“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…” The WWE video leads us into the show.
A video plays recapping the entire Undertaker vs. Kane feud. It goes from Memorial Day weekend when Undertaker was found in a vegetative state to Kane being revealed as the actual attacker. How did Rey Mysterio know it was Kane? That’s what I want to know.
The Smackdown video plays and we’re brought into the arena with some fireworks. Todd Grisham and Matt Striker welcome us to the show. Tonight Kane will make a major announcement.
Tony Chimel introduces Alberto Del Rio’s personal ring announcer Ricardo Rodriguez. They’re in the ring with the red carpet and balloons at every corner. There’s even a piñata with a Rey Mysterio mask. Alberto Del Rio comes out in a beautiful Bentley. The announcers say that Del Rio fractured Mysterio’s wrist last week. Del Rio gets in the ring and introduces himself. He asks if we remember what he did to Rey Mysterio last week. He reminds us by showing his attack from last week. Del Rio put Mysterio in the Arm Bar before putting his arm in a chair and running him into the ring post.
Del Rio is celebrating ridding Rey Mysterio from the WWE. He proved that Mysterio is weak and a pathetic representation of Mexico. Del Rio says Mysterio is just like an animal. It’s like the piñata or the donkey. Del Rio takes a bat and destroys the piñata. Del Rio says in the end he’s nothing but a broken donkey. Del Rio gets some champagne and toasts to himself. He’s rich, powerful, and everything.
Christian’s music hits and he interrupts Del Rio’s celebration. Christian gets in the ring and says he wanted to introduce himself. Christian says he already knows him. He’s JBL: Juan Bradshaw Layfield. He’s just kidding. He’s a huge, international star: Enrique Iglesias. Christian then sings “Hero”. That was pretty funny. Del Rio says the crowd thinks he’s funny but he’s not.
Christian says he’s not out here to taste his crappy hors d’oeuvres or marvel at his suits. He’s out to say he doesn’t appreciate what he did to his good friend Rey Mysterio: an injured Rey Mysterio at that. Christian saw him hit the donkey but Del Rio is the only jackass he sees. Del Rio asks who he thinks he is ruining the party and disrespecting him. Del Rio thinks Christian wants to end up like Rey Mysterio. Christian asks if he’s challenging him to a fight. If he wants to fight then he’ll do it right here despite him already having a match scheduled. Del Rio orders his butlers out of the ring and asks if he’s sure he wants to do this.
Del Rio takes off his jacket and they go face to face. Del Rio backs up, picks up his jacket, and says there will be another place and time. Christian will pay for this. Del Rio leaves the ring. Out of nowhere Drew McIntyre comes out of the crowd and blindsides Christian. Del Rio comes over and pours champagne over his head.
During the commercial Drew McIntyre continued the assault as they cleared the ring. McIntyre ran his shoulder into the ring steps. They’re working on Christian’s arm that McIntyre injured about a month ago.
Christian vs. Drew McIntyre
The referee makes sure that Christian can go through with the match. Christian says he can and the bell sounds. McIntyre quickly tries to capitalize but Christian blocks. Christian hits some punches but McIntyre cuts him off and executes a hip toss. McIntyre kicks him in the ribs and gets a near fall. McIntyre applies a grounded abdominal stretch. Christian fights up but gets kicked down. McIntyre talks some trash. Christian comes back with some punches but runs right into a bear hug. McIntyre thrashes him around but Christian gets out. Christian then runs into a knee to the midsection. McIntyre goes to the second rope and jumps into the boots.
Christian gets the crowd pumped up and gets to his feet. Christian punches but has a whip reversed. Christian comes back with a forearm smash and a pendulum kick. Christian goes for a cross-body but McIntyre counters into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! That gets him a near fall. Christian rolls outside the ring to recover. That was awesome. Christian is writhing in pain outside. McIntyre stands on the announcer’s table and Christian sweeps his feet. They both get in before being counted out.
McIntyre misses a punch and gets locked up in a Kill Switch attempt. McIntyre counters into an over the shoulder gut buster. McIntyre walks up to Christian and out of nowhere Christian gets a jackknife pin for the win!
Winner by Pinfall: Christian
Match Rating: **
Drew McIntyre is livid in the ring. He can’t believe what just happened. Gee… first he gets beat at home and now in the ring? Too soon?
