On Saturday, July 19, 2008 at 3:24 AM EST WWE Smackdown
July 18, 2008
Report by: Mike Tedesco of WrestleView.com
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…” The WWE video leads us into the show.
We open up with a little video describing a flame that cannot be extinguished – the relationship of Edge and Vickie Guerrero! It’s basically just a recap of the past few weeks’ events leading up to the wedding. Tonight, we celebrate the undying love of Edge and Vickie Guerrero.
We now see a video from earlier today with the actual wedding of Vickie Guerrero and Edge. Edge and Vickie are both decked out in full white, which is the color virgins wear at their wedding – just a little useless piece of information. Both of them are sinners, by the way. Anyway, the priest asks for the rings and Chavo, the best man, pretends like he didn’t get the rings but – SWERVE! – he fools us all! He had the rings all along! They all share a good laugh. The priest asks if Edge takes Vickie to be his lawfully wedded wife and he does! The priest then asks Vickie if she takes Edge as her lawfully wedded husband and she does! The priest now pronounces them man and wife and Edge kisses the disaster. They then smile and Edge looks like he’s crying. Jim Ross then announces to us that tonight is the Wedding Reception of Edge and Vickie Guerrero. What’s her new last name now that Edge doesn’t have one?
The stage is all set up in flowers and wedding party tables. Bam Neely, Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder are already out on the stage in tuxedos clapping. Alicia Fox is there too! Justin Roberts then asks us to please welcome the best man Chavo Guerrero. He comes out and shakes everyone’s hands. Now Justin Roberts asks us to please welcome for the first time in public as husband and wife – Edge and Vickie (no Guerrero). The wedding march plays and the happy couple comes out to a chorus of the Bronx cheer (boos for non-baseball fans). They take a seat at the table on the platform.
Chavo takes a microphone and says that he’s kind of nervous but he jotted something down that he wants them to hear. Chavo says that Vickie really found himself a keeper in Edge. He then says to Edge that he’s the brother that he never had. Chavo says he’s the perfect fit to be in the Guerrero family because he’s got a little of that Guerrero wild side. He tells Vickie not to worry though – he’s a changed man. They can’t even get him to turn his cell phone off because he’s always waiting for a call from her. He says that’s love (yeah, right) and that the love they share is the greatest love of all. It’s usually only reserved for movies but he’s proud to be there to watch it blossom and grow.
Chavo says it’s an honor to be Edge’s best man and it’s an honor to be at Edge’s side this Sunday when he watches him take the WWE Championship from Triple H. He says that celebration might be bigger than this one tonight! Chavo says he can picture it now and as part of his wedding gift to them he shows a picture of a fake WWE Magazine to help them picture it too. It’s Edge with the WWE Championship with the caption “Edge Plays and Wins the Game!” Chavo asks Charlotte, North Carolina to toast the bride and groom – Edge and Vickie!
Edge has the microphone and sighs. He says today is the most wonderful day of his life but more importantly it’s the day he gets to make the love of his life, his bride, Vickie Guerrero the happiest woman in the world. Yuck. He says the best way to do that is she loves her action, if you know what he means, in more ways than one! He then says it’s time to get this show on the road and the music of Hornswoggle & Finlay plays!
Finlay comes down with blow up shillelaghs. Jim Ross announces to us that this Sunday Miz & Morrison will defend their WWE Tag Team Championships in a fatal four way involving Jesse & Festus, Finlay & Hornswoggle and Hawkins & Ryder.
Edge says that he’s watched week in and week out Finlay and Hornswoggle blatantly cheat. Whether its water guns or shillelaghs they’re blatantly cheating. He says that Hawkins & Ryder are too smart to fall for it. He says there’s someone /* who’s too smart to fall for it – the special guest referee – Edge! He tells his bride he’ll be right back!
Jim Ross and Mick Foley now officially welcome us to Friday Night Smackdown! Edge is in the ring and he takes Finlay’s real shillelagh and tosses it up the stage. Good toss too!
