“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…” The WWE video leads us into the show.
Kane’s pyro hits and the World Heavyweight Champion makes his way to the ring. Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, and Michael Cole welcome us to the show. Kane gets in the ring and he is not looking happy at all. Kane mentions that Edge abducted the one thing that means more to him than the World Title and his life – Edge abducted his father Paul Bearer. Last week Edge then humiliated him and Paul Bearer in his perverted game of cat and mouse. Edge mentally tortured Bearer by making him play dodge ball and smothering him in pizza and chicken wings. Most of all he used Bearer as bait to have Kane walk in on a trap. Then to top it all off Edge taunted him with an empty wheelchair to prevent him from defending his title yet despite all that he stands before us as the World Heavyweight Champion.
Kane asks who he is without Paul Bearer. The abduction is unprecedented and unlawful but he is willing to not press charges and let this whole thing slide. All Edge has to do is bring back Paul Bearer. If he does then Kane will promise not to destroy and annihilate him. Kane even promises not to eviscerate him. Kane isn’t who we think he is. Kane is not a freak or a monster. This hardened exterior that we see isn’t really him. Kane has feelings and he’s a human being. Deep down he’s a warm and caring human being who wants to be with his family for the holidays. Kane loves Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, and New Years. He just wants his father back.
Edge’s music hits and he makes his way to the stage with an empty wheelchair. Kane doesn’t look happy at all. Edge asks how he’s doing and says he too loves the holidays. Edge says Paul Bearer was sitting in this wheelchair a few minutes ago and if Kane wants him back then all he has to do is ask. Kane screams that he has been asking. Edge says he’s not going to get Bearer back with that attitude. Edge asks where Kane’s manners are and says his daddy must not have taught him any manners. Edge says he has to ask nicely. Kane asks kind of nicely and Edge says Kane didn’t use the magic word “please”. Kane asks if he can have Paul Bearer back, please.
Edge says that wasn’t a proper “please” at all. Kane quietly says please and the crowd chants for him to get on his knees. Kane calmly asks if he can have Paul Bearer back, please. Edge says that was so insincere and Kane didn’t mean a word of that. Edge says goodbye and walks off with the wheelchair. Kane looks livid standing in the ring.
Coming up next we’ll see Kofi Kingston take on Jack Swagger in a King of the Ring Qualifying Match.
King of the Ring Qualifying Match
Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger w/ Swagger Soaring Eagle
I thought the Eagle got fired! Mr. V is going to be so happy!
They circle the ring and lock up. Swagger gets a front face lock and takes him down for a one count. They circle the ring again and lock up. Swagger takes him down with a waist lock and rolls him around the ring. Swagger picks Kingston up, takes him down, and gets a bridge pin for a two count. Kingston fights up and Swagger powers him to the corner. Kingston explodes out of the corner and gets a two count. Kingston gets a crucifix pin for another two count. Kingston gets another pin but Swagger grabs the ropes and rolls out of the ring to get advice from the Eagle.
Swagger gets back in the ring and they lock up. Swagger backs Kingston into the ropes and knees him in the midsection. Swagger sends him to the ropes but misses a clothesline. Swagger blocks a dropkick and catapults Kingston into the corner. Kingston counters by landing on the second rope and hitting a cross-body block for a two count. Swagger grabs the ropes and the referee backs up Kingston. Kingston sidesteps Swagger but Swagger elbows him. Swagger clubs away at him and grinds his face into the mat. Kingston punches but Swagger gets a side headlock. Kingston twists out and gets a headlock of his own. Swagger whips him off and hits a shoulder block. Swagger goes into the ropes so Kingston leapfrogs him but gets his leg caught on Swagger. Swagger chop blocks the knee and gets the Ankle Lock. Kingston gets to the ropes.
Swagger works over the injured left leg with a leg DDT and a leg lock. Kingston eventually kicks him off and rolls out of the ring to recover.
