“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…” The WWE video leads us into the show.
A video highlights the main event of last week’s Smackdown. It was a Triple Threat Match for the World Heavyweight Championship featuring Jack Swagger defending against Chris Jericho and Edge. Edge nearly had it won with a Spear but Swagger pulled him out and covered Jericho for the win. Swagger then gave a Gutwrench Powerbomb to Edge. Jericho picked up the pieces after Swagger left and assaulted Edge’s surgically repaired ankle.
Jack Swagger’s music hits as Todd Grisham and Matt Striker welcome us to the show. Swagger is going to be in action in a non-title match against John Morrison. Swagger grabs a microphone and says he’s on a roll. Last week he defeated two future first ballot WWE Hall of Famers. Edge, a nine-time World Champion, and Chris Jericho, a man who calls himself the best in the world at what he does. Swagger says he guesses that makes him the best now. Then Swagger dominated the Undertaker like no other superstar has been able to do, including Shawn Michaels. That’s what’s expected when you’re the greatest natural competitor in WWE. Since he doesn’t like to brag he’ll let the video package do it for him. It’s all the highlights of him beating on the Undertaker, which are impressive. What’s not shown is the Tombstone and him getting his shoulders pinned to the mat.
Swagger says that video says it all. It makes him look like a champion. This champion, our champion, hopes to become a permanent member of the Smackdown roster next week. It’s a show where he is respected and admired. It’s a show where his championship presence can flourish and he can inspire an entire universe (I guess he’s admitting that he’s been buried on Raw). This Sunday at Extreme Rules he plans to dominate Randy Orton and give us a champion that we can believe in. Swagger knows the viper will be coiled and ready, waiting to inject the champion with venom that can kill someone in three seconds. Swagger says a normal man doesn’t have an NCAA record like his. What Randy Orton is looking at is the antidote. He’s not going to play with the viper: he’s going for the viper’s neck and he’ll cut its head off (I saw Bear Grylls do that on “Man vs. Wild”!).
Jack Swagger vs. John Morrison
They circle the ring and Swagger quickly goes for a takedown and gets it. Morrison gets up and they circle again. They lock up and Morrison gets a waist lock. Swagger turns it and takes Morrison down. Morrison fights up and gets the waist lock. Swagger hits a back elbow and a scoop slam. Swagger goes for a leg drop but Morrison moves, goes into the ropes, and hits a running knee for a near fall. Morrison kicks him in the ribs and has a whip reversed. Morrison slides through the legs but Swagger immediately catches him with a nasty double leg takedown.
We come back from the break to see Morrison trapped in a body scissors. Morrison breaks out and gets to his feet. Swagger hangs on and punches him down. Swagger props Morrison on the top rope and pumps himself up. Swagger goes for a superplex but Morrison punches him off. Morrison stands on the top rope and comes off with a missile dropkick for a two count. Morrison applies the Magisterial Cradle for a near fall! I love that move. Morrison sends him into the corner sternum first and goes for the Flying Chuck but Swagger kicks him out of the air for a near fall!
Swagger drops some elbows on the ribs and then drops his legs on the ribs. That gets him a near fall. Swagger, bleeding from the mouth, applies a nasty chicken wing. Morrison elbows out, goes into the ropes, counters a move into a wheelbarrow attempt but Swagger counters that into a BIG German Suplex! Swagger steps over him and taunts the crowd. Swagger talks a little trash before locking on another chicken wing. Morrison fights it but Swagger gets it. Swagger brings him down to his stomach and applies the move in Crippler Crossface position. Morrison fights up and backs him to the corner before rolling him off. Morrison then charges him and counters a tilt-a-whirl into a DDT!
Both men are down and Jack Doane is counting to ten. They both get to their feet at seven and Morrison comes swinging. Morrison takes him down with a right hand and a diving shoulder block. Morrison ducks a clothesline and throws him to the apron. Swagger slingshots back into the ring and right into a BIG kick from Morrison, giving him a near fall! Morrison’s whip is reversed and Swagger goes for a back suplex but Morrison lands on his feet. Morrison rolls him up for a near fall. Morrison then hits the Flying Chuck for another big near fall!