Finlay & Hornswoggle vs. Hawkins & Ryder
Guest Referee: Edge
The bell sounds and this match is officially underway. It’s Finlay in the ring with Hawkins. It should be noted that Hawkins and Ryder are wrestling this match in their tuxes. They lock up and Finlay quickly gets Hawkins tied up in the corner and Edge immediately rushes over and forcibly breaks them apart, getting in Finlay’s face. They exchange some words and then Finlay locks up with Hawkins again and within seconds Edge grabs Finlay by the waist and forcibly separates them. Edge claims Finlay pulled the hair. Finlay looks frustrated and he turns around into a big right hand and he’s down. Hawkins puts the boots to Finlay, picks him up and whips him into his corner hard. Finlay goes down to a knee and Hawkins tags in Ryder. Hawkins holds Finlay wide open and Ryder puts a fist to the midsection and another punch. Ryder hits a neckbreaker on Finlay for a very quick one count. Ryder locks Finlay in a neck wrench but not for long as Finlay gets to a knee and Ryder hits Finlay in the midsection and hits a big forearm to the head, putting Finlay back into the corner where Ryder puts the boots to the tough Irishman. He takes Finlay out of the corner and hits another forearm to the face and whips Finlay into his corner. Ryder charges but Finlay gets a boot up in his face and he quickly turns and belts Hawkins in the jaw. Finlay then clotheslines Ryder down to the canvas. Hornswoggle is in the ring (not tagged in) and Finlay uses Hornswoggle like a battering ram, throwing ol’ Horny into Hawkins’ midsection. Both Hawkins and Ryder are lying down next to each other now and both father and son come off the ropes and hit stereo sitting splashes! Edge then grabs Hornswoggle by the collar and Finlay looks mad. Edge says he’s got him now and then Hornswoggle wiggles out of his jacket! Finlay then props Edge up on his shoulder for the Celtic Cross but it’s stopped with Ryder (I think) pulling Finlay’s leg out from under him. Finlay then turns around into a HUGE Spear from Edge and Hawkins (I think) makes the cover for the win!
Winners by Pinfall: Hawkins & Ryder
Match Rating: *
Jim Ross says that Hawkins and Ryder now have an advantage going into the Bash and Mick Foley playfully mentions that Edge looks like a Good Humor Ice Cream Man in his wedding suit. Nice. All three men go back up to the stage and high five.
Justin Roberts asks everyone to look towards center stage as Vickie and Edge will have their first dance as husband and wife. The crowd does not like this. Some really lame song starts playing and these two singers start singing the same song that’s recycled from all WWE weddings “Forever”. It’s actually a really nice song but I’ll never really enjoy it because it’ll always connect in my mind as a WWE song. It should be noted that the two singers are a really bad duo. Their harmonizing is absolutely brutal. No pitch and everything is sharp. Well the dance continues until the Big Show comes out and cuts in and starts dancing with Vickie! Edge yells for the music to be cut. He says he doesn’t blame Show for wanting to dance with his lovely wife. He says that he knows Big Show has a match next but he doesn’t know who his opponents are – only Edge does. He tells Big Show to get his butt down to the ring and Big Show goes down smiling. Who are his opponents? We’ll find out after the break.
Big Show vs. Shelton Benjamin, MVP, Vladimir Kozlov & The Great Khali
Big Show is not happy about this 4 on 1 but what can you do? Never rub another man’s rhubarb!
The bell rings and Shelton Benjamin is starting the match for his team. He doesn’t seem happy about that. Shelton and the Show lock up but Big Show quickly throws Benjamin across the ring and wags his finger at him. Shelton gets into an argument with MVP and Benjamin tags MVP in the shoulder. MVP gets in and gets in stance to take the Big Show on but he quickly backs away and tags in Kozlov and exits the ring, eliciting laughter from the audience. Kozlov locks up with Show and immediately goes for the hammerlock but Big Show doesn’t allow it and he tosses Kozlov into the corner! Khali now tags himself in and he comes face to face with the Big Show. They exchange words (I don’t know how since Khali can’t speak English) and Khali shoves Show! Show shoves back and Khali responds with some right hands. Khali Irish whips Big Show and Big Show comes off the ropes and levels Khali with a clothesline! Shelton Benjamin runs and Big Show hits him with a big boot! Kozlov rushes in and gets taken down with a back elbow! Big Show then takes MVP from the apron to the ring and clotheslines him down. Benjamin is now up and starts punching the Big Show and this match is too out of hand and the referee calls for the bell. I believe this is ruled a No Contest because Big Show instigated the whole thing and the illegal men attacked. No announcement was made at least.