We come back from the break to see Kingston hit a monkey flip on Swagger. Kingston charges but Swagger puts him on the apron. Kingston punches him and goes for a springboard cross-body but the Eagle grabs his ankle. Kingston kicks the Eagle and Swagger knocks him off the apron. Swagger rolls Kingston back in the ring and gets a near fall. Swagger applies a body scissors and a chin lock for good measure. Kingston elbows out and goes into the ropes. Swagger misses a clothesline but doesn’t miss a knee to the midsection.
Swagger kicks away at the midsection. Swagger pumps himself up and stretches Kingston out over the ropes. Kingston smashes his head against a camera accidentally. Swagger goes crazy and punches away. The Eagle even gets a shot in. Swagger uses the ropes to apply an abdominal stretch. Kingston falls into the ring and Swagger gets a pin for a near fall. Swagger continues to work the midsection but Kingston fights up. Kingston powers him to the corner but Swagger counters with snake eyes. Swagger taunts the crowd and kicks Kingston out of the ring. The Eagle is laughing at ringside.
Swagger goes outside and Kingston fights him. Kingston blocks a stair shot and bounces Swagger’s face off them instead. Kingston rolls him into the ring but gets immediately clotheslined as soon as he gets in. That gets Swagger a near fall. Swagger applies a double under-hook submission but Kingston fights up. Kingston gets out but gets punched right back down. Swagger punches him again but gets kicked.
Kingston comes back with kicks to the corner and goes wild on him with punches. Kingston hits Swagger with some slaps and a nice dropkick. Kingston goes into the ropes but misses a superman punch. Kingston flips out of a back suplex and smashes Swagger into the corner. Swagger is laid out and hanging on the bottom turnbuckle so Kingston improvises and hits the Boom Drop there. Kingston goes to the apron and goes to the top rope. Kingston goes for a cross-body but Swagger catches him and slams him down! Swagger goes for the Vader Bomb but Kingston kicks him in the face! Swagger runs into a pendulum kick and Swagger grabs the ankle. Kingston counters by driving him into the ring post shoulder first. Kingston then hits him clean with the Trouble in Paradise for the win!
Winner by Pinfall: Kofi Kingston
Match Rating: ** 3/4
Kofi Kingston celebrates big time after the win. Kingston is in the quarterfinals of the King of the Ring Tournament.
Kane is in Teddy Long’s office. Kane apologizes for scaring him and destroying his office. Kane is just asking, man to man, to do what’s right. Kane says Long must’ve been close with his father. Long says he barely knew his father but that didn’t stop him from being who he is or reaching for the stars. All of a sudden Edge appears on a big screen TV. Edge says he never had a father either but that’s a story for another time. There are some things that can’t be stopped, like Mother Nature calling. The camera zooms out to reveal Paul Bearer. Edge says they’re on the other side of the arena. Edge takes the duct tape off Bearer’s mouth and Bearer screams that Edge deserves not to have a father. No one in the arena deserves to have a father and if they did they’d still be bastards! Edge puts the tape over his mouth and wheels him into the men’s room. Kane runs out to go there.
Kane is outside the men’s room and yelling for Bearer to come out. Kane rips the door open and there’s an empty wheelchair in there with a sign that says, “Gone Fishin'”. The announcers talk about what just happened before talking about the King of the Ring Tournament. They talk about one of the guys who will have an opportunity to get in the tournament tonight Alberto Del Rio.
Josh Mathews is with Alberto Del Rio. Mathews mentions that Del Rio was knocked out by Big Show at Survivor Series and mentions he’s the underdog tonight. Del Rio says he learned a valuable lesson at Survivor Series – never share the spotlight with people who aren’t your equals. That’s what Big Show is – not his equal. Tonight he’ll be victorious and next Monday on Raw he will be King Alberto Del Rio. That match is next.
Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio to the ring. This is my favorite entrance in all of WWE right now.