Morrison is shaking feeling back into his shoulder as he picks the champion up. Swagger reverses a whip but lowers his head and eats a kick. Swagger, near the ropes, drops Morrison throat first on the top rope. Swagger then hits the Gutwrench Powerbomb and covers but Morrison grabs the bottom rope at two and seven-eighths! Swagger can’t believe it!
Swagger kicks the arm off the bottom rope and kicks away at Morrison. Swagger goes for a running powerslam but Morrison slides off. Morrison drops him with a pele kick and hits Starship Pain! Morrison covers and pins the World Heavyweight Champion in a non-title match!
Winner by Pinfall: John Morrison
Match Rating: **
John Morrison celebrates big time as Jack Swagger gasps for air at ringside. Swagger yells at the referee to give him his title and he looks at it intensely. Tony Chimel then announces Jack Swagger as the World Heavyweight Champion.
A steel cage is seen hanging above the ring. We’re reminded that Edge and Jericho will fight inside it this Sunday.
CM Punk and the S.E.S. are backstage talking with Teddy Long. Punk angrily has a big hole in his hair from the haircut he got on Monday. Punk calls Mysterio a sociopathic gremlin with clippers. Long says it’s his problem. Punk said he did this to him Monday because he knows he can’t cut his hair Sunday. Long says he hopes he does win because he’ll look real ugly bald. Punk says he won’t find it funny when he hurts Mysterio tonight. Long says he’ll hook him up as Punk and Luke Gallows will be in a tag match against Rey Mysterio. His partner will be a “handsome, distinguished debonair with no hair.” He’s talking about Kane and not himself. Punk angrily leaves as Long says “bald is beautiful.”
R-Truth and Matt Hardy make their way to the ring. They’ll compete in a tag match next.
R-Truth & Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre
The match begins and it’ll be R-Truth starting out against Dolph Ziggler. They circle and R-Truth asks “What’s up.” R-Truth dances and they finally lock up. R-Truth gets a side headlock on and takes him down for a two count. Ziggler gets trapped in another headlock and gets taken down again. Ziggler fights up but R-Truth tags Matt Hardy. Ziggler reverses a whip to the corner on R-Truth but he slingshots over, cartwheels, splits under a clothesline, and Ziggler runs into Hardy, who flapjacks him into the turnbuckle. That’d have been awesome if the flapjack wasn’t botched.
We come back from the break to see Hardy trapped in a headlock applied by Ziggler. Hardy fights up and punches out. Hardy takes him down a few times and sends him to the corner. Hardy clotheslines him in the corner and pulls him out in a sit-out powerbomb for a near fall. Hardy goes for a Side Effect but Ziggler elbows out and sends him shoulder first into the corner. Ziggler distracts the referee as McIntyre goes over and stomps Hardy’s head on the steel steps. Ziggler then comes over and bashes his face on the steps as well. Shouldn’t that be a DQ? The Goose (the ref) comes over to check on Hardy. His eyes are glazed over.
Ziggler throws him back into the ring and covers for a near fall. Hardy can barely stay on his feet and Ziggler punching him in the head probably isn’t helping. Apparently the Goose has seen enough and he calls for the bell. Matt Hardy cannot continue.
Winners by Referee Stoppage: Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre
Match Rating: *
R-Truth comes over and helps his partner out of the ring. Drew McIntyre’s intensely boring music hits and he stands in the ring as ringside doctors help Hardy. All of a sudden he grabs Hardy and sends him head first into the steel steps again. McIntyre talks some trash saying this is the last time he ever wants to see him again.
Chris Jericho and Wade Barrett are walking backstage. The steel cage is being lowered. I guess we’ll get an Owen Hart Summerslam ’94 type promo in the cage next.
The WWE Rewind is Chris Jericho attacking Edge’s ankle last week.
