“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…” The WWE video leads us into the show.
Theodore Long and Vickie Guerrero open the show in their office. Long says it’s been a whirlwind week in WWE. On Sunday three new champions were crowned at Fatal Four Way, including a new World Champion in Rey Mysterio. In four weeks Rey Mysterio will defend his title at Money in the Bank. Vickie interrupts and says she and Teddy will be evaluating the Smackdown superstars over the next two weeks. They will decide which eight men will compete in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match. They explain the rules of Money in the Bank. The person who wins will have a shot at Smackdown’s World Heavyweight Champion anytime, anywhere.
Vickie then mentions the “vicious” assault on Vince McMahon. She says he’s incapacitated. Drew McIntyre walks in and asks why Long is smiling. McIntyre reminds him that he humiliated Long last week and made him crawl. McIntyre says he’s going to talk to Mr. McMahon about Long at the PPV. Long says he talked to the WWE Board of Directors. Due to the absence of Mr. McMahon they told him to run the show as he pleases. Long’s first action is to reinstate Matt Hardy. His next action will be to book a match for tonight: Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre. Long tells McIntyre to get out of his office and Vickie backs him up, coldly telling McIntyre to get out.
The Smackdown video plays and we’re brought into the arena to hear the sounds of Big Show’s pyro. Big Show comes out smiling and clapping. Todd Grisham and Matt Striker talk about how Kane thinks CM Punk is responsible for the Undertaker being in a vegetative state. They’ll face each other tonight in a No Disqualification Match.
Jack Swagger, now the former World Heavyweight Champion, comes out to the stage. Swagger says he wants everyone to know that he has filed a protest against WWE. He’s protesting the fact that he has to fight a 500 pound giant right now and the fact that he had to defend his title in a fatal four way match, a match so lawless and unpredictable that it’s impossible for even a natural born champion to come out victorious. It was not fair. There were new rules in place to protect him or the champion. Kane cost him the championship and he was cheated. Swagger says he’s invoking his rematch clause at Money in the Bank and he’s confident he’ll be victorious. If there’s one thing his daddy taught him it’s that cheaters never win and winners never cheat. Until then he’ll make everyone suffer just the way he suffered Sunday and the way his dad suffered on Father’s Day.
Big Show vs. Jack Swagger
The bell rings and Big Show backs Swagger into the corner where he kicks and punches him. Big Show chops the chest and hits some body shots. Big Show sits on Swagger leaning on the ropes and hits some more body shots. Big Show gives him a head-butt and he falls out of the ring. Big Show grabs him by the face and lifts him to the apron but Swagger snaps his neck off the top rope. Swagger goes to the top rope and Big Show crotches him. Big Show then hits Swagger with a superplex! Swagger rolls out of the ring and Big Show looks to have had something taken out as well.
We come back from the break to see Big Show elbow Swagger in the arm. Big Show works on the left arm with a hammerlock over the top rope. Big Show lifts him up by the injured arm and slams him down. Big Show then drops a leg on the arm and stands on his chest. Big Show gives the arm a head-butt and I just find that so funny. Big Show punches him down and steps on the arm. Swagger tries for a comeback and goes for a DDT but Big Show flapjacks him off. Big Show sends him to the corner and butt bumps him. Big Show sends him to the other corner and does it again. Big Show signals it’s time for the Chokeslam but Swagger quickly recovers and chop blocks the knee for a one count!
Swagger works on the left knee and DDTs his foot a few times. Swagger locks a submission on but Big Show soon powers him off. Big Show charges him and Swagger kicks him in the knee. Swagger comes off the second rope with a shoulder block for a two count. Swagger gives Big Show a Boom Drop and hits the Vader Bomb. Swagger goes for another and this time Big Show grabs him by the throat. Swagger counters with a roll through and locks on an ankle lock submission. Big Show screams in pain and crawls toward the ropes, drooling like a mad man. Big Show gets to the ropes but Swagger won’t release the hold and Kurt Angle gets disqualified.
Winner by Disqualification: Big Show
Match Rating: * 1/2
Jack Swagger releases the hold after a few more seconds of torture and leaves the ring. Big Show can’t stand and the officials come out to help him. Swagger looks pleased with what he’s done.
The newly reinstated Matt Hardy will take on Drew McIntyre tonight. We’ll also see Kane take on the accused CM Punk in a No Disqualification Match.
The WWE Rewind is Hawkins and Archer defeating MVP and Christian. They got a little help from the referee being distracted.