King of the Ring Qualifying Match
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show
They circle the ring and Del Rio tries talking to the Big Show a little bit. Big Show laughs, asking Del Rio if he really thinks he’s better than him. Del Rio sidesteps him and punches but Big Show swats him away. Del Rio hits a dropkick that does little to hurt him. Del Rio goes to the top rope but Big Show grabs him by the throat. Del Rio manages to get out of that by jumping to the outside. Del Rio recovers as we go to commercial.
We come back from the break to see Del Rio applying a waist lock to Big Show. Big Show scoffs, breaks the grip, and butt bumps him. Big Show quiets the crowd down and chops the hell out of Del Rio’s chest. Del Rio tries to kick the knee but Big Show head-butts him down. Big Show hits a second head-butt and chokes him on the second rope. Big Show clubs him down and picks him up. Del Rio hits a jawbreaker and punches. Del Rio goes into the ropes but gets caught in a Chokeslam attempt. Del Rio gets out of that and dropkicks the knee.
Del Rio dropkicks the knee again and gets a two count. Del Rio continues kicking away at the knee and runs right into a pair of clotheslines. Big Show sends him to the corner and misses a splash. Del Rio hits a step ladder enzuigiri and Big Show falls to a knee. Del Rio goes for the Cross Arm Breaker but Big Show counters into a Samoan Drop. Big Show signals for the Knockout Punch but Del Rio runs out of the ring. Big Show follows and Del Rio kicks him in the knee. Big Show chops away at him a few times. Big Show throws him in the ring and Ricardo Rodriquez grabs his ankle. Big Show knocks him out at ringside and gets counted out!
Winner by Count-Out: Alberto Del Rio
Match Rating: * 1/4
Edge’s voice sounds through the arena and Edge is in a luxury box with Paul Bearer. Edge says on behalf of himself and Paul Bearer he’d like to wish the crowd a happy holiday. Edge says the holidays aren’t just about food they’re about conversing. Edge wants Kane to come out for a chat. Edge takes the tape off Bearer’s mouth and he screams for Kane. Kane comes to the stage and says, “How dare you”. Edge says, “How dare I what? Shove Paul Bearer down these stairs?” Kane says Edge is a cold-blooded miscreant. He’s heartless and a monster.
Edge says after all the things Kane has done to people over the years it kind of sounds like he’s describing himself. Edge says tonight he’ll do the right thing. Edge says he’ll ask the people what he should do to Paul Bearer. Edge says maybe Bearer would like to ask the crowd what to do. Bearer screams that he hates the crowd. Edge asks if he should give Bearer back to Kane and they scream “NO”. Edge asks if he should shove Bearer down the stairs. They overwhelmingly say, “YES”! Kane says Edge wins. This is all about getting another title match so Kane offers it. Edge accepts the match and says since Kane put it that way Kane might as well join them. Edge says he’s taking Bearer to the hot dog stand so he might as well join them there.
Kane races up the stairs through the crowd. Kane goes to the hot dog stand to find an empty wheelchair. Kane is frustrated.
King of the Ring Qualifying Match
MVP vs. Drew McIntyre
Charles Robinson, my favorite referee, is the official for this match. They lock up and McIntyre powers him to the corner. McIntyre talks trash and slaps him. MVP slaps back, shoves him into the corner, and punches away. MVP hits a drop-toe-hold and clubs. MVP hits a running knee to the back of the head for a near fall. MVP mounts him and punches away. MVP then hits a baseball slide that sends McIntyre out of the ring. MVP follows and bounces him off the barricade. MVP goes to launch him into the steps but McIntyre slides off and stomps on MVP’s arm against the steps.
McIntyre gets in the ring and looks for a count-out before changing his mind. McIntyre continues working the arm against the stairs before putting MVP in the ring and getting a two count. McIntyre stomps the arm and the knee for good measure. McIntyre stomps the face and applies an overhead wristlock. MVP fights up but McIntyre takes him down with an arm breaker for a near fall. McIntyre punches away and MVP rolls to the outside to recover. McIntyre grinds his face against the steps but MVP sweeps his feet before stomping him.
