WWE Monday Night RAW Results
December 23, 2013
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, JBL & Michael Cole
Report by: David Stephens of Wrestleview.com
RAW opens with a vignette in which Mark Henry portrays “Good Santa” and Damien Sandow is “Bad Santa”. They tell the story of the RAW Before Christmas.
The Authority makes their way down to the ring. Triple H, Stephanie & Kane are all wearing Santa hats. An elf helps Kane pass out candy canes on the way to the ring. Stephanie and Triple H point out that they encourage their talent to serve in soup kitchens and volunteer during this season. They announce several matches for the night’s card and wish Yuletide cheer for their audience. The main event will feature The Shield v. CM Punk, Big E. Langston & John Cena. Triple H looks to leave but the WWE World Heavyweight Champions’ music hits. Randy Orton enters the ring and says that his Christmas gift to the WWE Universe is the fact that he is the Champion. Orton also thanks The Authority for giving him the night off. Group hug time. Kane finishes with a holiday wish – “Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight”. Kane sets the pyro off around the ring.
12 Diva Jingle Ball Match: Team Total Divas v. Team Tamina
AJ Lee is on commentary for the match. Tamina starts the match off against Nikki but gets caught with a hurricarana. Kaitlyn gets the tag as does Eva. The constant tags occur continuously. The match quickly turns into a showcase of each Diva hitting a move before tagging out. Inevitably everyone hits the ring. Team Total Divas all link arms one by one and do a hootenanny around the ring. As each Diva joins the chain they take out one of the opposing Divas with a clothesline. The crowd begins to boo. It looks painfully staged and horrible. Natalya is eventually left in the ring with Aksana and wins with a Sharpshooter.
Winners: Team Total Divas
Curtis Axel v. Sin Cara
Cara appears in a box screen before the match and wishes the crowd a Merry Christmas. He speaks! Sin Cara is of course now being played by Hunico and not the former Mistico of Mexico fame. A hurricarana sends Axel out of the ring. Cara tries to follow up with a leap from the apron but Axel pulls at his feet. Back inside the ring Axel works the back of his foe with a stretch. Axel hits a high dropkick and goes for a cover. Cara kicks out. Cara knocks Axel out of the ring and follows after with a Summersault Plancha. Axel is rolled back into the ring. Cara hits a crossbody. Axel is sent towards the ropes by a tilt-a-whirl that disorients him. Cara cartwheels into an elbow. Axel smashes him in the mouth and goes for a cover but can’t stop the momentum. Cara hits a back body drop and follows with a Swanton for the win.
Winner: Sin Cara
Promo airs for the return of Batista on January 20th
Vignette airs with Bad News Barrett working a Salvation Army stand.
Daniel Bryan & The Rhodes Brothers v. The Wyatt Family
Cody starts the match against Rowan and targets his leg. Goldust gets the tag but is pushed into the corner. He fights his way forward and gets the tag to Bryan. Rowan is kicked mercilessly until he is able to push Bryan away. Body gets the tag and keeps Rowan isolated in the corner to tag in his brother. Rowan pushes Goldust across the ring to tag in Harper. He rakes the eyes of Goldust and then delivers a few uppercuts. Goldust is able to bring in Cody. Cody hits a dropkick before bringing in Bryan. Harper punches off a kick. Bryan dodges a kick in the corner which sets Harper up in a tree of woe. Bryan charges from across the ring for a delayed missile dropkick. Harper falls towards his corner. Bryan wants Bray as the show heads to commercial.
Back from the break and it is Rowan in the ring with Cody. Harper gets the tag and hits Cody with a hard elbow. Cody is dragged down to the mat and then swirled around with a gator roll. Cody begins bleeding from the bridge of his nose. Cody makes it to his feet only to be hit with a headbutt. Luke responds with a clothesline. Goldust gets a hot tag and pushes Harper into the corner for a ten count punch. Goldust blocks a splash and hits a hurricarana. Harper responds with a boot to the face. Bray enters to face the fallen Goldust. He drops several elbows before punching Goldust repeatedly. Bray collides for a splash and then goes into crab mode for a moment. It’s like beast mode but more venereal.
