“Then. Now. Forever.” The WWE video leads us into the show.
They show footage of The Shield viciously assaulting John Cena on Raw until Team Hell No and Ryback came out for the save. They’re going to go head to head at TLC in two days. Also, can Big Show and Sheamus control themselves in the shadow of this “no contact” clause before TLC?
Antonio Cesaro and Sheamus are at the commentary table alongside Josh Mathews and John “Bradshaw” Layfield. They’re out there to scout their opponents at TLC this Sunday.
Big Show vs. R-Truth
Big Show smiles as he closes in on R-Truth. Big Show kick and clubs him down. Big Show puts him in the corner and chops the chest. Big Show head-butts him down, picks him up, and repeats the move. R-Truth is put in the corner, and Big Show chops him down again. Big Show steps on him, and R-Truth writhes in pain. R-Truth tries to fight, but Big Show quickly overpowers him. Big Show lays him across the top turnbuckle and uppercuts him in the ribs. Big Show chops the chest again and stands on him. Cesaro comments that this is a great match. Big Show leaves the ring, chops R-Truth’s chest, and talks trash to Sheamus. R-Truth kicks Big Show in the face and jumps off the apron into a chop. Big Show throws him into the ropes, and R-Truth hits the ground hard. Antonio Cesaro gets up, and Sheamus shoves him down before he can attack a defenseless R-Truth. Cesaro is not happy about that.
Big Show brings R-Truth back into the ring the hard way. Big Show then challenges Sheamus to push him like Cesaro. Sheamus says he’s not dumb enough for that. R-Truth kicks Big Show in the face and applies a sleeper hold. Big Show powers him off after a few moments, but he misses an elbow drop. R-Truth catches Big Show with a Scissor Kick, but Big Show kicks out. Big Show throws him down and hits the Knockout Punch for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Big Show
Match Rating: 1/4 *
Big Show raises his World Heavyweight Championship up in the air, leaves the ring, and taunts Sheamus. Big Show challenges Sheamus to punch him. Sheamus rises to his feet, and Cesaro attacks him from behind, causing Sheamus to fall into Big Show. Cesaro quickly runs off, and Big Show laughs that Sheamus actually hit him. Big Show laughs heartily as Sheamus screams that he never actually hit him.
Big Show is walking backstage when he bumps into Booker T. Big Show tries to make it seem like Sheamus has violated the “no contact” clause. Big Show says the match at TLC has to be called off. Booker T says Cesaro bumped Sheamus, and Sheamus bumped Big Show. If Big Show is scared then he should just say it. Big Show says he’s not scared of Sheamus, but he clearly violated the clause. Booker says the match at TLC is still on, and he walks away.
Damien Sandow is in the ring. He says his name, and he mentions that for one fortnight he has been scouring the WWE Universe in the hopes of finding one person worthy of being his apprentice. Sadly, it’s like finding a needle in a haystack. A disgusting, sweaty, vile, knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing, monosyllabic haystack. Therefore, it is with esteem pleasure that he reintroduces his tag team partner and best friend, the mustachioed Cody Rhodes.
Cody Rhodes makes his way to the ring as they show highlights of his return on Raw. Rhodes says he feels honored. The crowd is chanting “Cody’s mustache”. Rhodes says he’s honored to be in the ring with Sandow. The search for an apprentice is over because he now has an equal and a partner. For those who dare and try to put a wedge between Team Rhodes Scholars, like that gasbag buffoon, The Miz, he says this…
The Uso’s music hits, and they make their way to the ring for a match against them. They’ll compete, next.
Team Rhodes Scholars vs. Jimmy and Jey Uso
We join the match in progress as Jimmy Uso clotheslines Rhodes down. Jey is tagged in, and he head-butts him. Rhodes tries to fight back, but Jey punches him down. Jimmy is tagged back in. He sends him to the corner, but Rhodes drops him to the apron. Sandow distracts him, and Rhodes knocks him off the apron. Sandow gets a cheap shot before Rhodes rolls him into the ring for a one count. Sandow is tagged in, and he kicks Jimmy before dropping a knee for a one count. Sandow hits a side leg sweep before hitting the Cubito Aequet for a one count. Rhodes is tagged back in, and he hits a front suplex. Rhodes punches Jey before kicking at Jimmy. Rhodes applies a full nelson, but Jimmy fights up and elbows out. Jimmy kicks Rhodes and tags in Jey.
