Saturday, 22 May 2010 07:36
May 21, 2010
Report by: Mike Tedesco of Wrestleview.com
A video recaps the events of last week involving Jack Swagger and Big Show. Swagger was in the ring with a large assortment of trophies that he won throughout his life and was bragging, as usual. Big Show came out and "accidentally" destroyed a few of them. Swagger's face was hilarious as he watched. Then Swagger attacked and was thrown out of the ring. Big Show destroyed the rest and held the World Heavyweight Championship over his head.
The Smackdown video plays and we're brought into the arena with some pyro. Todd Grisham and Matt Striker welcome us to the show. Big Show will take on Drew McIntyre, who they deem "one of the most controversial champions in modern WWE history" (what a joke), in a non-title match. Jack Swagger will also take on Kofi Kingston for the "first time ever." Well I guess that September 21, 2009 Raw doesn't count...
CM Punk's music is playing and he, along with the S.E.S., is in the ring with three people sitting on stools. Luke Gallows says there was a time when he was just like everyone we see seated before him: weak minded, pathetic, and riddled with addiction. He used to wake up every day and think that it was impossible for him to achieve a better life for himself. But the man who can save everyone in this ring and the WWE Universe can make the impossible possible. That man is CM Punk.
Serena says everyone in attendance tonight and everyone at home has to stand up right now and show this perfect man the respect that he deserves. Gallows says he can't think of a better place for this man's most selfless and gracious act of generosity. In Canada, it's legal for teenagers to drink alcoholic beverages. The impressionable youth of their nation are physically and morally handicapping themselves as their parents turn a blind eye. That's going to end for the three in the ring as they'll take the pledge to extinguish the demons of weakness and addiction, just like CM Punk will do to Rey Mysterio at Over the Limit. Serena says the individuals that sit before them represent the decaying and worthlessness of Canada. They're here tonight to heal them and at Over the Limit, CM Punk will heal Rey Mysterio. Through him the power of Straight Edge will be seen from now until eternity.
CM Punk asks the three men to raise their hands, as well as those in attendance and at home who have been touched by the words of Gallows and Serena. Stand up and feel Straight Edge flow through you. This pledge absolves them of all their weaknesses and the failures. This pledge makes them better than everybody. Punk asks them to repeat after him: I pledge allegiance to the Straight Edge Society, one nation, under Punk, indivisible, with integrity and sobriety for all! Punk says this moment will begin the rest of their lives. They'll no longer be weak like the universe they see before them.
Just like Mysterio will do at Over the Limit, he needs them to show their devotion to the S.E.S. Gallows asks if they're prepared to accept Straight Edge into their lives. They answer yes (like creepy drones) and Punk says they need to show their devotion to their savior, who is kind but has needs. They'll show their devotion through actions as well as words.
HERE COMES THE CLIPPERS! Punk, Gallows, and Serena take one guy each and shave their heads. It's actually an improvement for them! Don't believe me? Check out the photos.
All of a sudden Rey Mysterio's music hits and he comes out to the stage. Mysterio says the whole mass induction ceremony is just way too ridiculous. Mysterio asks him to look how funny the three bald guys look. Punk screams that they're beautiful. Mysterio says everyone will think it's funny when CM Punk looks like this: Mysterio shows a hilarious photo of Punk bald. That's included in that link with the photos above. Mysterio's music hits and they yell at each other.
During the commercial CM Punk took his anger out on the three new disciples. Punk said he was going to show exactly what he would do to Mysterio at Over the Limit. Punk, Gallows, and Serena then took all three men out. Poor guys...
The announcers talk about the new Women's Champion. The WWE Rewind shows how Layla pinned Beth Phoenix for the Women's Championship in a handicap match. Beth put on a gritty performance but it wasn't enough.
Michelle McCool and Layla come out and are announced as "Co-Women's Champions." The Fabulous Moolah is rolling over in her grave. The value of that title and the "women's division" has just been obliterated once and for all. They've treated it as a joke and that's exactly what it's become. Must I waste my time recapping this? The answer, unfortunately, is yes, as it's my job.Michelle McCool & Layla vs. Kelly Kelly & Tiffany
Layla gets Kelly in a headlock after lock up. Kelly forearms out and sends her to the ropes but Layla gets a quick cradle for a one count. Layla wrenches the arm and Kelly gets out but climbing the turnbuckle and back flipping off with an arm drag. Kelly kicks her and sends her to the corner. Layla attempts to slingshot over but Kelly puts her on the apron shoulders her off. Kelly knocks McCool off the apron as well and climbs to the second turnbuckle. Kelly flies to the outside with a cross-body on McCool! Layla tries to runaway but Tiffany dives off the apron with a clothesline!
