?Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event?? The WWE video leads us into the show.
A video recaps the Batista/Undertaker feud. They show when Batista interrupted Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho, destroying Taker with a chair afterwards. Then last week Batista committed the biggest blasphemy of all ? he attacked Undertaker while he was making his entrance. Batista laid him out with a Spinebuster on a steel chair and a shot to the head with his own World Heavyweight Championship. Tonight Batista will take on Rey Mysterio in a Street Fight.
The Smackdown video plays and we?re brought into the show with some fireworks. Todd Grisham and Matt Striker welcome us to the show and promote the main event.
Batista’s music hits and the number one contender makes his way to the ring to boos. Batista says there’s a couple of things he wants to get off his chest. The first thing is he did not ask for this match with Rey Mysterio tonight. Rey is the one who got all high and mighty and demanded a street fight with him. Batista doesn?t think he deserves it and he doesn?t think Mysterio deserves to be in the same ring as him.
That leads him to the next thing he wants to say. Since he started his campaign to reclaim the World Heavyweight Championship, it seems like a lot of people are not very happy with him. The crowd boos and Batista says that’s been happening a lot lately. His response to that is he doesn?t care. Batista says it’s not about us ? it’s about him being who he was born to be. He didn?t need Evolution because they needed him. He used them for knowledge and he was on his way. He doesn?t need Rey Mysterio because he’s always needed him to watch his back. He certainly doesn?t need any of us. He didn?t hear us when we cheered him and he doesn?t hear us when we boo him. If that isn?t clear he?ll make it that way. Batista wants a spotlight and the crowd is darkened out. Batista says it’s about him being in the spotlight where he deserves to be.
Batista says he’s not here to make friends ? he’s here for money and titles. Everything about him screams World Heavyweight Champion. His clothes, dominance, money ? everything. That brings him to the Undertaker. Undertaker is not the dominant force that everyone makes him out to be. For the last two weeks he’s beaten him down. He’s looked into his eyes and has seen nothing but fear. There’s something that Undertaker, as well as all of us, is too stupid and stubborn to realize. The Undertaker has already lost. Him beating the Undertaker at TLC is only a formality. There’s something that all of us and the people in the back better get used to. World Heavyweight Champion Batista! Batista climbs the turnbuckle and taunts the crowd. That was an awesome promo.
Coming up next it?ll be Matt Hardy and R-Truth taking on CM Punk and Luke Gallows.
We get an aerial shot of Houston, Texas.
CM Punk and Luke Gallows make their way to the ring. As they do we see footage from last week when R-Truth seemingly had CM Punk beat until Luke Gallows interfered and viciously assaulted him.
Punk gets in the ring and tells us to pay attention. He likes to keep an eye on what we pathetic people do and he’s noticed Jeff Hardy’s DVD has been flying off the shelves. He’s not shocked ? what disturbs him is the parents (horrible ones) buy this trash as Christmas presents for their children. It?ll be a banner year for us drug addicts as the DVD is the number one stocking stuffer. We might as well be stuffing the stockings with hallucinogenic magic mushrooms because the children will hallucinate upon seeing this. In reality, watching the DVD makes us washed up, good for nothing, unemployed junkies. Punk then stomps on the DVD and Gallows breaks it in two.
Matt Hardy and R-Truth make their way to the ring handing out Jeff Hardy’s DVD. That idiot Sign Guy even gets one handed to him. He is the worst. CM Punk begs the people not to take the DVD. R-Truth gets in the ring and asks ?What’s up? before promptly smashing the microphone on CM Punk’s head. Luke Gallows checks on him on the outside before getting back in to start the match.
CM Punk & Luke Gallows vs. R-Truth & Matt Hardy
It’s Luke Gallows and R-Truth starting this match out. This is Luke Gallows? first match since transforming from Festus. R-Truth ducks a clothesline but that’s about it as Gallows viciously clubs him and makes a tag to CM Punk. Punk kicks R-Truth and talks trash to him. Punk whips him into the ropes and R-Truth clotheslines him down twice. R-Truth clotheslines him over the top rope as we go to commercial.
