“Then. Now. Forever.” The WWE video leads us into the show.
The Smackdown video plays, and we’re brought into the arena with some fireworks. Josh Mathews and John “Bradshaw” Layfield welcome us to the show.
An overdub of Lilian Garcia asks the crowd to welcome the former Intercontinental Champion and host of Miz TV, The Miz. Miz is sitting in the ring with a nasty scar cut above his right eye. Miz says luck struck Kofi Kingston last Wednesday, and he escaped with his Intercontinental Championship. The last 48-hours has been a living hell. He tells Kingston to enjoy the title reign because it’s going to be very short. Tonight, he’s officially invoking his rematch clause for Hell in a Cell. Miz says he’ll show Kingston exactly why he is the most must see WWE superstar. He’ll win the Intercontinental Championship, and then Kingston’s life will be a living hell.
Speaking of hell, his guests are the WWE Tag Team Champions – Team Hell No. They make separate entrances, and Miz says that makes them egomaniacs. Daniel Bryan cuts Kane off, and he says he’ll separate Miz’ teeth from his mouth. Miz says the guy with the goat-face is going to talk to him about appearance. Miz says he was Bryan’s pro on NXT. He taught him everything he knows. They never got along, just like Bryan didn’t get along with AJ or Kane. Bryan is the problem. Miz says the big red monster with the mask is the sensible one. If they lose to Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara or Team Rhodes Scholars, then Bryan will lose.
Kane says no one cares what Miz thinks. Kane has won Tag Team Championships with angry 7-foot giants, deranged psychopaths with multiple personalities, and the Dead Man himself. If Bryan is the problem, he is the solution. Bryan says he’s not the problem. The Devil’s Favorite Demon is nothing without the World’s Toughest Vegan. Kane says that’s like being the world’s tallest dwarf, which Bryan has covered. Miz goes to say something, but they say, “NO!” Bryan says he’s not a dwarf nor does he have a goat-face. He is a former World Heavyweight Champion. He won it by cashing in Money in the Bank and beating a giant, ending that reign in 45-seconds. He’s also the TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! They go back and forth with that for a while until…
Big Show’s music hits, and he makes his way to the ring. Big Show says he doesn’t have a problem with Kane. They’ll have a match on Raw. His problem is with Bryan. He thought after the beating he gave him on Raw would teach him to keep his mouth shut. Big Show says Bryan’s victory over him was the biggest fluke in history. After Hell in a Cell, when he knocks Sheamus out, nothing like that will happen again. If he hears 45-seconds again, he’ll knock him out. Big Show says he should just do it now. Bryan stands behind Kane. Kane says they might have a match scheduled for Monday, but they don’t have to wait.
Dolph Ziggler’s music hits, and he makes his way to the ring with Vickie Guerrero. Ziggler says Bryan’s victory over Big Show is so last year. All that matters is the current contract holder. At Hell in a Cell, Sheamus and Big Show will beat the hell out of each other. Then he’ll do what he does better than everyone else – steal the show and become the World Heavyweight Champion. It doesn’t matter if he cashes in on Sheamus or the Big Show. If Daniel Bryan can do it to Big Show, anyone can do it. Bryan says it’s not easy, and a big verbal war breaks out.
Booker T’s music hits, and he comes out to the stage looking like only Booker T can. Booker tells them to chill out. Miz tells him to save it. Miz says it’s predictable. He’ll make a main event with everyone in the ring. Booker says he wasn’t going to say that. He’s going to make two main event caliber matches for tonight. First it will be Team Hell No taking on Dolph Ziggler and Big Show. Booker goes to leave, but Miz asks about the second match. Booker says Miz will be facing this man: Randy Orton!
The Miz vs. Randy Orton
We join the match in progress. Orton gives Miz a shoulder block before blocking a hip toss with a clothesline. Orton stomps away at him, and we see Alberto Del Rio watching the match from a luxury box. Miz begins to fight back, and he beats Orton down in the corner. Orton turns him and punches him down. Orton has a whip to the opposite corner reversed, but he quickly comes out with a clothesline. Orton gets a one count. Orton stomps the hand before hitting a back suplex for a near fall. Miz’ cut is bleeding. Miz reverses a whip and turns him inside out with a knee to the midsection. Miz gives him a front suplex onto the top rope before knocking him into the barricade.
