Hello, classroom! Welcome once again to the latest edition of From the Desk of Mr. V. I will provide you with something a little different this week, as I prepare for the best time of year. That is right! I am talking about Christmas! You won?t be hearing ?Happy Holidays? (unless if a reader wants me to shout out their special holiday) from this teacher. I am that one that always says ?Merry Christmas? or ?Christ is Born?. Remember, (and maybe you don?t know this) Mr. V is a member of the Knights of Columbus. I am one of those guys that send Christmas cards of the classic Christmas tale from the Gospel?and I am not one that would send a picture of talking Christmas Trees or cards that you open them up and you hear a pop music song. But I take Christmas seriously. My daughter is in that stage where it makes Christmas even more enjoyable than before. So today class, I thought I would start my Christmas mood with all of you. But for that, there will be sacrifices
First off, no Headlines this week. My other peers at WrestleView provide great analysis on the happenings of pro wrestling involving many disciplines.
Starting the week, I am doing a ?Letter to?.? segment. Kind of like a child writing a letter to Santa Claus, Mr. V will write letters to Vince McMahon, Dixie Carter, and Cary Silken. This week, it will be a letter to the Santa known as Vince McMahon. I always joke around that the WWE reads our material and who knows, maybe they do. I thought about this because well, it might be a little humorous (I am going on the fly here). Anyways, let’s begin with our quote of the week.
Quote of the Week
You know what, instead of a quote?how about a song? Here is one of Mr. V’s favorite Christmas Carols. And NO! It is not Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
We can hardly stand the wait, please Christmas don?t be late! I am sure many of us need the Christmas cheer.
Next week, it may be something from Bing Crosby (my favorite Christmas Caroler). Tune in next week to find out.
Since I did not get a rule request, I have opted to not issue out any rules this week. Besides, this past week wrestling was not all that bad. Now the next week, it may change.
As I mentioned before, no headlines. Later, I will write my first letter to Santa Cla?.I mean Vince McMahon from World Wrestling Federation.
The following people deserve a lump of coat this year for Christmas.
John and Kate, not the plus 8 – Thank goodness this show is over! Those kids should not be on TV so their parents get their 15 minutes of fame.
The WWE’s treatment of Jack Swagger – I am sure I will get ?WWE gave him a chance? e-mails, but Swagger should have at least got a US Title run, or at least get one soon. Or is Swagger a case of being too good too soon. I just hope the rumors are not correct about the WWE and Swagger.
Hulk Hogan – I am happy to see that you will FINALLY appear on TNA?.next month! I will refrain from saying anything else, as I promised a reader that I will not bash the Hulkster this week.
People that buy their wives or husbands the Snuggie – consider yourselves warned (unless they did ask for it of course).
Fans that bring in signs asking for a superstar to throw something at them – Tacky and mostly unsuccessful. Students, do not be that person.
Vladimir Kozlov – Remember how I thought that he was going to be the ECW Champion and how I thought it was going to happen soon? Sadly, I remember too. Maybe I should put myself in detention just for that comment back in April.
Mr. V – See above.
The following people deserve not just one lump of coal, but perhaps two.
That Florida Panther who swung his stick at his own goalie – I know this man is upset that he allowed a goal against the Atlanta Thrashers, but this guy (I think his last name is Ballard) tried to swing for the fences at the goal post. Instead, he swung hard at his own teammate’s head. Why didn?t he get suspended for this by his own team?
Michael Cole – Ok, he was not terrible as usually on 11/23. However, he deserves to be Awful Waffled during the year.
ETS and the Praxis Series – They deserve to be Awful Waffled for an eternity.
To ANYONE who acted crazy on Black Friday – Seriously if one did this, they need to get a life. What is more important in life? Just one person’s opinion.
And?.that is it for the detentions! I did not really find out any of them worthy to be on this pathetic list. If you have a nomination, post them online at email@example.com. Thank in advance.
