That's a Wrap
By: David Stephens of

Ousta! Welcome back to the only WrestleView column covering topics both nowhere yet everywhere at once. If you are new to the column you are probably going to hate me for the first couple weeks, but then you are going to hit a point where you say ?oh wait a minute, I think he gets it?. Don?t worry, that’s exactly how it is designed to be. This column is all about gut reactions and traveling thoughts. As the great Andy Kaufman once said: ?I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut, or get angry from the gut?.

Against All Odds in Real Time

Often while watching a PPV I pull out my notepad and make constant comments and little notes about the show. The reason you may not know of this fact is because I rarely if ever share any of those notes. I have to be careful about how I argue and structure certain points because there are those just waiting for me to fail. It’s just how it is.

This week I?m going to open up my notes and transcribe them from paper to computer so that you all can experience the craziness running through my head as I was watching the show. Some things to keep in mind while reading: these are stream of consciousness thoughts, instead of answering an argument I may pose a question, and a lot of this may be really random. Seriously, I don?t keep these notes in order, so they are all over the place. It’s all part of the experience of opening up my mind. If you enjoy this, send me an e-mail and I?ll consider sharing my notes for another PPV in the future.

Random AAO thoughts from the Institute for Wrapping Things Up’s Notepad

Some really great quotes are starting to come out of tonight. Love this one from the Foley/Abyss match: ?It’s well documented he’s got cheesy ass feet? ? Taz about Ref. Posey when Foley takes his sock. This is such a well done comedy match. Everything about it was told with an expert flair. The hilarity of Abyss acting childish, weird, and dumb was fantastic.

?Nasty is forever, punk? ? Brian Knobbs. Never grows old.

Hernandez’s leap was not as impressive as usual. The fact that the ramp was there really killed the impact. Should have leapt from another side of the ring.

I?m digging this Nasty Boys match. I?m sure most will hate it but I?m digging the old school Big Guy match feel. Props to Taz for questioning if Knobbs had ever applied an abdominal stretch before in his life.

Jimmy Hart looks great. That hair die is fantastic. I wonder what brand he uses. I haven?t changed my hair color in awhile. Do I want to? Nah, I?m happy at the moment.

Anderson’s promo was epic. ?That was intentional? ? when he missed the microphone. So well done! His one with JB in the back was fantastic. Coming back to finish from the other side? I way dying with laughter.

I like Pope going over Wolfe, gives him a nice rub. I wonder if this means he?ll progress farther? Really screwing with my PPV picks though. 3 of 4 first round picks wrong!

That intro video for the AJ & Angle feud was crazy long. It must have had 15 different angles in it. UPDATE: ? and apparently it is irrelevant because Angle lost. Alrighty then.

Why is it the ?cool? thing right now to hate on TNA? Hey, I used to despise TNA, so I get it. I loved it the first year during the weekly PPV era, and then over the past couple of years started to really dislike it. Not even TNA giving me tickets to a house show and PPV could change my mind. Yet, ever since the Hogan announcement I have really been enjoying the programming. It’s just damn entertaining. I started to enjoy it when I decided to stop being cynical and just have fun.

Why be such a skeptical killjoy? This is FUN and that’s why I do it. Professional Wrestling is ridiculous, but I love it!

It’s as though if the right guy doesn?t win a match 30,000 children are going to die. God forbid a company tries different things or takes risk. TNA is condemned and dismissed as soon as they announce a change, let alone have time to implement it.

News Flash: Professional Wrestling started as a freakin? carnival attraction! Check the history books. I doubt fans of bearded women take their Superstars so seriously and consider every decision life or death. Unless they cut off their beards. Man, could you imagine the outrage?

Anderson has to be the most simultaneously overrated and underrated Superstar in recent memory. Depending on who you ask, he is either God or an injury prone joke. Tonight he was fantastic on the mic, put on some really good matches, and was entertaining. What else do you want? Tonight he certainly satisfied my wrestling needs and desires.

AJ cut a really nice promo with Hemme. Not sure about the hair frosting, but he is really putting a lot of effort into this heel gimmick. It’s starting to pay off.

Only in wrestling can a guy have frosted hair, be half naked, walk around in a boa-encrusted robe, and yet be 100% straight. Anywhere else that guy is flaming gay.

Bischoff was just backstage with Hogan and I couldn?t help but notice the sign on the wall that said ?Please Keep Elephant Door Closed When Not in Use? ? what the hell is an Elephant Door?

Having seen the 4 sided ring for weeks now, I?m 100% behind the decision. The arena just looks so much better.

Random thought: the Dragon Screw is one of my favorite moves. It always looks so great and painful to the leg.

This is such a different match from AJ Styles, but NOT in a bad way. People think negative on what they have deemed AJ becoming Flair V2.0, but so far it is working!

Just a really well done Championship matchup from all 4 men involved.

The Pope just called JB ?BJ? twice. That’s hilarious.