Winner: No Contest
Match Rating: ½ *
Big Show head-butts Benjamin down to the canvas and turns into a Big Chop from Khali. Big Show then turns around into a Dragon Kick from Shelton Benjamin! Big Show staggers into the corner and MVP hits that huge running kick to the face of Big Show. Vladimir Kozlov then hits that huge head-butt to Big Show’s sternum and Big Show is down on his back. All three men start kicking Big Show and MVP suggests they pick him up so Khali can have his way with him. They do and Khali hits an impressive Khali Bomb on Big Show and he then defiantly raises his hands in the air!
Foley says coming up later tonight a battle with shades of the Civil War. A brother vs. brother match and it’s not Undertaker and Kane. It’s Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy!
Just For Men plays the replay of last week’s events with Natalya attacking Michelle McCool after their match.
Vickie Guerrero is in the ring (with no wheelchair!) and she says that it’s a wedding tradition – and then she’s cut off by the crowd booing. She says this is her day, excuse her! She says she has something to say and asks them to be quiet! She begins again a few times and they keep cutting her off. She says that’s rude! She then begins again by saying it’s a wedding tradition to gather all the wedding bachelorettes and see who can catch the wedding bouquet.
All of Smackdown’s Divas, without Maria who was advertised on last week’s show to be here tonight, are outside the ring waiting for the bouquet. All of a sudden Michelle McCool attacks Natalya as a receipt for last week’s attack! Vickie excuses herself and asks McCool if she’s trying to ruin her day. She then tells Hawkins and Ryder to get McCool out of the ringside area! McCool is taken to the back. Vickie says now that we’ve gotten rid of that disturbance it’s time to continue. She asks the ladies if they’re ready and they are! Victoria is overly excited, jumping up and down clapping. Vickie counts down from three and throws. All the Divas make a mad dash to the flowers and Cherry gets them! She’s really happy and Vickie says she’s happy for Cherry as well! I sense a swerve! Vickie says she was a little worried about Cherry because she never thought she’d get married! However, since she caught the bouquet, she’s entitled to a special match tonight against Vickie!! However, before she can have the match against Vickie, she has to face Natalya!
Cherry vs. Natalya
The bell rings and Cherry is getting in the ring. She’s still in her high heels when Natalya takes her down by the hair and mounts her (try not to think dirty). She lays in some heavy hands and then takes the bouquet and hits her with it. Flowers are everywhere. I guess Natalya really wanted it. Natalya then quickly locks in the Sharpshooter and this match is over just as quickly as it began!
Winner by Submission: Natalya
Match Rating: No star
Vickie says to hold on because it’s her turn now! She tells the ref to start the match!
Cherry vs. Vickie Guerrero
The bell rings and Vickie covers Cherry for the pin.
Winner by Pinfall: Vickie Guerrero
Match Rating: No star
La Familia is clapping for her at center stage and she says the winner is the bride! She thanks the audience as they boo on.
Jimmy Wang Yang’s music hits and he’s back from his Wellness suspension. Brian Kendrick’s music then hits and he’s making his first appearance on Friday Night Smackdown with this huge black bodyguard named Ezekiel, a great biblical name according to Mick Foley.
Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Brian Kendrick w/ Ezekiel
Kendrick is in new tights and his bodyguard looks like Isaac Hayes. The bell rings and Yang goes to shake Kendrick’s hand but he refuses! Yang goes to lock up with Kendrick but he puts Yang in a tight hammerlock. Yang reverses it and hits a headlock takeover on Kendrick! Yang has the headlock locked on but Kendrick gets up to his feet and puts pressure on the back of Yang’s knee to bring him down and then Kendrick takes the left arm of Yang and wrenches. Yang runs to the ropes and holds on as he back flips, stopping the pressure of the wrench and locks in a hammerlock. Foley and JR are putting over that Kendrick has always been a jerk and this is the real Brian Kendrick. I met him in person and he’s a damn good fellow! Anyway, Kendrick grabs the ropes and the hold must be broken. Jim Ross says that’s the easy way out – don’t you think that’s just a little bit of a silly thing to say?
