“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…” The WWE video leads us into the show.
A new Smackdown video plays (I think Green Day is doing the new theme) and we’re brought into the arena. Todd Grisham and Matt Striker welcome us to the match. MVP and Dolph Ziggler made their entrances during the “Countdown to Smackdown” special.
WWE Intercontinental Championship Match
MVP vs. Dolph Ziggler (c) w/ Vickie Guerrero
They lock up and roll around the mat. MVP powers Ziggler to the corner and Ziggler gets a cheap shot. Ziggler hits a fireman’s carry takedown for a one count. Ziggler drops some elbows followed by his jumping elbow drop for a two count. Ziggler quickly applies a sleeper hold but MVP quickly backs him to the corner and snapmares him off. MVP hits two German suplexes and a running kick to the face for a near fall. MVP forearms him and sends him to the ropes. Ziggler ducks a clothesline but can’t avoid the belly to belly overhead suplex. Ziggler rolls out of the ring to recover.
The Nexus comes down and assaults Dolph Ziggler out of nowhere, causing the match to be thrown out.
Winner: No Contest
Match Rating: 1/2 *
The Nexus (minus Wade Barrett) surrounds the ring and gets in. They circle MVP. MVP tries to fight them off but the numbers quickly overpower him. The Nexus lays a beat down on MVP. David Otunga hits his Ron Simmons Spinebuster and they set him up for Justin Gabriel. Gabriel goes to the top rope and hits the 450 Splash! That was picture perfect!
All of a sudden Big Show walks down to the ring looking really upset. They try to attack him before he gets in the ring but he swats them all away. They soon bring him down to his knees and kick him out of the ring!
Now John Cena’s music hits and he runs down to the ring! Cena tries to beat them up but they quickly take him down. Big Show then gets in the ring and cracks Heath Slater in the back! The Nexus quickly clears the ring and backs up the ramp.
Wade Barrett appears on the video screen. Barrett says this is a monumental evening and this is a monumental event. This is the last beating that John Cena will receive from the Nexus. Barrett reminds us of the stipulations at Hell in a Cell: if Cena wins then the Nexus is finished. If Barrett wins then Cena must join the Nexus. Teddy Long is standing next to him, not looking happy. Barrett has something to say that will change Smackdown for good. It’s the premiere of Smackdown on SyFy. He’s close friends with the President of the network, who is also a fellow countryman. He’s letting Barrett make some match suggestions.
Long says the Big Show will compete in a 5-on-1 Handicap Match against the Nexus. John Cena will also face the World Heavyweight Champion Kane! Big Show and John Cena don’t look too happy with what’s just transpired.
Michael Cole joins Todd Grisham and Matt Striker for commentary. Cole says that’s a taste of what they’ve been dealing with on Raw.
Lay-Cool, Maryse & Alicia Fox vs. Natalya, the Bella Twins & Kelly Kelly
Alicia Fox starts out against Kelly Kelly. They soon double clothesline one another. Natalya is tagged in against Maryse. She hits a double arm suplex and a snap suplex. Natalya then hits a Michinoku Driver for a near fall. Natalya takes Maryse down with a spinning clothesline and locks the Sharpshooter on. McCool quickly runs in and kicks Natalya. The Bella Twins run in and break it up. The girls clear the ring of one another and Layla celebrates next to McCool. Layla is then pulled half-way under the ring. Hornswoggle then comes out and chases Layla around the ring. McCool then lays him out with a big boot!
Natalya takes them out with a baseball slide. Maryse comes from behind and kicks Natalya. Natalya reverses a suplex into the Sharpshooter for the submission win!
Winners by Submission: Natalya, the Bella Twins, & Kelly Kelly
Match Rating: 1/2 *
Jack Swagger will have an All American American Homecoming Celebration next.
