?Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event?? The WWE video leads us into the show.
A video package highlighting last week’s events surrounding the fallout from Breaking Point plays. It shows Teddy Long flanked by security hoping the Undertaker will forgive him for the preplanned incident. Long unfortunately caught a rough break moments later as he entered his limousine to find out his driver was suddenly the Undertaker. Undertaker told him to buckle up and abducted him. We?ll find out what happened to him tonight.
We?re brought into the arena where Justin Roberts asks us to welcome the only Straightedge World Heavyweight Champion in history, CM Punk. Jim Ross and Todd Grisham welcome us to the show as Punk makes his way down to the ring to a less than friendly reaction. Punk gets in the ring and says he gets it that we?ve destroyed billions of brain cells with the excess consumption of alcohol, prescription and over the counter medication, and a laundry list of substances we shove in our soft bodies. Punk says he brings that up because he thinks we?ve forgotten his accomplishments. He reminds us that he is the only three time Straightedge World Heavyweight Champion in WWE history, the only superstar to win back to back Money in the Bank Ladder Matches at WrestleMania, and the man who did us a favor when he got rid of Jeff Hardy forever. Punk said his crowning achievement was locking the Anaconda Vice on Undertaker making him tap out. Punk said he did it with neither drugs, alcohol, or with any of our help.
Punk says he wants someone in power to come out and treat him with respect that he’s earned as not only the face of Smackdown but the poster boy of the company. Punk wants to know who his next opponent will be now that he defeated the Undertaker. Punk smiles and says he forgot that there isn?t anybody left.
All of a sudden the sound of monks chanting hits the arena and the lights go purple. The Druids come out bringing a casket down to the ring. The Druids leave the casket at the side of the ring so Punk quickly gets out of the ring and grabs a chair. Punk thinks Undertaker is in there so he waits to clock him with the chair. Punk hits the casket a few times to try to get him out of the casket. Punk cautiously opens the casket to find a tied up and gagged Theodore Long inside. Punk smiles and gets in the ring.
Punk says he thought it was someone else. Punk messes with Teddy Long before letting him in the ring. Punk unties him and Long takes the microphone. Long says effective immediately there is no longer a ban on Undertaker’s Hell’s Gate submission hold. It is 100% legal. Also one week from Sunday Punk will defend the World Heavyweight Championship against the Undertaker inside Hell in a Cell. That’s not all as Punk will also face the Undertaker tonight. Punk is not happy as he drops to his knees and yells at Long, who rolls out of the ring and paces to the back. Long’s clothes were dirty and all ripped up.
Tonight we?ll also see Batista take on Big Show.
Did you know more males under 55 watched Smackdown last Friday than every show on ABC, FOX, NBC, and CBS?
John Morrison & Finlay vs. Mike Knox & Dolph Ziggler
It’s Finlay starting out against Dolph Ziggler. They circle the ring before locking up. Finlay quickly gets a side headlock. Ziggler whips him off and gets shoulder blocked down. Finlay body slams Ziggler and elbows Knox in the face. Finlay picks Ziggler up for an inverted atomic drop but doesn?t know that Ziggler made a blind tag to Mike Knox before taking the drop. Finlay clotheslines Ziggler down and takes a bicycle kick to the back of the head from Knox. Knox destroys Finlay with kicks and punches. Knox tags Ziggler back in and Ziggler hits a nice splash in the corner, giving him a one count. Ziggler locks on a beautiful chin lock that he holds as we go to commercial. That’s a strange place to take a commercial if I may say so.
We come back from the break to see Finlay locked in a chin lock but this time it’s applied by Mike Knox. Finlay gets out with a jawbreaker but can?t make a tag as Knox clotheslines him down. Knox tags Ziggler in and quickly cuts Finlay off before he makes a tag. Ziggler hits a big jumping elbow drop to Finlay, giving him a one count. Finlay gets a quick double leg takedown and attempts a tag but Ziggler prevents it. Ziggler tags Knox back in and Knox drops a leg for a one count. Knox locks a chin lock back on Finlay. Finlay gets to his feet so Knox pounds him, tagging Ziggler back in. Ziggler hits a snapmare and covers for a two count. Ziggler hits a nice dropkick for a near fall. Ziggler once again cuts Finlay off from making a tag and locks on a chin lock. This is getting redundant. Finlay fights up but Ziggler stops his momentum, sending Ziggler to the corner. Ziggler goes for a splash but Finlay moves.