Kendrick charges Yang and gets a drop toe hold and gets up into a hurricanrana! Jimmy Wang Yang then “Yee haws” and clotheslines Kendrick over the top rope! Yang then goes for a Plancha but Kendrick runs away. Yang landed on his feet anyway and goes to chase but stops in front of Ezekiel! Kendrick comes around him and hits a running forearm to Yang’s face, knocking him down! Kendrick gets him back in the ring and locks in the hammerlock then charges him shoulder first into the turnbuckle! Yang’s left shoulder is causing him pain so Kendrick hits a stiff kick to the shoulder knocking Jimmy down to his knees. Kendrick then takes the left arm, holds it and then kicks it! Yang is writhing in pain now. Yang kicks out of a pinfall attempt at one. Kendrick then locks in a sitting arm bar. Kendrick is going for the ground game I guess. Yang is on his stomach now and this is a Fujiwara Arm Bar. Yang is fighting hard and he gets to his feet. Yang starts hitting some forearms to the temple but Kendrick kicks the arm and hits a hammerlock body slam! Ouch! It’s too bad Kendrick didn’t hold Yang’s hand because it looked silly with Yang being the only one keeping his hand back there. Kendrick is waiting on the ropes and Jimmy is on his knees and Kendrick delivers a stiff kick to that shoulder for a one count. Kendrick now locks on a really brutal looking (in a good way) key lock and it’s apparent he’s looking for the submission. Yang is trying to fight back and get the hold reversed but its tough.
Yang is up to his feet and he hits a quick arm drag to Kendrick! Kendrick runs and Yang hits a backslide pin for a two count! Kendrick charges Yang again and Yang hits him with a back elbow (using the right arm). Yang goes up to the second rope and hits a missile dropkick for a two count! Yang picks Kendrick up, goes for the Irish whip but Kendrick tries to wrench the arm but Yang hits a stiff kick to the leg dropping Kendrick down to his knees. Yang hits a nice enzuigiri for a very close two count. Yang then stupidly goes up to the top rope in the corner where Ezekiel is and Ezekiel begins climbing the stairs and Yang just stares. Kendrick then takes Yang down from the top rope hard with a powerbomb and then hits Sliced Bread #2 for the pinfall. Pretty boring.
Winner by Pinfall: Brian Kendrick
Match Rating: *
I changed my mind. The bodyguard Ezekiel looks like Ving Rhames. Ezekiel then puts on this white jacket with a leopard skin trim on Kendrick and Foley claims that this is like a young Shawn Michaels from the Attitude Era. Yeah, right. I can already see when Ezekiel turns on Kendrick because this didn’t work out.
Backstage, Edge is walking around and he runs into Terry who is apparently a Slim Jim guy. Who the hell is that? Terry gives Edge a wedding gift – a box a Slim Jim. What a cheap prick – he works for the company! Edge thanks him but says he doesn’t have time to talk and says he’s got to get back to his woman and walks off.
We come back and it’s the wedding reception. Steaks are out (like Vickie needs it!) and I guess it’s dinner time.
Kennedy’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring. They show last week’s events with Umaga attacking Kennedy with MVP looking on. Kennedy has the microphone and he says he may be from Green Bay, Wisconsin but tonight he’s kicking it in North Cack-o-lacky! He says he’s MISTER!! He says he knows the crowd can do better and he does it again! MISTER KENNEDY!!! KENNEDY!!!
Mr. Kennedy vs. Umaga
The bell rings and Kennedy runs to lock up but Umaga pushes him down. Kennedy smiles and hits some rights. Umaga goes to punch but Kennedy ducks and begins punching the back but Umaga hits a back elbow and knocks him down. Umaga goes to smash Kennedy’s head in the corner but he stops it from happening and elbows Umaga in the gut. Kennedy hits some rights and Umaga pushes Kennedy in the ropes and then takes his head off with a clothesline! Umaga comes off the ropes for a standing head-butt but Kennedy rolls out of the way and Umaga head-butts the canvas. Kennedy starts hitting some rights again but Umaga hits a knee to the midsection. He whips Kennedy into the ropes and lowers his head so Kennedy kicks him in the face but this only infuriates Umaga who takes his head off again with a clothesline. Umaga picks him up and head-butts him down. Umaga picks him up again and knocks him down with a huge right hand.