The ring is decorated with banners and Swagger’s Sooners jersey. Jack Swagger comes out in a robe with an Eagle mascot. He also comes out to the “Boomer Sooner” song. Swagger grabs the microphone and thanks Oklahoma for the reception (it wasn’t a bad one). Swagger wonders what kind of premiere this would be without him. Swagger has a huge announcement tonight but before he gets there he has something to say. Swagger has a problem with every Oklahoman in this building, as well as the state of Oklahoma! Swagger says he put Oklahoma on the map but when he comes home he doesn’t even get a parade. Swagger is still waiting for “Jack Swagger Day” and a key to the city.
That’s why he and the Swagger Soaring Eagle (his mascot) have moved out of Oklahoma. They’ve gone somewhere with class: TEXAS! Oh man he better be careful leaving the arena. Swagger shoots the Longhorns signal and says “God Bless Texas”! Swagger says tomorrow’s game will be a Texas blowout. Despite the fact that they didn’t throw him a parade, he and the eagle will be the bigger men. Swagger will continue to give back to Oklahoma because he’s their king. There’s only one person qualified for this coronation so by the power invested in Swagger, he hereby proclaims himself the official, undisputed King of Oklahoma! Swagger takes a crown out and puts it on his head. The eagle bows to him and Swagger tells the crowd to worship him.
Edge’s music hits and the Rated R Superstar makes his way to the ring. Swagger says the people are in the process of worshipping him. Swagger says they don’t want Edge out there and tells them to continue. Edge says after he was involved in that ridiculous incident on Monday with the computer, he promised himself that he’d go on a mission to rid WWE of stupidity. Swagger says he has his own mascot. That’s not stupid: that’s cool. Edge says the mascot is ridiculous.
Edge makes fun of his lisp and says the Swagger Soaring Eagle is stupid. Edge says the eagle, crown, and cape is stupid. Edge says his mission begins now. The eagle jumps in front of Swagger to protect him. The eagle pokes Edge and he punches it down. Swagger quickly gets out of the ring and yells about his eagle. The eagle slowly gets up and Edge Spears it down! Yes, Edge Speared an eagle mascot on Smackdown’s premiere on SyFy. So far this hasn’t been too hot of a show.
John Cena will take on Kane with the Nexus serving as Lumberjacks in the main event.
Wade Barrett is backstage with the Nexus. He says they need to push the envelope further. Barrett says if anyone on Smackdown lays a finger on them then they’ll be suspended indefinitely. Barrett says they need to talk some strategy and they huddle.
“Dashing” Cody Rhodes is back with some tips on avoiding sweaty and stinky armpits. Rhodes reminds everyone to wear deodorant… but his key is keeping your armpits shaven. I don’t think I’ll be shaving my armpits anytime soon… I guess I’m not one step closer to dashing.
5-on-1 Handicap Match
The Nexus vs. Big Show
Charles Robinson, my favorite referee in the world, is the official for this match. They’re not tagging in and out. They punch him back into the corner and he fights them off. Big Show tosses Slater and Gabriel out of the ring with one hand. They soon gain the advantage after Barrett hits him with a big boot. They take him down and Barrett chokes him out with a head-scissors. The other four pull on his limbs. Big Show can’t tap out so he has no choice but to be choked out. Robinson calls for the bell.
Winners by Referee’s Decision: The Nexus
Match Rating: No stars
Justin Gabriel goes to the top rope and hits another picture perfect 450 Splash on the Big Show. Barrett tells him to do it again. Gabriel again goes to the top rope and botches a 450 Splash, hitting Big Show with his knees. The Nexus then poses for the crowd.
Rey Mysterio returns to Smackdown tonight!
During the commercial break, the Big Show was holding his ribs while walking up the ramp.
A video is played highlighting the Undertaker vs. Kane storyline. It gets us to the point of Paul Bearer’s return. OHHH YES! That was an awesome video.
CM Punk makes his way to the ring to take on the Undertaker.
CM Punk vs. Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer
CM Punk quickly starts punching away at the Undertaker in the corner. The referee backs him up and Undertaker throws Punk right out of the ring. Undertaker sends him into the barricade and lays him out on the apron. Undertaker kicks him in the head and gets on the apron. Undertaker then drops his signature leg drop. “That is vintage Undertaker!” says Michael Cole. Undertaker puts Punk in the ring for a near fall.