MVP gets in the ring and clotheslines McIntyre a few times once he comes back in. MVP hits a throat thrust and a face buster. MVP hits the BALLIN’ Elbow Drop and sets up. MVP goes for the Playmaker but McIntyre gets out and punches the arm. MVP blocks some punches. McIntyre sends MVP to the corner. MVP attempts a slingshot but his arm gives out. McIntyre then hits the Future Shock DDT for the win!
Winner by Pinfall: Drew McIntyre
Match Rating: * 3/4
Jack Swagger is berating the Swagger Soaring Eagle saying his loss if his fault. Swagger walks away and we see Hornswoggle dressed as a Native American. Rosa Mendes serves him a burnt turkey and he doesn’t look happy. Hornswoggle then sees the Eagle and shoots it with his bow and arrow. Hornswoggle grabs his knife and fork and walks off screen. Never mind – Mr. V is not going to be happy with this.
Lay-Cool’s music hits and they walk to the ring with microphones. Layla says this is the worst week ever. McCool says it started off Sunday when Natalya stole the Diva’s Championship. That’s their property and it doesn’t even look cute on her. Then Monday night Natalya had them kicked out of Raw. Natalya is such a hater. McCool says they hate Raw. Layla says today they are in McCool’s hometown of Jacksonville. McCool says it’s a beautiful city and says everyone looks gorgeous. They then say “NOT”! McCool says to forget about the divas who want to be them. They have each other. They will always be FLAWLESS.
Michelle McCool w/ Layla vs. Kelly Kelly
Kelly kicks Layla off the apron and rolls up McCool for a no count. McCool hits a belly-to-belly suplex for a near fall. McCool bounces her off the mat a few times and kicks her. McCool drops some knees on her spine and hits a front suplex on the top rope. McCool goes for the Faith Breaker but Kelly holds the ropes. McCool pulls her off and goes for it again but Kelly rolls her up for the upset.
Winner by Pinfall: Kelly Kelly
Match Rating: 1/2 *
McCool immediately knocks her down and Layla joins the beating. Beth Phoenix’s music hits and she runs down to the ring. Beth clotheslines Layla and takes down McCool. Beth then grabs McCool and hits the Glam Slam! Layla watches helplessly at ringside as Beth raises Kelly’s arm.
Our final King of the Ring Qualifying Match will be Rey Mysterio taking on “Dashing” Cody Rhodes.
A video of the John Cena goodbye speech is shown. They then show The Miz winning the WWE Championship. They even showed that hilariously angry face that little girl made.
They show the Raw qualifiers for King of the Ring and then the ones from Smackdown that qualified tonight. Rey Mysterio’s music hits. He’ll face “Dashing” Cody Rhodes next.
King of the Ring Qualifying Match
Rey Mysterio vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes
Before the match begins Alberto Del Rio’s music hits and he comes down to the ring. Del Rio walks over to the announcer’s table and hugs Michael Cole.
Mysterio quickly works over Rhodes with kicks and forearms. Mysterio is whipped into the ropes but slides through Rhodes’s legs. Rhodes kicks him and goes for a sunset flip but Mysterio rolls through but misses a kick. Rhodes rolls out of the ring and has Chimel hold his jacket up to check his face. Mysterio comes from behind, kicks him in the knee, and goes to punch him in the face but Rhodes cowers. Mysterio kicks him and goes to throw him into the ring but Rhodes stops him. Rhodes uses the ring steps to hit the Beautiful Disaster.
Rhodes puts him back into the ring and hits the Alabama Slam for a near fall. Rhodes stomps Mysterio a bit before the referee backs him away. Mysterio slides out of the ring to recover.
We come back from the break to see Mysterio trapped in an arm bar. Mysterio fights up and punches Rhodes to the corner. Mysterio runs into a boot and Rhodes hits a second rope knee drop to the back of the neck for a near fall. Rhodes clubs away and uses the ropes to stretch the arm out. Rhodes slams Mysterio and covers for a near fall. Rhodes punches him in the corner and puts him on the top rope. Mysterio pushes him but Rhodes comes right back. Mysterio knocks him off the ropes and hits a seated senton. Mysterio then hits a springboard cross-body block for a near fall.