Tiffany is tagged in and she hits a top rope sunset flip on Layla for a one count. Tiffany hits a dropkick and sends her to the corner. Tiffany hits a monkey flip and goes for more but Layla stops her. McCool is tagged in and she woman handles her. Tiffany tries a hurricanrana but McCool reverses into the Faith Breaker for the win. For the standards that have been set for this "division" this wasn't atrocious. Neither is a Hornswoggle match by that criteria then...Winners by Pinfall: Michelle McCool & Layla
Match Rating: * 1/2
McCool and Layla celebrate in the ring with their Women's Championships, spinning around like little girls. Too bad all the good face divas, aside from Kelly Kelly, are injured or fired.
A pre-taped interview of the Big Show airs. Show says that Jack Swagger has been telling us about his many accomplishments. Show says it's great to have been an Eagle Scout, a state wrestling champion, and prom king (well, maybe not). Did you know that three weeks ago he knocked Jack Swagger out? They show the video. That was a nasty click when his fist hit the jaw. Show says that's one of his many accomplishments.
-Commercial Break-JTG vs. Caylen Croft
A pre-taped interview with the Dude Busters plays. They introduce themselves. They say if we want to know what they're all about then watch what they do to JTG tonight. They bust dudes up. Oh my god... I've seen better gimmicks in backyard wrestling. What a damn embarrassment.
Mr. V's favorite ref, the Goose, has this very unfortunate matchup. They lock up and JTG gets a quick hammerlock. Croft elbows out and sends him to the ropes but JTG ducks a clothesline and takes him down. JTG hits a short-arm clothesline and a low blockbuster for a near fall. Croft puts himself through the ropes to keep JTG away. Of course he uses that to poke the eyes and gains a little advantage with a neckbreaker. It lasts a little too long for my tastes, especially when the finish is a foregone conclusion. Croft continues with a neck vice and the crowd could care less. JTG mounts a comeback for the crickets. It's actually sad to watch. JTG hits the Mug Shot but is distracted but Trent Baretta. It wasn't enough as JTG hits the Shout Out for the win.Winner by Pinfall: JTG
Match Rating: 1/2 *
Vickie Guerrero is backstage when Christian meets up with her. Vickie says she heard the Peep Show is coming to Smackdown. Vickie tries to worm her way into being the first guest on the show but Christian shoots that down. He says he'd like to but he actually wants people to watch the show. Christian says people have been letting him know who they want and have sent video. In the top 100 are Bret Hart, the Mountie, the Brooklyn Brawler, Jared the Subway Guy, and a random guy who loves chicken. Vickie wants to know who his guest will be. Christian says he won't say but hints that they've never seen eye to eye.
-Commercial Break-Brent Roberts & Jeremy Barner vs. Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer
My favorite referee, Charles Robinson, has this equally unfortunate matchup. Hawkins slaps the one guy and takes him down. Hawkins hits an explosive body slam and throws him into the corner. Vance Archer is tagged in. Hawkins chop blocks the knee and Archer kicks him in the head. Archer hits a nasty looking swinging inverted sidewalk slam. The other guy is tagged in and he gets tossed around by Archer. Archer hits Goldust's Final Cut and Hawkins hits a Shawn Michaels-like elbow off the top rope for the win.Winners by Pinfall: Curt Hawkins & Vance Archer
Match Rating: No Rating
Curt Hawkins says they have twenty-two days left to make an impact and they'll do it whether we like it or not. They're referencing how much time they have left on their contract.
Big Show is back with another pre-taped interview. Big Show lists some more of Swagger's accomplishments before asking if we knew that two weeks ago he chokeslammed him through the announcer's table. Show says that's one of his many accomplishments.
Jack Swagger will be in action next against Kofi Kingston.
-Commercial Break-Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston
Before the match begins Swagger said that Big Show disrespected him, his accomplishments, the great state of Oklahoma, and his daddy. Most importantly he disrespected the World Heavyweight Championship. This Sunday he'll disrespect Big Show. When the dust settles the ring announcer will say that he is still the World Heavyweight Champion.