We come back from the break to see R-Truth and Hardy double whip Punk and hit a double hip toss. They then hit a double elbow drop, giving Hardy a two count. Hardy tags R-Truth back in and R-Truth kicks him in the midsection. R-Truth sends him into the ropes but lowers his head and eats a kick. Punk then suplexes him midsection first on the top rope. Luke Gallows is tagged in and he hits a gut buster. Gallows forces R-Truth to the corner and punches him down until the referee backs him up. Punk is tagged back in and he punches away. R-Truth hits some punches and goes into the ropes but Punk powerslams him for a two count.
Punk hits a nice falcon’s arrow pin for a near fall. Punk hits a grounded abdominal stretch and punches at the ribs. Gallows is tagged in and he works on R-Truth’s midsection with a bear hug. R-Truth eventually elbows out but Gallows big boots him down. Gallows tags Punk back in and holds R-Truth open for Punk to kick. Punk hits a nice back suplex and ventures to the apron. Punk springboards off the top rope into a dropkick. Both men are down and R-Truth tags in Matt Hardy.
Hardy comes in with a pair of clotheslines before sending Punk into the ropes, hitting a sleeper hold neckbreaker for a near fall. Hardy bounces Punk’s face off the turnbuckle and hits a sit-out powerbomb out of the corner. Hardy goes to the second rope and drops a leg for a one count broken up by Gallows. R-Truth takes him out with a flipping calf kick. R-Truth sets up for a plancha but Punk throws him over the top rope. Punk turns into a Twist of Fate attempt so Punk counters into a GTS attempt. Hardy gets out and sends Punk into Gallows, making him legal. Hardy hits a Twist of Fate on Punk and Gallows takes him out with a big boot. Gallows hits the Gallows Pole for the win!
Winners by Pinfall: CM Punk & Luke Gallows
Match Rating: * ?
Later tonight we?ll see a faceoff between John Morrison and Drew McIntyre. Then we?ll also see Batista take on Rey Mysterio in a Street Fight.
Did you know WWE offers all U.S. military personnel free tickets to all its live events in the U.S.?
Eric Escobar is arguing with Vickie Guerrero backstage. Teddy Long walks up and asks what he said to Vickie. Escobar says everyone thought she was his mom but his mom isn?t the size of Texas. Vickie says it’s her consultation that she’s not going to just stand there and be insulted. She says he needs to go to the ring and compete against Chris Jericho now. Escobar speaks some Spanish and Teddy Long asks what he said. Escobar says he said to take a breath mint and anything she throws at him is better than looking at his face. She screams at him to get out.
Kane is walking backstage when he runs into Mike Knox. Knox says they fought last week and he realized something ? they?re the same. Both are monsters who no one understands. Knox says he enjoyed fighting Kane and would like to do it again. Kane says they?re nothing alike and he’s the only monster standing there. Kane says he enjoyed fighting him too because he enjoyed beating him. They?ll do it again tonight. Knox says tonight Kane will leave a broken monster. Knox says he won?t be alone as he?ll ride in the ambulance with him. Kane grabs him by the throat and Knox mentions that lack of oxygen causes extreme euphoria throughout the body. Knox says he?ll see him in the ring.
Eric Escobar makes his way to the ring. As he does we see footage from last week when he said he’s sorry he ever saw Vickie in a negligee. Vickie put him in a match against the Hart Dynasty, who beat him. Vickie then slapped him silly. Escobar faces Chris Jericho next.
Eric Escobar is in the ring and Chris Jericho makes his entrance.
Eric Escobar vs. Chris Jericho
Jericho slaps Escobar and Escobar punches him right off his feet. Escobar continues punching and hits a jumping calf kick. Escobar clotheslines him down and stomps him in the corner. Escobar whips Jericho to the opposite corner and runs into a boot. Jericho charges into a sit-out spinebuster for a two count. Escobar then clotheslines Jericho over the top rope.
