Reported by Adam Martin of WrestleView.com
On Monday, July 28, 2008 at 4:09 PM EST

The Wrestling Professor sent this in:

Welcome to the Armpit wrestling quiz for the week of July 28, 2008. This quiz is dedicated to my grandmother, who passed away peacefully two weeks ago after 10-plus years of suffering from Alzheimer’s. That woman was so damn strong that she lasted a whopping 9 days without food and water, having lost the inability to swallow anything in her final days. For someone who was 96, that is amazing, and the strength she displayed sums up the character she displayed her entire life. In fact, I choose to believe that she didn’t die from her disease. Instead, she simply got bored with defeating it for so long that she decided to go to sleep and be with her husband again 31 years after losing him. She was faithful to him ever since he died, shortly after I was born. She chose to be cremated and placed inside her husband’s casket, which is a very sweet request, and if nothing /*, they have finally and forever been reunited. Thanks to those of you who gave their sympathies, and for those still lucky enough to have grandparents who are still alive, you might want to give them a call or visit more often. Trust me, they will appreciate it.

Congratulations to CM Punk on his world title win. However, I feel they are presenting Punk incorrectly, and because he’s acting as the goody two shoes babyface, it’s only a matter of time before fans turn on him as they did on Cena. And unlike Cena, Punk doesn’t have the support from kids and women.

I have an idea that would turn Punk into a real money player. Punk needs to become the anti-pop culture hero for wrestling fans. He needs to really play it up, expressing his disdain for anything and everything pop culture. Have him come out and rip up “People” magazine, go on rants about brainless bimbos in the news like Paris and Britney, and get across his hatred for the phony, fake, empty, trendy, vapid world that is Hollywood. With this gimmick, the possibilities are endless. Encourage WWE Creative to get “creative” and come up with skits, promos, and angles that would allow Punk to get over at the expense of squeaky clean, kiddy safe pop culture icons that most wrestling fans hate deep down, like American Idol, Ryan Seacrest, P. Diddy, Miley Cyrus, etc.

In addition, Punk needs to never smile again, unless it’s that sleazy, “I’m going to lay every woman in this arena tonight” smile that Flair would flash. He needs to stop being buddy buddy with Todd Grisham and other top babyfaces. Stop playing to the fans, and take on the Steve Austin ‘tweener attitude.

This gimmick would get Punk over tremendously. And the perfect foil for this gimmick would be the trendy, hip, smiley, pop culture poster child: John Cena. There are male fans in the arena who boo Cena, but those same fans don’t have anyone to solidly get behind and represent them. That’s why that demo is leaving the product in droves to go watch UFC. With Punk, they’d have a guy who could be their voice and go against guys they hate, like Cena. It’s like when ECW fans needed a voice in 1994, and Shane Douglas became their hero, trash talking WWF and WCW. Punk needs to be that hero.

This also helps the Wellness Policy. Punk is clean, and because of that, his physique, nothing special to begin with, is only going to get flabbier over time. By having him represent realism and reject everything fake, his look would become an asset, not a liability. Fans would overlook his lack of muscles, because muscles would be associated with mainstream Hollywood, and Punk wouldn’t be about that. This would pave the way for guys with unimpressive physiques, but loads of talent, to come in like Bryan Danielson, and inevitably, Samoa Joe. Punk vs. Joe could very well be the top WWE feud of 2011, some seven years after they tore it up in ROH.

Go all the way with this gimmick, and I guarantee you Punk would be wrestling’s top star and win back those older male fans. He’d also appeal greatly to those “loner” teenagers, and he’d even attract the kids audience that will eventually grow up and tire of Cena. I’m sure all of you reading this can relate to babyfaces you loved as a kid but ended up hating as you grew up. Yes, you know you loved the Ultimate Warrior, grew up, hated Warrior, and then Austin and Rock were your favorites. And then when Warrior came back and wrestled in Spain, you watched it on Youtube out of curiosity.

Also, it’s imperative that the announcers not get all giddy about Punk. The “Punk wins! Punk wins! Punk wins” has to go. What made the nWo cool was that Schiavone, Heenan, and Tenay were disgusted by them. Same with Austin. Both gimmicks were anti pop culture, but Punk should do it more blatantly. Trust me, it would work.

This gimmick could result in millions of dollars in merchandise sales. Punk is too small to be the next Austin, but he could become a Cena-level star, which is one more Cena-level star than they have now. Plus, Punk has a unique appeal to women, and that aspect cannot be overlooked either. He’s not a pretty boy, but he has that rock n roll attraction that Nikki Sixx has and that some women love. I’ve stated for years that wrestling needs to appeal more to women, and when they finally did (with Cena), look at how it saved their house show business.

It’s up to WWE if they steal this idea, but if they want to make money, they need to decide now. There is always a small, tiny window in which a star can get over huge, and you need to time it just right. There was a window years back in which Eddy Guerrero could have been the guy, and they blew it. They have it now with Punk, so immediate action is needed. Punk can either be their next big guy, or he can be the smiley babyface who gets boo’ed in 4 more weeks, is deemed a failure, and then rides into oblivion. The choice is theirs.

In honor of the wonderful season of summer, this quiz is based on, you guessed it, “SummerSlam – Part 1.”

