Are you ready? Then stop questioning your heart and join me because it’s time for Monday Night RAW!
The show opens with a video of the tattoo-laden Punk winning his Summerslam match against John Cena and the Big Show to retain the WWE Championship.
The intro video plays and pyro erupts throughout the arena. Jerry Lawler gets in the ring to address his comment towards CM Punk, which he apologized for last week. He entered the ring and apologized, only to be kicked in the back of the head! (Punk is heely like that now). Lawler demands that CM Punk come out and issue him an apology for the attack.
CM Punk’s music hits and he walks down to the ring with a brand new haircut and beard combo. His head is shaved and he has an attitude. Punk tells Lawler that he isn’t a bad guy and didn’t turn his back on anyone. It was Lawler that turned his back on the WWE Universe when he slandered the WWE Champion. It’s for that lack of respect that caused Punk to kick him in the head. Punk claims he didn’t attack him from behind. Punk decides to go after Lawler and says that he is only in the Hall of Fame for beating nobodies in Memphis and slapping a Hollywood celebrity. Punk is sorry that Lawler never won the WWE belt, and when he finally got his Wrestlemania moment he couldn’t even beat Michael Cole. Punk says he is sorry for the man that Lawler has become. He asks if he has touched a nerve, if Lawler wants to fight him. Punk says Lawler is just a commentator, while he is the best in the world. Everyone knows that Punk would embarrass Lawler.
Lawler says that he came out here for an apology not a fight. Punk says he knows, but he can tell that Lawler wants to fight. Punk asks if he isn’t the best in the world, then who is. Is Lawler? One way or another Lawler is going to leave the arena embarrassed tonight. Lawler gives Punk an icy stare with his cold blue eyes as the WWE champion walks to the back while yelling about respect. Lawler takes the mic for one final word and declares that he will “think about it”.
Jack Swagger v. Ryback
Swagger kicks him in the gut, but gets whipped into the ropes and floored with a clothesline. Ryback bashes his head against the mat and then lifts him to his feet. He immediately chucks Swagger back to the mat face first. Swagger hits a shoulder take down, and then yells in Ryback’s face.
Ryback blocks a second rope splash and counters an ankle lock. Ryback tosses Swagger into the air for a terribly botched back body drop that sends Swagger to the mat straight on his head. The crowd still goes along with his feed me more chant, and he hits his strong clothesline. Ryback hits his finisher, which I guess the commentators are never going to call by name for me, and this match is over. Seriously, I know I could probably go look it up on WWE.com, but how about the commentators actually do their job? I know, I’m asking too much.
Winner via Who the hell knows what it’s called: Ryback
Michael Cole asks Lawler if he is going to face Punk tonight. Lawler responds that he is thinking about it.
Natalya v. Layla
They go back and forth at the start with Layla attempting a quick cover. Natalya pulls back the ring cover and traps Layla in between. They get back into the ring and Natalya looks for the sharpshooter. Layla kicks her away, only to be kicked in the gut.
Vickie Guerrero is at ringside for this match with a microphone.
Layla tires for a small package, but Natalya kicks out. Layla immediately responds with a kick square to the back of the head and this match is thankfully over.
Winner via Kick: Layla
After the match, Vickie gets into the ring and asks Layla to leave. Excuse me! Her screeching voice talks about Ziggler essentially forcing Chris Jericho out of the WWE. Vickie is upset about the other stipulation which would have made Ziggler relinquish his MitB contract if he lost. Vickie says that the WWE Board of Directors needs to put the show back into the hands of her, instead of the mentally damaged child that is AJ Lee.
AJ’s music hits and she comes down to the ring. She is all smiles as she takes the microphone away from Vickie. She then proceeds to slap her across the face! AJ mounts Vickie and starts to unload! Vickie is forced to hightail it out of the ring.
AJ composes herself as the crowd starts to chant “yes”.
# We cut to a shot of an Anger Management session. Daniel Bryan is present and denies that he has Anger Management problems. A child walks in wearing a goat mask. Bryan immediately goes after him shouting no. Someone in the group claims that it is their kid.