We come back from the break to see Orton trapped in a chin lock. Orton fights up and elbows out. Miz quickly comes back with a Reality Check for a near fall. Miz punches away at him. Now we’re brought up to the luxury box. Matt Striker asks about the message Randy Orton sent Del Rio when he RKO’d Rodriguez on the announce table. Del Rio says Orton is nothing but a little girl. He’s telling the truth because he never lies. Randy Orton is afraid of him. Orton is nothing. He is the new Apex Predator in WWE. In the ring, Orton fights back at the Miz. Miz quickly comes back with his patented corner clothesline. Miz goes to the top rope, but Orton crotches him up there. Orton punches at him before hitting his dad’s old finisher – the superplex for a near fall.
Orton clotheslines him down a few times before ducking one and hitting a powerslam. Orton looks up at Del Rio’s box before attempting a hanging DDT on Miz. Miz gets away, but he’s soon caught with a picture perfect dropkick for a near fall. Miz quickly kicks him in the knee and hits a snap DDT for a near fall. Orton ducks a running kick to the head, and he gets Miz with a hanging DDT. Orton goes to the zone, and he drops to the mat to stalk him. Miz counters an RKO into a Skull Crushing Finale attempt. Orton counters out and hits an RKO for the win!
Winner by Pinfall: Randy Orton
Match Rating: * 3/4
Randy Orton looks up at Alberto Del Rio’s luxury box, and Del Rio yells some trash talk down to him. Orton signals for him to come to the ring, but Del Rio grabs a microphone. Del Rio says they’ll do this on his terms and not Orton’s.
Sheamus is walking backstage when he runs into Teddy Long. Sheamus says he’s not one to complain, but for the past two weeks on Raw he’s been having some good matches with Wade Barrett only for Big Show to stick his nose in their business. Sheamus wants one more match against Barrett. Long says he can do that. To make sure they have a winner, they’ll have a lumberjack match. Sheamus says, “I feel ya, playa!” They bump fists and walk off. Eve Torres is seen lurking in the shadows.
Justin Gabriel and Tyson Kidd vs. Team Rhodes Scholars
Justin Gabriel will start against Cody Rhodes. Gabriel sweeps him down with a kick before tagging in Tyson Kidd. Kidd kicks him for a two count. Gabriel is tagged back in, and Rhodes reverses a whip. Gabriel kicks him down before going to the top rope. Damien Sandow drags him out of the ring, and Gabriel takes him out with a suicide dive. Rhodes takes him out from behind, and he kicks him down in the corner. Sandow is tagged in, and he splashes Gabriel on the ropes for a one count. Sandow hits a side leg sweep before hitting the Elbow of Disdain for a near fall. Rhodes is tagged back in, and he hits a snapmare before applying a neck vice. Gabriel fights up, counters a back suplex, and takes him out with a wheel kick. Sandow is tagged in, and he stops Gabriel from making a tag. Gabriel eventually does.
Kidd kicks away at Sandown and takes him down with a running dropkick for a near fall. Sandow reverses a whip, but Kidd hangs onto the ropes. Kidd kicks him in the face. Sandow makes a blind tag as Kidd goes for the Sharpshooter. Rhodes hits the Disaster Kick for the win.
Winners by Pinfall: Team Rhodes Scholars
Match Rating: 1/2 *
Booker T is backstage with Eve Torres. Long comes in and says he has a great idea for a main event. Long suggests the lumberjack match with Sheamus and Wade Barrett, but Eve says she had that idea for a week. Booker accuses Long of ripping Eve off. Booker leaves, and Eve goes with him, but she leaves her iPad behind. Long picks it up and looks at it.
We’ll take a look at CM Punk’s opponent at Hell in a Cell. We’ll also see Team Hell No take on Big Show and Dolph Ziggler.
Team Hell No vs. Big Show and Dolph Ziggler
Daniel Bryan starts against Dolph Ziggler. They circle the ring and lock up. Bryan gets a waistlock, but Ziggler reverses it and takes him down before showing off. Bryan looks confused. They lock up again, and Bryan sends him to the ropes. Ziggler hits a shoulder block, hits the ropes, and Bryan takes him down with an arm drag. Bryan stomps the chest, wrenches the arm, and has a whip reversed. Ziggler hits a dropkick, and he tags in Big Show. Bryan looks nervous before force tagging Kane in. They trade punches and kicks. Big Show sends him into the ropes and spears him down. Big Show punches him in the ribs a few times before head-butting him. Kane punches back at him, but Big Show isn’t dazed. Big Show sends him to the corner, but Kane avoids the avalanche.
