he and others are tired of always seeing Cena’s name atop the marquee. Before Carlito could spit his trademark apple in The Champ’s face, though, Cena beat him down and sent him scurrying. That’s when Sheamus showed, but he only stared Cena down before leaving to fight another day.
Randy Orton def. Kofi Kingston
If you can?t beat ?em ? get two cronies to soften ?em up first ? call it The Orton Creed. Before Randy Orton’s match against Kofi Kingston, his Legacy henchmen, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase, each executed separate attacks on The Dreadlock Dynamo. Determined to carry on, Kofi insisted he felt up to the challenge of Orton. Despite a valiant effort, however, Kingston appeared too fazed by the previous strikes and fell to Orton, who continued to viciously assail his opponent long after the bell.
Special guest host Verne Troyer arranged United States Champion The Miz vs. Mark Henry
Leave it to The Miz to come up with a line that took all the creative energy of two hamsters on a treadmill. The United States Champion promised special guest host Verne Troyer that he would be nice to him and even give the actor, who stars in the upcoming fantasy adventure film The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, one million dollars! Get it? Like in Austin Powers? Ugh.
After Troyer mentally disarmed Miz, the self-proclaimed ?Awesome One? was set to punt the little guy when Mark Henry decided to put the bully in his place. After more verbal vomit from Miz, Troyer finally decided to arrange a match pitting the United States Champion against The World’s Strongest Man. Yeeeaahhh, baby!
Sheamus pummeled Santino Marella
Sheamus doesn?t exactly come across as a lampshade-on-the-head type of guy. Which may explain why he became enraged at not being taken seriously last week just before he attacked WWE Champion John Cena during a contract signing for their Tables Match at WWE TLC. To emphasize the point, this week The Celtic Warrior challenged the only Superstar on the Raw roster he considers ?a joke,? Santino Marella. Before the bout could even take place, though, Sheamus pummeled Santino, hurling him through a table and dismissively leaving him immobile.
Maryse & Jillian def. Divas Champion Melina & Gail Kim
After disguising herself as The Gobbledy Gooker last week and ambushing Melina from behind, Maryse was forced this week to face the Divas Champion head-on. The conceited Canadian teamed with Jillian in a clash against the lovely Latina & Gail Kim. Perhaps her time recovering from injury fueled Maryse since she actually managed to pin Melina without making any poultry excuses.
Jeri-Show and DX arranged Chris Jericho vs. Triple H for tonight
With less than two weeks until WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs, Unified Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho & Big Show presented their case against their rivals straight to the WWE Universe. The two rattled off a list of reasons they felt DX was unworthy of facing them in a Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match.
For their part, DX objected ? strenuously. Triple H & Shawn Michaels stated that they?re eager to shut the mouths of their opponents once and for all. In fact, The Game challenged Jericho to a singles match, which the self-important Superstar grudgingly accepted. The four even figured out a way to raise the stakes. The match will involve no count-outs or disqualifications, and the loser must face the opposing team next week in a 2-on-1 Handicap Match.
Show Thoughts–Overall Grade: B+
Maryse & Jillian Hall def. Mickie James and Melina
Sheamus def. Santino Marella
Randy Orton def. Kofi Kingston
Mark Henry def. The Miz
Triple H def. Chris Jericho
Who’s Hot, Who’s Not?
1. John Cena
2. Kofi Kingston
3. D-Generation X
4. Mark Henry
1. Randy Orton
2. Chris Jericho
4. The Miz
Match of the Night: Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston ***
4 Points= World Title defense/win
3 Points= Singles PPV Win
2 Points= Tag PPV Win
2 Points= TV Singles Win
1 Point= TV Tag Win
0 Points= Loss
WWE Champion John Cena 25-17-5, 58 points. (Last Week: WWE Champion) — He’s finally starting to look like a Champion again. From the fancy car, to the attitude, to daring people to take what’s his, he really looked like he should have looked the last few months: as the guy to beat. Period.