Mr. V’s Honor Roll for the week of November 23 – November 27, 2009
Quite a few matchups that earned the Honor spot, but here are my top three for the week.
Distinguished Honors – The American Wolves vs. The Young Bucks, ROH on HDNet, Nov. 23.
High Honors – John Cena vs. CM Punk, Monday Night Raw, Nov. 23.
Honors – Kurt Angle vs. D?Angelo Dinero, TNA Impact, Nov. 26.
Honorable Mention goes to: King vs. Albright on 11/23; Kofi vs. Ziggler on 11/23; HHH/Michaels vs. Smith/Kidd on 11/23, Breakthrough Battle Royal won by Sheamus on 11/23; Benjamin vs. Ryder on 11/24; R-Truth vs. Ziggler on 11/26; Wolfe vs. Suicide on 11/26; Lashley vs. Wolfe on 11/26; Roode vs. Angle on 11/26; Kidd/Smith vs. Gaspard/JTG on 11/27; Batista vs. Kane on 11/27; and Undertaker vs. Jericho on 11/27.
Worst Match of the Week – 6-Diva Tag Match on Monday Night Raw, Nov. 23
Dishonorable Mention go to: Brown vs. Rinauro on 11/23; Super Smash Bros. vs. Day/Kermon on 11/23; Orton vs. Bourne on 11/23; DiBiase/Rhodes vs. JTG/Gaspard; Archer vs. Reynolds on 11/24; Tatsu vs. Regal on 11/24; Kozlov vs. Goldust on 11/26; and Lashley vs. Abyss on 11/26.
Weekly TV Wars
Though Smackdown has clinched the #1 spot, there is still a debate as to who can clinch the #2. Still four more weeks to decide and your votes may make the difference. Place your pick for the show of the week by e-mailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
And now?The Best of for each show this past week.
ROH on HDNet (November 23)
Best Segment: Nigel McGuinness? last promo on ROH. It is a must listen!
Best Match: American Wolves vs. Young Bucks (Grade: A)
Monday Night Raw (November 23)
Best Segment: In my opinion, anything with Jesse Ventura was a win, but when he confronted Cena was really good.
Best Match: John Cena vs. CM Punk (Grade: B+)
ECW (November 24)
Best Segment: It may come off cheesy, but when Christian requested a ladder match with Shelton Benjamin after his match. I hope they do make history.
Best Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Zack Ryder (Grade: B)
WWE Superstars (November 26)
Best Segment: I will have to go with the Raw Rebound highlight package. I am not a fan of ?Ask the Divas?
Best Match: R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler (Grade: B-)
TNA Impact (November 26)
Best Segment: The segment involving AJ Styles and Daniels. You can actually feel the true emotion in this rivalry, something TNA has lacked in recent weeks.
Best Match: Kurt Angle vs. D?Angelo Dinero (Grade: B)
Friday Night Smackdown (November 27)
Best Segment: CM Punk’s introduction to Luke Gallows, as well as his ?just say no? campaign to buying Jeff Hardy’s DVD.
Best Match: The Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho (Grade: B-)
Students? Choice for the Show of the Week – By a vote of 4-2, Monday Night Raw (1 Point)
Mr. V’s Runner-up Show of the Week – TNA Impact (1 Point)
Mr. V’s Pick for Show of the Week – Monday Night Raw (2 Points)
This was an actual tough one for me to pick between the two. I give the edge to Monday Night Raw over Impact because Raw offered us something that they have not done in quite some time. That is bring back the announce team of Jesse Ventura and Vince McMahon.
In a wrestling standpoint, it would be tough between my top two. However, I went with what entertained me the most this week. Monday Night Raw clearly was a more entertaining show, and I credit most of it to the booking of Sheamus being the #1 contender and Jesse Ventura being the guest host.