Bryan is tagged in, and he dropkicks Big Show in the knee. Bryan kicks away at him, but Big Show takes him down. Big Show gorilla presses Bryan up, and he throws him out of the ring! Bryan lays in a heap at ringside as we go to commercial.
We come back from the break to see Ziggler bounce Bryan’s face off Big Show’s boot. Ziggler hits a nice dropkick for a near fall. Big Show is tagged in, but Bryan avoids the chop. Big Show quickly beats him down before sending him into the corner hard. Bryan avoids an avalanche, but Big Show still is ok enough to attempt a Chokeslam. Bryan counters into a DDT! Ziggler is tagged in, and he drops Bryan with a neckbreaker. Ziggler drops some elbows, shows off a bit, and drops a big one for a near fall. Big Show is tagged back in, and he punches Bryan in the ribs before gripping them. Big Show holds it in for a bit before hitting a sidewalk slam. Ziggler is tagged in, and he punches Bryan. All of a sudden Bryan unloads on the two of them, and he tags in Kane.
Kane goes to the top rope, and he takes Ziggler out with a flying lariat. Kane clotheslines him in the corner, whips him back to the corner and hits another clothesline. Ziggler counters a sidewalk slam, but he misses a leg drop bulldog. Kane then takes him out with a big boot for a near fall. Kane hits a sidewalk slam and signals for a Chokeslam, but Bryan blind tags in. Bryan this a running elbow, screams “NO!”, and he dropkicks Ziggler in the corner. Bryan goes to the top rope, and he jumps into a Chokeslam attempt from Big Show. Kane comes in to help, and Bryan gets the No! Lock applied to Ziggler for the submission victory!
Winners by Submission: Team Hell No
Match Rating: **
Kane and Bryan argue over who is the Tag Team Champions. All of a sudden, Team Rhodes Scholars attacks them at the top of the stage, beating them down. Kane is actually knocked off the stage.
Ted DiBiase vs. Antonio Cesaro
They show a video of Antonio Cesaro trying to get acquainted with Memphis. He was outside Sun Studio. He said he wanted to look at some Americana. He mentions names like Jerry Lee Lewis and Elvis Presley. He calls it hillbilly music and wonders how Sun Studio is a landmark. This building should be demolished. It’s no longer part of Antonio Cesaro’s America.
They circle the ring and lock up. Cesaro gets a side headlock applied, but DiBiase whips him off only to get shoulder blocked down. Cesaro goes to the ropes, but DiBiase catches him with a dropkick and a rollup for a near fall. Cesaro quickly back body drops him out of the ring. That looked nasty. Cesaro drops him on the apron before putting him in the ring. Cesaro clotheslines him down for a near fall. Cesaro deadlifts him for a gutwrench suplex and a near fall. Cesaro applies a neck vice, but DiBiase fights up. DiBiase catches him with a clothesline and a running dropkick. DiBiase hits a sit-out spinebuster for a near fall. DiBiase clotheslines him in the corner and kicks him in the face. DiBiase comes off the second rope into a European uppercut! Cesaro hits the Neutralizer for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Antonio Cesaro
Match Rating: 1/2 *
We’ll look at CM Punk vs. Ryback, next.
They play the Raw Rebound.
The Three Man Band is in the ring. They show their attack on Santino Marella and Zack Ryder on Raw. Heath Slater says they’re the greatest group in history. Drew McIntyre says they’re the Three Man Band (he screamed it). Jinder Mahal says they’re 3MB, making beautiful music and ruling the day. Slater says he’s going to beat up Brodus Clay.