Umaga kicks Kennedy in the gut and then climbs the rope for a Banzai Drop but Kennedy kicks Umaga in the face while he’s coming down! Umaga drops to his knees and Kennedy begins kicking and punching Umaga. Umaga pushes Kennedy off but Kennedy charges back with a splash in the corner! Kennedy comes off the ropes for a running kick a la MVP but Umaga floors him with a back elbow. Umaga is stepping on Kennedy’s head and the referee is counting. Umaga gets off at four. Umaga then hits a hard Irish whip to the corner and Kennedy falls face first to the canvas. Umaga picks him up and does it again with the same result. Umaga drops a leg to the back of Kennedy’s head for a two. Umaga delivers a stiff kick to Kennedy’s back. He starts trying to fight back with some rights to the midsection but Umaga hits a throat thrust and stops that comeback. Umaga then locks on that dreaded nerve hold. Kennedy tries to get to his feet but Umaga head-butts him down and keeps it locked in. Kennedy gets up to his feet and gets out of the hold. He comes off the ropes and Umaga gets the knee into his midsection causing Kennedy to flip in the air and he’s back down on the canvas. Umaga kicks him and locks in the nerve hold AGAIN. A very slow and brooding pace and it’s kind of boring so far. Kennedy has his eyes closed like he’s passing out from the hold. The crowd is trying to will him on but to no avail. Charles Robinson raises Kennedy’s arm and it drops twice but not a third time! The match is still on! Kennedy is shaking while getting to his feet. He starts elbowing Umaga’s midsection, breaks the hold, comes off the ropes and gets DESTROYED with a Samoan Drop! Time for a break.
We’re back from the break and the scene is pretty much the same way we left it – Kennedy down on the mat and Umaga walking around screaming his head off. During the commercial break Kennedy was trying to get to his feet and Umaga blasted him with a swift kick to the mush! In live action Umaga walks around a bit and then locks in that nerve hold again. Edge and Vickie are watching the match from the stage and they have the same look on their face like I do – boredom. Kennedy gets to his feet and elbows down on Umaga’s arm trying to break the hold and he does. Kennedy punches Umaga in the face and goes to body slam the Samoan Bulldozer but can’t even get him off his feet. A second burst of energy and he gets him up halfway but falls back and Kennedy almost gets himself pinned with a two count. Oh my god – that nerve hold is back on again. Jesus Christ! Kennedy is up to his feet, elbows out of the hold and runs into a throat thrust, knocking him down.
Umaga walks over to the corner and goes up to the second rope. Umaga comes off for a diving head-butt and Kennedy rolls out of the way! Kennedy is now up and he’s punching Umaga with rights! Umaga pushes him into the corner and goes for a big splash but Kennedy rolls out of his way and Umaga bounces his head off the metal ring post! Kennedy goes for a roundhouse kick but Umaga ducks and Kennedy comes back for another one! Umaga is stunned on his feet and then drops for a two count! Kennedy then goes for the Mic Check and goes back to do the move but Umaga stays on his feet and Kennedy slams himself hard on the mat! Umaga then picks him up by the throat and levels him with the Samoan Spike for the pin!
Winner by Pinfall: Umaga
Match Rating: * ¼
At the announcer’s table Jim Ross is holding a Slim Jim box and says it’s time to show the spicier side of Edge’s life. A commercial plays with Edge walking into a DMV Department and it’s a long line so Edge whips out a Slim Jim and passes it to a mini-Edge who has hairy eyebrows, creates havoc and drives everyone out of the DMV and Edge asks for personalized plates – SPICY! Terrible commercial. Worse than the John Cena and Vince McMahon Gillette commercial.
Still to come – Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy.
We come back from the break and Alicia Fox, the wedding planner, is making sure the cake is perfect. John Morrison’s music hits and Miz & Morrison come out.