1) Friday Night Smackdown (61 Points) **Clinched Best Show of 2009**
2) Monday Night Raw (46 Points)
3) TNA Impact (41 Points)
4) ECW (29 Points)
5) ROH on HDNet (12 Points)
6) WWE Superstars (1 Point)
Commentator Report Card
**I have renamed The Dunce Cap. It will be christened as ?The Awful Waffle?.**
Michael Cole: C+ (2009 Grade: D) **Current Leader of The Awful Waffle**
Jerry Lawler: C (2009 Grade: C-)
Josh Mathews: B+ (2009 Grade: B) **Dean’s List**
Byron Saxton: B (2009 Grade: B+) **Dean’s List**
Todd Grisham: A- (2009 Grade: B+) **Dean’s List**
Matt Striker: B+ (2009 Grade: A-) **Dean’s List**
Jim Ross: N/A (2009 Grade: A-) **Dean’s List** (Illness)
Mike Tenay: A (2009 Grade: B-)
Taz: B+ (2009 Grade: B) **Dean’s List**
Don West: N/A (2009 Grade: C-) (Now Amazing Red’s Manager)
Mike Hogewood: F (2009 Grade: C)
Dave Prazak: B+ (2009 Grade: B) **Dean’s List**
Vince McMahon: B+ – He was off a little bit, but he still showed everyone that he still go it as a commentator.
Jesse Ventura: A+ – He was just brilliant out there! From Guest Host to Commentator, it is tough to go against giving him an A.
Mister V’s Gold Star Segment!!! (By: JR’s Family Bar-B-Q!! Go to www.jrsbarbq.com for all your Christmas Shopping needs! I asked Santa Claus for a 6 Pack Powerslam Deal from JR’s Website. That would be six bottles of JR’s quality sauce, a koozie, AND an autographed photo from the man himself! Get some BBQ Sauce today!)
Plenty of Gold Stars to be presented, so let’s get to it!
To the fans that have voted in the 2009 Dream Bracket – I will shout all of you out now. The ballots I got right now were from Ricky Langston, Alpha Male, Rob James, Travis Thomas, Lucas Thomas, Paul Meade, Richard Misfeldt, Inferious0513, Rocky Jr., Jeremy Samples, Todd Godwin, Joshua Hlavka, Ben Phillips, Daniel Stein, Nir Goldstein, Michael Williamson, Luke Bartlett, Jesse Grams, and Sam Newsome.
To the Faculty who voted – You know who you all are. Much thanks to all of you for your continued support in my feature columns.
Jesse Ventura – For being one of the top three guest hosts on Monday Night Raw.
The Young Bucks – For making me a believer. No wonder why David Stephens picked them as a tag team of the half-year.
The American Wolves – They did have a tag title match on HDNet last week, and retained.
Michael Cole – I am in the Christmas mood, and you did get a C+ this past week. Go put that on the fridge, o? vintage one.
Dave Prazak – It seems like there are times in which he has to be play by play AND color commentator when doing ROH. I hope he got paid double for his efforts recently.
CM Punk – Your ability to cut promos this year is giving Chris Jericho a run for his money right now.
Jim Ross – I hope you health is getting better. My prayers go out to you.
The Hart Dynasty – I think these guys have really worked hard, and it showed last week in their two matches. Great work by you both!
Matt Striker – For doing a great impression of Jesse Ventura.
Kurt Angle – He was involved in a couple great matches this past week. Also, he did a great job continuing his story with Desmond Wolfe. It was a great showing for Angle
Desmond Wolfe – see above, but instead of ?Desmond Wolfe?, replace with ?Kurt Angle?.
Bobby Lashley – For earning a future #1 contender match for the TNA World Title!
Scott Steiner – Because he gets on in Hunter Golden’s words ?by principle?
Trey Dawg – He earned one for ending my winning streak in Fantasy Football in the Wrestling News Live League.
Adam Martin – For continuing to do what he is doing.
The commentary team of Taz and Tenay – This was their best showing all year. Give it a listen class.
To all my readers (aka students) – Thank you for your continued support. Hope we continue this loyalty throughout 2010 and beyond.