The Pope getting attacked was PERFECT! Kept the storyline going and added a lot of suspense and drama to the finale. Anderson is coming out and demanding a 10 count, fantastic! This is just great heel heat for Anderson.

TNA is building itself up around two really strong heels right now with AJ Styles and Anderson. It is working really well. I hope they don?t let up because they are on to something great. Tonight really cemented that fact.

Anderson is pausing for the mic! This is just classic. OMG The Pope kicks out.. could it be? Yes! The Pope brings it home. Wow, so well done.

Anyone who thinks that Hogan has no faith in young guys is full of crap. The show just went off the air with The Pope Victorious. What a great show!

Thus ends this week’s insight into my stream of conscious thoughts while watching a PPV. It’s something I always do, but decided to actually transcribe and share my notes for the first time. If you enjoyed, or thought this was worth reading send me a message and I?ll look into doing it in the future again.

What’s in the News?
My opinions are in italics
All news is gathered from unless otherwise noted

To update on John Morrison’s injury, apparently when he posted on Twitter that he broke his ankle in three places was a joke. He flew to Ecuador last night and competed at the WWE event in Quito tagging with Matt Hardy against The Hart Dynasty. So it doesn’t appear he will miss any ring time.
This is fantastic, I love when wrestlers specifically do things to screw with the IWC. Love it

Kevin Eck of The Baltimore Sun has an interview up with WWE star and current United States Champion The Miz where he talks about a promo on Raw recently addressing a very real backstage situation. “I got kicked out for eating a piece of chicken over a guy’s bag in the locker room, and I got kicked out for six months. I had to find a place to shower, to use the restroom, to change. I?ve had it pretty rough in the WWE just because I?m an outsider, and WWE is kind of like a close-knit family or like a fraternity. Once you?re an outsider trying to lurk in, they will haze you and haze you and try to see if you?re up for the task or if you?re just going to quit. I?m not a quitter. I?m more of a person that says bring it on.”
It never ceases to amaze me how childish grown men can act on some occasions

The latest edition of WWE Magazine is featuring a look at the production of WrestleMania 26 this year in Glendale, AZ that you can view on regarding the University of Phoenix Stadium. One of the big things noted is that the roof for the stadium will be pulled back per the request of WWE
I?m a huge fan of open roof events. I hope that it doesn?t rain so that the roof can be open this year!

According to a report by The Wrestling Observer Newsletter, Shawn Michaels is planning on taking time off from WWE from April through August unless plans change.
Also according to reports, HBK will be retiring. Or actively wrestling, or who knows? It seems that the popular thing to do is throw up three different theories so that a news group can always so they were ?right?

Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley have been booked for the upcoming Ring of Honor event on May 8 in Manhattan, seeming to indicate a new move by TNA that they no longer have a problem with their contract talent being booked at upcoming ROH events. TNA originally pulled all contracted talent from working for the company once ROH landed a television deal with HDNet.
I?m really glad that TNA is allowing some of its talent to wrestle for ROH again. This will only help their talent gain a larger fan base and help TNA. Their talent can wrestle for pretty much all other Independent promotions, so it is nice to see the doors open to ROH once again. I wonder how angry old Jim Cornette feels about this?

In an interview with Daily Record UK, Maria reveals how she stays fit, including what exercises she does at the gym and what she eats. “I do about an hour of cardio as many days of the week as possible, so some weeks it’s three days, the next it might be seven days. The point is, I go when I can. We’re on the road so often that it’s quite hard to keep a regimen. Everyone expects that I lift big weights but the truth is I don’t do any heavy stuff. I build muscle so easily that if I did big weights, I’d be this big muscular woman, and I really don’t want to look like that!”
This has always amazed me about WWE talent, male or female. The audience expects them to look amazing, yet has no idea the rough road schedule that they keep. I applaud the wrestlers who maintain their figures and strength through healthy means, and really respect their drive

Pro Wrestling Insider is reporting that ECW’s Tiffany (under her real name Taryn Terrell) will appear in the next issue of Playboy’s Lingerie issue.
No comment necessary, these pictures are worth thousands of words

Dixie Carter and Hulk Hogan conducted a press conference on Monday to confirm reports that Impact was indeed moving to Monday nights, starting 3/8. As previously noted, the show will air head to head with Raw, 9 to 11PM ET. Carter was asked about Impact expanding to a three hour format, but the TNA president said that is not the current plan.
Aww yeah! Let’s get the party started. Competition is good, bottom line

WWE’s Jason Robinson told Sky Magazine in a recent interview that the Elimination Chamber cost $250,000 to put together, requires 24 ring crew members to assemble and because of the usage of the Perspex chamber pods, it cost the company $10,000 every time they used it. The chamber itself is also so big that it requires a special 500-foot flatbed truck to transport it weighing in at 16 tons.
Which explains why they only use it once a year. Get as much bang for their buck as possible. I also believe that they store it in New Jersey, but I?m not sure why. Did I read that somewhere? This is excellent journalism right here, haha

