?Sylin? and Profilin’?-Kayfabe Is Overrated
This past week on Smackdown Triple H openly acknowledged that he was married to Stephanie McMahon. To most hardcore ‘smark? wrestling fans this is not news. After seeing this in action I started to wonder about all of the other real-life storylines that the WWE could integrate into their weekly programming. So here are a few ideas about how the WWE could incorporate real-life activities and relationships into both RAW and Smackdown to shake things up a bit.
What To Do With Christian?
So apparently Vince doesn?t like Christian because he has a ?Swimmer’s body?. Why doesn?t Christian call out Vince on ECW? Christian could tell all by shooting on Vince saying that he left in 2005 because he never felt that Vince would not give him the push that he deserved. Of course, if we are going to go down this route anyways, Christian might as well tell all about TNA and mention how once Kurt Angle arrived the company turned into a circus. In fact, I?m all for this if we get some good locker room stories about Scott Steiner. Actually now that I?m writing this it seems all the more preposterous, but yet something I want booked more and more. Can you imagine? Christian talking about his time in TNA and telling all about nights out drinking with Scott Steiner? I mean who WOULDN?T want to hear about Scott Steiner’s adventures in Orlando! Just imagine Steiner out on the town in Orlando hitting on girls (both of age and underage). Find some videos of him on youtube if you need an idea of how that would go.
Disney World + Scott Steiner + Bars + Alcohol = Ridiculous
Anyways, back on topic. After discussing Steiner’s shenanigans in detail the Vince/Christian feud could deteriorate into some kind of swimming competition in which Christian actually needs to lose the match in order to prove to Vince he belongs in the WWE.
So a couple of weeks back a report surfaced, with complementary videos on youtube, that recapped an incident between Chris Jericho and some fans. For those who aren?t familiar with the incident Jericho was trying to leave the arena after an event (I believe it was a house show). Fans were blocking his exit which caused Jericho to stop and exit his car in order to get fans to move out of the way. When Jericho stepped out of his car he was taunted by fans and even mildly attacked by a fan. The result was Jericho pushed a woman down by pie-facing her. Ultimately no charges were filed against Jericho.
So in lieu of this incident I?m proposing that we have Santino Marella wrestle Chris Jericho for the right to face Melina or Maryse for the WWE and Diva’s championship. Winner gets to chose which champion he faces. I figure Santino is already pretty much a full time competitor in the women’s division. This is Jericho’s chance to enter the fold. And if you think about it, it isn?t really that far removed from what he’s doing now. Truthfully, Melina, Maryse, Mickie James and Beth Phoenix might offer better competition for Jericho than Steamboat, Piper, and Snuka. I?m calling it now: Jericho vs. Melina at Backlash for the women’s championship
Matt Hardy and Ashley Massaro
Now I realize that Massaro is no longer with the company, but she’s been an integral part of the company for a few years now (when she wasn?t injured or taking part in an alleged prostitution ring). Why not bring her back for this feud between Jeff and Matt? While the WWE hasn?t exactly come out and admitted that for storyline purposes it’s been Matt Hardy that orchestrated the hit-and-run on Jeff Hardy, caused the pyro malfunction, and burned down his house. Why not bring Massaro back into the mix and have her come forward and admit that the reason Jeff Hardy has had to deal with drug suspensions over the past is because she has planted drugs in his food and played a role in helpful sabotage his career. It fits with the current storyline and gives us one more chance to see Massaro on WWE programming. Of course, the other side to this coin is that who really wants to see Massaro on WWE programming anymore?
Okay. I?ll admit it. Outside from the Scott Steiner references I?m really hurting for material this month. I think it’s partly because I just don?t find anything that dynamic about what’s going on in the WWE these days. Or TNA for that matter. Everything is just so paint by numbers that it’s hard to even really get excited about the product in a lot of ways. That isn?t to say it’s bad per sae, but everything we see on TV is safe these days. There’s not much to think about outside the box. I suppose it’s possible I?m just in a funk when it comes to viewing wrestling (or pulled in so many other directions I can?t even really focus on what the WWE is giving us).
Let’s look at the main events for Wrestlemania 25 and nothing really excites me. Don?t get me wrong, I?m in favor of the main events we are getting. Last month I wrote about how Triple H vs. Orton and Cena vs. Edge was a passing of the torch of sorts, and how we shouldn?t be upset as WWE fans for getting this main events. A month later I only partially agree with that. I think Orton vs. Triple H has the potential to be monumental. In many ways bigger than Randy Orton vs. John Cena. I know this may seem like an absurd statement to make, but from a historical perspective, Triple H vs. Randy Orton is a pretty big deal. I still fully believe that this match is a torch passing of sorts. The one that Orton never got when he left Evolution. There could be some argument made as to whether or not Triple H is the guy you want putting Orton over to establish him and cement him as the top heel in the company, but to me it’s plain as day. You need someone currently with the company that you can count on. Plus with this feud there’s extra heat behind it because of the history between the two. Regardless, I?d love to see things mixed up a bit. Let’s throw a curve ball in this feud as well. For example, how about after Orton wins the title (because let’s face it, he is), Stephanie, Shane, and Vince come to the ring and Triple H pedigrees all three into the mat. Something, anything to make things interesting! Plus, I have to admit I?d gain a small sense of satisfaction from the reaction we?d see on internet.
Okay, I know it’s an outrageous and even silly idea. But my point, and the idea itself, lies in something else: restoring, or at least helping to restore, kayfabe. I tend to believe (more than most) that kayfabe is long dead largely due to the internet. Segments like the one this past Friday on Smackdown only emphasize this. While casual fans aren?t spending all their days surfing the internet looking for news, the internet has transformed the business much like its transformed other businesses. If a casual fan watches an episode of Smackdown where Triple H announces he’s married to Stephanie McMahon, you better believe that anyone who’s remotely interested in the product is going to Google ?Are Triple H and Stephanie McMahon married? shortly thereafter. Granted, people aren?t going to make a massive run and start posting at the Wrestleview forums daily. But they will lurk in them, and other websites for that matter. The WWE can no longer assume that casual fans are simply casual fans anymore. The internet makes things different. It makes information available to all of us. It makes it possible to find out the truth about Triple H and Stephanie McMahon all while looking at naked pictures of Lita. I don?t care what anyone says: Lita is still kind of hot in a way that I could never truly validate if my life depended on it.
Anyways, I know some of the ideas I?ve presented here are outrageous and make little sense. I know most of them won?t even draw, but that’s besides the point. Part of what has made wrestling special to all of us over the years, especially when we were young, was the idea that it was real and that the people we watched in the ring really were putting it all on the line and gutting it out to win a match for the WWE title, or simply for their own pride. Part of that magic has left us forever with the death of kayfabe. So I?m proposing let’s see more of what we?re seeing with Triple H and Randy Orton feud: mixing kayfabe with reality. It doesn?t restore things to where they used to be, but at least it blurs the line a little bit. When you start integrating real life events into your storylines people start to wonder again about what is true and what isn?t. Take the Matt Hardy/Edge storyline from 2005 for example. For a long period of time there were questions about whether or not Edge and Lita really did have an affair together. To this day there is even some debate on the matter. I tend to believe that Edge and Lita did have an affair together. But regardless of what I believe or don?t believe, blurring the line in that feud made people care more about what was going on. It made people tune in to that feud. It made Edge into the star he is today, and helped put Matt Hardy on the path to becoming one of, if not the best, TV worker in the company.
Let’s see more of this. A little diversity. A little reality. Blur the lines a bit and see what happens. Chances are we?ll all like the results a bit more.