Jey hits a pair of clotheslines, and Sandow is tagged in. Jey clotheslines him a few times, kicks him, and uppercuts him. Jey ducks a clothesline and hits a Samoan Drop. Jey hits a running butt bump to the face and tag Jimmy in. Sandow rolls away from a splash. Jey takes Rhodes out with a clothesline over the top rope. Sandow quickly rolls Jimmy up for the win with a handful of tights.
Winners by Pinfall: Team Rhodes Scholars
Match Rating: 1/2 *
David Otunga is reading Big Show’s contract, and he says that he’s right. Sheamus hit him and it’s not legal. Otunga suggests they present their findings publically.
Big Show is in the ring with David Otunga. Big Show says everyone clearly saw Sheamus clearly put his hands on him. This is Sheamus’ fault. He tried to explain to Booker T that his contact was a violation of the clause, thus nullifying the match at TLC. Sheamus put his hands on him, and if Booker T won’t listen, then maybe he’ll listen to his legal council, Mr. Otunga. Otunga says Big Show was forced into a legally binding contract. Now, in a not so surprising move, Booker T is not following his rules. He is a clearly biased general manager, so they’re going to bring it to the WWE Board of Directors. WWE Headquarters is just 20 miles away. They’re going to demand that the Chairs Match at TLC be canceled, and Booker T removed as General Manager of Smackdown.
Booker T’s music hits, and he makes his way to the stage. Booker says Otunga’s Harvard degree wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on. Booker mentions that contracts are honored not by the letter of the law, but by the spirit of the intent. Otunga objects. Booker says if they want to waste the time of the Board of Directors, they can go ahead. His stance hasn’t changed. The match at TLC is still on. Big Show screams foul. Otunga says just because Booker has been to prison, that does not make him a legal expert. Sheamus violated the contract. Once he sees to it that Booker is fired, he’ll see to it that Sheamus is fired. Booker tells them to give one good reason for Big Show not to proceed.
Sheamus’ music hits the ring, and he power walks to the ring with a chair in his hands. Sheamus says he’ll give Big Show a reason. If he gets what he wants and the match is called off, nothing will stop him from kicking his arse right now. Big Show nervously thinks about it before sheepishly saying the contract is still valid in his opinion. Big Show then leaves the ring with his head down. Sheamus smiles, looks at the chair, and gives Otunga a Brogue Kick!
They show footage of Randy Orton being attacked by The Shield two weeks ago on Raw after he had a match against Brad Maddox. Matt Striker is standing by. He’ll interview Randy Orton, next.
We return from the break to see Randy Orton lying on a broken table as The Shield mercilessly kicks and punches at him. They then walk off, leaving Orton in a broken heap.
Kaitlyn vs. Aksana
They lock up, and Kaitlyn powers her against the ropes. Aksana kicks and hits a headlock takeover. Kaitlyn tries to pin for a one count, but Aksana keeps the headlock applied. Kaitlyn fights up, but Aksana still has it cinched in. Kaitlyn attempts a snapmare, but the headlock stays on. Aksana clubs her for a one count as she puts he headlock back on. Kaitlyn gets to her feet and tries to whip her off, but Aksana still has the headlock applied. Aksana slams her down for a two count, and she applies the headlock again. Good lord. Kaitlyn finally gets out with a sidewalk slam, but Aksana still has the headlock applied. Kaitlyn fights up and goes for a powerslam, but Aksana gets out. Aksana goes for the headlock again, but Kaitlyn clotheslines her twice and hits a flapjack. Kaitlyn throws her by the hair before hitting a gut-buster for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Kaitlyn
Match Rating: N/A
Matt Striker says the WWE medical staff has confirmed that Randy Orton separated his shoulder during the attack by The Shield. It was hanging out of its socket and needed to be popped back in. There is also concern that he has suffered a concussion. He’s being prepared for a trip to the hospital and further testing.
The Miz will interview Team Hell No on Miz TV, next.
The Miz TV set is in the ring. The Miz welcomes the crowd to the most must-see talk show in WWE history. Everyone knows that he’s not one to shy away from controversy, and the most controversial figures in WWE right now are the rogue unit known as The Shield: Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Roman Reigns. These three NXT upstarts have been creating havoc all over WWE all in the name of righting injustices. This Sunday at TLC, three men look to stop The Shield in a six-man TLC match. Two of the men are his guests on the show: The WWE Tag Team Champions, Team Hell No!
