On Monday, October 10, 2005 at 4:24 PM EST Welcome to this week’s edition of the Armpit wrestling quiz. Since the war WWE is fighting seems to be more with a television network than a wrestling promotion, the focus has really been on WWE vs. Spike TV. What better time than now to do a quiz on “Television Milestones?”
It’s kind of funny that in all of 2004, with all those hot moves going on in TNA and ROH, the most memorable spot to me was Shawn Michael’s Asai moonsault from the top rope out of the ring onto Chris Benoit during their Raw main event classic. Well, that and the Elix Skipper rope-walk from the top of the cage. In 2005, I suspect a similar outcome. What’s my point? Spots are more memorable when there is a rhyme, reason, and buildup behind them. Please, someone tell this to the bookers and wrestlers in TNA. All those hot moves on their Spike TV debut, and not one of them meant a damn thing and not one of them will make you want to tune in next week. You’ve got all those expert psychologists like Terry Taylor and Shane Douglas backstage telling the cruiserweights to slow it down and use psychology. So why aren’t they doing it?
Jim Cornette has said this many times, but he’s 100% correct. The biggest draws are guys like Hogan, Austin, Rock, and Andre. Hardly any of them ever came off the top rope in their lives. Even Ric Flair; I saw him do a dropkick once in my life, and it was an old Mid-Atlantic bootleg from the 70s. So why do these X division guys focus their efforts on high spots instead of what made those guys big draws? #1, it’s because they’re small, and small guys need to do outrageous spots to get noticed in wrestling. #2, they just don’t get it. You can point to the success of Tiger Mask in Japan and Rey Msyterio here, but the one thing that no one seems to understand is that the cruiserweights in the 1990s and 1980s who got over did so because of their high spots AND their psychology. Non-stop high spots, and a wrestling program with non-stop “amped up on volume 11” pacing will not be successful. It’s like a story with no beginning, no end, and a peak all the way through. It’s like Christmas every day. It’s like a long sports game with nothing buy highlight reel clips. In all cases, you’d be missing the point. And the point is, if you want to draw money in wrestling, model what has been done successfully before, and put your own stamp on it. And what has been successful is guys like Hogan, Austin, Rock, and Andre. Don’t study high spots; study what made those guys draw. If you’re small, then study what made guys like Mysterio and, well, that’s it, successful. If everybody did that, wrestling would have a much brighter future than it does now.
The biggest drawing match in TNA history is what? Raven vs. Jarrett. That is notable for a million different reasons, none of which seem to be understood by TNA’s X division. Chris Daniels and AJ Styles "get it." Others, whom I won't name, do not. They get an "A" for effort and athleticism, but effort and athleticism are not what draw money. A core group of internet and hardcore fans might get off on it, but there aren't enough fans like that to support a worldwide promotion on television. Sooner or later, they have to go mainstream. If they want the X division to take them to the promised land, then they need to tweak it so that the matches are no longer non-stop spotfests. And if you want to learn how to do that, watch a few New Japan Super J Cup tournaments or Daniels/Styles Iron Man matches.
Aside from that, TNA did a lot of things right on their debut episode. Let’s hope they can improve from here. Until then, I’ll be looking forward to the best TV show on the air right now: OVW.
Last week's winner:
Mark Fearn, with nothing to plug.
Last week's answers: (Click here for last week's questions.)
-After WWE lost the court case with WCW, Flair wore the old WWE tag team belt to the ring, which WWE blurred out and pretended it was the old NWA/WCW belt.
-WWF today stands for World Wildlife Fund.
-Brock Lesnar appeared for New Japan this year in a non-wrestling role. I was incorrect in saying it was last year. Speaking of Lesnar, did that court case with WWE end up a major surprise or what?
-Lewmar was the company that manufactured the apparatus Owen Hart used to descend from the ceiling as the Blue Blazer.
-Missy was fired from WCW for going over Eric Bischoff’s head when she had a complaint about sexual harassment. You know, when her boob popped out of her top during the Nasty Boys match and the photo was blown up for the whole office to see? If that had happened here in the Bay Area, Missy would be about $20 million richer right now.
-The woman wrestler who sued WWE for sexual harassment was Nicole Bass. The same Nicole Bass who agreed to do a Pick My Brain interview with us, and then backed out once she saw the questions. Remind me to do a "Mock My Brain" with her sometime soon.
-Sonny Onoo sued Turner for racial discrimination. After hearing how much money he won, I'm thinking of suing them too, and I never even worked there.
-True, the government did want to seize WWE’s Titan Towers. As incompetent as the government can be sometimes, I think they'd do a better job of writing WWE TV than WWE currently does now.
