On Monday, March 10, 2008 at 12:58 PM EST To view last week's column, click here.
For more, visit www.armpitwrestling.com.
Welcome to the Armpit wrestling quiz for the week of March 10, 2008. This week I asked myself a question. Who is more gullible, the person who thinks Floyd Mayweather is really getting $20 million, or the person who thinks Ric Flair is really retiring at WrestleMania? From this writer's standpoint, both notions are so entirely ridiculous that they're not even worth debating. And this is from someone who really did think Flair was going to retire after Halloween Havoc '94.
This time of year is always great for pro wrestling, because business and interest always peak in the months preceding WrestleMania. After that, it's all downhill. WrestleMania is the orgasm, and well, we all know what happens after that. We just want to go to sleep and don't want to be bothered. Wrestling fans remain in a lull until pre-SummerSlam hype, and if the main event is good, we start caring again.
In honor of that hype, the next several quizzes will be about WrestleMania. It's a tired concept, but the masses love it. Here now is "WrestleMania - Part 1."
Answers from last week:
-Blacktop Bully, real name Barry Darsow, used these gimmicks in the WWF: Demolition Smash and Repo Man. He used several other ring names throughout the course of his career.
-At SuperBrawl '96, Brian Pillman said to Kevin Sullivan, "I respect you, booker man." That must've confused 99% of the people in the crowd who had no idea what a booker was. In fact, today's fans don't know what bookers are either. Instead, they're called "writers." I prefer to call writers "Unnecessary overhead." Somewhere Joe Silva, who works largely alone and books the country's most successful MMA/wrestling promotion without any writers, is laughing.
-Jeff Jarrett became a Horseman at SuperBrawl '97 by defeating Steve "Mongo" McMichael. If you think Flair is full of it today when he kisses HHH's ass and says HHH is the greatest, you should've heard him in '96 and '97 trying to convince viewers that McMichael was a great wrestler. Not that it was Mongo’s fault, because he was inexperienced and living up to Horsemen standards is quite the difficult task.
-Juventud Guerrera unmasked at SuperBrawl '98. That's also about the point in time he lost his mind.
-At SuperBrawl '99, Flair was stunned by his son David. Yes, WCW often booked their finishes by copying episodes of "Cops."
-At SuperBrawl '00, Flair wrestled Terry Funk. Hey, Flair vs. Funk is perhaps my all-time favorite feud and their match at Clash #9 is one of my all-time favorites. But in the year 2000, those two should've long since retired. But neither of them will ever retire.
-At SuperBrawl '01, Mysterio and Chavo feuded over the Jobber Championship, I mean, the Cruiserweight Championship. I remember Dave Meltzer begging and pleading WWF or WCW to hire Rey Mysterio Jr because he could've been a main eventer and a huge draw among kids. That was in 1993. It only took WWE 11 years to realize that, while WCW never realized it. ECW realized it instantly, though I doubt Paul E. was interested in drawing a kids audience.
Here are this week's questions. Remember, the new rules are that you no longer need to submit your questions, and no winners will be declared. We're just doing this for fun and to honor the forgotten world of wrestling history.
1. If successful leaders are huge risk-takers, then WrestleMania I was Vince McMahon's biggest risk of his life. Luckily it paid off. What was the very first match at the very first WrestleMania?
2. By the time WrestleMania II came along in 1986, the mainstream media had decided that pro wrestling was last year's fad. That was a shock to the fans who sold out Hogan vs. Orndorff at arenas that year, not to mention the record business Flair, the RnR Express, and the Road Warriors (and yes, Dusty too) were doing for Crockett. But WM2 was not a huge success by any means. Name the action-packed tag team match that saved this show from totally sucking.
3. Every fan over 25 can vividly remember watching WrestleMania III live. WM1 was the first, but WM3 was the best, and it was that show, in front of that crowd, that turned casual pop culture fans into wrestling fans for life. What wrestler "retired" on this show?
4. Ok, nothing could've saved WM4; that show sucked from a match quality standpoint. But who cared, I was a Savage mark and my man had finally won the world title. Name the men Savage defeated that night en route to winning the tournament.
5. WM5 wasn't much better than WM4, but the Hogan-Savage build was basic booking at its absolute best. Referred to by Jesse Ventura as the "sleeper" match of the night, whom did Curt Hennig wrestle on this show?
6. The success of WM6 in Canada will likely be the 1990 version of the kind of success UFC will have next month in Canada, especially if GSP brings it all home. Me, well, I'd love to see Serra pull off another upset. Ok, back to wrestling. That match remains Hogan's greatest performance to this day, as his psychology was off the charts on so many levels (getting Warrior over, and then stealing the spotlight and sympathy from him without anyone realizing it). Name the guest celebrity on this show (he has since passed away) who also did the narration for the A&E documentary, “The Unreal Story of Professional Wrestling.”
Answers will be posted next week.
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