Answers from last time:

-The Benoit murders happened during the weekend of the Vengeance PPV.

-The former tag team partner and friend of Chris Benoit referred to, who died shortly before Benoit, was Beef Wellington.

-Police found pages of the Benoit diary in a trash can outside his house. Interesting how Benoit went to great lengths to dispose of that diary, yet he left his steroids available for everyone to see.

-“From Horsemen to Raw,” was said by Nancy Grace. That line is an all-time classic.

-Records show that Chris Benoit had domestic abuse problems documented in 2003. Very few people knew about this when it came out.

-Police wanted Benoit’s neighbor to go in the house first because they were afraid of the dogs, and the dogs knew the neighbor. Even cops fear dogs. As an animal lover, I’d love to know whatever happened to those dogs and where they are today.

-Many people believed Daniel Benoit suffered from Fragile X syndrome, but they only believed it when it was said after the murders were committed. And maybe he did have it, but everyone who knew the Benoits denied it vehemently. It’s something we’ll never know.

-The Wellness Policy loophole is that you’re allowed to take steroids if you have a valid prescription from a doctor. In a perfect world, that’s valid. In this world, it’s extremely easy for celebrity wrestlers to find mark doctors to give them prescriptions for anything they want. Well, it’s probably not so easy anymore, but it’s not terribly difficult. When you’re famous, people will do anything to be associated with you. No other serious steroid policy in sports, including the Olympics, has this loophole.

-That was Ken Kennedy who went on Greta and made a fool of himself.

-Benoit’s doctor was Dr. Phil Astin.

Here are this week's questions. Remember, the new rules are that you no longer need to submit your questions, and no winners will be declared. We're just doing this for fun and to honor the forgotten world of wrestling history.

1. Everyone reading this who is 30 or older vividly remembers the first SummerSlam. Back then, PPVs weren’t every week like they are now, so young kids ate up every bone WWF/NWA threw them when it came to new PPV shows. Right in the middle of a successful WWF title run by new champion Randy Savage, the WWF presented oversimplified storylines that my 6th grade friends and I could understand with ease. What was the storyline between guest referee Jesse Ventura and Ted DiBiase in the hype leading to the main event?

2. Interesting to see where those main event stars are today. Andre and Elizabeth have passed away. DiBiase is with WWE, Hogan’s life is spiraling out of control, Savage is nowhere to be found, and Jesse is talking up runs for Senate and even President. Elizabeth was very instrumental in that match; what did she do just before the finish?

3. Elizabeth was also very important in the post match celebration, as it planted the seeds for the extremely successful Hogan-Savage feud of 1989. What subtle thing did Hogan do to Elizabeth after the match that was played up months later in the Savage-Hogan buildup for WrestleMania 5?

4. SummerSlam was also notable for the exciting IC title win by the Ultimate Warrior, who defeated the Honkytonk Man after an interminable title reign that lasted over a year. Well, Honkytonk did draw money during that time, although almost everything in the WWF was. Warrior was a surprise opponent that night. Whom was he subbing for?

5. 1989 was a great year for the NWA in terms of critical acclaim. In the WWF, it was more of the same: cartoon characters that kids and teens loved, but older, hardcore wrestling fans loathed. A perfect example was new heel Zeus, who everyone had just seen on “Perfect Strangers” and other television shows years before. Zeus was Tiny Lister, an actor who happened to have a great look for pro wrestling. He was bad in the ring, but how could he have been expected not to be. Why was the WWF so invested in getting Zeus over as a heel during this time?

6. The visual at SummerSlam ’89 of Brutus Beefcake cutting Sherri Martel’s hair was hilarious. What was very obvious about Sherri’s hair that night?

7. 1990 was the year lots of kids started losing interest in pro wrestling, at least in my age group. WCW was really hurting under Jim Herd’s leadership, and the WWF had a rough year after Warrior failed to carry the promotion the way Hogan could. So of course, Hogan was back. Hogan had an effective feud with the late “Earthquake” John Tenta, which culminated at SummerSlam. I remember the day Earthquake was debuted on WWF television, and not long after that, he was headlining. How was Earthquake introduced to the WWF viewers?

8. The 1991 SummerSlam was pretty eventful because of everything that was going on behind the scenes. Warrior was fired after the show, and the WWF was about to begin a very long period where they would be anything but media darlings. The steroid and sex scandals were about to hit, but in the ring, SummerSlam ’91 was solid. Bret vs. Hennig got all the attention, which it deserved, but there was another match on the card that exceeded all expectations. Ted DiBiase pulled off a career performance in carrying the green Virgil to a very good, well constructed match. DiBiase put on a clinic on how to have a good match with someone who was incredibly inexperienced, and on a big show like this, Teddy showed why he was still one of the best. What title were DiBiase and Virgil wrestling for?

9. Warrior may have been gone from the WWF after the show, but he would be replaced by another huge, green, muscular guy with a million dollar look. What future star debuted on this show in the role as guest referee?

10. With the Iron Sheik, Randy Savage, General Adnan, and Ultimate Warrior all on the same show and under the same roof, the venue for SummerSlam ’91 could very well have been called the nut house. But the venue was pretty legendary, and still is. In what building was SummerSlam ’91 held?

Answers will be posted next time.

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