-Jesse won his case against WWE, proving everybody wrong and winning $1 million. I wonder if Vince McMahon "choked on that million."
-To appease Blue Meanie, WWE brought him in and put him over JBL in very unconvincing fashion. Meanie fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. Then he was discarded. Then he complained about getting no phone calls returned, despite the fact that he never returned our own emails to him. If you look up "kicked to the curb" in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of Meanie and a description of his entire 2005 WWE run.
Here are this week's questions. Please email your answers to Quiz@ArmpitWrestling.com. The first person to get all the correct answers to me will be declared the winner and have his/her name listed next week along with anything he/she wants to plug. Remember, once you win, you cannot win again for 3 more weeks.
Question #1
History was made when Raw debuted on the USA network. Name the month and year of this debut.
Question #2
History was made again when Nitro debuted on TNT. Name the month and year of this debut.
Question #3
The Spring of 2001 was a horrible time in life. WCW folded, ECW folded, Jackie Martling quit Stern, Austin turned heel, WCW "invaded" WWE in a huge disaster, and the red hot economy went crash, bang, boom. The final Nitro was mesmerizing, as Vince McMahon was on WCW and shocked the nation. It's a sight nobody reading this will ever forget. On that final Nitro, what was the main event?
Question #4
One of the first television specials on cable was the Royal Rumble. It was a fun show, certainly better than the NWA Bunkhouse Stampede Dusty had booked that same night on PPV. At the Rumble, how did Dino Bravo "break" the world bench press record?
Question #5
The NWA struck back in March of 1988, with a Clash of the Champions debut special that will go down as one of the best shows of the Crockett era. As Meltzer wrote that week, "Jim Crockett kicked Vince McMahon's ass," referring to the Clash show going head to head with WrestleMania 4. In the main event, Flair drew newcomer Sting in some of the best 45 minutes of our lives. How did this not make the Flair DVD? Just a sensational match. Plus, how can you NOT like a show that had Jim Cornette do a segment with Eddie Haskell? A few celebrity judges were at ringside for the Flair-Sting match. Name one of them.
Question #6
The first time wrestling returned to prime time network television in decades was the Hogan vs. Andre match on February 5, 1988. This match was the talk of the 6th grade all week. It even made the newspaper the next day when Hogan lost the belt, which was unheard of back then. But the match I really wanted to see was Savage vs. Honkytonk Man. The finish of that match is quite notable. What happened behind the scenes with Honkytonk before his match took place? (And in hindsight, it was good for Savage's career that it turned out the way it did).
Question #7
7. On the Owen Hart tribute show that aired on Raw the day following Owen's death, which of these wrestlers read a poem about Owen?
HHH
Chyna
Jeff Jarrett
Mark Henry
Debra McMichael
Edge
Darren Drozdov
Mick Foley
Lanny Poffo
Question #8
Over in WCW, months after Owen died, they aired an "Owen Hart tribute match." It was an excellent, lengthy match. What two wrestlers squared off in this very emotional match?
Question #9
9. The debut of "Saturday Night's Main Event" was also a milestone in wrestling history. My friends would get angry when the announcer said, "Saturday Night Live will not be seen tonight." Seconds later, our groans would turns to cheers when the announcer continued, "Instead, stay tuned for WWF Saturday Night's Main Event!" Name one match from the first ever Saturday Night's Main Event. Come on, Google awaits you!
Question #10
10. This is a fake milestone, but still notable. Just recently, WWE announced Raw was now the longest running show in TV history, or something like that. Whatever. Anyway, right after Vince made that ridiculous announcement, he then switched gears and announced the long-awaited WWE return of whom? It should still be fresh in your memories.
Security Code
11. Please write down this week’s security code in order to verify that you saw this quiz on WrestleView.com. This week’s code is “SAMOA JOE.” Any emails we receive that do not contain this code will not be eligible to win.
12. In case you win, please tell us how you'd like to list your name and plug. Due to time constraints, you will not be notified if you win, and instead will have to wait until next week when the winning name is posted. If you're playing just for fun and don't care about winning, you don't have to answer this question.
Please email your answers to Quiz@ArmpitWrestling.com. Results will be posted next week. Thanks to everyone for playing.
The Wrestling Professor
www.ArmpitWrestling.com
This week's features: The TNA tapings for Spike TV were overflowing with illegal drugs. Plus, the Armpit gets banned, the Ultimate Warrior inspires other WWE DVD releases, a parody of “Stan” by Eminem, and details on the 2005 Raw Devo Search. Yes, we said Devo. Please stop by the site today.