Tonight Big Show will take on CM Punk and Luke Gallows in a two-on-one handicap match. The S.E.S. is really thin. I’m still PISSED that Serena is gone.
Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McCool
The Goose has this contest. McCool is too worried about something else so Kelly beats her down. Layla is on commentary. McCool hits a belly to belly backbreaker for a near fall. McCool knees her in the back and hits a belly to belly suplex for another near fall. McCool does some push-ups and gloats a little bit. McCool kicks her and talks a little trash. Kelly comes back with a hurricanrana and some clotheslines. Kelly goes for another hurricanrana but McCool counters into the Faith Breaker for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Michelle McCool
Match Rating: *
Lay-Cool stands in the ring with their halves of the Women’s Championship. To think that the Fabulous Moolah proudly held that title for thirty-plus years… She must be rolling over in her grave.
Kane will make a major announcement tonight.
A video recaps WWE’s first trip to China.
Hornswoggle is in Teddy Long’s office with electrodes attached to his head. There is a doctor in the room. Long says he was going to figure out a way to make Hornswoggle to talk. The doctor is a psychologist. They tried everything to make him speak but nothing worked. Now they have to go to extreme measures: electroshock therapy. Long says it’s for his own good. Watching Hornswoggle get a few volts to the skull is for my own good. They shock him a few times but Hornswoggle puts it on the doctor’s head and shocks the crap out of him. He starts smoking and they take off.
JOB ALERT: Chris Masters is in the ring with no TV introduction.
EXCUSE ME! Vickie Guerrero comes out and introduces her boy toy, the Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler.
Chris Masters vs. Dolph Ziggler
Charles Robinson, my favorite referee, has this contest. Ziggler kicks away at Masters but Masters gets some licks in as well. Masters chops the chest and sends him to the corner. Ziggler tried to do the HBK roll up the corner but failed. Masters press slams him and gets backed up by the referee as Ziggler recovered near the ropes. Ziggler hits a surprise neckbreaker on the ropes and gets a near fall. Ziggler drops a big elbow for another near fall. Masters counters a dropkick into a catapult to the corner. Masters goes for the Masterlock but Ziggler escapes. The guy has so much baby oil on you’d think he’d just slide right out. Ziggler hits the Zig-Zag for the easy win. Thanks for making the flight to Albany, Masters.
Winner by Pinfall: Dolph Ziggler
Match Rating: 3/4 *
Big Show is seen walking backstage. He’ll take on CM Punk and Luke Gallows next.
Big Show vs. CM Punk & Luke Gallows
CM Punk will start it out against the Big Show. Punk gets a few quick kicks and avoids the punches. Big Show grabs the leg but Punk rolls out and tags in Luke Gallows. Gallows gets a waist lock but Big Show breaks the grip and takes him down. Big Show rubs his face into the canvas and head-butts him. Big Show chops the chest and Gallows screams in pain. Gallows punches back but can’t whip him. Big Show hits a NASTY back elbow and Gallows rolls out of the ring. Joey Mercury talks things over with Gallows.
Big Show comes outside and Mercury tries to talk some sense into him. Big Show simply squeezes his injured shoulder. Punk kicks him and dropkicks him in the face. Big Show knocks him down and gets back in the ring to break the count. Big Show slams him on the canvas but misses a chop to the chest. Punk won’t let him get back in the ring and Gallows takes him out from behind. Big Show is down on the outside. The S.E.S. wants the count-out. Big Show nearly gets in so Punk kicks away.
Punk hits a few straight right hands that don’t really hurt Big Show. Big Show grabs him by the seat of his tights and sends him to the corner but misses a splash. Punk goes for a springboard clothesline but gets a clothesline in mid-air. Big Show drops an elbow but the pin is broken up by Gallows. Punk gets out of the ring to recover. Punk is against the steps so Big Show thinks “all or nothing”. Big Show goes for a shoulder block but Punk moves. Big Show hits the steps hard as we go to commercial.
We come back from the break to see Punk stomping away. Punk tries to drag him to the corner but can’t. Gallows gets the tag and drops some elbow. Gallows hits a few big splashes for a near fall. Gallows applies a rear chin lock but Big Show fights up and slams him. Big Show hits a nice head-butt and some clotheslines. Big Show puts him in the corner and does the Ho Train! The Godfather lives! Big Show goes for the Chokeslam and pushes him into CM Punk. Big Show then hits Gallows with an alley-oop and applies a modified camel clutch for the win!