Rhodes kicks and sends him into the ropes. Rhodes lowers his head and eats a kick. Rhodes quickly goes for Cross Rhodes but Mysterio gets a jackknife pin for a near fall. Rhodes gets a backslide pin for a near fall. Rhodes sends him to the ropes but Mysterio avoids the dropkick. Mysterio kicks him in the side of the head for a near fall. Del Rio is intently watching at ringside. Mysterio dropkicks Rhodes into position but Del Rio warns Rhodes as to what’s happening. Mysterio then drops Del Rio with a seated senton off the apron!
Mysterio sidesteps Rhodes and throws him into the ring. Mysterio kicks Rhodes and he runs right into the referee, taking him down! Del Rio then trips up Mysterio and smashes him groin first into the ring post. Rhodes hits Cross Rhodes and the referee comes to right then to count the pin!
Winner by Pinfall: “Dashing” Cody Rhodes
Match Rating: **
Alberto Del Rio gets in the ring and stands over Rey Mysterio smiling. Mysterio angrily looks at him.
Kane bursts into Teddy Long’s office and says he’s had it. Kane says this is all Long’s fault and grabs him by the throat. Edge appears on the TV again and says there’s no sense in losing his temper. Edge tells him to come out and get some fresh air. That’s where he is with Paul Bearer in Jacksonville, Florida. Edge says it a few times to get the cheap pop. Edge says it’s time to give him Paul Bearer back before there’s an accident. Kane runs out of Long’s office.
Paul Bearer is seen whimpering as Kane runs through a hallway. Kane comes outside and a car crashes into the wheelchair. A dummy is sitting in it and stuffing goes everywhere. Edge pulls up and rolls down the window to show Bearer in the backseat. Edge says “whoops” and zooms off. Kane goes on a tantrum as Edge rides off.
Quick Match Results
KOTR Qualifier: Kofi Kingston def. Jack Swagger
KOTR Qualifier: Alberto Del Rio def. Big Show via Count-Out
KOTR Qualifier: Drew McIntyre def. MVP
Kelly Kelly def. Michelle McCool
KOTR Qualifier: “Dashing” Cody Rhodes def. Rey Mysterio
Bump of the Night: Mysterio’s seated senton on Del Rio at ringside!
Match of the Night: Kingston vs. Swagger ** 3/4
This was a very good edition of Smackdown if you choose to ignore the Edge, Paul Bearer, and Kane segments. If you factor those in then it’s just decent. My goodness is that storyline getting worse and worse as the weeks go on? I’ll admit I found the skits to be hilarious last week but this week it was just annoying. I was hoping it ended at Survivor Series but they decided to keep it going. I would have liked it if Bearer still had the brownie hanging out of his ear but Edge apparently cleaned him up over the week. Hopefully this unfortunate feud will end at TLC. Paul Bearer will be back with Kane and we can move on with Edge as champion.
I really enjoyed all the King of the Ring Qualifying Matches tonight. I’ve always loved the King of the Ring Tournament. Sure, there were some lame champions (Billy Gunn and Ken Shamrock) but so many great stars came out of it, like Stone Cold Steve Austin, Owen Hart, and even Edge. It’s a great way to jump start a career or give a guy a little extra recognition. I still think it should be a PPV. Do we really need Fatal Four Way for the next few years? Bring back a classic like this! That and having William Regal in this tournament to defend his crown are my only wishes for this tournament.
I was happy to see the Tye Dye Guy in the front row tonight. He’s one of the cool super-fans, unlike the Sign Guy whom I despise. I got to sit in front of the Tye Dye Guy at King of the Ring 2001 (ironically enough) and he’s a really great guy. I’m glad to see he’s still going to the events.
Final Rating: ** 1/2
E-Mail – MikeyT817@hotmail.com
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Thanks for reading!