Hello class! Once again I welcome you to the classroom for yet another week. We have a lot to discuss today. I have a couple of rules that must be addressed for the below-average wrestling fan. Also we have some new names to go to detention, some matches will be praised, and Gold Stars will be awarded. So, grab a chair and have a seat. Ease the mind; we have a lot to cover today From the Desk of Mr. V.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
?Genius is 10% inspiration; 90% perspiration.?
– Thomas Edison
I came across this quote earlier this week and I thought it would be a great quote this week. Sure, anyone out there wants to be inspired by an individual who already made a statement in their line of work. Some wrestlers out there want to be the next Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, or Bret Hart. What separate these pro superstars are the ones that want it more. The ones that won?t give in on temptations, but the ones who persevere to become the best. I can think of a few superstars that will do anything to be in a main event or a champion. Some will sweat it out and work their hardest to reach that level. Some just think it will be handed to then and are only led by inspiration. In everyday life class, you have to work harder to accomplish your goals rather than be inspired. Think about that one for a moment.
91) Don?t giggle to your significant other right after touching a wrestler’s bicep.
Alright, so I am watching Smackdown last Friday (and not a good one by the way) and we got our usual R-Truth’s ?What’s Up?? Entrance. I don?t know if any of the student caught this, but while he is walking down the steps at Tulsa, a random woman just touches R-Truth’s muscle and giggles. Congratulations, lady?.you made a fool out of yourself!
I would understand if it was a kid that would do that, but not a grown adult. Adults need to know their boundaries. Saying What’s Up when Truth gives it to you is ok (and anyone that forgets what to say in the mic goes into automatic detention). But when he does not address you, don?t be na?ve and grab the muscle. That is all.
92) Make sure when holding a wrestling sign that it is right-side-up.
I caught many an exuberant fan doing this on TNA and WWE. I know you want that ?Austin 3:16? sign high up in the air. But please when you do this, look at the sign before you raised it above your head. If it is still upside down, turn it over and then start screaming like a teenage girl at a Jonas Brothers concert. One will never know how foolish they can be when it is upside down (as if the average wrestling fan would do a headstand just to see how Batista is truly an animal).
93) Hell in a Cell does not cripple careers. It elevates them.
Why on earth does Michael Cole say that the cell can cripple one’s career (probably Vince asked him politely)? He must have said that at least five times. Sure, it has the potential to do so; I get that. But when you complete one of those matches, your career is elevated, not destroyed. I look at the names that have wrestling in this structure and they come out of it looking like a million bucks. The only wrestler whose career was in jeopardy in that structure was Mick Foley. And we all know what happened after that fateful night in Pittsburgh, right? He stock took off in a heartbeat! Championships were won. As a matter of fact, I counted 22 superstars ever competed in this match (ok I included CM Punk, Cena, and Legacy so in reality if you read this before Sunday it was 18). Guess how many of those 18 (or 22) have been a World Champion? Rather, the question should be who has ?yet? to win a World Title. The only wrestlers to have competed in Hell in a Cell and never won the world title are Rikishi (IC Champ), Big Boss Man (RIP), Shane McMahon (remember Vince was a World Champ), Cody Rhodes, and Ted DiBiase, Jr. In all due respect, this ultimate gimmick match does not destroy careers. It builds them up. Out of all of them, the only wrestler I saw not get a big push after this was Big Boss Man (though he was in terrible gimmicks like the one he had with The Big Show).
There will not be too many headlines this week, as I do have a special announcement to present.
Headline #1 – WWE Creative not loving Hell in a Cell.
Mr. V’s Take: Look, I know those people have a hard job to do. They create the match, they book the match, the come up with an ending. Seeing that there are seven matches on the card (with three being hell in a cell), I would be bitter if I was them as well. The wrestlers want blood, but thanks to the PG rating, it is not going to happen. In those kind of contests, then you have to have a little bit of blood.
I don?t get the WWE sometimes. Here is why. They promote the PG rating, yet look at the commercials that are on RAW and ECW. I counted two ?M? rated video games and at least one ?R? rated movie. So, if they are truly ?family-friendly??do you think they can tone down the commercials. I know many of you like Halo. But do we really need five Halo commercials in two hours?