Heath Slater w/ 3MB vs. Brodus Clay w/ The Funkadactyls
Slater quickly sidesteps him, but Clay quickly beats him down. Clay head-butts him in the back of the neck before hitting a suplex and an elbow drop for a two count. Clay misses a splash, and Slater hits a missile dropkick. Slater applies a front face lock, but Clay throws him off. Clay hits some clotheslines before hitting a T-bone suplex. Clay hits a running head-butt. 3MB distracts him, and Slater hits his finisher for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Heath Slater
Match Rating: 1/4 *
Matt Striker is backstage with Wade Barrett. Striker wants his comments on his lumberjack match with Sheamus. Barrett says there’s some notion in WWE that Sheamus is a tough guy. He’s not sure that’s the case, but he’s sure that Sheamus is stupid. It’s a fact. In less than two weeks, Sheamus has a huge matchup defending his title against Big Show. You shouldn’t want a match against him, let alone a lumberjack match. Taking this match means he doesn’t want to be the champion. He’s doing Big Show a huge favor by breaking Sheamus tonight. When Big Show wins the title, he hopes he remembers this favor.
Eve Torres is on commentary for the next match.
Natalya vs. Layla
Natalya kicks her down and goes for a powerslam, but Layla rolls her up. Natalya falls out of the ring, and Layla dropkicks her off the apron. Layla and Eve go face to face, but Natalya takes Layla out. Natalya throws her into the ring and kicks her in the ribs. Layla is crying… or something. Natalya applies an abdominal stretch. Layla hits an arm drag and rolls her up for a two count. Natalya hits a spinning clothesline for a two count. Layla hits a roundhouse kick for the win. That was abrupt as anything.
Winner by Pinfall: Layla
Match Rating: 1/8 *
Kaitlyn is texting backstage when Teddy Long walks up with Eve’s iPad. He shows her something, and she takes a picture of it on her iPhone. Long says she can do whatever she wants with this information.
The lumberjacks make their way to the ring. The main event is next.
Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus
They circle the ring, and Barrett kicks away at him. Sheamus fights back with some clubs and punches. Barrett soon fights back, pushes him into the ropes, and Sheamus kicks him in the face. Antonio Cesaro grabs Sheamus’ ankle, and Barrett takes him down. Barrett kicks away at him in the corner before hitting a pump-handle slam for a near fall. Barrett chokes him on the ropes and knocks him out of the ring. The lumberjacks throw Sheamus back in, and Barrett picks up a near fall. Barrett kicks away at him before viciously kneeing him a few times in the ribs. Barrett hits a short-arm clothesline. Big Show is seen watching outside. Sheamus elbows Barrett in the face, and he beats Barrett down. Barrett viciously whips him into the corner.
We come back from the break to see Barrett kneeing Sheamus in the ribs. Sheamus comes back with some Irish hammers and a clothesline in the corner. Sheamus hits the rolling fireman’s carry before tying him up in the ropes and clubbing away. Sheamus hits White Noise before looking to the crowd for support. 3MB pulls Barrett out of the ring. Sheamus gets onto the apron and dives onto the bad guy lumberjacks. Sheamus throws Barrett into the ring, shoulders him, sends him to the corner, and spears him. Barrett comes back and kicks Sheamus in the face for a near fall.
Barrett stands over Sheamus before going for the Wasteland. Sheamus gets out, but misses a Brogue Kick. Barrett clotheslines him out of the ring, but Sheamus is by the good guy lumberjacks. A brawl breaks out at ringside. Somehow Sheamus and Barrett wind up in the ring. Sheamus hits the Irish Curse Backbreaker, and Kane’s pyro explodes. Team Hell No comes to the ring, and they start attacking the lumberjacks. Cody Rhodes tries to get away, but Sheamus throws him out of the ring. Sheamus catches Barrett with a Brogue Kick for the win!
Winner by Pinfall: Sheamus
Match Rating: * 1/2
Sheamus celebrates in the ring with his title, and Dolph Ziggler hits him with the Zig-Zag from behind! Ziggler wants to cash in, but Big Show catches him with the Knockout Punch! Ziggler is out! Big Show then walks off. Big Show tells Sheamus to look at Ziggler because that will be his fate at Hell in a Cell. He will knock Sheamus out and take the title.
Quick Match Results
Randy Orton def. The Miz
Team Rhodes Scholars def. Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel
Team Hell No def. Big Show and Dolph Ziggler via Submission (non-title)
Antonio Cesaro def. Ted DiBiase (non-title)
Heath Slater def. Brodus Clay
Layla def. Natalya
Sheamus def. Wade Barrett in a Lumberjack Match (non-title)
Bump of the Night: Big Show press slamming Bryan out of the ring!
Match of the Night: Hell No vs. Ziggler and Big Show **