And now?.Mr. V’s First Letter to Vince McMahon (aka Letter to Santa #1)
Dear Santa McMahon,
I address you as Santa because you probably have you little elfs at Titan Towers look on sites like WrestleView and others to think of some new ideas (or I like to dream, can I?) I mean, JeriShow? That was the idea of a particular columnist on WrestleView.
Ok, back to my letter. Look, I know I get wordy with my letters. Ask anyone that has read my column and features along the way. They know I am wordy, but they also know that I have a mind for professional wrestling. Keep in mind that I WILL be owning one share of World Wrestling Entertainment in the near future. That is right! I will earn a $14 stake in the WWE now. Watch out! Just kidding, I hope all is well with you in the North Pole I would like to call Conneticut. But Santa, let’s get down to business. I know you are a busy man. You travel all over the world providing entertainment for the little boys, girls, PG crowd, and internet smarks and marks around the world.
I believed in the WWF/E since the days my father sat me down in the mid-80s watching various wrestling programming. I remember the man busted his @$$ working a couple jobs during Christmas just to get my brother and I the Hulk Hogan and Ultimate Warrior Wrestling Buddies when I was younger (of course I got the Ultimate Warrior). Outside of getting that bike and Super Nintendo, that was one of the best moments of my life! After purchasing toys, videos, and games throughout my almost thirty years of life, I now have a list to you that I hope will all come true. Don?t be Grinchy! I know you are a billionaire, Santa (or at least you say that on TV a lot as you perform a power walk).
So, here is my list. As a fan and a believer of pro wrestling, I would like you (or one of your elves) to read this. I am sure you could grant me one of those wishes.
1) Please on the TLC pay-per-view let Sheamus have a good showing against John Cena.
I am not looking for Sheamus to win the WWE Championship on his first shot. As a matter of fact, I am predicting Cena to defend the title because he is the closest thing to Superman in the WWE. All I ask is not for Cena to FU him, then get a table and slam him down in ninety seconds. Please allow Cena to help out Sheamus the way you let Christian help Yoshi Tatsu a month ago. Let them have a good, moderate-length match (possibly ten or so minutes). Please allow Sheamus a chance to show why he should be on the RAW roster, and don?t bury him right away.
2) Let Christian and Shelton Benjamin make history.
I don?t know if you remembered, but on one PPV ECW only got eight seconds of a PPV. Remember? When Christian beat William Regal? Of course you do, you are Santa! These are two men that have worked their butts off all year to get where they are at. You make Shelton a champion this year, but he has a losing record in 2009 (I have counted them up, my readers know about this). Also, Christian has carried this brand that you plan on blowing up and starting over anyway. So, why not let this be as extreme as possible and let this contest for the ECW Title steal the show? I don?t care who is booked the winner, I just don?t want the other men and women who purchase this to be disappointed. Everytime they were in a Ladder, Tables, Chairs, or even a Money in the Bank Match, they stepped up all the time! They stole the show each time! Now let’s see them do it once more. Please, let this happen.
and some wishes that I hope are granted within 2010??
3) That Jim Ross is welcomed back with open arms when he recovers.
I know some of my readers don?t like him, but I think wrestling in the WWE won?t be the same without the voice of Jim Ross. I actually dread the day in which he retires or is how you say ?future endeavored?. Everyone he works with turns out to be better than average. So please, when Jim Ross comes back give him a hero’s welcome? I am sure that he would appreciate that.
4) That we get someone other than Randy Orton, HHH, HBK, or Cena involved in a RAW Main Event PPV.
First off, I enjoy the abilities of each wrestler, but it just seemed like the RAW Roster is just featuring the same people and that is it! I think Sheamus is a great start, but I would like to see more of the ?younger talents? be brought in the spotlight.
Let me rundown the Main Events for the Raw PPVs in 2009, you may not know this but too much of something is never a good thing.