Jerry Lawler gets up on his announce table and puts over his history. Lawler says that he doesn’t know how long Punk would have lasted down in Tennessee. Jerry even takes a moment to put over Andy Kaufman. Lawler admits that he knows he isn’t the best in the world, but he doesn’t think that Punk is either. Lawler has never backed down from a challenge in his life so that isn’t going to stop tonight. Lawler promises to fight tonight.
John Cena v. The Miz
They square off and Miz hits a take down. Cena gets back to his feet and hits an arm drag. Cena takes down Miz to the mat with a side headlock as we head to commercial.
Back from the break, Miz takes the control with by sending Cena to the mat. He climbs up the turnbuckle and leaps for an axe handle. Miz locks on a side headlock of his own. Miz tries for a vertical suplex, but Cena counters into one of his own. Miz hits his backbreaker – neckbreaker combo. Cover, but Cena kicks out. Miz is holding his back in pain as he kicks Cena squarely in the jaw. Cena locks on the STF, but Miz crawls towards the rope. Miz attempts a splash, but Cena moves out of the way. Cena goes for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle and connects! Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment and this match is over.
Winner via AA: John Cena
# Back to Anger Management. Bryan laments about the fact that his current boss is his ex-fiancé that left him at the altar on live TV. We find out that another patient has just arrived. Kane walks into the room. Bryan is not happy.
Heath Slater v. Santino
Santino gets behind him and hits a nice takedown. They each do a bit of air guitar and then Slater kicks him down to the mat. Cover, but Santino kicks out. Slater knees him in the back and drops an elbow. Slater chokes Santino against the second rope. Santino sneaks in a roll up, but Slater kicks out. Santino hits an arm drag and goes for the cobra.
Aksana’s music hits and distracts Santino. Slater tires for a sneak attack, but Santino connects with the cobra and picks up the victory.
Winner via Roll Up: Santino
As a side note, after Lawler’s address earlier, Josh Mathews joined in on commentary.
Sin Cara & Brodus Clay v. Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow
Rhodes starts the match against Cara. Sandow gets the tag and gets in a couple of kicks before tagging back in his partner. Cara hits a head scissors on Rhodes. Cover, but Rhodes kicks out. Sandow runs in to the ring to help Rhodes kick out. Cara flies over the top rope at him. Clay hits his splash on Cody and this match is over.
Winners: Sin Cara & Brodus Clay
# Kane is in Anger Management and decides to open up to the group. He says he is the devil’s favorite demon. What makes him angry is his childhood. It’s a brilliant segment that you should definitely look up on youtube.
Daniel Bryan v. R-Truth
Truth goes for a quick cover, but Bryan kicks out. Bryan is sent over the top rope to the outside. Truth follows after and grabs a mic. He tells Little Jimmy that he knows where he is. He starts doing some yes chants. Bryan is not happy. He starts to chant no. Truth slides back into the ring as the referee counts. This match is over.
HHH’s music hits and he makes his way down to the ring. He talks about how when he leaves he always wants to come back and be better than before. Perhaps by losing to Lesnar he answered his own question of whether or not he has it any more. HHH looks about to cry as he thanks the fans for the reactions that they always give him each and every week. He thanks the fans one last time as he drops the mic to leave the ring.
Chris Jericho’s music hits but he doesn’t come out. Instead, Ziggler’s music hits and it is he that walks out. He says that because of his victory last night we will never see Jericho again.
Dolph Ziggler & Alberto Del Rio v. Sheamus & Randy Orton
Back from the break, Ziggler come in off of the tag and starts to attack Orton. Ziggler gets behind him with a rear headlock. Del Rio escapes and attempts a splash. Sheamus comes in off a strong tag and takes out Ziggler. He hits him with a backbreaker and goes for the cover, Del Rio makes the save. The referee gets Del Rio out of the ring, but as he is doing this Ricardo tries to throw the MitB case into the ring. Sheamus grabs it and uses it to his advantage. This match is over.
Winners: Sheamus & Randy Orton
# Jerry Lawler is in the back talking to Cena. He says that he is fighting CM Punk for himself.
Kane’s music hits and he has joined in on commentary for the next match.
