On Monday, January 16, 2006 at 12:41 PM EST Welcome to this week's edition of the Armpit wrestling quiz. My DVD recorder messed up so I missed Raw, but I heard all about the live sex debacle. Desperate companies do desperate things, and WWE is a desperate company run by a madman who has lost complete touch with his audience and has no clue what they want.
Since people think sex sells, desperate people often resort to it when they don't have any other good ideas. And since wrestling is filled with people with no good ideas, sex has a long history of being used to try to draw money. Quite frankly, I'm out of quiz ideas, so this week's quiz is based on "Sex in Wrestling."
A side note: Thanks to those who requested a free copy of our newsletter. Unfortunately, we decided to scrap the idea of doing a newsletter. There just weren’t enough people to make it profitable. I’ve come to grips with the fact that unless your name is Meltzer, Keller, or Alvarez, you can’t make a living writing about wrestling. The Armpit website will continue as it always has been: free of charge.
Last week's winner:
Rob from Woodbridge, NJ, with nothing to plug.
Last week's answers: (Click here) for last week's questions.
-Mick Foley was introduced to the Howard Stern show via the Wack Packer known as Fred the Elephant Boy. Fred is a sweet, nice, longtime wrestling fan who was born with a bad speech impediment. He got on the show because he was a 28-year-old virgin, and Howard helped Fred out by putting him on Dial-a-Date. It worked, and Fred's virginity ended after 28 years. Fred still does appearances for wrestling, including ROH, and I've even seen him at wrestling conventions dating back 11 years. I'll stop the Fred bio right there, because if I tell you more, you'll probably become violently ill.
-That was Rick Rude who did the Stern show in 1993. I have it on tape and it's hilarious.
-The heart condition Kurt Angle has done awareness work for is called Angina. It runs in his family, and that's not good.
-Austin did the Stern show after just having gotten a divorce from Lady Blossom, his first wife.
-Austin's famous ex-girlfriend whom he had legal troubles with is named Tess.
-Of the names listed, the ones who posed for Playboy were Christy Hemme, Sable, and Torrie Wilson. I mistakenly left out Chyna, which many of you pointed out.
-Missy Hyatt was in Howard Stern's movie, for a second. It was the scene where the woman was recounting her lesbian story, and a tent opened up with dozens of half-naked women. Missy was one of the women, in the background. Even if you pause the tape, you still can't see her. But it's her. She did the Stern show about 4 years later, and Howard had no idea she was in the movie.
-According to Stephanie, HHH does NOT have much ball hair. The exact quote was, "He's not particularly ball hairy."
-The substituted name for Sirius, "eh eh eh eh," originated from Goldust.
-Most of you said your favorite Stern moment was Chyna's appearance(s).
Here are this week's questions. Please email your answers to Quiz@ArmpitWrestling.com. The first person to get all the correct answers to me will be declared the winner and have his/her name listed next week along with anything he/she wants to plug. Remember, once you win, you cannot win again for 3 more weeks. That's our Dr. Keith Rule.
Question #1
As everyone knows, there was a nip slip on Raw last week involving Lita. It reminded me of when a certain WWE diva bared all during a PPV from 1999 or so. She was topless for about 2 seconds, during the height of the Vince Russo era of WWE smut TV. Which former diva exposed her breasts on this PPV?
Question #2
There was another nip slip last year, during the WWE diva search. It was some stupid obstacle course, and this diva contestant (and she should have won, in my opinion) had to cut her obstacle short because her top was exposed. She was quickly covered up with a robe or towel, and WWE pretended it was an accident. Sure it was. Who was this diva contestant?
Question #3
In the very early days of ECW, there was quite an uproar when a valet named Angel got completely topless and paraded around the ring for several seconds as the crowd went wild. After being exposed to such nudity, I'm sure those children in attendance went on to become mass murderers and convicted rapists, right?? Well, that's what some politicians would like you to believe. True or false: Paul Heyman was booking ECW when this incident happened.
Question #4
Which WWE wrestler was supposedly "castrated" in 1999? This wrestler is still under contract today, although it's scheduled to expire this year.
Question #5
This week you learned from this quiz that HHH has no ball hair. Thanks to Bubba the Love Sponge spilling the beans on the new Howard Stern show on Sirius, we now know that Hulk Hogan shaves all the hair around his private parts, too. In about 5 years, I'm sure his daughter Brooke will be answering that question on Howard's show too. Speaking of Brooke Hogan, name one WWE wrestler who said on Raw last year that Brooke is hot?
Question #6
In 1995, it was considered risqué to do a lesbian storyline. ECW tried it, to mixed results. Which 2 women did this lesbian kiss?
Question #7
Rick Rude has a knack for getting naked on camera. At least with Ric Flair, he does it off camera. At the 1987 Slammy awards, Rick Rude did a strip tease and had to be covered by a towel. Then, in a famous 1980s WWF angle, he was stripped "naked" by an angry babyface and the WWF put a black dot to censor his private parts. Which wrestler stripped Rude "naked" in this angle?
Question #8
WCW tried to be hip in 1992 by holding a bikini contest at that year's Beach Blast. Which two women were in this contest?
Question #9
Speaking of stripping, the leggy Stacy Keibler used to do something of a strip routine in WCW. Today, she is one of the most exposed women in America on the "Dancing with the Stars" TV show. But in WCW, when she wore big glasses with her hair tied up, she was called what? (Note: I'm not talking about her Nitro Girl name, but the name she used when she was a valet who used to strip on the announcer's table)
Question #10
For this last question, please tell us your all-time favorite valet or female performer.
Security Code
11. Please write down this week’s security code in order to verify that you saw this quiz on WrestleView.com. This week’s code is "JOHNNY NITRO." Any emails we receive that do not contain this code will not be eligible to win.
12. In case you win, please tell us how you'd like to list your name and plug. Due to time constraints, you will not be notified if you win, and instead will have to wait until next week when the winning name is posted. If you're playing just for fun and don't care about winning, you don't have to answer this question.
Please email your answers to Quiz@ArmpitWrestling.com. Results will be posted next week. Thanks to everyone for playing.
The Wrestling Professor
www.ArmpitWrestling.com
This week's features: TOM ZENK RETURNS! The Z-Man does a guest column for us and answers your sex questions. We also announce the demise of our newsletter in an Armpit Newsflash exclusive. We take a look at the past week in wrestling, and ponder some “What the F*ck” decisions in wrestling’s history. Finally, Jeff Jarrett is wanted for murder for killing TNA’s ratings. Please stop by the site today.