Undertaker wrenches the arm and walks the ropes for Old School. Punk gets up in the corner and avoids a running big boot. Punk kicks Undertaker down and chokes him with his boot. Punk drives his shoulder into the midsection and hits his high knee/bulldog combo. Undertaker then sits up and looks wildly at Punk! Punk gets sent to the ropes, ducks a clothesline, but is soon clotheslined down. Undertaker puts him in the corner and hits a clothesline. Undertaker hits his snake eyes/big boot combo, followed by the leg drop (brother) for a near fall. Undertaker waits for him to get up and Chokeslams him down! Undertaker signals for the finish and hits the Tombstone Piledriver for the win!
Winner by Pinfall: Undertaker
Match Rating: *
Paul Bearer gets in the ring and we’re shown replays of the finish. We then see Undertaker salute the urn! My goodness, I missed Paul Bearer.
Rey Mysterio returns to Smackdown next! He’ll take on Alberto Del Rio!
The WWE Smack of the Night is Alberto Del Rio fracturing Rey Mysterio’s wrist last month.
Ricardo Rodriguez is in the ring and he introduces Alberto Del Rio, who drives into the arena with another beautiful car. It’s interesting to note that he is not dressed to compete. We’re shown footage of him taking out Christian last week.
Alberto Del Rio introduces himself and puts over the premiere of Smackdown on SyFy. Del Rio talks about all the great superstars that are there, especially the Mexican icon… him! Del Rio says he’s just here to introduce the man he exposed as a powerless, weak peasant like us. Just a few weeks ago he broke his arm. Tonight he’s here to say he’s sorry and give him a big kiss right on the cheek. What?! Del Rio then introduces Rey Mysterio!
Ricardo Rodriguez comes to the ring with a chihuahua wearing a tiny Rey Mysterio mask and its arm bandaged. That’s pretty funny. Del Rio holds the dog up with one hand and he apologizes to the dog. Del Rio says he’s sorry he hurt the dog. Del Rio then kisses the dog on the head. How sweet… Del Rio says he’s just kidding and Rey Mysterio will be here tonight.
Rey Mysterio’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring! Mysterio gets in the ring and beats on Del Rio a bit. Mysterio dropkicks him into position and goes for the 619 but Ricardo Rodriguez holds his legs. Del Rio escapes the ring so Mysterio beats on Rodriguez. Mysterio dropkicks him into position and hits the 619! Mysterio points at Del Rio, who is cowardly backing up the ramp. Del Rio doesn’t want any of Rey Mysterio tonight.
Randy Orton’s music hits and the WWE Champion makes his way to the ring!
Randy Orton vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes w/ Drew McIntyre
The Goose, Mr. V’s favorite referee, is the official for this match. This is a rematch of two former Legacy members. Orton quickly kicks Rhodes. Rhodes soon gains the advantage but misses a Nature Boy knee drop. Orton hits an uppercut and Rhodes rolls to the apron. Orton goes for his DDT but Rhodes gets out of it. Rhodes goes into the ropes and runs right into a powerslam. Rhodes gets out of the ring to recover. Orton follows but McIntyre distracts him. Rhodes sends him into the ring post and rolls him back into the ring.
Rhodes quickly works over the arm and gets a two count. Rhodes kicks him in the corner and hits a snapmare. Rhodes applies an arm bar variation. Orton soon fights up and punches out. Rhodes clubs him down but misses the Beautiful Disaster. Orton hits his signature spinebuster and the RKO out of nowhere for the win!
Winner by Pinfall: Randy Orton
Match Rating: * 1/2
Drew McIntyre runs in and goes for his Future Shock DDT but Orton gives him a back body drop. Orton drops him with an RKO and turns into a clothesline from Sheamus! Orton slowly gets up and Sheamus takes him out with the bicycle kick! Sheamus stands over the WWE Champion looking satisfied.
John Cena will take on Kane with the Nexus serving as Lumberjacks later tonight.