Harper gets the tag and ensures that Goldust cannot make a tag. Goldust dodges an elbow. Harper charges over to knock Bryan and Cody off the apron. Rowan gets the tag. Harper is quickly brought back in but gets caught with a modified Code Red. Goldust makes it to Daniel Bryan. Rowan also comes in off a tag. Bryan is fired up as he charges for two consecutive dropkicks. Bryan dodges a clothesline and kicks out the leg of his opponent. Bryan heads up top and delivers a headbutt. Bray charges in to make the save. Bryan follows him out of the ring but only ends up being demolished by Rowan. The Rhodes Brothers stare down The Wyatts as the show goes to commercial.
Back from the break and Bray takes control of Bryan. Rowan gets the tag and slams Bryan in the middle of the ring. He stares towards the opposing corner before attacking Bryan’s back. All breaks loose in as Harper and Cody are the legal men. Bryan and Bray start to brawl. Bryan flies from the top rope with a crossbody and falls out of the ring with Bray. Goldust runs off the apron for a Tommy Dreamer flip. Back inside the ring Cody hits a Disaster Kick on Harper. Bray tags himself in and hits Sister Abigail for the win.
Winners: The Wyatt Family
After the match the Wyatt Family drags Bryan into the middle of the ring and go to work on the Superstar of the Year. Bray tells him to follow the buzzards. The lights go out and when they come back on Bray is in his rocking chair and his minions stand guard. Bryan looks on from the ring.
Bad News Barrett is still on the street still collecting money.
In the ring Renee Young hosts a singing contest. It’s R-Truth & Xavier performing Oh Holy Night v. Drew McIntyre & Jinder Mahal performing Jingle Bells v. Santino & The Great Khali performing Deck the Halls. Santino & Khali win by an audience vote. The members of 3MB try to go on the attack after the contest but the other teams send them out of the ring and then proceed to sing We Wish You a Merry Christmas.
Christmas Present on a Pole Match: Dolph Ziggler v. Fandango w/Summer Rae
They brawl around the ring at the start. Fandango is the first to make a pole attempt but is pulled back into the ring. Fandango makes another attempt but Ziggler grabs him and counters a hurricarana. Ziggler hits a Fame-Asser and heads to the corner. Fandango kicks Ziggler and knocks him from the turnbuckle to the outside of the ring. The momentum also knocks Fandango out. Summer helps him back up the corner. Ziggler follows after and punches Fandango down. Fandango responds with a vicious kick. Ziggler is draped over the corner. Fandango stands over him and reaches for the dangling present. Ziggler springs up and knocks Fandango crotch first onto the top rope. Fandango tries to stop Ziggler. He pushes him head first into the pole. Ziggler crashes head first into the steel steps as he falls out of the ring.
As a result of the win Fandango has earned a Title shot for Big E. Langston’s Intercontinental Championship next week on RAW.
Titus O’Neill is in the ring with Darren Young. Young wants to speak but incorrectly identifies the town as Houston. Titus takes the mic away. He says that they want two things for Christmas. They want the Tag Team Championships and people to join them in dancing #millionsofdollars.
The Primetime Players v. The Usos
Titus tosses his opponent across the ring and then tags in Young. Titus lifts up Young to drop him onto Uso. Young connects with an elbow. Uso makes a tag. Young is splatted by a splash. The crowd chants – “This is Austin”. Uso makes a tag and comes in to work the arm of Young. He pulls Young’s arm behind his head and then tags in his brother. They deliver a double elbow. Cover, but Young kicks out. Young is in the corner and gets hit with a hard butt splash. Titus charges in to make the save. Young gets caught with a Superkick. The other Uso makes the tag and is wearing a Rudolph nose as he flies off the top rope for a match ending splash. At no point in the match did the commentators identify which Uso is which. I apologize but I can’t tell them apart when they have their shirts on especially without commentary assistance.