Zack Ryder v. David Otunga
Otunga kicks him in the gut and tosses him towards the corner. Ryder fights back only to be caught with an elbow. Otunga tosses him towards the corner again and this time he connects with a clothesline. Cover, but Ryder kicks out. Otunga gets on the side with a headlock. Otunga this a snap suplex and goes for the cover, again Ryder kicks out. David whips him towards the ropes but is sent head first into the ring. Ryder hits his leg drop, and this match is over!
Winner: Zack Ryder
After the match Kane gets in the ring and looks to chokeslam Ryder. He releases him and chokeslams Otunga instead!
The fans have voted that Jerry Lawler will face CM Punk in a cage match. AJ comes out to announce that CM Punk will face John Cena at Night of Champions!
Steel Cage Match
CM Punk v. Jerry Lawler
Punk offers off his chin for the first shot to Lawler. Lawler connects with a vintage right hook. Punk goes right after him and backs him in the corner. Punk kicks him down to the ground. Punk gets behind him for a choke. Punk climbs to the top rope and is looking for the elbow. Lawler runs towards him and knocks him off the rope. Lawler heads towards the door and looks to escape. Punk pulls him back into the ring. Punk locks back on a choke. Lawler starts to fight back. Punk locks on the Anaconda Vice and Lawler starts to struggle. Lawler has no choice but to tap and this match is over.
Winner: CM Punk
After the match, Punk grabs a mic and tries to get Jerry to admit that he is the best wrestler in the world. Lawler says hell no.
John Cena runs down to the ring and demands that they lift the cage up. The cage starts to lift and Punk heads out of the ring. He reiterates that he is the best in the world.
CM Punk has a new haircut that should help steel in his harder heel character. I do need to address his beard for a moment though – what’s up with the lack of hair on the chin? It’s kind of obnoxious, but that’s CM Punk in a nutshell I suppose. His comments about Memphis and Kaufman were the kind of digs that we’ve grown to anticipate since his fabled pipe bomb. They are references that not many fans will understand, but for the rest of us may garner a chuckle.
If I didn’t espouse upon it enough in the actual recap, it’s quite annoying that neither Cole nor Lawler feel the need to call Ryback’s finisher by name. Honestly, I looked through WWE.com and his bio and couldn’t find the damn name of the move. Just makes my life more difficult.
Swagger – your hair makes you look like a tool.
Nothing special came out of the Divas match. Vickie declaring that she wants to be the new RAW GM is a bit annoying. Not that AJ is all that great, or that Vickie would be bad – it’s just that I thought the whole musical chairs for RAW GM was finally over.
John Cena v. The Miz was forgettable at best. Nothing of importance happened.
I don’t at all care about Santino and Aksana’s relationship.
Sin Cara and Brodus Clay are an odd combination. I’m sure it was a one off because of the feuds, but it was still really weird.
Kane opening up to an anger management class is one of the finest segments that I’ve ever seen.
HHH of course breaks down during his little rant. Does it really matter at this point? I think not.
Ricardo kind of screwed up the match with the briefcase move. It was an interesting method but obviously failed. It was kind of like the game of monopoly I played the other night. Except I never played it. Think about it.
Cena v. Punk for Night of Champions is what we expected. This will probably be when Cena takes back the Title, but one can hope.
It was nice to see Zack Ryder show up on RAW. Sure, all he did was pick up a victory over Otunga, but it’s a start.
Punk v. Lawler was a quick match that was what it needed to be. It helps get over the heel punk in a way that I doubt any other opponent would have pulled off. Cena coming to the aid of Lawler should in theory help him in the eyes of fans, but let’s be honest. No one cares anymore. It’s cliché but haters gonna hate. When it comes to Cena, you can believe that they are gonna hate.
The Teacher’s Lounge (Saturday)
“The Teacher’s Lounge” is a weekly podcast archived every Saturday on the Wrestleview Radio Network featuring hosts David Stephens and “Mr. V” Anthony Valvo. The show reviews all of the news from the week, tosses out Gold Stars and Detentions, PPV previews and special guests. Past Interviews include: Colt Cabana, Hernandez, Sara Del Rey, CZW Owner DJ Hyde, Shane Douglas & more!