EXCUSE ME! Vickie Guerrero makes her way out to the stage. She says she forgot to mention this was a handicap match and wishes him luck. Big Show then comes out to join the match!
Eric Escobar vs. JeriShow
Escobar quickly rolls Jericho in the ring and covers for a two count as Big Show comes to the ring. Escobar knees Jericho in the midsection and punches him down. Jericho comes back with punches and kick to the head before quickly tagging in Big Show. Big Show goes into the ropes and shoulder blocks him down. Big Show picks him up and hits a falling leg drop before stepping on his midsection. Jericho is tagged back in and he locks on the Walls of Jericho. Escobar immediately taps out!
Winners by Submission: JeriShow
Match Rating: *
JeriShow raise their arms in the air and Jericho grabs a microphone. Jericho says this Sunday they guarantee the end of DX and the demise of the DX army. TLC is more than just titles to him and Show. It’s about eradicating DX off the face of the earth, curing us of the disease they?ve inflicted on all of us. They?re going to change Shawn Michaels? and Triple H’s lives for the worse by using Tables, Ladders, and Chairs. Most importantly he?ll use the most lethal weapon of all ? the giant destroyer Big Show. Big Show grabs the microphone and says when DX is in the hospital beds trying to learn to walk, he wants them to remember their faces and realize that they?re the end of DX!
Drew McIntyre is seen walking backstage. He faces off with John Morrison next.
Drew McIntyre makes his way to the ring holding something in his hand. We?re reminded that he?ll face John Morrison for the Intercontinental Championship this Sunday. McIntyre asks why it is that the Chairman of the Board Vince McMahon personally signed him to a contract and proclaimed him to be a future world champion yet he’s not on the cover of WWE Magazine and John Morrison is. The same John Morrison he beat last week. We then see footage of Drew McIntyre beating him by throwing him into the steel supports of the ring and hitting his Double Arm DDT.
McIntyre says it’s a joke that we believe in John Morrison. He wants to know if it’s because he’s American and he’s Scottish or if it’s because he’s the IC Champ. Not for long, McIntyre says. The crowd chants USA. The idea of Morrison beating him is about as fictitious as the Loch Ness Monster or William Wallace’s portrayal in Braveheart. This Sunday Morrison won?t be a champion at all.
Bagpipes are heard and John Morrison makes his way to the ring dressed as William Wallace (think Mel Gibson from Braveheart). Morrison comes out complete with kilt and sword. Morrison says in a fake Scottish accent that McIntyre shouldn?t make fun of William Wallace. Mel Gibson won an Oscar for that portrayal. Morrison says coming out and talking about being Intercontinental Champion is one thing but William Wallace will not stand for any disrespect. McIntyre says he’s not William Wallace ? he’s John Morrison and he looks ridiculous. McIntyre says this better be a joke. Morrison says McIntyre is a joke and he’s obviously William Wallace. It’s not because he’s from Scotland that people don?t believe in him. He only embarrasses himself because no one can understand anything he says.
McIntyre says this joking will get him hurt. McIntyre says he needs to take him seriously. Morrison says he wasn?t aware this was a serious episode of Smackdown. Morrison says McIntyre calls himself the chosen one but he’s heard all about him. McIntyre says he’s had enough of this and tells him to drop the sword. Morrison accidentally cut himself above the eye with the sword. Yikes? Morrison says he’s heard all about McIntyre getting coffee for Ricky ?The Dragon? Steamboat, getting Flax-All of Roddy Piper, and laying at the pool in Speedos with Arn Anderson and Johnny Ace. This Sunday at the PPV he may take his wife but he?ll never take his Intercontinental Title.