Curt Hawkins, Vance Archer & Dolph Ziggler vs. MVP, Christian & Kofi Kingston
It’ll be Hawkins starting out against MVP. MVP blocks a punch and takes Hawkins down a few times. Hawkins tries for a clothesline but MVP hits an exploder suplex instead. Christian is tagged in and he punches before sending him into the ropes for a dropkick and a two count. MVP is tagged back in and Hawkins clips the knee. Ziggler is tagged in and tries to whip Hawkins into MVP but MVP gets a boot up. MVP knocks everyone off the apron and hits a plancha on Archer! Kingston hits a suicide dive on Ziggler and Christian hits a nice baseball slide on Hawkins! The faces celebrate in the ring.
We come back from the break to see MVP whips Ziggler into the corner and deliver a forearm for a two count. Kingston tags in and he botches a sunset flip but recovers for a two count. Ziggler shoulder blocks him down, goes into the ropes a few times, and gets taken out by a back elbow for a two count. Ziggler quickly gets back in control but Kingston throws him off and hits a dropkick. Kingston hits a Russian Leg Sweep and goes for a Boom Drop but Hawkins distracts him. Ziggler capitalizes, hitting a snapmare and a rolling neck snapper for a two count.
Vance Archers is tagged in and he hits a rolling neckbreaker for a near fall. Archer applies a chin lock but Kingston fights up and punches out. Kingston goes into the ropes and of course Archer knocks him down for a two count. Hawkins makes the tag and they double team Kingston. Hawkins hits a nice suplex for a two count. Hawkins applies a submission hold and Kingston is quickly up. Kingston hits a jawbreaker but Ziggler tags and stops him before making a tag of his own. Ziggler hits a big elbow drop for a near fall. Ziggler hits a body slam and Kingston hits a kip up hurricanrana. Kingston then tags Christian.
Christian comes in swinging at Ziggler and hits a flapjack. Christian stands on him and vaults over the top rope to punch Hawkins and then Ziggler. Ziggler knocks MVP off the apron but Christian quickly gives him a reverse DDT for a near fall. Christian then knocks Vance Archer off the apron. Christian hits Ziggler with a springboard sunset flip but Ziggler rolls through and hits a leg drop bulldog for a near fall. Christian punches him down and goes to the top rope. Ziggler cuts him off but gets punched off. Christian hits a missile dropkick and it’s broken up by Hawkins. MVP takes Archer out with a cross-body block. Kingston hits Hawkins with Trouble in Paradise as well. Christian blocks a Zig-Zag and hits the Kill Switch for the win!
Winners by Pinfall: MVP, Christian & Kofi Kingston
Match Rating: **
The announcers call this retribution over Hawkins and Archer. I disagree. I think it would have been better retribution if one of those two got pinned instead of Ziggler. Ziggler didn’t need to take the loss here. That was unnecessary.
Kane will take on CM Punk in a No Disqualification Match tonight.
An advertisement plays hyping Rey Mysterio coming to Smackdown with the World Heavyweight Championship. It’s a shame they couldn’t follow up his win on Sunday by having him on the show tonight.
They air the entire Vince McMahon beat down by the NXT Seven. They then announce that the mystery Raw General Manager says the actions will be dealt with.
Kane is backstage with the casket. Kane says they’ll get their vengeance and bring hell down on the guilty culprit. Tonight he’ll eviscerate, break, and decapitate the head of the S.E.S.
Matt Hardy will be in action next against Drew McIntyre.
Did you know that 100 million video clips of WWE Programming have already been watched on YouTube.com/WWE?
Drew McIntyre vs. Matt Hardy
McIntyre talks some trash to start the match. Hardy ducks a punch and they duke it out with Hardy coming out on top. McIntyre quickly rolls out to recovers. McIntyre tries to pull him out but Hardy kicks him away. Hardy throws him into the ring and spears him out of the ring! Hardy tosses him over the steel steps and throws him back in. Hardy stays on the apron and McIntyre drives him back first into the ring post. McIntyre follows him out and hits a dangerous back suplex on the outside! Wow! McIntyre looks for a count-out but Hardy gets back in at nine and seven-eighths!
McIntyre stomps away at Hardy and viciously punches. McIntyre uppercuts him down and gets a near fall. McIntyre is trying to get Hardy to submit but he refuses to. Hardy punches and kicks McIntyre in the face. Hardy goes to the top rope and McIntyre cuts him off. McIntyre head-butts him and hits a sit-out hip toss from the top rope for a near fall! McIntyre punches away at Hardy until the referee backs him up. Hardy fights back, goes into the ropes, and gets taken out for a near fall. McIntyre works on the arm with a submission but Hardy soon gets out. McIntyre takes him down and punches away. McIntyre puts him on the top rope and hits a super back suplex! Hardy gets a rope break to stay alive! The bumps in this match have been impressive!