Chris Jericho and Wade Barrett come to the ring and enter the cage. Jericho says he will unequivocally end the career of Edge. What the means is no more heroic comebacks, championship reigns, and spears. Jericho gets the crowd to chant “Spear” and says it’s the last time they will. We saw how he laid the groundwork by injuring his ankle and that will lead to his greatest accomplishment in his career. Jericho says that Edge has no idea what lengths he’ll go to use it as a weapon. Jericho ponders whether he’ll rake his face across the fence or bounce his head off the steel bar. Since Edge is too injured to climb to the top he will and jump off, crushing his ankle and ending him for good. Jericho says next Monday night when everyone is waiting to see what show they’ll be on, Edge will be watching in a bed after he drafts him back to the hospital, where he’s spent so much time over the past few years. Jericho says the greatest part of the situation is that when Edge is gone, all the parasitic sycophants won’t be chanting “Spear”: they’ll be chanting “Goodbye Edge.”
Edge’s music hits and he comes out to the stage limping. Edge says that Jericho brings up a good point in that he did injure his ankle last week. Edge says a lot of people have been asking how he’ll compete at Extreme Rules, although more people are asking how he lost to rookie Heath Slater on Tuesday. Edge says he’s pretty banged up but nothing is going to stop him from getting inside that cage this Sunday. As a matter of fact there’s nothing that’s going to stop him from getting in the cage right now.
Edge enters the cage. Edge says he knows how to deal. He’s been injured before and knows how to come back. Edge says he’s broken his neck for the business and asks if Jericho knows what it’s like to come back from that. Edge asks Jericho to look into his eyes and asks if he looks like someone with anything to lose. Edge says maybe this Sunday they’ll find out if Jericho has what it takes to come back from injury. Edge doesn’t think Jericho could. Edge says he plans on Spearing Jericho through the cage. He’ll do that one better: there’s nothing that’s going to stop him from Spearing him right now.
Edge floors Jericho with a punch and attacks Wade Barrett. Jericho chop blocks the ankle and the double team commences. Jericho takes his jacket off and goes for the Walls of Jericho but Edge punches out. Edge ducks a clothesline from Barrett and hits the Edge-O-Matic. Edge sets up for a Spear on Jericho but Jericho escapes through the door and locks it. Jericho talks a little trash before Barrett begs to be let out. Jericho backs away from the cage and acts like there’s nothing he can do. That was hilarious. Edge then bangs Barrett’s face against the cage and throws him into it. Edge then sets up and breaks Barrett in half with the Spear! Edge then crawls to the door and gives Jericho a crazy face. Jericho looks scared as he walks away.
Still to come tonight is CM Punk and Luke Gallows taking on Rey Mysterio and Kane.
The WWE Rewind is JTG beating Caylen Croft and Shad attacking him after the match. JTG then dropkicked him out of the ring.
Shad Gaspard is sitting at the announcers table in a suit with a leather strap around his neck. He says he’ll dominate JTG in the strap match.
JTG vs. Mike Knox
This is the final match of Mike Knox’s WWE career. What a waste of an incredible talent.
JTG punches away at Knox until Knox pushes him away and hits the Flying Cross-body for a near fall. Knox stomps JTG and hits a big splash for another near fall. Knox clubs away at JTG and punches. Knox sends him to the corner and charges into the boots. JTG floors him with a second rope flipping shoulder block. JTG then hits a dropkick and the Mug Shot. Knox rolls out of the ring and JTG hits an over the top rope splash on Knox. JTG and Shad exchange words at ringside. JTG puts Knox in the ring and gets kicked in the ribs by the big man. Knox sends him into the ropes but JTG ducks the clothesline and hits the Shout Out for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: JTG
Match Rating: *
Shad immediately comes in and smacks JTG in the back with the strap. JTG charges and eats a big boot. Shad then viciously attacks him with the strap. Shad grabs him by the neck and says over and over that it’s HIS time.
The video package for the Last Man Standing match is shown. They then run down the rest of the card.
We see footage from Raw where the S.E.S. attacked Triple H only for Rey Mysterio to make the save. Mysterio then clipped a chunk of Punk’s hair off. A barber chair is positioned on the stage. If Mysterio beats him at Extreme Rules then that’s where CM Punk will wind up.
Beth Phoenix and Mickie James, in her last WWE match, will take on LayCool.
Beth Phoenix will take on Michelle McCool in an Extreme Makeover match for the Women’s Title.