Miz & Morrison vs. Jesse & Festus
The bell rings and Festus, of course, goes insane. Jesse calms him down and Festus goes on the apron. Morrison will be starting the match out against him. Jesse goes to lock up but Morrison pushes him. They then lock up and Jesse hits an impressive take down on Morrison! Almost an inverted back suplex! Morrison gets up in Jesse’s corner and Festus screams in his face! Jesse then rams Morrison’s head in the turnbuckle and tags in Festus. Jesse whips Morrison into Festus and Festus hits him with a right hand so hard his gum goes flying out! Festus hits a big fall away slam on Morrison and then a big head-butt! Festus then hits a huge body slam on him and tags in Jesse! Festus body slams Jesse on top of Morrison and Jesse covers him for a one count. Jesse whips John Morrison into the corner and runs up and monkey flips him. Jesse goes up to the top rope and hits a crossbody for a two count! Jesse whips Morrison into the ropes but it’s reversed and it’s Jesse into the ropes but he holds on and Morrison charges into a back elbow! While the referee has his back turned Miz grabs Jesse’s hair and pulls it. Jesse turns into a huge clothesline from Morrison and he tags in The Miz.
Morrison holds up Jesse and Miz kicks Jesse in the ribs and then hits an elbow to the neck which sends him to his knees. Miz has a chinlock on Jesse and Jesse kind of arm drags him out and goes to tag Festus but Miz stops him. Jesse gets to his back and kicks Miz off and tags in Festus! The Corn Fed Colossus comes in with two rights to Miz’s face and a clothesline and then knocks John Morrison off the apron! Festus whips Miz into the corner and hits a butt bump, goes off the ropes and hits a spinning back elbow to his face! He then big boots Morrison off the apron again! Festus turns and hits a bicycle kick to Miz’s face! Festus gets the crowd into it and comes off the ropes and hits that sort of a forward sitting splash on Miz and tags in Jesse. Jesse goes to the top rope and Festus propels him off and he clotheslines Miz down for a two count and it’s broken up by Morrison! Festus takes Morrison, throws him out of the ring and charges but Morrison side steps him and Festus head-butts the ring post! In the ring Jesse goes to whip Miz into the corner but it’s reversed and it’s Jesse in the corner. Miz charges but meets a boot to the face and Jesse goes to the second rope but Morrison is coming to get him so he punches him and Morrison falls into Festus’ shoulders and Festus hits his TKO Finisher on the outside! Miz has Jesse on his feet and Miz hits the Reality Check and covers him for the pin!
Winners by Pinfall: Miz & Morrison
Match Rating: **
We’re back from the break and it’s time for the RAW Rebound. It was a pretty strong RAW up until that EXTREMELY HORRIBLE angle with JBL trying to kill John Cena with a car. Why wasn’t he arrested on the spot for attempted murder? That was just the worst segment I can remember on RAW in a while. Proof that Smackdown is the A Show baby!
We now get a rundown of the Great American Bash card, which is real strong by the way and it’s this Sunday! Now it’s time for Brother vs. Brother. The two Hardys come out together and take the wedding cake and throw it in Chavo’s face!
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
The wedding party is completely upset because of the shenanigans before the commercial break.
The bell rings and the two brothers shake hands and get ready for the match. They lock up and Jeff takes his brother’s arm and wrenches it. Jeff gets him in a hammerlock and Matt reverses it and gets him in a headlock. They go into the ropes and Jeff gets out of the hold by whipping him but Matt hangs onto the arm, wrenches it and gets Jeff in a headlock. Jeff Hardy breaks the hold and wrenches Matt’s arm and he wrenches Jeff’s arm, which flips him over and he kicks up to his feet and wrenches Matt’s arm again. He begins driving his shoulder into Matt’s and then locks in an arm lock. Matt pushes Jeff off into the ropes, Matt goes to his belly so Jeff jumps over and Matt hip tosses his brother. Matt does his hand signal and smiles. Jeff gets up, goes to lock up and Matt hits a school boy for a two count!