Tooth Fairy with Dwayne Johnson did $6 million at the U.S. box office over the weekend. The film is currently at No. 6 in the charts after it’s fourth week out and has taken in over $75 million worldwide. The biggest foreign markets are Mexico [$5.5 million], Brazil [$2.7 million], Spain [$2.3 million], and Venezuela [$1 million]. The production budget was estimated at $48 million.
Another commercial success for The Rock, not bad at all

Bret Hart wrote on his Facebook page that the missing piece of the puzzle from his current program is Jim Ross calling the action. He wrote: “As far as the WWE goes, all I can say is where the heck is Jim Ross? With everything that has transpired in my three appearances on Raw, it’s too bad he hasn’t been there to call it. There’s nobody that calls it the way Jim Ross calls it and that’s the bottom line because I say so.”
He talked about Jim Ross a lot in his book, and the respect that he has for the commentator. Here’s hoping Jim Ross can get healthy soon and return to calling the action.

While it wasn’t initially revealed in our first spoiler report, is reporting that Orlando Jordan kissed a man prior to his match with Samoa Joe at the TNA Impact TV tapings on Monday. Jordan was escorted to the ring by a man and woman and kissed both before his match. Were told this didn’t go over well with many people backstage within TNA and it is possible the company may edit it out. Jason Powell is also reporting that one TNA wrestler said running an angle like that with Jordan would turn off viewers, especially with the show airing on a network like Spike TV that is geared towards men.
Yeah, cause no male wrestler has kissed another male on screen before. Kurt Angle & Brock Lesnar anyone?

It’s been officially announced that on the upcoming live March 8th edition of TNA Impact, which will be the first Monday show for TNA in its new timeslot, will feature Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair returning to the ring in a tag team match. Hogan will tag with Abyss to take on Flair and AJ Styles.
Well I guess it was inevitable. It’s an important night to get ratings, so go for it

According to a report by PWInsider, Jeff Hardy has a deal waiting for him with TNA once he is able to clear up his legal issues. Hardy is scheduled to go on trial on March 17.
If not, I?m sure he?ll join his prison wrestling gang, so there’s always that

Despite some initial marketing materials seeming to indicate that TNA’s upcoming Destination X PPV on March 21 in Orlando, FL would have an “all X Division” theme featuring the return of the Ultimate X, PWInsider is reporting that is no longer the case. The event may have at one point been planned to be promoted that way, but current reports state only a handful of matches will be featured on the card to spotlight the X Division.
Makes sense, I doubt that an only X Division PPV would bring in a very large buy rate. Success is more important than spots as far as I?m concerned

RAW 2/8 ? 3.59
ECW 2/9 ? 1.03
iMpact 2/11 ? 1.19
Superstars 2/11 ? 1.02

Quick Results

RAW February 15th
-WWE Champion Sheamus def. Randy Orton by Disqualification
-Mark Henry & MVP def. Unified Tag Team Champions Big Show & The Miz in a Non-Title Match
-Ted DiBiase def. Kofi Kingston
-John Cena vs. Triple H ended in a No Contest

ECW February 16th
-Unified Tag Team Champions The Miz & Big Show def. Yoshi Tatsu & Goldust (Title Match)
-Ezekiel Jackson def. ECW Champion Christian (Extreme Rules Title Match)

Superstars February 11th
-Jack Swagger def. Santino Marella
-ECW Champion Christian def. Zack Ryder
-Dolph Ziggler def. JTG

TNA Impact February 11th
-8-Card Stud Tournament Qualifying Match: ?The Pope? D?Angelo Dinero def. Orlando Jordan
-8-Card Stud Tournament Qualifying Match: ?The Blueprint? Matt Morgan def. Suicide
-TNA X-Division Championship: Doug Williams (c) def. Amazing Red
-Handicap Match: The Beautiful People def. Tara & Angelina Love
-?Olympic Hero? Kurt Angle & Mr. Anderson def. Desmond Wolfe & ?Super Mex? Hernandez

Smackdown February 12th
-Rey Mysterio def. CM Punk
-Intercontinental Championship Drew McIntyre vs. Kane ends in a double count-out
-Michelle McCool & Layla def. Women’s Champion Mickie James
-The Great Khali & Matt Hardy def. The Hart Dynasty
-R-Truth def. John Morrison
-Chris Jericho def. World Heavyweight Champion Undertaker

David Stephens

So ?that’s a wrap??. Love it? Hate it? Disagree with everything I said? Just want to chat wrestling? I?m always up for reading your thoughts so send them ?em on over.

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The last time I freaked out, I just kept looking down
I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I’m thinking bout
Like I couldn’t breathe you asked what’s wrong with me
My best friend Leslie said, ?Oh she’s just being Miley?
The next time we hang out, I will redeem myself
My heart, it can’t rest till then oh, woah woah
I can’t wait to see you again

Why did I just close out my column with Miley Cyrus lyrics? Because I can