Are you ready? Then stop questioning your heart and join me because it’s time for Monday Night RAW!
The show opens with Paul Heyman standing in the ring preparing to strut around the WWE Champion, who has seated himself on a steel chair. Heyman has a mic and introduces himself to the crowd. He puts Punk over as the best in the world. Heyman says that the show is grinding to a halt right about now. RAW will not be presented tonight until justice is served.
Video airs of CM Punk clearly having his foot on the rope during a match with John Cena.
Heyman claims it was an injustice to the reign of CM Punk. He calls out Brad Maddox, last week’s referee during that match. He walks down to the ring. Maddox apologies and says that he made a mistake. It was his first main event match and he was nervous. Maddox feels terribly. Heyman berates him for making the mistake and demands he resign. Maddox apologies, but can’t do that to himself.
Punk leaps up and verbally attacks Maddox. He asks how this guy is even employed? How does he walk down here and pretend to be a man? Maddox says that when RAW expanded to 3 hours he received a call from GM AJ Lee because they needed more refs.
Heyman is furious and calls Maddox a scab. (They are clearly playing off of the NFL officiating drama)
Heyman pulls out a sleep mask that includes both the WWE and NFL logos. He says Maddox can use it to go to sleep. Punk says that if AJ Lee was good at her job she would have fired him. He calls AJ an idiot.
AJ’s music hits and she prances around the ring. She dismisses Brad to the back. Heyman welcomes her to her own show. He says that he is sure she is out here to correct her decision. AJ says she isn’t going to let someone come out here and take her show hostage. She asks Heyman who the hell he thinks he is. Punk says that as the Champion he knows who he is. He is the one bringing in the money that allows AJ to have a paycheck! Punk says that they both know what the real issue is. He plays a video to explain why AJ has it out for him.
A clip plays of AJ proposing to Punk on RAW. Punk says that is the reason there is so much tension between the two of them. He claims she sent that ref out to screw him. Punk says there are hundreds of messages that aren’t fit to air on the USA Network. He’s sorry for embarrassing her and then drops a line about being the best in the world intimately with her. Heyman takes over. He drops to one knee and asks her to marry him. He says if she marries him her wildest fantasies of power will be met beyond belief. They will even surpass HHH and Stephanie. They’ll be the most influential company in WWE history. They’ll rule the Universe together. Heyman says he likes them young, dumb and ambitious.
AJ slaps Heyman across the face!
J.R. reacts that Heyman is a slimeball.
Maddox is in the back with another ref chatting. AJ walks up and Maddox apologizes to her. She says that if it does she will personally see to it that he never works in this business again. She put him in the main event and he embarrassed her. He made her look like an idiot. AJ appears to go almost catatonic until he walks away. She then proceeds to cry.
Excuse Me! Vickie comes out and introduces Dolph Ziggler. Kofi Kingston makes his way down to the ring with R-Truth next. Truth goes to sit on commentary with Little Jimmy. He has popcorn and soda for Little Jimmy. Dolph comes over to argue that he doesn’t want Truth out here. Truth tosses the soda on Vickie. Truth and Vickie head to the back.
Kofi Kingston v. Dolph Ziggler
They exchange blows back and forth at the start. Ziggler is tossed out of the ring. Kofi flips over the top rope to clobber him on the outside.
Dolph hits an exploder suplex and goes for the cover. Kofi kicks out. Ziggler cinches on a headlock and turns it into a neckbreaker. Kofi kicks out of another cover. Kofi dodges a splash from Ziggler. They exchange a back and forth of jabs until Kofi sets in with his Boom Drop combo. Ziggler dodges a Trouble in Paradise and they counter each other until Kofi is able to go for a cover. Ziggler kicks out. Kofi takes to the top rope and leaps for a high crossbody. Cover but Ziggler kicks out. Ziggler goes for the Zig Zag, but Kofi turns it into the S.O.S.! Ziggler kicks out of the cover!
Ziggler and Kofi bounce off the turnbuckles each jumping until Kofi hits a high crossbody. Dolph kicks out at the last second. Dolph tosses Kofi into the corner which sucks out all of the momentum. Ziggler hits his finisher and this match is over.
Winner via Zig Zag: Dolph Ziggler
Video Recap: Daniel Bryan and Kane on Smackdown
Video: Daniel Bryan and his Anger Management counselor in a Diner with Kane taking his order.
Zack Ryder & Santino v. Darren Young & Titus O’Neill
Ryder and Young start the match. Ryder ducks a clothesline but plants himself on the middle rope. Still in control Young tries to flip Ryder over his back but instead Ryder lands on his feet and tags in Santino. Santino hits a diving headbutt and goes for the cover. Titus runs in to makes the save. Ryder also runs in and tosses out Titus. Ryder is thrown into the steel post. Young tags in Titus, but Santino doesn’t see the tag as he puts on the Cobra. Titus slams him down hard to the mat with a Spinebuster and this match is over.