This will be a non-title affair. They lock up and Swagger powers him to the corner. Swagger releases and Kingston comes out with some kicks. Kingston dropkicks him and Swagger falls out of the ring. Swagger tries to get in and Kingston dropkicks him off the apron. Swagger angrily gets back in and hits some kicks. Kingston blocks a punch and comes back. Swagger reverses a whip into the corner but Kingston springboards off the second turnbuckle with an axe handle. Kingston clotheslines him out of the ring and taunts.
We come back from the break to see Swagger trapped in an arm bar. Swagger gets to his knees and then his feet. Swagger hits a knee and sends Kingston to the ropes but he holds on. Swagger charges but Kingston pulls the top rope down and he flies out of the ring. Kingston goes for a slingshot cross-body but Swagger catches him and vaults him into the ring post! Swagger bounces him a few times off the apron and puts him in the ring for a two count. Swagger clubs him in the back and stomps him in the corner. Kingston tries a comeback but Swagger knees him and puts him in the corner. Swagger clotheslines him and misses a Vader Bomb but he lands on his feet. Kingston elbows him and goes for a springboard cross-body but Swagger kicks him out of the air for a near fall.
Swagger applies a grounded bear hug and grinds his face into the mat. Swagger whips him into the ropes but lowers his head, allowing Kingston to hit a sunset flip for a near fall. Swagger immediately gets up and hits a nice belly to belly suplex. Swagger stomps Kingston a few times and punches him. Swagger chokes him on the ropes and shoulders him in the corner. Swagger puts him on the top rope and slaps him a few times. Kingston slaps back and hits a BIG tornado DDT!
Both men take a few to get up but they get up before the referee counts them out. Kingston slaps him down a few times before dropkicking him into the corner. Kingston hits his vaulting ten punches before hitting the S.O.S. for a near fall. That's a nice move. Kingston misses a running kick, ducks a clothesline, and goes for Trouble in Paradise but Swagger ducks. Swagger goes for a back suplex but Kingston back flips and hits a side Russian leg sweep. Kingston goes for the Boom Drop but Swagger gets up and clotheslines him in the back of the head. Swagger hits a nasty big boot and covers for a near fall. Swagger is bleeding from the ear.
All of a sudden Big Show comes out and says he has one more thing he has to say and it's important. Swagger turns around and Kingston hits him with a cross-body block for the win!Winner by Pinfall: Kofi Kingston
Match Rating: **
Big Show high fives Kofi Kingston. Show says there's one more important Jack Swagger fact. Did you know that Kofi just beat you? They show it on the screen like one of those annoying "Did you know" facts. That was pretty amusing.
Big Show will take on Drew McIntyre in a non-title match. We'll also see MVP and Rey Mysterio take on CM Punk and Luke Gallows. However up next the Peep Show returns.
-Commercial Break-The Peep Show
Christian makes his way to the ring for the first edition of the Peep Show on Smackdown in quite some time. Christian welcomes us to the show and says it feels great to be back on Smackdown. This is the first show back on Friday nights so without further adieu he'd like to get things started. Like he said he's never seen eye to eye with his guest. Christian gives us Hornswoggle. Gag me now!
Hornswoggle impersonates Ric Flair's strut. Christian tells him to give a DX chop and he does. Well the novelty has officially worn out. That's his finisher basically. Christian says they have things in common. They're both on Smackdown, here to make a big impression, and get into a little trouble. Christian says he forgot he has a hard time expressing himself. Christian says he'll teach him some Canadian. Things like "Ay" and "Hoser" are said. Hornswoggle can barely say any of the words. "Beer" is the final word. Mercifully (and I never thought I'd say this) we hear EXCUSE ME!
Vickie Guerrero comes out with Chavo Guerrero. She says she's the official consultant of Smackdown and she's shutting the Peep Show down. She can't believe that Hornswoggle is the number one guest. Vickie calls him a creepy little troll and can't believe he's learning about the worst country in the world. Christian says he was going to teach him another word before she came out: obesity. He has another word: moose. Hornswoggle says it over and over again. Chavo says he can't talk to Aunt Vickie that way. Vickie says if Christian doesn't leave the ring voluntarily then she'll have someone help him.