Royal Rumble for Raw’s World Title – John Cena beat. JBL (w/Shawn Michaels). Oh yeah, and Orton won the Royal Rumble over HHH.
No Way Out For Raw’s World Title – Edge (who entered himself) beat John Cena, Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho, Kane, and Mike Knox (how did he get in here).
WrestleMania 25 – Raw’s John Cena beat Edge and Big Show. Also, Raw’s Randy Orton lost to HHH.
Backlash – Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, and Ted DiBiase def. HHH, Shane McMahon, and Batista to win the World Title.
Judgment Day – Batista did beat Randy Orton, but it was by DQ.
Extreme Rules – Batista beat Randy Orton, though Batista was hurt and Orton ?destroyed his arm? the following night.
The Bash – Randy Orton beat HHH in the Three Stages of Heck (I don?t like to swear to Santa).
Night of Champions – Randy Orton beat John Cena and HHH to retain RAW’s World Title.
SummerSlam – Randy Orton beat John Cena to retain the title.
Breaking Point – John Cena beat Randy Orton to win the World Title.
He!l in a Cell – Randy Orton beat John Cena to win back the World Title.
Bragging Rights – John Cena beat Randy Orton to win back the World Title. (wow this is getting bad, tsk tsk).
Survivor Series – John Cena beat HHH and Shawn Michaels to retain the World Title.
TLC – John Cena vs. Sheamus.
So, maybe Shawn Michaels did not wrestle in many world title main events. But the bold does not lie and Cena was highlighted in a lot of world title bouts. I did not include Edge beating John Cena in backlash?but it is just way too much overexposure. I know, Santa, that you need them to succeed in the buy rates. But it does not hurt to help the younger guys that worked real hard for that spot. I am not including the Intercontinental or U.S. Title Matches, just for the Main Belts. So in 2010 Santa McMahon, I would like these guys to get push a bit more:
Jack Swagger – A mixture of power and speed, I know you can make him a top heel in the future. The background in amateur wrestling really works for him. Remember that you booked him against Cena in the WWE Draft Show? He was pretty impressive, huh?
Dolph Ziggler – Why isn?t he getting pushed? Because Rey Mysterio refused to drop the title to Ziggler? I think if anyone got the most out of their gimmick this year, it had to be Mr. Ziggles. Sure, his work may need a bit of a tune-up, but his dedication should merit an Intercontinental run sometime in 2010.
Kofi Kingston – Santa, you are doing a great job with Kofi Kingston. He is loved more by the students that I teach in the schools (you won?t believe how many kids like Kofi Kingston right now) than Cena surprisingly. So, when Randy Orton wins back the World Title, don?t forget what Orton did for Kingston please.
Bryan Danielson – Please don?t bury this guy. He is one of the top five technical wrestlers in the world today. Don?t forget.
The Miz – I hope when he drops the US Title that he won?t be punked out by Cena in every contest between the two.
John Morrison – I know he is a bit stalled right now, but if you motivate him a bit more you will get the most out of him. His finisher is one that I don?t think anyone can duplicate right now, so take advantage of this.
Evan Bourne – I think you powers-that-be in Connecticut put him on the wrong brand. You guys completely killed any momentum he had since you ?traded? him to RAW. Please put him in Smackdown and let him get into a couple feuds with guys his size. You won?t be disappointed.
There are sure to be more, but I just remembered this is a Letter to Santa, not an essay to Santa. If it was an essay, did I win a free candy cane or something?
5) That we bring back the Cruiserweight Championship back to the ECW or whatever you are going to call it brand.
It does give something for the smaller wrestlers to shoot for. I know that this title does not help many build a solid career (though didn?t Christian, Matt Hardy, and Rey Mysterio win that title a couple times). I just hate to remember that the last ?champion? happened to be Hornswoggle. I actually followed that title and was hoping that at least that title could be featured on the ECW brand in 2009. Look at the talent that you have on TV and in FCW that are less than 215 lbs. There is a lot of talent out there that would love a piece of a championship belt, and this one might have been their only chance.