Both men make tags to their partners. Morrison ducks a clothesline and punches Knox. Knox pushes him away so Morrison slides through his legs and keeps on punching. Morrison has a whip to the corner reversed on him. Knox charges into a boot and Morrison comes off the top rope with a diving hurricanrana which literally lands him awkwardly on his head. That looked like it hurt. You wouldn?t know it, though, as Morrison hits a nice jumping calf kick and a STANDING Shooting Star Press for a near fall. Morrison punches Knox to the corner and goes for the ten punches but Knox pushes him off. Knox hits a nasty bicycle kick and knocks Finlay off the apron. Knox gets Morrison up but Morrison escapes his grip and hits the Flying Chuck for a near fall broken up by Ziggler.
Morrison kicks Ziggler and avoids Knox’s flying cross-body which takes out Ziggler! That was nasty. Knox powers Morrison into the corner. The referee is distracted by Ziggler so Finlay comes in and hits Knox in the back of the head with the shillelagh. Morrison hits Starship Pain for the win.
Winners by Pinfall: John Morrison & Finlay
Match Rating: **
Slam Master J (gag) walks up to Cryme Tyme and Eve Torres. Shad tells J that if he wants to be down with them that he has to prove himself. J says he’s ready and takes The Best of Smackdown DVD and the Rise and Fall of WCW from Teddy Long’s office. They hear Teddy Long yell angrily. JTG gives J some spray paint and they run off leaving him there. Long comes out and asks if J just defaced his office. J says it was him so Long says he’s bringing him to the ring for a match.
Our Main Event for the evening will be Undertaker taking on CM Punk in a non-title match.
Slam Master J vs. Kane
Kane kicks him and whips him into the ropes. Jesse slides through his legs, hits some punches, and a low dropkick. Jesse has a whip to the corner reversed on him and eats a corner clothesline. Kane hits a sidewalk slam and signals for the Chokeslam. Jesse gets up and takes a Chokeslam, giving Kane the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Kane
Match Rating: N/A
Cryme Tyme is seen watching in the back not seeming to care all that much.
Vince McMahon is walking backstage. CM Punk stops him and asks if he’s going to allow Long to do this to him. McMahon says maybe he, Long, and the referee should have thought about the consequences of the conspiracy. Punk points a finger at McMahon and McMahon reiterates it was Punk’s conspiracy. McMahon wishes him luck. It was, of course, implied that McMahon is behind the conspiracy. Shocking.
Vince McMahon’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring. McMahon gets in the ring to a nice reception. McMahon thanks them for the Oklahoma welcome. McMahon rips on the crowd for being backwards hillbillies and then rips on JR for Bar-B-Q Sauce. McMahon says next week is the Decade of Smackdown celebration episode. Next week we?ll honor those who have paved the way here on Smackdown, such as Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Rock. They?ll also acknowledge contributions to those who make contributions each week on Smackdown such as Undertaker and Batista. Joining us next week will also be DX and John Cena. It sounds like it?ll be a good episode.
McMahon says this brings him to the present and the future. It’s a man he personally signed to Smackdown who reminds him of himself. McMahon says he’s smart, aggressive, and handsome. This man will be a future World Heavyweight Champion. His attitude can be summed up as ‘simply bad ass,? and he hates Oklahoma as much as he does. This man is Drew McIntyre.
Drew McIntyre makes his way down to the ring and shakes Mr. McMahon’s hand. McMahon leaves the ring and the spotlight is on McIntyre. McIntyre says he?d like to say he’s surprised but he’s not. There’s no one on the Smackdown roster that can match his unlimited potential and aggression. Since it seems Teddy Long is too busy to pay attention to what’s going on with his show the past few weeks, it took the Chairman of the Board to send a real superstar to Smackdown. Next week we?ll celebrate Smackdown’s tenth anniversary but the next week and the week after will all be about him. Later tonight we?ll have a big party in his honor. All the members of the roster will welcome him to the show and McIntyre assures us the party has just begun.