Winner by Submission: Big Show
Match Rating: * 3/4
CM Punk looks like he’s going to cry. Then out of nowhere he hits Luke Gallows with the GTS! Is this the end of the S.E.S.? What a damn shame that would be.
Jack Swagger is in the ring with his father Jack Swagger, Sr.! I’m so happy to see that guy back. He’s in a wheelchair and neck brace, still selling the injuries from Kane a few months ago. Swagger is hosting the VIP Lounge as per the stipulation from last week. The ring is decorated with his memorabilia.
Swagger says before he gets to his VIP guest he reminds us what happened last week. He mopped the floor with MVP and wound up here. We see the footage of the takedowns and MVP getting disqualified for slapping during a collegiate rules match. Swagger applied an ankle lock for revenge. Swagger introduces his father, who he calls a victim, survivor, and a Korean War vet. Is the guy 80 years old?
Jack Swagger, Sr. says he’s proud of his son. This proud moment reminds him of his elementary talent show for breaking the national record for consecutive push-ups at nine years old. Swagger, Sr. has his son do some push-ups. They get up to 45 or so which wasn’t the real number. I can barely get through 20 I’m so out of shape…
MVP interrupts and the crowd is crapping all over this. They have to pipe in fake cheers for MVP. This guy used to be so over. This is a tragedy. MVP says there is nothing “BALLIN'” about this VIP Lounge. Swagger says he’s trying to have a moment with his father. MVP says Swagger is the host but it’s still his show. The VIP Lounge is now closed for renovation. MVP empties the ring of his awards and furniture.
MVP wants to fight so Swagger uses his wheelchair bound father as a shield. Eventually Swagger, Sr. gets whipped out of the chair and into the 305. Swagger gets tossed from the ring and MVP hits the BALLIN’ Elbow Drop on his dad. The crowd was at least moderately into that.
Matt Hardy limps down to the ring with his injured foot. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes comes out afterwards. They’ll have a match but before he does Rhodes has something to say to Hardy. Rhodes asks if it really is Matt Hardy and says it is. Rhodes says Hardy hasn’t been paying attention to his grooming tips. Those tips are for people like the fat guy in the crowd. His words, not mine. Rhodes asks if he ever thought about getting the ski slope on his face fixed (his nose). Rhodes makes fun of his facial hair and his gut as well. Everything Hardy does “dashes” his chance of being “dashing”. Rhodes asks if we see the Matt Hardy that revolutionized the TLC match and grew up wanting to be a champion. No, all he sees is Matt Hardy, Version DONE.
Matt Hardy vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes
Hardy pummels Rhodes a bit but Rhodes soon comes back. Rhodes counters a Side Effect but gets hit with some clotheslines. Hardy hits a corner clothesline/bulldog combo. Hardy kicks him in the ribs and Rhodes rolls out of the ring to recover.
We come back from the break to see Rhodes hit Hardy with an uppercut inspired by Goldust. Hardy quickly comes back with a Side Effect for a near fall. Hardy punches away and gets kneed. Hardy sends him over the top rope but Rhodes attempts to skin the cat. Hardy kicks him half-way through. Hardy gets him in the ring and chop blocks the exposed knee. Hardy hits a body slam into the ropes to hurt the knee some more. Hardy applies a single leg crab but Rhodes gets to the ropes for the break.
Rhodes kicks him away but eats a clothesline and elbow drop. Hardy goes for a Twist of Fate but Rhodes sends him to the corner. Rhodes puts him on the top rope but gets knocked off. Hardy misses that elbow to the back of the neck and reinjures his foot. Rhodes drops a knee on the injured foot off the second rope. Rhodes hits Cross Rhodes for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: “Dashing” Cody Rhodes
Match Rating: * 1/2
Kane will make his major announcement next.