So, when you are reading letters from all the little boys and girls around the world Santa McMahon, please think about the one I am sending to you right now. Not only will I thank you if a couple of these wishes come true, but some of my students will thank you as well. Until then, keep up the great work in trying to entertain the millions around that world that are still loyal to your product.
Merry Christmas Santa. I will make sure I place champagne and donuts?wait that is for Mrs. Santa Carter after she signed Hogan. Sorry! Can I erase that? It’s in pen? RATS!
Anyways, Merry Christmas Santa, I will make sure to place some cookies and grapefruits for you by the Christmas Tree.
Mr. Anthony J. Valvo
Columnist ?From the Desk of Mr. V?
WrestleView.com (I am sure again your elves read this)
Well, I hope that you do enjoy that letter students. As the old staying goes ?ask and you shall receive, right? Unless you write a mock letter to the most powerful man in pro wrestling.
Ok, time to close this up:
End of Classroom Announcements
First off I want to thank all of you for you suggestions. As of now I will add Parent Conferences and Prediction future outcomes of storylines in 2010. As for downsizing the column? Say goodbye to The Headlines and Classroom Rules portion by the end of 2009.
Also, the Commentator Report Card will now be a once a month feature. I do this because with six shows to watch and record, it is a pretty tough job. So I will pick a show out of random and grade it, then post them along the others. Changes are coming in 2010, and they will be quick.
Thanks to those again who voted in the Dream Tournament that we are working on. Mike Siciliano will be plugging the tournament this week on Pro Wrestling Rewind (big time thanks to you on this buddy), so I extended this until Monday in which I will announce the winners. Though I told the Faculty to not go in depth with the first round of voting, some students did. I will share what the students wrote down. So far, we have 27 columnists and students that completed a bracket. I thank you all!
NO HOMEWORK THIS WEEK!! (unless you did not complete your bracket).
First round for the tourney are as follows once more
The First Round Choices are as follows:
Chris Jericho (1) vs. Juventud Guerrera (32)
Drake Younger (16) vs. Shawn Michaels (17)
Austin Aries (8) vs. Evan Bourne (25)
John Cena (9) vs. Hernandez (24)
Ultimo Guerrero (4) vs. Homicide (29)
CM Punk (13) vs. Colt Cabana (20)
Christian (5) vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi (28)
Mistico (12) vs. CIMA (21)
Kurt Angle (3) vs. PAC (30)
Daniels (14) vs. HHH (19)
Shinsuke Nakamura (6) vs. The Undertaker (27)
Samoa Joe (11) vs. Jack Swagger (22)
AJ Styles (2) vs. Teddy Hart (31)
Dr. Wagner, Jr. (15) vs. Jushin Liger (18)
Randy Orton (7) vs. Davey Richards (26)
KENTA (10) vs. Paul London (23)
FINALLY, that sums up another edition From the Desk of Mr. V. As always, if you want to chat wrestling you can always go on FaceBook and ask me your questions (I am on there at least once a day). You can also e-mail your comments to my address at email@example.com. I am getting much better in responding to the e-mails, so drop me a line.
It is the end, and you know what that means. Time to push in your chairs, walk in a straight line, and exit your classroom door (more than likely your computer room or dormitory room). Until My Ring of Honor Recap, I bid you farewell! Thanks for reading and you are all officially?????DISMISSED!!
Look me up on Facebook under Anthony J. Valvo in the Pittsburgh Network
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Later ?From the Desk of Mr. V??.
-ROH Recap for 11/30
-Mr. V #45
– The 2009 ?Dream Tournament?
More work on my other site The Examiner (for a change)
Check out my recent Examiner articles! This week, I plan on presenting predictions for 2010 piece! Heck, you can even subscribe to my articles! Help me earn a little bit more cash by just going to the link, please.
If not for the students, there would be no Mr. V. Thanks for Reading.