Michelle McCool & Layla vs. Beth Phoenix & Mickie James
This is Mickie James’ last WWE match. She looks happy for someone who is fired.
Beth Phoenix starts against Layla. Layla gets a headlock and Phoenix lifts her with one arm. Beth then lifts her off. Layla takes a big swing as McCool tags in. Something weird happens and McCool takes a lame back elbow. Beth gorilla presses Layla and McCool kicks her in the leg. McCool works on Beth’s knee as Vickie Guerrero claps at ringside. Layla is tagged back in and she stomps Beth before stretching the knee. Layla goes for a figure four but Beth kcisk her off.
Mickie James is tagged in and she hits a pair of clotheslines and a back elbow. Mickie knocks McCool off the apron and Layla kicks Mickie. Mickie comes back with a neckbreaker and comes off the top rope with a Thesz Press. McCool then kicks her in the head to break the pin. Layla hits a nice neckbreaker and picks up the win over Mickie James.
Winners by Pinfall: Michelle McCool & Layla
Match Rating: ¾ *
Michelle McCool chop blocks Beth and Layla gets an ironing board. Layla sets it up in the corner and throws Beth into it. How stupid… McCool then lays her out with a big boot. McCool puts the ironing board on her and Vickie hands her lipstick. They then draw all over her face. An ironing board has knocked out the most dominant diva in WWE? This is pure and total CRAP! Kill the women’s division now!
Kane and Rey Mysterio are talking backstage. Doesn’t Mysterio remember all the terrible things Kane did to him a few years ago?
The Straight Edge Society comes to the ring. Punk says that after tonight he will be done talking. This Sunday he’ll let his actions speak, just like last Monday. Mysterio let his actions speak when he let the world know he was a coward, chopping his hair off. Punk says he hopes he finds solace with that hair because that’s all he’ll get. He’ll keep his hair and it will remain pure as snow. His focus and vision will be complete. Punk goes to the barber’s chair at ringside and says someone will be saved. Someone will accept him as their savior. Someone will get their head shaved tonight. Rey Mysterio’s music hits and I guess that won’t happen.
CM Punk & Luke Gallows vs. Rey Mysterio & Kane
The match begins and it’ll be Mysterio starting out against Gallows. Mysterio kicks at him until Punk distracts and Gallows takes over. Gallows hits a body slam and drops some elbows. Punk is tagged in and he attacks Mysterio, whipping him hard into the corner. Punk knees Mysterio in the ribs and forearms him. Punk goes for a back suplex but Mysterio back flips and tags in Kane. Punk cowardly crawls to the corner as we go to commercial.
We come back from the break to see Gallows being taken down by a shoulder block from Kane. Kane has a side headlock on and Gallows whips him off, flooring him with a clothesline. Punk is tagged in. Punk springboards into an uppercut and Mysterio is tagged in. Mysterio hits a low dropkick to the face. Mysterio has a whip to the corner reversed on him but he slingshots over. Mysterio then charges but Punk leap frogs him into the corner. Punk hits a high knee and follows up with a bulldog for a near fall. Punk kicks him in the back and stretches him out in a half bow and arrow. Mysterio knees out, goes into the ropes, and eats a back elbow for a two count.
Gallows is tagged in and he punches away at Mysterio’s ribs. Gallows chokes Mysterio and punches away. Punk chokes him while the referee is distracted. Gallows hits an uppercut and gets a near fall. Gallows chokes Mysterio some more until he kicks away. Mysterio the counters a powerslam into a nice DDT!
Both men make tags. Kane punches Punk down and sends him to the corner for a clothesline. Kane hits a sidewalk slam and goes to the top rope. Kane hits his flying lariat on the leader of the S.E.S. and the pin is broken up by Gallows. Gallows charges Mysterio but he pulls the rope down and out Gallows goes. Punk kicks and runs into a nasty big boot. Mysterio is tagged in and he stands on Kane’s shoulders, coming off with a body splash for a near fall! Mysterio then dropkicks him into the ropes and goes for a 619 but Gallows pulls him out as Serena distracts the ref. Mysterio ducks and Kane takes out Gallows. Punk then assaults Mysterio coming back in. Mysterio goes for a springboard moonsault and Punk catches him in GTS position. Mysterio slides off for a roll up but Punk sits on his shoulders for the win!