R-Truth’s music hits and he raps through the crowd down to the ringside area. R-Truth wants to be the first to welcome McIntyre to Smackdown. R-Truth then gets in the ring and attacks him. The referees quickly run down to separate them.
Coming up next we?ll see Batista clash with Big Show.
The Smack of the Night is Batista beating Jericho in last week’s Main Event with a Batista Bomb.
Big Show vs. Batista
I?m nervous about this match. I?m having flashbacks to them fighting on ECW in the Hammerstein Ballroom, where the crowd was booing and chanting ?CHANGE THE CHANNEL.?
The bell rings and they circle the ring slowly. The crowd chants for Batista so he soaks it in for a bit. They lock up and Big Show shoves him to the corner. They lock up again and Big Show this time powers him down. Jericho yells to JR that Show shoved him down like a rag doll. Batista angrily throws his elbow pad at Show’s face, ducks a punch, and begins punching. Batista goes into the ropes for a shoulder tackle but Big Show shoulder blocks him out of the air. Show stands on Batista’s throat for a few seconds. Show punches him and chops him in the corner. Show moves him to the other corner, quiets the crowd, and chops the chest. Show chokes him in another corner so Batista fights back however gets quickly clotheslined back down.
Show stomps on Batista before picking him up. Show hits a big right hand to the midsection. Batista fights back until Show knees him in the midsection. Show sends him into the ropes but Batista holds on. Show goes for a running big boot but Batista moves and Show hangs himself up on the top rope. Batista then hits the ropes and shoulder blocks Big Show to the outside.
We come back from the break to see Batista locked in a chin lock. That seems to be the theme of the night. If Batista is just returning from a broken arm then why not work the arm? During the commercial Jericho distracted Batista, allowing Big Show to spear him down. Batista fights up after a while and hits a jawbreaker. Batista goes into the ropes and gets caught in a bear hug. Big Show holds it on for a while until he hits a falling leg drop for a near fall. Show still has the bear hug on. Batista fights to his feet and elbows out, coming back with punches. Show sends Batista to the corner and charges into a boot. Batista then runs into a body slam. Big Show goes for a Vader Bomb but Batista avoids it at the last moment.
Batista comes back with punches but Show cuts him off and sends him to the corner. Show charges but Batista moves and spears him down. Batista starts shaking the ropes and sets Big Show up for the Batista Bomb but he can?t lift him. Show goes for his Chokeslam but Batista escapes it. Batista takes Show down with a single leg takedown and locks on an ankle lock. Yes, you read that right. Big Show is about to tap out until Jericho runs in and gets a Spinebuster.
Winner by Disqualification: Batista
Match Rating: * ?
Batista locks Jericho in an ankle lock and grapevines the leg. Jericho taps out and screams wildly. Big Show hobbles to the back and Jericho just lays at ringside.
We get a shot outside the arena in Tulsa, Oklahoma. We now get another replay of the video package highlighting what happened last week. It was the same package that played at the beginning of the show. Still to come tonight we?ll have Undertaker take on CM Punk.
Teddy Long is in his office still wearing his dirty, ripped clothes from a week ago. He must stink. Mr. McMahon walks in and asks for an explanation for his appearance. Long says he’s been to hell and back. McMahon asks why he would conspire against Undertaker knowing the consequences. Long is about to say something and McMahon cuts him off before he can. McMahon says he doesn?t think Undertaker is done yet. McMahon now asks to see his portrait. Long says the picture is here but it’s not finished. McMahon demands to see it and is shocked when he does. Apparently that’s what Cryme Tyme defaced. It has spray paint on it saying ?VINNIE 2 DA MAC.? McMahon says if Long messes with him he?ll make Hell seem like Sunday school.
A video package plays highlighting John Morrison and the Miz’s appearances on ?Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader? this Tuesday.