Kane’s pyro hits and he appears on a video backstage laughing. Kane says the final chapter in every great saga always comes. For some it’s Armageddon, for some it’s the apocalypse, and for some it’s the end of the world. For his brother, the Undertaker, the end of his world and existence will come to an end at Night of Champions. That night he will defend his title against the Undertaker. Night of Champions will be the crowning moment of his life when he finally lays his brother to rest. Undertaker says the deadly sin that haunts him is envy and that’s true. But unlike Undertaker, he recognizes his vices. While Undertaker’s pride will lead to his undoing, his envy only makes him more powerful. Kane has longed for his powers more than he could ever know and now, after all these years, they are his.
Kane laughs as the druids escort a red casket down to the ring. They put it ringside and leave. The lid opens and Kane sits up laughing. Kane gets in the ring and laughs maniacally. Kane says he wishes he could see the look on his brother’s face right now. Kane wishes he could be there to see his expression when he realizes there is nothing he can do to stop him. The look when he realizes that the Undertaker walks in his shadow. For far too long he’s been “the other brother”, the afterthought.
Kane laughs and says things have changed. When he looks at his big brother now the only thing he sees is weakness. Kane saw his weakness the night he attacked him and left him comatose. He saw it at Summerslam when he dropped him on his head. He then saw his weakness when he proved he was no longer the Phenom. Footage is shown of Wade Barrett hitting the Wasteland on Undertaker and Justin Gabriel hitting the 450 Splash. Kane says while the rest of the world waited for the Undertaker to rise up, he knew that he would just lay there like the mangled wretch he’s become. Kane says Undertaker’s powers are gone and they belong to him. When their saga is over, the Undertaker will be no more. The man once known as the Phenom will become a memory known as “Kane’s brother”. At Night of Champions Undertaker will feel his rage and there is nothing he can do about it. He is powerless to stop him. Kane screams that nothing can stop him.
The GONG hits and the Undertaker makes his amazing entrance to the ring. Undertaker looks intense as he gets in the ring. Kane laughed during the whole entrance. Undertaker gets ready to charge and the lights go out. When they come back on Kane is nowhere to be found. Undertaker slowly approaches the casket, which is now closed, and opens it. Kane isn’t in there.
All of a sudden Kane appears on the video screen backstage, still laughing hysterically. Kane says Undertaker may not have taught him everything about evil but he’s wrong to assume that he has anything left to learn. They were called the Brothers of Destruction but after Night of Champions Undertaker will be known as the brother he destroyed! Kane laughs and his pyro goes off in the ring. Undertaker stares wildly at the screen as Kane laughs maniacally.
Quick Match Results
Christian def. Drew McIntyre
Michelle McCool def. Kelly Kelly (non-title I guess)
Dolph Ziggler def. Chris Masters (non-title)
Big Show def. CM Punk & Luke Gallows* via Submission
“Dashing” Cody Rhodes def. Matt Hardy
Bump of the Night: McIntyre countering a cross-body into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!
Match of the Night: Christian vs. Drew McIntyre **
Before I start my thoughts I’d just like to send out a huge thank you to Anthony Valvo and Josh Boutwell for covering for me last week. They both did an excellent job on the recaps and I’m proud to say that they are my colleagues. Thanks guys!
The one thing I take away from this show is it start strong and ended strong. That’s really all I can say. The rest of the show, with the exception of two matches, was a throwaway.
The show started out on a positive with the red hot Alberto Del Rio. It’s amazing that this guy has only been around for three weeks and he’s drawing an incredible amount of heat. This guy really has something cooking here and he could be a force to be reckoned with in the future, provided they don’t screw it all up. He’s got tremendous ability both on the mic and in the ring. He’s a total natural out there. I’m not sure what they’ll do with him between now and the time Rey Mysterio comes back but I can’t wait to see.
The Kane vs. Undertaker feud is so outdone but I have to give props to both men, and the writers, because this is the best feud in WWE right now. It’s old but it feels incredibly fresh. It’s not the same old story and it’s so much fun to watch. The Undertaker being the underdog is something new that hasn’t been done too much throughout his career. I hope it doesn’t just end at Night of Champions. I really think they could milk this until Survivor Series. Whatever they do, they need to keep this going. It gets better and better every week.
Random thought: I just watched the Addams Family today and Kane really looks like Uncle Fester. It was crazy how similar they looked one shot during Undertaker’s entrance.
Final Rating: ** 1/2
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Be sure to check out Tuesday’s NXT season finale recap.
Thanks for reading!