Miz starts with Daniel Bryan. He asks how it felt, but Bryan cuts him off. Bryan asks if Miz is Oprah. They’ve been in anger management for months talking about their feelings, but the time for talk is over. Its time for action. On Sunday, all that anger that they say he has will be unleashed with tables, ladders, and chairs all over The Shield until they beg for the pain to stop. When they beg, he’ll say, “NO!” Kane says The Shield made the biggest mistake of their lives by attacking them. The end result is they are finally on the same page, and that’s bad news for everyone else. Now that Bryan has discovered his inner monster, they are unstoppable. They will use tables (YES), ladders (YES), and chairs (YES), and they will love every single second of it (YES! YES! YES!).
A video of The Shield cuts into the segment. Dean Ambrose says they’ve been listening to them make empty threats. Ambrose asks if they want to know what happens when you do that, they should ask Randy Orton. Seth Rollins says Kane can’t protect Daniel Bryan. Roman Reigns says their actions have forced their hands. Ambrose says The Shield will bring the sword and the justice in forty-eight hours. Kane asks why wait until Sunday, and Reigns says they finally agree on something. They drop the camera.
Kane and Daniel Bryan look around the arena for them. All of a sudden, The Shield is seen watching from the top of one of the aisles. They begin to make their way to the ring when Ryback’s music hits. Ryback quickly gets in the ring to even the odds against The Shield. Ryback chants “Feed me more,” and The Shield turns around and leaves.
The Prime Time Players, Primo and Epico vs. The Great Khali, Hornswoggle, Justin Gabriel, and Tyson Kidd
Titus O’Neil starts against The Great Khali, and he’s quickly overpowered. Khali chops O’Neil’s chest as he screams for mercy. Darren Young charges the ring and gets punched down. Hornswoggle is tagged in, and he chops O’Neil’s chest. He hits the ropes, and O’Neil clotheslines him down. Young is tagged in, and Hornswoggle head-butts him in the groin. Tyson Kidd is tagged in, and he dropkicks him down. Kidd is distracted by Primo, and Young hits a suplex. Primo is tagged in, and he punches away at Kidd. Primo is tagged in, and they hit a suplex/elbow drop combo for a two count. Epico applies a chin lock, but Kidd fights up. Epico chokes him on the ropes, and Rosa Mendes slaps Kidd in the face. Natalya then takes her down. Primo is tagged in, and he dropkicks Kidd down. Kidd counters a whip with a roll up for the win.
Winners by Pinfall: The Great Khali, Hornswoggle, Justin Gabriel, and Tyson Kidd
Match Rating: ½ *
The bad guys storm the ring, but the good guys clear them out. Hornswoggle tries a plancha on O’Neil, but catches him. Gabriel and Kidd baseball slide him down. They then hit stereo suicide dives.
Sheamus will take on Antonio Cesaro in the main event tonight.
Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio
Del Rio kicks Kingston and hits a snapmare. Kingston quickly applies a hammerlock, but Del Rio gets to the ropes. Kingston goes for a test of strength, but Del Rio kicks him before powering him to the corner. Kingston applies a waistlock, but Del Rio gets out with a side headlock. Kingston whips him off, and Del Rio hits a shoulder block. Del Rio goes into the ropes, but he holds on. Kingston ducks a clothesline and dropkicks him down for a two count. Kingston wrenches the arm, but Del Rio takes him down with a double leg and kicks him. Del Rio chokes him on the ropes. Del Rio charges, but Kingston moves. Kingston kicks and punches him down in the corner. Kingston leaps up and punches away at him. Kingston hits an uppercut for a two count. Kingston applies a front face lock, but Del Rio powers him to the corner. Del Rio knees him in the midsection and head-butts him viciously.
Kingston leaps off the top rope with an axe handle. Kingston clotheslines him over the top rope and hits a plancha. Kingston celebrates before putting him on the apron. Del Rio shoves him into the ring post as we go to commercial.
We come back from the break to see Del Rio hit a snap suplex for a near fall. Del Rio applies a chin lock, but Kingston fights up. Kingston knees him and hits the ropes for a sunset flip and a two count. Del Rio hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker out of nowhere for a two count. Del Rio kicks him in the back and mocks his finishing taunt. Del Rio charges him, but Kingston moves. Kingston punches him to the corner. Kingston goes for a whip, but Del Rio reverses it into the corner. Del Rio quickly kicks him in the head. Del Rio hits a step-up enzuigiri, but he only gets a two count. Del Rio argues with the referee. Del Rio hits a sit-out body slam for a near fall. Del Rio forearms him in the back a few times before applying another chin lock. Kingston fights up and punches out. Kingston counters a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker with a slap.