We come back from the break to see Hardy stuck in an arm bar. Hardy fights up but McIntyre cuts off the momentum. McIntyre clubs him in the corner a few times and hits a short-arm clothesline. McIntyre hits a big stomp to the head and gets a near fall. Hardy fights back and back elbows McIntyre. Hardy hits a headlock neckbreaker for a near fall. McIntyre runs into a Side Effect and Hardy gets another near fall. Hardy clotheslines him in the corner but McIntyre avoids the bulldog. Hardy runs into a bulldog and McIntyre gets a near fall. McIntyre is frustrated to say the least.
McIntyre hits an over-the-knee neckbreaker for a near fall! McIntyre goes for a Future Shock but Hardy back body drops him over the top rope! Hardy then hits an overhyped elbow to the neck off the apron. Hardy goes for a suplex on the outside but McIntyre drives him into the steel steps. McIntyre goes to stomp his head on the steel steps but Hardy sweeps his feet and lays him out on the steps! That gets Hardy a near fall back in the ring. Hardy goes to the second rope and McIntyre rips him off for a near fall. McIntyre picks Hardy up and Hardy hits a Twist of Fate out of nowhere for the win!
Winner by Pinfall: Matt Hardy
Match Rating: ** 1/2
Matt Hardy leaves the ring hurting but victorious. That was an impressive match from the two of them.
Teddy Long appears on the video screen and says he’s “sorry” McIntyre didn’t win his match. Unfortunately he has some bad news. Long was doing some research and it looks like somebody’s visa has expired. Technically somebody is in this country illegally right now. Long then orders security to send Drew McIntyre back to Scotland! McIntyre flips out as security comes to take him away. McIntyre screams for Mr. McMahon as Hardy happily waves goodbye. McIntyre says Mr. McMahon will never allow him to be deported. Security then escorts a very unstable Drew McIntyre out of the arena.
Cody Rhodes comes out to the ring with his NXT Rookie Husky Harris. Matt Striker has no comment on Husky Harris’s attack from Tuesday. Rhodes says the crowd is admiring his great facial features. Rhodes says that he’s WWE’s most attractive superstar. The WWE Divas votes him the most handsome in WWE. His brother Goldust made the list but Rhodes beat out everyone.
Rhodes makes Harris show off his less than stunning body and proceeds to run him down. Rhodes says he represents the average person. Rhodes says he can’t help being good looking. It’s not genetics because have you seen his father and brother? Sometimes a blessing is a curse. Rhodes goes around ringside and runs down some fans, calling them fat. Even Todd Grisham falls victim, being accused of reading comics and RottenTomatoes.com. Tony Chimel even gets it. Chimel is accused of last eating a doughnut before the first match. Rhodes hasn’t had a carbohydrate since Clinton was President.
Rhodes thanks the Divas for voting him most good looking and says they have exquisite taste. Rhodes lays across the ropes like Eddie Guerrero used to do. Rhodes continues to talk about how good looking he is and says they need to consider him for Money in the Bank. Rhodes tells everyone to call him “Dashing” Cody Rhodes. Rhodes then repeats it several times while making some pretty funny poses and changes to the way it’s said.
Vickie Guerrero is backstage looking at a picture of her and Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler walks in and says the relationship was supposed to be two ways. He scratches her back and she scratches his. Ziggler says he gives and gets nothing. He wants gold. Vickie says she gave him a gold chain but he says he wants Intercontinental Championship gold. Ziggler tells her to make it happen.
Kane will take on CM Punk in a No Disqualification Match tonight.
Rosa Mendes is in the ring jumping rope. How stupid and poorly handled is this “division”?
Rosa Mendes vs. Kelly Kelly
Before the match begins Lay-Cool comes to ringside with Kaval in his “Property of Lay-Cool” shirt. What a tool. Mendes jumps rope the whole time. This is so ridiculous and the match hasn’t even begun.
The bell rings and Mendes is still jumping rope. She won’t stop for a few seconds. She then walks into a K2 for the loss. What? I’m at a loss for words here…
Winner by Pinfall: Kelly Kelly
Match Rating: N/A
Kelly takes the jump rope and uses it. Apparently that’s a message that she wants the title. I HATE THIS GARBAGE! Women everywhere should be insulted by this trash.
We see the way Jack Swagger vs. Big Show ended tonight. Swagger was disqualified after refusing to let go of the ankle lock.
A video airs for Alberto del Rio. He says a lot of people talk about his attributes, such as honesty. He says people grow up and become liars. He says he’s the only honest man.