United States Champion: The Miz 14-12-2, 27 Points (Last Week: US Champion)— Henry was the one who really brought the WORK tonight in their match, but this is a good match up for Miz. He’s a guy that IMO, needs to work on bumping big time, and in a feud with a guy like Mark Henry, he?ll have to do a lot of it. Miz’s character is all about being mouth and antagonistic. Those characters HAVE to be able to bump well. So hopefully that comes around in a program with Henry.
1. Triple H 13-10-4, 23 Points (Last Week: 1)– It’s just so hard to get into this act anymore. Not a knock on the guy, but the Jericho/Show/DX stuff felt really out of place on the show that made them famous. Kind of a weird feeling.
3. Randy Orton 19-18-5, 48 pts. (Last Week: 2)–Orton’s become a really good offensive worker. He’s still not a great bumper, and for the most part is pretty mediocre at selling, but everything else is there in spades. Great stuff with Kofi again tonight.
3. Kofi Kingston 26-8-2, 50 points (Last Week: 2)–What a fantastic angle for Kofi this week. Sure he loses, sure I bump him down a notch, but in the long run, what a great idea. With no blading, it’s hard to get baby face resilience through ?toughness? over anymore. They did as good a job as you can do without sticking yourself.
4. Shawn Michaels (Last Week: 4)–See Triple H.
5. Big Show 13-18-1, 21 Points (Last Week: 5)— Not in action
6. Mark Henry, 17-6, 28 Points (Last Week: 6)— This guy’s talent at this point, is pretty obvious. There just doesn?t seem to be any creative direction with him. It was nice they kept him on TV and all this week, but he could really use a feud. Maybe this Miz program may work out.
7. Seamus 6-0-0, 10 Points (Last Week: 9) —They?ve done a really fantastic job of building the big man up for this match. It was a fantastic move sticking him in a squash match with Santino, whose a guy who can really help Sheamus get some more heat. Good call this week.
8. Cody Rhodes 16-18-3, 22 points (Last Week: 7)–These guys seem to really be floating around more or less aimlessly right now. They?re really at a point where they should consider doing SOMETHING with these two, as the heat from the DX feud will wear off quickly.
9. Ted Dibiase, Jr. 13-16-3, 15 Points (Last Week: 8)–See Cody.
10. Jack Swagger, 10-10-2, 18 Points (Last Week: 9) —Not in action.
MVP 17-12-2, 25 Points (Last Week: NR)
Evan Bourne, 8-12, 10 Points (Last Week: NR)
Chris Masters 1-5-1, 1 Point (Last Week: NR)
Santino Marella 5-5, 10 points (Last Week: NR)
Carlito Colon 5-10-1, 7 Points (Last Week: NR)
Primo Colon 4-10-2, 4 Points (Last Week: NR)
Brian Kendrick 1-6-0, 2 Points (Last Week: NR)
Hornswaggle 7-1-0, 10 Points (Last Week: NR)
Jerry Lawler 1-0, 1 points (Last Week: NR)
Festus 1-1-0, 1 Points (Last Week: NR)
Chavo Guerrero 2-20-0, 2 Points (Last Week: NR)
Jamie Noble 0-5, 0 Points (Last Week: NR)
Jim Duggan 0-0, 0 points (Last Week: NR)
Eugene 0-1-0, 0 Points (Last Week: RELEASED)
Batista 9-4, 18 Points (Last Week: MOVED TO SMACKDOWN)
Matt Hardy 3-8-0, 4 Points (Last Week: TRADED TO SMACKDOWN)
William Regal, 3-10, 4 points (Last Week: TRADED TO ECW )
Goldust 2-1-0, 2 Points (Last Week: TRADED TO ECW)
Kane 7-7, 12 Points DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
Mike Knox 3-3 4 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
JTG 2-4, 2 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
Big Shaad 2-3 2 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
Charlie Haas 0-0, 0 points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
Dolph Ziggler 0-3, 0 Points (Last Week: DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN)
CM Punk 9-7, 17 Points DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
Rey Mysterio 11-6, 22 Points DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
Chris Jericho 6-7 13 pts. DRAFTED TO SMACKDOWN
JBL 1-6, 4 points (Last Week: 7) RETIRED
Mr. Kennedy 1-0-0, 1 Points (Last Week: RELEASED)
Sim Snuka 1-0, 1 Point (Last Week: RELEASED)