McIntyre says he demands this ends right now. He demands he stop making fun of his culture. McIntyre says he’s been trying hard to maintain his composure. He was going to wait until Sunday to hurt him. McIntyre dares him to lose the sword and fight him like a man. Morrison drops the sword and asks him something. Morrison wants to know what makes him think he can walk around like he owns the place because some senile old man gave him an endorsement. The only endorsement he needs is from all the people. Morrison says they just authorized him to give him the beating McIntyre has deserved. Morrison then punches away at McIntyre. McIntyre quickly escapes from the ring and runs through the crowd. That went a bit too long.
We see a good video package highlighting the Batista/Rey Mysterio feud. They face in the main event in a Street Fight.
Matt Striker thanks Switchfoot for ?Bullet Soul,? the official theme song of TLC.
Kane vs. Mike Knox
Knox quickly punches and kicks Kane. Kane reverses a whip and big boots him down. Kane hits a snapmare and goes for a dropkick but Knox gets out of the ring. Kane goes to pull him in and Knox snaps him off the top rope. Kane gets in the ring and nearly gets a Chokeslam but Knox elbows out and big boots him down. Knox clubs away at Kane and drops an elbow. Knox grounds and pounds Kane before clubbing him to the corner. Knox hits some knees to the midsection. Kane comes back with an uppercut and Knox quickly shoves him into the corner. Knox hits a corner clothesline and a short-arm clothesline. Knox goes for a big splash and Kane gets his knees up.
Kane goes into the ropes and hits a low dropkick to the face for a near fall. Kane whips him into the corner and hits a clothesline. Kane hits a sidewalk slam for a near fall. Kane goes to the top rope for a clothesline but Knox moves and hits a running cross-body for a near fall! I love that move. Knox goes for his finisher but Kane hits a Chokeslam out of nowhere for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Kane
Match Rating: * ?
Degeneration-X is back for another Christmas commercial. Triple H says they?re there to spread some holiday cheer. They plug their merchandise shamelessly (this was seen on Raw). They then open a box and Hornswoggle pops out with his unauthorized merchandise. This was seen on Raw but they cut it down a bit. They did show when Hornswoggle knocked them over with the Christmas tree.
As Smackdown continues its tenth anniversary, did you know that Smackdown has broadcast more shows than ER, Law and Order, Cheers, and the Simpsons?
Mickie James & Maria vs. Michelle McCool & Layla
Michelle McCool and Layla are wearing ?Piggie James? shirts again. We?re reminded Michelle McCool will defend her title against Mickie James at TLC.
It’s Michelle McCool starting out against Maria. McCool quickly gets an arm wrench and Maria arm drags out. Maria kicks her down but runs into a backbreaker for a one count. McCool hits a snapmare and knees her in the back a few times for a two count. McCool punches Mickie James off the apron and double teams Maria in the corner with Layla. McCool hits an uppercut and whips her into the ropes. Maria counters with a hurricanrana and tags in Mickie James.
Layla is also tagged in and Mickie hits some clotheslines. Mickie punches at her before sending her to the ropes. Layla whips her down. Layla taunts and turns into a Thesz Press. Mickie sends Layla into McCool and rolls her up for the win.
Winners by Pinfall: Mickie James & Maria
Match Rating: ? *
Mickie James goes up the ramp with Maria talking trash to Michelle McCool.
Still to come tonight is a Street Fight between Rey Mysterio and Batista.
After the Raw Rebound is shown we see Todd Grisham and Matt Striker in the ring to run down the TLC card. I?m glad they?re doing this again. They missed with Survivor Series.
Rey Mysterio makes his way to the ring, making his return to Smackdown. He?ll face Batista next.
Rey Mysterio vs. Batista
The bell rings and Mysterio quickly punches and kicks Batista. Batista throws Mysterio into the corner but Mysterio avoids his assault. Batista then clotheslines Mysterio down. Batista picks Mysterio up and smashes his face off the turnbuckle. Batista whips Mysterio hard into the corner and he goes down. Batista hits a running kick to the skull. Mysterio comes back with some kicks. Mysterio goes into the ropes and Batista shoulder blocks him down for a two count. Batista grinds his knee into Mysterio’s head for a one count. Batista then grinds his elbow on his face.