Winners: Prime Time Players
Mick Foley’s music hits! He makes his way down to the ring as the 9 o’clock hour begins. He says that he comes to us tonight as a card carrying member of the WWE Universe. He occasionally sees things on RAW that inspire him. One of these was a year ago when he saw the emergence of CM Punk. He asks what kind of change Punk has actually brought about.
CM Punk’s music hits and he makes his way down to the ring. He tells Foley to not come out here and grandstand in front of all these people. Foley is just trying to remain relevant. He is actually here because he is selling a new kids book. Foley says that that isn’t why he is here. Foley says that after Punk shocked the World by becoming the WWE Champion just like he would assume that hundreds did. But, Punk immediately responded and thanks Foley saying that it meant a lot coming from him. So, Foley is clearly still relevant. Punk goes after the crowd and tells them that he doesn’t need their help.
Foley says that while he used to be a Paul Heyman guy he didn’t start to really get what he wanted until he got away from Heyman. Foley says that at the end of the day Heyman is going to do what is best for Heyman. Foley asks why one of the best talkers we’ve ever seen in the business needs a mouthpiece.
Punk yawns and asks if they are done. Foley puts over the upcoming Hell in a Cell PPV. He says that that is the night that he earned respect 14 years ago. The Cell makes people great. Just ask Michaels, HHH or The Undertaker.
Punk tells Foley it was a brilliant speech. Foley says that Punk should prove he is the best in the world by stepping in the Hell in a Cell with Cena. Punk says that he has heard that whole speech several times before and fulfilled it several times before.
Punk says he doesn’t know how many times he needs to beat John Cena to prove he is the best in the world, but what he does know is that he doesn’t need the help of the crowd. Foley roars to life and says that in his estimation Punk needs one more moment of greatness. He begs Punk to make the best decision.
Ryback v. The Miz
Miz nails the first punch and follows with some kicks. Ryback sends him to the mat with one punch. He pushes him towards the corner and slams his shoulder into Miz. Miz tries for a neckbreaker, but Ryback instead slams him down hard to the mat. Miz rolls out of the ring.
Ryback follows after and tosses Miz back into the ring. Miz kicks Ryback into the head a couple of times and connects with a DDT. Cover, but Ryback tosses him off. Ryback lifts Miz up into the air for a Powerbomb. A fan runs into the ring as Ryback hits his clothesline. Alrighty then, he is quickly taken out by security. Ryback hits Shellshock and this match is over.
AJ is in her office with a few referees. She tells that that everyone makes mistakes and it is okay. They should have a great rest of the show.
Alberto Del Rio walks up with Ricardo and Otunga. She says that all three of them have been victims of the Brogue Kick. She has a way for them to get their revenge. Tonight the three of them will take on Sheamus, Rey & Sin Cara.
Tyson Kidd v. Wade Barrett
Kidd is strong at the start using his quickness to nail some dropkicks and strong kicks. Kidd is ultimately met with a kick to the gut. Wade hits him with a clothesline and then knees him repeatedly in the gut. Wade continues on the attack until Kidd is able to sneak in a roll up. Barrett kicks out. He gets behind Kidd and nails him with his Souvenir Elbow.
Winner: Wade Barrett
Michael Cole appears in the ring to recap Lawler’s heart attack on RAW two weeks ago. Lawler appears via satellite. He discusses his traumatic experience and thanks the WWE Universe for their support.
David Otunga, Alberto Del Rio & Ricardo Rodriguez v. Sheamus, Sin Cara & Rey Mysterio
Back from the break the match is already under way. Sheamus and Otunga fight in the ring until Cara gets the tag. Ricardo quickly gets the tag and actually manages to get in a cover. Cara immediately kicks out. Del Rio gets the tag and goes for a cover of his own off of a suplex. Cara kicks out. Del Rio kicks him hard and tries for another cover. Cara kicks out. Ricardo asks for the tag and gets it. He attempts to take off Cara’s mask. Sin Cara responds with a tilt-a-whirl arm drag.
Rey and Rio get the tags. Rey takes him down to the mat and goes for a cover. Rio kicks out. Rey climbs up to the top, but Rio kicks him in the back of the head. Rey falls to the mat. Otunga comes in off of a tag and geos to work on Rey. He slams him down and asks if Ricardo wants some action. Otunga holds on to Rey and tags in Ricardo. He punches Rey in the gut and tries for a cover. Rey tries to scoot away so Otunga gets the tag. Del Rio is quickly tagged as well and hits an enziguiri. Rio has a chinlock applied. Rey rolls through a cover and hits a dropkick to the face.
Sheamus finally gets in the match and knees Otunga hard in the side. Sheamus lifts him up in the air but Otunga manages to duck and tags in Ricardo. Sheamus pulls him into the ring. Ricardo tries to run away, but Sheamus grabs him and clubs him across the chest. Rey comes in and hits a 619! Sheamus tags in Sin Cara, who climbs to the top rope. He leaps and connects with a Swanton off a springboard. This match is over.
Winners: Sheamus, Sin Cara & Rey Mysterio
After the match Otunga is demolished with a Brogue Kick.
Video: More of Daniel Bryan and Kane at the Diner
Fans can vote via Twitter to determine the official tag team name for Bryan and Kane.