Hornswoggle gets into a box and Chavo gets in the ring. Chavo talks trash on the apron and then out of nowhere Dolph Ziggler attacks him from behind. He hits the Zig-Zag and Vickie likes what she's seeing. Ziggler stands over Christian as Chavo goes to the top rope. Chavo hits a Frog Splash and Vickie is beaming now.
MVP and Rey Mysterio are walking backstage. They'll be in action next.
-Commercial Break-Rey Mysterio & MVP vs. CM Punk & Luke Gallows
Mr. V's favorite, The Goose, gets a better matchup to officiate here. MVP and Luke Gallows start it out. They lock up and MVP gets a hammerlock. MVP gets a headlock and Gallows whips him off, hitting a shoulder block in the process. Gallows uppercuts him down and sends him into the ropes. MVP ducks a clothesline and hits a forearm. Mysterio is tagged in and MVP gorilla presses him onto Gallows for a near fall. Mysterio hits a running leg drop for a one count. Gallows knees Mysterio and sends him to the ropes but lowers his head, eating a kick. MVP is tagged back in and they double whip him into the ropes for MVP to hit a big boot for a near fall. MVP has a whip reversed to the corner but he elbows Gallows charging. Serena distracts him for a moment, allowing Gallows to rip MVP off the second rope.
We come back from the break MVP trapped in an Indian death lock applied by CM Punk. Gallows is tagged in and he punches away at MVP. Gallows chokes him in the corner until the referee admonishes him. MVP mounts a comeback and goes for a tag but Gallows prevents that. Punk is tagged in and he goes for his high knee in the corner but MVP pushes him off. Punk stops him from making a tag and tags Gallows back in. Gallows drops an elbow for a two count. Gallows hits a body slam and a nice big splash for another near fall. Punk is tagged back in and he hits a nasty roundhouse for a near fall. Swagger is again tagged back in and he works on the ribs of MVP with some punches. Gallows locks a bear hug on and the crowd tries to get MVP back into it. MVP fights up and elbows out. MVP hits a face buster and goes for a tag and finally gets it.
Mysterio springboards off the top with a seated senton. Mysterio ducks a clothesline and hits a springboard cross-body for another near fall. Mysterio pushes Punk off the apron and hits a wheelbarrow bulldog on Gallows for a near fall. Mysterio avoids a body slam and goes for the 619. Punk blind tags in and springboards off the top rope with a clothesline! That gets Punk a near fall! Punk goes for the GTS but Mysterio slides down for a near fall. MVP takes himself and Gallows over the top rope with a clothesline.
Mysterio gets Punk in position and all of a sudden that masked man interferes. Mysterio fights him off and Punk blindsides him. Punk goes for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Mysterio counters into a hurricanrana with a cradle for the win!Winners by Pinfall: Rey Mysterio & MVP
Match Rating: * 3/4
Rey Mysterio dropkicks Punk out of the ring and celebrates with MVP. They show the picture of what Punk would look like bald. Punk's hair is on the line in two days.
Josh Mathews is backstage for an interview and his guest is Drew McIntyre. Mathews asks if he feels he's deserving of the Intercontinental Championship. McIntyre says Matt Hardy deserved exactly what he got when he got a beating he'll never forget. Teddy Long deserved to have his authority completely eviscerated. He deserves to be the chosen one, chosen by the highest authority in the WWE, Mr. McMahon. Kofi Kingston walks up and says the Intercontinental Championship is his. He earned it and deserves it. He wants it back. No note from the boss will get him out of Trouble in Paradise.
Drew McIntyre takes on the Big Show next.
The announcers run down the Over the Limit card.
Big Show makes his entrance and we watch how he cost Jack Swagger a match against Kofi Kingston earlier tonight.
-Commercial Break-Big Show vs. Drew McIntyre
Charles Robinson, my favorite referee, gets this matchup. Drew McIntyre tries to get the quick advantage but Big Show simply chops his chest. McIntyre rolls out of the ring and starts to leave but Big Show grabs him and throws him into the ring. McIntyre catches him coming in the ring but Big Show quickly comes back with a head-butt. Big Show hits a huge body slam and chokes him on the second rope. Big Show quiets the crowd and annihilates his chest again. Big Show again quiets them and kills the chest again. Big Show chokes him with his boot as the crowd chants "one more time." Big Show appeases them and goes for it but McIntyre pokes him in the eye.