A video highlights all the great things that WWE has done with the Make a Wish Foundation.
The World Heavyweight Champion Kane makes his way to the ring. He’ll take on John Cena next, with the Nexus serving as Lumberjacks.
Kane vs. John Cena
Lumberjacks: The Nexus
Charles Robinson is back to referee his second match. Kane quickly knees John Cena down and stomps him. Kane shoulders him in the corner and uppercuts him down. Kane hits a snapmare followed by a low dropkick to the face for a near fall. Kane punches and knees Cena in the corner. Kane sends Cena hard into the corner and kicks him in the head for a near fall. Kane applies a modified arm bar but Cena soon fights up. Cena knees Kane but Kane quickly throws him out of the ring. The Nexus quickly pounces on Cena and punches away. Kane smiles as they roll him back into the ring.
We come back from the break to see Cena trapped in a body scissors sleeper hold as the Nexus watches on from ringside. Cena soon fights up and slides out. Cena punches but Kane floors him with an uppercut. Kane goes to the top rope and goes for his clothesline but Cena moves. Cena comes back with some flying shoulder block and Cena takes him down with a back suplex. Cena hits the 5 Knuckle Shuffle and sets up for the Attitude Adjustment but Kane slides off. Kane goes for a Chokeslam Cena gets out and clotheslines him out of the ring.
The Nexus thinks about attacking Kane but stop. They go to get into the ring and Cena knocks them off. Kane knocks the Nexus out and Cena fights them off as well. Cena backs up the ramp.
Winner: No Contest
Match Rating: * 1/4
All of a sudden the GONG hits and the lights go out! When they come back on Undertaker is in the ring! Undertaker punches Kane and clotheslines him out of the ring. Undertaker throws him over the announcer’s table and throws him into the crowd! They fight through the crowd, trading blows. Kane rakes the eyes and comes back with some punches. They go back to ringside and Undertaker bounces him off the ring steps. Undertaker sends him into the barricade and punches away wildly.
Kane gets into the ring and big boots Undertaker down coming in. Paul Bearer is in the ring and Undertaker sits up! Kane grabs Undertaker’s throat but Paul Bearer raises the urn and grabs Kane’s throat! Undertaker drops Kane with a Chokeslam! Undertaker signals for the end and goes for the Tombstone but Kane gets out of the ring! Undertaker salutes the urn to finish the show.
Quick Match Results
* Intercontinental Title Match: Dolph Ziggler NC MVP
* Natalya, the Bellas & Kelly Kelly def. Lay-Cool, Maryse & Alicia Fox via Submission
* The Nexus def. Big Show via Referee’s Decision
* Undertaker def. CM Punk
* Randy Orton def. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes (non-title)
* Kane NC John Cena (non-title)
Bump of the Night: Justin Gabriel’s botched 450 Splash on Big Show!
Match of the Night: Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes * 1/2
I think the guide on my cable box incorrectly listed this show as Smackdown because I’m pretty sure that this Raw with blue ropes. The show opened and closed with matches that featured non-finishes and every inter-promotional match featured a Raw guy defeating a Smackdown guy. I remember how great the show was two years ago when Smackdown went from the CW Network to MyNetwork TV. They stuck with all the things that made the show successful. The show had good, long matches and a strong main event. This show had neither of those things and was ultimately a disappointment in my eyes.
The worst part was they barely followed up with Paul Bearer’s huge surprise return last week. I always thought Paul Bearer was a good promo so why not have him cut one before or after the match to tie some things together? Even if it was just to say he understood why Undertaker nearly killed him six years ago in a concrete crypt would have been enough for me. The promo could have simply reintroduced him to the younger crowd who may not know who he is. Instead he was just a background character when he could have put a little more fire into the feud. That was a wasted opportunity. Hell, the whole show was a wasted opportunity. Hopefully the show will get back to normal next week.
Final Rating: ** 1/4
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Be sure to check out my FINAL NXT recap from Tuesday: click here
Thanks for reading! Enjoy Hell in a Cell 2010!