JTG vs. David Hart Smith
JTG immediately dropkicks Smith down as soon as the bell rings and dropkicks him again. JTG hits another dropkick and hits a nice face buster out of the corner for a one count. Smith head-butts JTG in the midsection and delivers a short-arm clothesline. Smith hits some stomps before whipping JTG into the ropes. Smith hits a powerslam for a two count. Smith hits a fireman’s carry slam before locking on a half bow and arrow stretch. JTG fights up but gets powered to the corner. Smith charges into a knee and JTG kicks him away.
JTG comes back with punches and hits his flipping blockbuster. JTG hits a clothesline and then hits his flipping shoulder block. JTG has a whip to the corner reversed on him. Smith charges into a back elbow and gets taken out by a second rope leg lariat. JTG covers and Natalya puts Smith’s leg on the bottom rope. Eve attacks Natalya, causing the referee to be distracted so Tyson Kidd kicks JTG in the face. Smith hits a nasty belly to back suplex for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: David Hart Smith
Match Rating: * ?
Still to come tonight we?ll have Undertaker take on CM Punk.
We see the end of the Batista vs. Big Show match, where Batista used an Ankle Lock. Josh Mathews announces Batista will join him after the break.
Jim Ross and Todd Grisham discuss next week’s Tenth Anniversary Celebration of Smackdown. Apparently the Main Event looks to be Undertaker, John Cena, and DX taking on CM Punk, Randy Orton, and the Legacy.
Josh Mathews is backstage with Batista. Mathews says Batista wants to take on the Unified Tag Team Champions at Hell in a Cell and wants to know who his partner will be. Batista says his partner is not only one of his closest friends but by far one of the best entertainers to compete in WWE as well as a former World Heavyweight Champion. Batista says Jericho and Show won?t have the titles for much longer because he and his partner have their number. His partner’s number is 619!
CM Punk’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring. We see a replay of earlier in the night of Punk letting Long out of the casket. Long announced that Hell’s Gate is unbanned and Punk will face Taker in Hell in a Cell, as well as tonight. As a matter of fact he?ll face him next.
CM Punk vs. Undertaker
This is Undertaker’s first match on Smackdown since returning at Summerslam.
The match begins and they circle the ring. Undertaker backs Punk into the corner and goes for a punch but Punk ducks it. Undertaker backs him up again and catches Punk this time. Undertaker knees him in the corner before whipping him to the opposite side. Undertaker charges into a boot. Undertaker hits a punch but Punk turns the momentum in his favor with punches and kicks. Undertaker grabs him by the throat with both hands and throws him over the top rope. We?ll take a break here.
We come back from the break to see Punk kick Undertaker before locking him in a side headlock. Undertaker whips him off and shoulder blocks him down. Taker shoves him over the top rope with one hand. Punk runs away from Undertaker and gets back in the ring. Undertaker teases getting back in the ring and then hot shots Punk on the top rope. Undertaker hangs Punk over the apron and drives an elbow and a boot into him. Undertaker gets on the apron and drops a leg across Punk’s throat.
Undertaker rolls Punk back into the ring and punches him in the corner. Undertaker wrenches the arm and goes for Old School. Undertaker begins climbing the ropes but Punk blocks it and kicks him in the temple. Punk gets on the second rope and begins elbowing Undertaker in the skull. Undertaker punches him off but Punk gets right back in his face. They exchange head-butts and Punk hits a superplex on the Dead Man. Punk knees him in the back and kicks him. Punk drops a leg and covers for a two count. Punk then grapevines the neck, looking for a submission. Undertaker grabs the throat and gets out of it. Undertaker goes for a Chokeslam but Punk kicks out of it. Punk dropkicks him in the knee and takes him down.
Punk hits some punches and Undertaker strikes back. Undertaker punches him down and bounces his head off the turnbuckle. Undertaker whips him to the corner and clotheslines him there. Undertaker hits Snake Eyes and a big boot followed by a leg drop (brother) for a near fall. Undertaker signals for the Chokeslam. Taker grabs Punk by the throat and Punk kicks him in the temple, knocking him down. Undertaker locks on Hell’s Gate out of nowhere and Punk immediately gets on the ropes! Punk quickly gets out of the ring and grabs his title. Undertaker cuts him off and throws the title in the ring. Undertaker begins taking apart the announcer’s table and goes to give Punk a Last Ride through it. Punk escapes and gets in the ring at the count of nine. Undertaker fails to meet the count.