Batista kicks Mysterio in the back of the head and body slams him down. Batista goes for a second but Mysterio slides off and chop blocks him. Mysterio kicks him in the head and dropkicks him into position. Mysterio goes for the 619 but Batista moves. Mysterio baseball slides Batista, infuriating him. As Batista gets in the ring Mysterio gets out. Mysterio then runs back in the ring and baseball slides him down on the ground! Mysterio poses for the crowd as we go to commercial.
We come back from the break to see Batista stretching Mysterio against the ring post. During the commercial Mysterio went for a senton off the apron but Batista ducked and big booted him down on the ground. Batista then sent him into the steel steps. Batista grabs a television cable and whips Mysterio with it. Batista bounces his face off the announcer’s table before dropping him head first on it.
Batista sends him back into the ring and locks on an inverted camel clutch. Batista bounces off Mysterio’s back a few times. Batista sends Mysterio into the ropes but lowers his head and eats a kick. Mysterio then goes into the ropes and gets taken out by a huge clothesline. Batista exits the ring and grabs a steel chair. Batista goes for a Batista Bomb but Mysterio punches out. Mysterio hits a drop-toe-hold on the chair. Mysterio springboards off the top rope with a seated senton. Mysterio dropkicks him into the ropes and hits the 619! Mysterio hits a top rope splash for a near fall!
Mysterio grabs the steel chair and hits Batista in the legs and midsection with it. Mysterio smashes it across his back but Batista quickly comes back with a huge spear. Batista picks Mysterio up and hits a Spinebuster. Batista pumps up and taunts for the Batista Bomb. Batista picks up the chair and cracks it across Mysterio’s skull for the win!
Winner by Pinfall: Batista
Match Rating: **
Batista puts Mysterio’s throat through the chair and goes to the second rope to jump on it. All of a sudden the GONG hits and the lights go out! When they come back on Undertaker is standing where Mysterio was! Undertaker viciously punches Batista down in the corner! Undertaker grabs the steel chair but Batista immediately gets out of the ring. Undertaker raises the chair before throwing it down. Undertaker taunts Batista and stage sets fire.
Quick Match Results
CM Punk & Luke Gallows* def. R-Truth & Matt Hardy*
JeriShow def. Eric Escobar via Submission
Kane def. Mike Knox
Mickie James* & Maria def. Michelle McCool & Layla*
Batista def. Rey Mysterio in a Street Fight
Bump of the Night: Batista cracking Mysterio on the skull with the chair!
Match of the Night: Batista vs. Rey Mysterio **
Once again I?d like to apologize for missing last week. I was having some big internet problems which still aren?t really fixed. Damn Comcast! Anyway, I did do a Smackdown recap for last week so if anyone wants it they can e-mail me.
I was so sad to hear of the passing of Eddie ?Umaga? Fatu. Umaga was one of my favorite characters in the last few years. We were just beginning to see him peak to something special but injuries and other problems got in the way. He’s was a tremendous talent and I?ll miss him greatly. My sympathies to his friends and family.
Tonight’s episode of Smackdown was pretty good. It had its good moments and its bad moments. I really liked Batista’s opening promo. That was the best mic work I think Batista has ever done. Batista nailed the heel promo and I loved it. I love his character. Have I said that before? I also liked his match against Rey Mysterio tonight. Mysterio sells like a champ and made Batista look like a million bucks tonight. Undertaker’s beat down after the match was also well done and much needed.
I wasn?t huge on John Morrison and Drew McIntyre’s interaction tonight. It was like watching paint dry. I wasn?t amused by it for a second and I thought it made Morrison look weak. Morrison needs to get better on the stick because he has unlimited ability. Morrison is too good to wind up like Shelton Benjamin.
Final Rating: ** ?
E-Mail ? [email protected]
Be sure to check out Thursday’s Superstars recap.
Thanks for reading! Enjoy TLC, the final PPV of 2009!