Matt goes for the Twist of Fate but Jeff counters into a Twist of Fate attempt of his own and Matt pushes him off into the turnbuckle, which Jeff promptly climbs and hits Whisper in the Wind on his brother! Jeff takes Matt’s legs out from under him, lifts Matt’s legs over his own head and does that leg drop compression pin for a two count! They’re both up and Jeff comes off the ropes and knocks Matt down with a forearm to the face and comes off the ropes again and hits a spinning neckbreaker on Matt for a one count. Jeff goes to Irish whip Matt but its reversed and Matt goes to throw him out of the ring but Jeff “Skins the cat” and comes back into the ring where he’s clotheslined out by Matt! Matt rolls out of the ring and puts Jeff back in and begins signaling for the Twist of Fate. Matt tries to go for the finisher but Jeff tries to get out and Matt wraps his legs around Jeff for a guillotine choke and Jeff drives Matt hard into the turnbuckle. Matt is down in the turnbuckle and Jeff does his slingshot dropkick for a two count! Jeff goes to hit Matt but Matt gets him in position for the Side Effect, Jeff elbows out and then hits the Side Effect on Matt!! Jeff is now going up the top rope for a Swanton Bomb but Matt rolls out of the way! Matt goes up to the top rope and hits a moonsault for a two count! Now La Familia comes in and puts the boots to them and the match is thrown out!
Winner: No Contest
Match Rating: * ¾
La Familia holds up Jeff Hardy and Edge Spears him! They do the same with Matt and Edge Spears him as well!
We’re back from the break and La Familia is in the ring now with a black carpet down. Edge and Vickie are on stools while the others stand behind. Edge says that they say your wedding day is the happiest day of your life and up until now he never really understood that but now he can vouch for that! He feels it down in the cockles of his heart. He says words cannot express how much he loves her. He loves Vickie from the bottom of his heart. Edge says he can’t come out and show her physically – right now at least! – but he can show her another way. He had the Smackdown team put together a little video package which they worked tirelessly on so he could present this to her.
A video now plays highlighting all the lowlights of this brutal duo. It’s really gross and I didn’t really want to go back and relive those dark days of nasty segments. The video ends with “Congratulations Vickie and Edge”. Thankfully Triple H’s music hits to end this crap!
Triple H comes out to the stage smiling with the WWE Championship and a big wrapped box. He puts it down on the table and has a microphone now. He pretends to have a tear in his eye. He says he can tell by the looks on their faces that they’re not exactly happy to see him out there. He says that’s understandable as he does have a reputation at weddings! He can promise this – he is not secretly married to Vickie Guerrero!! He’s here for the same reason everyone /* is – to celebrate true love to which the audience boos. The true love they feel for each other just warms his heart and he’s brought some gifts to show how he feels. He says he loves the video Edge made for Vickie but since he doesn’t have the resources or the time to make a video like that but he feels his is special in it’s own way and it expresses the love Edge feels for Vickie. Let’s take a look at true love.
The video is from yesterday and Edge is sitting on a couch in a hotel room. There’s a knock at the door and Edge said he’s coming and puts some breath mints in. He answers the door and it’s Alicia Fox! She comes in with flowers and he asks if they’re for him and she laughs. Alicia asks where Vickie is and Edge said she’s out preparing for the wedding. They plan the wedding for the next day and Edge and Vickie are shown in the ring wondering what’s going on.
Triple H asks for the video to be held and he can tell by the look on Edge’s face that he’s not happy and he knows the wedding planning is boring so they’ll fast forward and get to the good stuff.
Back in the hotel room Edge is holding a white rose and he says white symbolizes purity and his love for Vickie. He smells it and says he’s attracted to scents and asks her to smell it. She says it’s nice and he asks what she’s wearing and she says she’s not wearing anything. He says she smells like angel’s harmonizing and goes to put his arm around her and when she rejects it he pretends he was just stretching because his trapezoid hurts. He asks her to massage it for him and she reluctantly does. She says it doesn’t really feel stiff and he claims it’s getting stiffer! SEXUAL INUENDO!
Triple H asks for it to stop again. Edge says she knows he’s had neck fusion and he gets knots. Triple H says that’s a perfectly reasonable explanation and lots of guys invite women up to their hotel rooms to massage them when their wives are away – it’s nothing! Edge says he’s had enough and tells La Familia to stop him! Triple H says he thought that might happen and says that’s where gift number two comes in and he brings out the sledgehammer. He said one size fits all and they back off! He says it’s time to go back to true love!