Winners: The Usos
After the match The Usos dance with The Primetime Players
Mark Henry unveils a gift in the ring and it’s a toilet. Sandow’s head is pushed down into the bowl. Sandow exits the ring and finds a fire extinguisher under a gift. He tries to use it but does not pull out the pin. Henry laughs, pushes him away, and then blows the extinguisher all over Sandow. Sandow walks up the entrance ramp and grabs a giant candy cane. He uses it to hit Henry. Sandow then goes to work on the Christmas set. Henry and Sandow make their way down to the ring. Sandow again attempts to use the fire extinguisher but again fails. Mark Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the win. Christmas is saved!
Winner: Good Santa
After the match Henry unwraps another gift and plays with some jingle bells. Henry finds some cupcakes and takes a bite before smashing them over the face of Sandow.
CM Punk is in the back with Renee Young. He reveals that he has asked for help – something that he never does. He brings in his tag team partners for tonight. Langston and Cena approach and cut a promo for their match with Punk against The Shield tonight.
The Real Americans w/ Zeb Colter v. Los Matadores w/ El Torito
Cesaro starts the match against Diego. He connects with a hurricarana followed by a head trap. Cesaro whips him into the corner but is blocked on a splash attempt. Cesaro catches him and starts a swing. Diego slides out of the ring. Cesaro heads out after him but Los Matadores pulls their version of twin magic. Back in the ring a roll up is attempted but Swagger makes the save. Fernando fights him off. Fernando sets up with a headscissor that lets him roll up Swagger for the win.
Winners: Los Matadores
Kofi Kingston v. Ryback
Ryback almost gets into a scuffle with the referee at the start as he if furious with an attack Kofi made to his skull. Kofi kicks him off the apron. Kofi flies out after to splash Ryback. They get back into the ring only for Ryback to clothesline Kofi back out of the ring. Ryback grabs Kofi for a Bearhug. Kofi is able to fight free and attempts to get the momentum back in his favor. Kofi hits a Boom Drop. Ryback dodges a Trouble in Paradise but ends up getting hit with a see saw kick. Ryback responds with a Shellshock for the win.
The Shield v. CM Punk, Big E. Langston & John Cena
Cena starts the match against Rollins. He knocks him down to the mat and quickly looks for a 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Rollins avoids the move by rolling out of the ring. Rollins gets back inside and tags in Roman. Reigns and Cena stare each other down as RAW heads to commercial.
Back from the break and Cena is being beaten down in the corner by Rollins. Ambrose gets the tag only to be caught with several punches to the gut. Ambrose catches Cena in a Sleeper hold. Cena is forced down to the mat in the middle of the ring. Punk gets the tag and sends Ambrose out of the ring. Once back inside Punk connects with a swinging neckbreaker. Punk hits a big boot in the corner. He tries to head up the turnbuckle but Rollins heads over for a distraction. Ambrose knocks Punk off the apron to the outside. Ambrose follows after and hits a Suplex outside of the ring. Ambrose rolls Punk back in and goes for a cover. Punk kicks out. The Shield works to keep Punk from making a tag. Rollins comes in and mounts Punk for a series of punches. Punk is whipped into the corner hard. Rollins keeps him cut off from the saving corner with kicks. Punk reverses a whip which knocks the wind from Rollins. Ambrose gets the tag and comes in to cut Punk off from making a tag. Ambrose pushes him back so that Reigns can tag himself into the match. Punk tries to fight back but is caught in a Bearhug. Reigns converts it into a belly to belly suplex. Punk kicks out of the cover. Reigns is astonished and tags in Rollins. Seth applies a leg scissors. Punk lifts him up for a back body drop and heads to the corner. Ambrose gets the tag and manages to keep him cut off and knocks Cena off the apron in the process. Ambrose lifts Punk up only to get kicked in the skull. Reigns gets the tag and again keeps Punk from making a tag.
Langston is finally able to reach the arm of Punk and comes in to clear house. Langston slams Rollins down onto Ambrose and then hits a splash on both of them. Rollins tags in Ambrose. He tries a cover but Cena makes the save. Rollins flies off the top rope but Cena catches him and lifts him up for an AA only to be speared. Everyone pours into the ring. Langston and Ambrose are the two men left. Langston hits the Big Ending on Ambrose. Reigns and Rollins come in to make the save so the referee calls for the bell. After the match Cena and Punk help clear the ring.
Winners: John Cena, CM Punk & Big E. Langston
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