Winner by Count-Out: CM Punk
Match Rating: * ?
CM Punk runs up the ramp with his championship. Undertaker snarls in the ring as Punk celebrates.
Quick Match Results
John Morrison* & Finlay def. Mike Knox* & Dolph Ziggler
Kane def. Slam Master J
Batista def. Big Show via DQ
David Hart Smith def. JTG
CM Punk def. Undertaker via Count-Out (non-title)
Bump of the Night: Kane’s domination of Slam Master J
Match of the Night: Morrison & Finlay vs. Knox & Ziggler **
It’s been a long while since I?ve said this but it’s time. This was a bad Smackdown. Not every Smackdown is going to be great so we?re long overdue for this. Nothing really clicked for me tonight, especially the matches, but hopefully we?ll get back on the right track with the Tenth Anniversary Celebration of Smackdown.
It’s a shame how they took a promising program like Undertaker vs. CM Punk and turned it into a debacle. Smackdown’s success this year didn?t stem from storylines and backstage segments. The success stemmed from hard fought matches where it was all determined in the ring and the feud continued from there. We definitely didn?t need the Montreal Screw Job Part III. It could have been a simple disqualification win. Put Cena vs. Orton on last at Breaking Point. It would have been so much better if Punk got himself disqualified and Undertaker continued chasing him for the title, even employing his magic tricks to get another shot. Instead we?re stuck with this current situation. The sad thing is there isn?t even enough time for this ?Screw Job? to play out ? we have another PPV in a little over a week. How can you make anyone care about it when they?re just fighting again in a few days? Is it really a ?Screw Job? if he’s just getting ANOTHER shot in twelve days? To top it off Punk vs. Taker will take place in Hell in a Cell. That’s where feuds end. That would just ruin the point of Hell in a Cell if they continued the feud after that (not that the PPV itself isn?t doing that). Heck, they?ll probably ‘screw? Undertaker in that, too. This whole situation stinks. It’s rushed, it hasn?t had time to play out, it?ll probably end before it gets going, and in the end it?ll all serve just to once again stroke McMahon’s ego and highlight him as the mastermind of it all. What a shame.
I?m happy Rey Mysterio isn?t being buried on TV. Mysterio is actually being built up and he?ll have a Tag Title shot with Batista at Hell in a Cell. I guess WWE is quietly admitting error in the way they dealt with Mysterio leading up to the suspension.
If they want to push Mike Knox as an ?evil professor? why are they having him getting blasted by Finlay’s shillelagh week in and week out for losses? Knox has been so impressive over the last month and he has nothing but losses to show for it along with no real direction. They are missing out on an opportunity here. Knox has something to offer.
Final Rating: * ?
Before I end this column I?d like to mention that I am a proud owner of the Best of Smackdown DVD, thanks to my girlfriend who got it for me as I sat home for three days sick. She’s awesome. I went through the whole nine hour thing (not in one sitting ? I?m not that sad) and it was incredibly entertaining. I highly recommend it to everyone and it’s not just my personal bias for the show. It’s an insanely entertaining video set, complete with hilarity and seriousness, along with some great wrestling. I never realized how hilarious Todd Grisham is. Grisham gives a lot of ?insight? to the segments, as well as Santino Marella and Mark Henry. You?ll love it. It’s a must buy!
Also I?d like to do a quick plug for my best friend Lisa. Lisa just started up a new blog where she offers her insights on WWE. At the moment she’s only commenting on PPVs but I believe she?ll be moving on to blogging about the big news of the week as well as the TV shows. She’s a HUGE wrestling fan (almost as big as me) and I?d like you to check it out. Enjoy it ? click here to check it out.
E-Mail ? [email protected]
Be sure to check out yesterday’s Superstars recap.
Thanks for reading!