Kingston chops him down a few times and hits a dropkick. Kingston hits the ropes, but Del Rio ducks a clothesline and hits a back suplex for a near fall. Del Rio can’t believe it, and he punches away at him. Del Rio goes for a suplex, but Kingston counters into a roll up for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Kofi Kingston
Match Rating: * 1/4
Kofi Kingston ducks Wade Barrett’s attack on the ramp, and he drops him with Trouble in Paradise! That looked nasty!
We’ll take a look at John Cena and Dolph Ziggler’s rivalry, next.
They show some highlights that came from the Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena storyline. They’ll fight for Ziggler’s Money in the Bank contract this Sunday.
Sheamus is backstage with William Regal. Regal warns Sheamus not to let Big Show get to him. He only has to wait two more days. Regal also warns him not to take Antonio Cesaro too lightly. Sheamus tells him not to worry. The only person who needs to worry is Big Show. He’s only two days away from getting his title back. Big Show can push his buttons all he wants, but he won’t push back. This Sunday, he’ll wear him out with chair shots until he becomes the new champion. Regal wishes him luck.
Sheamus vs. Antonio Cesaro
They lock up and tussle around the ring before breaking it. They lock up, and Cesaro applies a side headlock. Sheamus whips him off, but Cesaro runs him over with a shoulder block. Sheamus gets up laughing. He applies a side headlock, gets whipped off, and he runs over Cesaro with a shoulder block. Cesaro punches away at him and beats him down in the corner. Sheamus reverses a whip and hits a shoulder block. Sheamus hits a high knee to the face and clotheslines him down for a one count. Sheamus wrenches the arm, but Cesaro powers him to the corner and punches him down again. Sheamus reverses a whip, and he catches Cesaro attempting a slingshot with a rolling fireman’s carry for a near fall. Sheamus clubs away at him before having a whip reversed. Sheamus kicks him in the face, and Cesaro pulls him out of the ring. Cesaro then knees him in the face as he tries to get in the ring. Cesaro steps on his face and stomps. Cesaro applies a chin lock, but Sheamus fights up. Cesaro powers him down, but Sheamus soon fights up again. Sheamus knees and clubs away at him. Sheamus runs into a knee, and Cesaro uppercuts him down for a two count. Cesaro deadlifts him and hits a gutwrench suplex for a near fall. Cesaro kick him before choking him on the ropes.
Sheamus punches back, but Cesaro uppercuts him. Sheamus forearms him and hits an Irish hammer. Sheamus clotheslines him in the corner. Cesaro ducks a clothesline, but Sheamus punches him down. Sheamus hits a diving shoulder block off the top rope. Sheamus ties him up in the ropes and clubs away at the chest. Sheamus clotheslines him back into the ring. All of a sudden, Big Show appears on stage as he throws William Regal down. Regal stops Sheamus from attacking, and Big Show cracks Regal on the back with a chair. The referee counts Sheamus out.
Winner by Pinfall: Antonio Cesaro
Match Rating: *
Sheamus is beside himself with anger, but he doesn’t attack Big Show. Big Show walks off as Sheamus checks on William Regal.
Quick Match Results
Big Show def. R-Truth (non-title)
Team Rhodes Scholars def. Jimmy and Jey Uso
Kaitlyn def. Aksana
The Great Khali, Hornswoggle, Justin Gabriel and Tyson Kidd def. The Prime Time Players, and Primo and Epico
Kofi Kingston def. Alberto Del Rio (non-title)
Antonio Cesaro def. Sheamus via CO (non-title)
Bump of the Night: Kingston hitting Trouble in Paradise on Wade Barrett
Match of the Night: Kingston vs. Del Rio * ¼
If Dave Stephens complained that Raw was painstakingly dull, I defy him to watch this Smackdown then. This blew Raw out of the water in terms of the boredom factor. This was an awful “go home” show. There was only one interesting segment in the first hour with Big Show and David Otunga. I laughed when Otunga took the Brogue Kick. Other than that, it was painful; particularly the divas match which was one long headlock. It was an hour and a half until we got a match that was semi-decent. It wasn’t enough to save this show. If I wasn’t already going to TLC, I would feel zero excitement toward it.
Final Rating: *
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Thanks for reading! Enjoy TLC!