Edge is now massaging Alicia. He says it’d be better if she wasn’t wearing a bra and says he was out trying to buy lingerie for Vickie but when he told the people Vickie’s size they sent him to Lane Bryant for bigger people and they go to Edge in the ring with his head down and Triple H is making this ridiculously hilarious face. Edge says that he went and they took him to the back and he admitted that Vickie wears granny panties and they’re huge because they have to be to cover her huge derriere!
Triple H stops it again and says he didn’t watch the video and says this is awkward. He’s embarrassed because he had bought Vickie a pair of HUGE granny panties. He says Edge already had it covered! Triple H says he could always park his car under it! That was hilarious. Triple H says it’s time to cut to the chase of this love saga. Once again – true love.
Edge is now looking longingly at Alicia. He says she’s very attractive and takes off her glasses. He has his hand on her leg and she says she wants to get out of there when he’s moving in. Edge tells her she should stay, he stalls and then kisses her and she quickly backs away!!! Alicia thinks about it and then makes out with Edge!!!
Triple H is cracking up and Alicia Fox is upset. Vickie then starts screaming and attacks Edge! Edge rolls out of the ring and he’s a bit mortified and Vickie is just screaming her head off saying “HOW DARE YOU”, “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU”, “NOOOOO”, “I HATE YOU” and things of that nature. Just lots of screaming. Smackdown goes off the air. Terrific angle.Quick Match Results
Hawkins* & Ryder defeated Finlay* & Hornswoggle (Guest Ref: Edge)
Big Show vs. Benjamin, MVP, Kozlov & Khali (No Contest)
Natalya defeated Cherry via Submission
Vickie Guerrero defeated Cherry
Brian Kendrick w/ Ezekiel defeated Jimmy Wang Yang
Umaga defeated Mr. Kennedy
Miz* & Morrison defeated Jesse* & Festus (non-title)
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy (non-title)
Bump of the Night: Festus hitting the TKO on Morrison on the outside!
Match of the Night: Miz & Morrison vs. Jesse & Festus **
The final segment was absolutely great. Everyone was on for that one and they had to be. Triple H was absolutely hilarious and had me cracking up. The video was well done and everything about the segment was enjoyable. The jokes, the drama, the awkwardness. It actually got my heart pumping! I felt like a voyeur! I liked it! That made the show right there.
I’ve been to some weddings in my day and I could have sworn that when they’re taking their vows there’s a lot more than just asking if they’ll be the lawfully wedded spouse. Oh the time constraints of television. If I’m going to be made to believe they actually got married I want a little more realism thank you very much!
I know it probably wouldn’t have had a place on the show but I still wish that the Ric Flair farewell speech aired on Smackdown. We’re deep in the heart of “Flair Country” and I think it should have been acknowledged on the air. Oh well. You can still check out the video – there’s a link to it right here on WrestleView.com!
Most of the matches on tonight’s show were really boring. Good matches were few and far between. It just seemed like the whole show was built around one rivalry – as it should have been – but it was like no one /* had a rivalry going on. Still, the Smackdown portion of the Bash is going to be really strong and after this show I’m excited.
Random Thought: All fans of Batman and the franchise should go see “The Dark Knight”. Easily the best $10 I’ve spent on a movie this year (that and Iron Man). The Joker rocks.
What are they doing with Mr. Kennedy? He jobs clean to Umaga and barely gets in any offense? What’s that all about??
I really liked the Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy match but I kind of wish I got that tag match from ECW instead. That would have been more fun to call than what we actually got tonight and how it ended.
Not really too sure about Brian Kendrick’s new attitude and bodyguard. It doesn’t look like it’s going to go too far in my opinion. Oh well, what can you do? At least creative has something for him. I hope I’m wrong and I wish him success.
I’m looking forward to next week’s Smackdown for the fallout of the draft and the fallout of this wedding reception. I’m even anxious to see who will be the new Diva’s Champion. If it’s not Natalya it’s not going to be worth it.
Final Smackdown Rating: ** ½
As always, I would love to hear back from all fans of the column. I respond to all e-mails, even the offbeat ones. Please include thoughts on the column and ways to improve it!
E-Mail – MikeyT817@hotmail.com
No preemptions that I’m aware of in my area so I will be back next week! Enjoy the Great American Bash!
Thanks for reading!