World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio will address the WWE Universe next week!
CM Punk makes his way to the ring except without the S.E.S. Punk says he only has one thing to say: his is the face of an innocent man. That’s a Billy Joel song!
No Disqualification Match
CM Punk vs. Kane
They start punching away as soon as Kane gets in the ring. Kane throws Punk over the top rope quickly and throws him into the barricades a few times. Kane punches Punk down and drives him back first into the canvas. Kane even does a rare gorilla press onto the barricade. Luke Gallows runs down and gets beaten down as well, being bounced off the stairs. Kane finishes him off by sending him into the barricade. Kane clotheslines Punk down and uppercuts the masked S.E.S. member. Kane sends him into the barricade as well.
Serena begs him away and the S.E.S. beats Kane down. Whoever is the masked man is in great shape. They double whip Kane into the barricade and whip Gallows into him. They whip Punk and he gets back dropped over the barricade. Kane fights off the S.E.S. and concentrates on Punk. Kane smashes Punk’s hand on the announcer’s table and steps. This is just a knockdown, drag out brawl. Kane whips Punk into the steps and takes apart the announcer’s table. The masked S.E.S. member tries to stop him and gets Chokeslammed on the floor! Ouch! Nasty bumps galore tonight!!
Kane then goes to Chokeslam Punk through the table but Luke Gallows stops him. Kane counters Gallows and Chokeslams him through the table! During that Punk escapes through the crowd so Kane follows.
In the lobby of the arena Kane catches Punk leaving so he bounces him off a merchandise stand, body slamming him through the table! Kane throws him across a snack table and then slams him through it! Kane punches him out of the arena and Punk runs away. Kane stands watching Punk running down the street. Wouldn’t that be hilarious if you saw a sweaty masked man in his underwear and boots running through your neighborhood? Ok, maybe it wouldn’t be funny at all…
Winner: No Contest
Match Rating: ** 1/2
Quick Match Results
Big Show def. Jack Swagger via DQ
MVP, Christian* & Kingston def. Hawkins, Archer & Ziggler*
Matt Hardy def. Drew McIntyre
Kelly Kelly def. Rosa Mendes
No DQ: CM Punk NC Kane
Bump of the Night: Matt Hardy being back suplexed on the ground, the masked S.E.S. member being Chokeslammed on the ground, Gallows being Chokeslammed through a table, and Punk’s overall beat down!
Match of the Night: Hardy vs. McIntyre & Punk vs. Kane ** 1/2
This was an excellent edition of Smackdown. From top to bottom we had an entertaining show, minus that questionable diva segment. The only thing missing was our World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio but the show was fine without him. He’ll address the fans next week.
We opened up the show with Jack Swagger complaining about losing the championship and then fighting the Big Show. They had an ok match that ended with the debut of Swagger’s newest move: the ankle lock. From dressing up as Kurt Angle at WrestleMania to now stealing one of his finishers… what’s going on here? There are plenty of other submissions for Swagger to take that doesn’t make him seem like a rip off but the only ones who would really notice are people who follow both brands. That discounts about 90% of the WWE’s audience. Still it’s cheap.
I really enjoyed the six man tag except for the fact that Dolph Ziggler took the loss and Vance Archer was involved. I’m sorry I just think that guy is useless. As far as Dolph Ziggler I think he should be a little further ahead than where he is. Hopefully this will culminate with him having a pretty good feud going into Summerslam. I’m really behind Ziggler and I hope he succeeds.
I really, really, really enjoyed the Hardy vs. McIntyre match. They really went all out for this one and, even though he’ll probably go back to jobbing next week, Hardy looked tremendous. They pulled out all the sick bumps in this one and it was entertaining. I like that Long is back in control and it looks like we’ll be losing McIntyre for a little bit. How sad. It’s probably a swerve and he’ll still appear on the show somehow.
Cody Rhodes was entertaining tonight. I’ve never been a big fan of the narcissist gimmick but Rhodes was believable on the microphone and that could make this bad boy work. Rhodes is super talented so I hope he succeeds with this.
Wow… Punk vs. Kane was awesome. There wasn’t much in terms of actual wrestling. It was just a brawl and I was long overdue for a brawl on WWE TV. They also pulled out all stops for this one and it was a lot of fun to watch. I liked Punk’s impression of the greased up deaf guy from Family Guy at the end. I can’t wait to see what they do with these two next week. This Kane storyline is still amazingly interesting. All in all this was a great show.
Final Rating: *** 1/2
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Be sure to check out Tuesday’s NXT recap: click here.
Thanks for reading!