Winners by Pinfall: CM Punk & Luke Gallows
Match Rating: **
Punk attacks Mysterio some more but Mysterio dropkicks him into the barber’s chair. Mysterio goes to shave his head but Serena makes the save. Mysterio taunts with the buzzer as Punk backs up the ramp scared.
Quick Match Results
John Morrison def. Jack Swagger (non-title)
Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre def. R-Truth & Matt Hardy via ref stoppage
JTG def. Mike Knox
Michelle McCool & Layla* def. Beth Phoenix & Mickie James*
CM Punk* & Luke Gallows def. Rey Mysterio* & Kane
Bump of the Night: Shad beating JTG with the strap
Match of the Night: Jack Swagger vs. John Morrison ** ½
This was an improvement from last week’s effort. We had some good matches, some good angles, and some bald jokes.
I’ll start with the main event. I really am enjoying the CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio feud. I’m really looking forward to this Sunday. My pick is Mysterio but it could go either way. I’m just really curious to see what Punk would look like bald. Without question, though, the S.E.S. is one of the hottest things in WWE right now. I hope they stay on Smackdown but if Punk gets his head shaved then there’d be no reason for him to come back. I hope I’m wrong.
The opening contest was absolutely tremendous. The wrestling was top notch and both men put forth a great effort. While I don’t want to complain too much I just have to say it. They’re not really changing their booking of Swagger much from a few weeks ago when he was losing on Superstars. It wouldn’t be bad for him to beat John Morrison. Morrison isn’t on the PPV and the loss to the champion wouldn’t hurt him. Swagger cut a great promo about being the antidote to Orton’s venom so why not give him some kind of momentum? That’s my only beef. Other than that the match was terrific. One positive is Morrison should technically be number one contender. Then again so should the Undertaker.
Chris Jericho and Edge are meeting in a steel cage. Their promos in the cage tonight were off the charts. Edge was particularly captivating and really came off as a man with nothing to lose. He’s the best, as is Jericho. This should be for the title. I’m guessing one of them won’t be on Smackdown after the draft. Steel cage matches are pretty final. Once again I hope I’m wrong.
The one thing that really, really bugged me tonight was the angle with the women’s division. Is there any thought that’s put into this division? Why do they keep wasting valuable TV time every week? Is there a quota of terrible diva angles that they must reach every week? If so great job: they might even be over the quota. Beth Phoenix, the diva who eliminated the Great Khali in the Royal Rumble, proclaimed to be the most dominant diva in WWE, was knocked out by an ironing board. Yeah, you read that correctly. Michelle McCool and Layla then drew all over her face with lipstick and they’ll meet Sunday in an Extreme Makeover match. I said it in the recap and I’ll say it in my thoughts. Just kill this division. I’m sorry, I know it’s cold hearted, but I’ve had enough. I may simply just stop recapping the diva’s all together until the act is put back together. Now that Mickie James and Maria are gone there aren’t enough Diva’s on the roster to fill up both shows. Just kill it and bring it back somewhere down the line. It’s worthless right now.
Ok, now that my rant is over I can move on to my last piece of business. I’m really sad to see Mike Knox go. Shelton Benjamin you could see coming. He’ll probably wind up with Charlie Haas in TNA anyway. But Mike Knox, man, what a mistake they’ve made. What a HUGE mistake creative has made. You had a guy who could cut an incredibly creepy promo and bring it in the ring big time. This guy, at over 300 pounds, could do a flying cross-body and not kill you. He could execute a picture perfect dropkick as well. He’s agile, big, ugly, and could talk. How was he not a monster heel? What went wrong? Hopefully he gets another chance somewhere down the line. Maybe he’ll go to TNA. Hopefully they’ll find a way to use him right. This is a big FAIL for WWE on letting this guy go. What a shame!
Final Rating: ***
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Be sure to check out Tuesday’s NXT recap: click here.
Thanks for reading!