Bryan and Kane are in the ring as Cole reveals their new team name: Team Hell No
Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow appear from behind and attack both men. Rhodes gets on the mic and announcers their name is Team Rhodes Scholar and they are going to take the belts.
Layla & Alicia Fox v. Beth Phoenix & Eve Torres
Eve hits a neckbreaker on Alicia Fox to end the match.
Winners: Eve Torres & Beth Phoenix
After the match, Kaitlyn hobbles out on a crutch. Kaitlyn says that she saw the security footage from Night of Champions and the Diva who attacked her had blonde hair. Eve blames it on Beth. Eve then hits her with a neckbreaker.
Brodus Clay v. Tensai
Tensai pushes him into the corner and headbutts him repeatedly. Brodus hits one of his own and follows with a splash. Clay hits a suplex. Brodus misses a splash, as does Tensai.
Big Show’s music hits and he walks down to the ring. He clobbers Tensai. Clay gets to his feet, but also gets met with a punch!
John Cena makes his way down to the ring with his arm in a sling off of his recent elbow surgery. Cena says that he is here to say thank you. He wants to thank the fans for their support of Rise Above Cancer. Cena then proceeds to apologize to the referees for CM Punk. He says that it sucks he has to sit on the bench for a little while. He isn’t going to guarantee his recovery, but he will guarantee that he is going to walk into Hell in a Cell to fight.
CM Punk’s music hits and the Champion walks out onto the ramp with Heyman holding his belt. They enter the ring and Punk says that with all of his lies Cena should have been a politician. Punk says that his reign isn’t going to end anytime soon. Punk says he isn’t going to accept Cena’s challenge because there are other stars who are more deserving of a shot. Punk tells Cena to stay away from this match because he only has one arm. Punk says he is going to turn his back and give Cena five seconds to run away. If he doesn’t, Punk is going to hurt him bad. Punk will not have his integrity called into question, he demands respect.
Punk turns his back to Cena and starts to count down. Punk takes a lead pipe out of his back pocket. When Punk gets to 1, Cena nails him with the lead pipe in the stomach. Cena yells that real men wear pink and he’ll see Punk at Hell in a Cell. Cena leaves us with the words, “now that’s what I call a pipe bomb”.
Once in the back, CM Punk walks past Mick Foley. He kicks him in the gut and starts to walk away. Punk turns around again and Ryback is standing next to Foley, staring Punk down.
Together we’ll rule the WWE Universe. Together we’ll rule the Universe. The Universe.
Heyman started that train rolling in my mind and I couldn’t help but think that it was an expansion of Pinky and the Brain’s quest for world domination. The WWE is not a Universe, that’s ridiculous.
Punk gave a wink to The Rock with, “It doesn’t matter what you…” in his opening line tonight. It might not seem like much but I have to appreciate the thought by Punk.
Punk essentially saying that he had such intense intimate relations with AJ that she has a skip in her step was a bit of a shocker. It’s a decent way to get some heat.
AJ is losing her mind. This will probably end up with her and Booker T being fired and the WWE bringing in someone to run both RAW and Smackdown. At least that’s what the rumor mill has been spinning with the whole Flair theory. Maybe he will show up, maybe there is something to tales of the WWE resisting TNA guys amidst the lawsuit.
Ziggler/Kofi had an entertaining match for what it was. I was hit with the realization of how much I’ve missed JR during this match. His commentary really allows the audience to feel for the characters in the ring. The story just means so much more when he tells it.
Ryder and Santino make quite the gimmicky tag team.
Foley was at his best when he asked Punk if he wanted to be a statistic or a legend. He roared with the kind of energy we rarely get to see in his more current appearances.
Ryback/Miz did nothing for me.
Tyson/Wade just reinforced Wade’s finisher. That was the entire purpose of the match.
Jerry Lawler is looking good. His voice obviously has a ways to go, but I’m sure he’ll be back at the table soon enough. Until that point I’m actually going to continue enjoying a non-heel Michael Cole.
David Otunga, Alberto Del Rio & Ricardo Rodriguez v. Sheamus, Sin Cara & Rey Mysterio
Bryan and Kane are the best comedy bits on the show as of late. I’m not a fan of toilet humor so they kind of lost me in the last sketch. That notwithstanding, the rest of their bits were quite funny.
Big Show took out Tensai and Clay like it was nothing. I’ve long found heel Big Show to be rather boring. We’ll see if he can buck that trend this time around, but I’m not feeling very hopeful.
I suppose Ryback is being tossed around as the back up in case Cena can’t go at the PPV. I’d be awfully disappointed.
The Teacher’s Lounge (Saturday)
“The Teacher’s Lounge” is a weekly podcast archived every Saturday on the Wrestleview Radio Network featuring hosts David Stephens and “Mr. V” Anthony Valvo. The show reviews all of the news from the week, tosses out Gold Stars and Detentions, PPV previews and special guests. Past Interviews include: Colt Cabana, Hernandez, Sara Del Rey, CZW Owner DJ Hyde, Shane Douglas & more!