McIntyre hits some punches and goes into the ropes only to get beheaded by a clothesline. Big Show head-butts him and McIntyre falls out of the ring. Big Show pulls him back into the ring by his hair and McIntyre counters by snapping his neck off the top rope. McIntyre gets him to his knees and goes for the Future Shock but Big Show doesn't take it. Big Show chops him down and hits some clotheslines. Big Show hits a butt bump in the corner and a shoulder block. Big Show signals for the Chokeslam and he hits it. All of a sudden Jack Swagger runs in and hits a big boot, causing a DQ.Winner by Disqualification: Big Show
Match Rating: *
Jack Swagger hits a pair of Vader Bombs and stomps Big Show's right hand a few times. Swagger grabs a steel chair and charges but Big Show punches the chair out of his hands. Big Show grabs the chair and Swagger bolts from the ring. Big Show looks at him wildly as Swagger backs up the ramp.
Quick Match Results
Michelle McCool* & Layla def. Kelly Kelly & Tiffany*
JTG def. Caylen Croft
Curt Hawkins* & Vance Archer def. Brent Roberts & Jeremy Barner
Kofi Kingston def. Jack Swagger (non-title)
Rey Mysterio* & MVP def. CM Punk* & Luke Gallows
Big Show def. Drew McIntyre via DQ (non-title)Bump of the Night:
Swagger throwing Kingston into the ring post!Match of the Night:
Kingston vs. Swagger **Mike's Thoughts
Great: I take a week off and miss a tremendous Smackdown. I come back and the show is a nightmare. It was like an extended Sunday Night Heat. This was just a really poor edition of the show with not many highlights.
I'll start off with the three highlights from the show. The first would be the opening segment. I absolutely love the Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk feud. Everything these guy do together has been electric. Tonight was no different. I loved the mass induction part. Gallows and Serena were great but Punk is such a character that it's almost comical. I'm not religious so I don't mind him calling himself a savior and all that. I don't even care that he looks like a bum Jesus. I can see why people have been a little testy about it but I personally love it. That's what makes it work. It makes him the most hated heel in WWE. I truly believe that he is. I also like the mystery surrounding the masked member of the S.E.S. It's either Joey Mercury or Scott Hall.
I really liked the match between Jack Swagger and Kofi Kingston. Even though it wasn't really their first ever meeting it was still great. If Kofi didn't have so much momentum taken away but Raw this would be our Main Event Sunday and the Big Show would be fighting Drew McIntyre. The only thing I didn't like is Jack Swagger losing again. I don't care if he is a heel champion. He's still the champion and it really devalues the title if anyone can beat him. Has he won a non-title match since becoming champion? Just that match on the draft Raw: that's all I can remember. He needs to get some solid wins on PPV and in non-title matches. The loss to Undertaker I can understand. Losses to John Morrison and Kofi Kingston? That I can't understand. Back in the day that would mean they're the number one contender. Maybe they'll realize that and book Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. John Morrison vs. Undertaker. That wouldn't be horrible. Fatal Four Way is right around the corner. I can dream...
I'm actually hesitating as I type this because I think I'm getting repetitive but it has to be said. The women's "division" is a complete and total joke. Co-Champions? Are you kidding me? Do that with the ridiculous Diva's Championship, not a title that's been around for sixty years. They've treated the division like a joke and that's what it's become. Michelle McCool and Layla are heat killers yet are pushed each and every week. I really believe that they have a quota of crappy diva segments they need to put in each week. It has once again been fulfilled. There's no face divas left on the show other than Kelly Kelly and Tiffany. Just kill it, at least for now, or send them to Raw where there's an abundance of face Divas. I just don't know if I can recap this GARBAGE anymore.
I didn't really like the Peep Show but I love the prospect of watching Christian in a feud with Dolph Ziggler. After watching them on Superstars I'm excited.
Random thoughts: The Oddities had better music than Drew McIntyre...
Twenty-two days couldn't pass any slower. I'm actually looking forward to Curt Hawkins and Vance Archer's contracts expiring but I'm sure they'll make the impact anyway. Yeah, I'm stuck with them.
What in the blue hell are they doing with JTG? Is there any plan for him or is he doomed to face the Dude Busters for the next two weeks they're on the roster?Final Rating: * 3/4
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Thanks for reading! Enjoy Over the Limit 2010!