I don?t know which side to take here. If they were in the meetings and knew about the situation, it is a different story. Vince wants something done, then one who works for him must accomplish it. Creative can gripe all they want, but they have to think that they are doing this for not only Vince and the board at WWE. But they also have to make this a solid Pay Per View for the fans that are going to pony up $40 to see this. So creative, figure it out instead of griping to these ?wrestling insiders?. Get it done and let’s have a good show.
Headline #2 – Eddie Edwards suffers an injury at a Ring of Honor show.
If you have not followed up on this story, here it is. Eddie Edwards worked a match in Boston when he suddenly broke his elbow in a match the day before Ladder War 2. Did he give up? NO! He taped it up and competed in one of the more grueling matches and came out the winner! As Mr. Siciliano stated ?Eddie Edwards deserved a Purple Heart?. I am surprised about this and it tells you how much respect you can give a guy like Edwards. I would say 95-99% of pro wrestlers out there would pack it in and sit out for a few months. Edwards did not. And put on an amazing effort. I for one applaud his work and I pray for a speedy recovery after he had surgery to repair the broken elbow.
Now for the???..SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!
Last week, since I write a lot of notes on each TV wrestling show I noticed that my colleague and good friend Josh Boutwell was ill and could not do the report for TNA Impact. I offered my assistance to Josh and Adam, but after a few e-mails we thought it was ok to just provide the viewers with the results. Adam Martin (Go Hawkeyes!) offered me a spot to write recaps for another show since he is a busy man (I believe it! Look at what he has to do with the site and radio network). I told him though I can?t catch the show on Mondays (Pittsburgh does not have the network the show was on), I will give him the recaps on Fridays when I watch them on YouTube. Since Adam was fine with it, I am honored to say that I will be the NEW RECAPPER FOR RING OF HONOR ON HDNET!
I now get to join a group which I consider the best in doing recaps in Hunter Golden (RAW), David Stephens (ECW), Josh Boutwell (TNA), and last but not least, Mike Tedesco (Superstars and Smackdown). Students, if you do not already do this I say go and check these recaps out each week! They are crisp, in-depth, and an enjoyable read. I am happy to be a part of this elite group of recappers and I will do my best to impress them as well as the fans of Ring of Honor.
I will do my best to give my readers my best, as I do for this column. I will be honest (I won?t be a ROH mark that gives squash matches a three star rating, as I seen one already do that). I will give you my ups and downs. So every Friday or Saturday, check out WrestleView.com for the latest ROH on HDNet episodes. Thank you in advance to those will check it out.
The following people (or events) have been sent to detention because of Mr. V and his students.
Taker/Teddy Segment – Though I was ok with the segment, it was nominated by Mr. V’s loyal student Evan O?Brien. He called it cheesy and cartoony. After watching this again since WWE does not forbid Hulu to broadcast The Blue Brand, he has a point.
WWE Divas – Wow, I don?t know what is going on here but Michelle McCool and Mickie James are not really good champs right now. Is it just me, or is Mickie really stuggling against her opponents recently.
Eddie Kingston – Mike Siciliano (Pro’s From the Palace) saw the big ROH show and stated that Eddie was terrible in the ring. That is good enough for him to be in this week.
Kevin Nash – See what this Big Sexy Tour gets you? A taser shot right below the belt by Dr. Stevie. Which reminds me?..
Dr. Stevie – You need to get a new taser. That one you have smokes quite a bit.
Mick Foley – Seriously? You almost kill someone just because they destroyed a picture of Jeremy Borash? Abyss should be getting a gold star for that one!
Rhino – Quit being a little baby and make amends.
?Slap The Porpoise? – I still hate that catchphrase. But hey, it is better than anything Mike Adamle said.
Slam Master J. – The gimmick is getting pretty bad. Almost one of Pretty Ricky proportions.
Michael Cole – For botching your lines on quite a few occasions and looking up more words that begin with the letter ?V?.
Traci Brooks – If anyone out there thought those pictures were delicious, then you must have had too many of those Woodchuck Cider drinks (www.woodchuck.com, must be 21 to log in). Now I know why they refused to put those pictures on paper. Per my friends Anthony and Kevin?.?Aged Gouda?.
The following have been inducted into Eternal Detention until further notice?.
Jeremy Borash – You are like that zit and a teenage guy’s face the day of the prom. No one wants you there. Oh, and smoking while interrogating wrestling about that picture, what a joke. If you want teenagers to quit smoking, show them the clip in which you hear Borash’s voice with the cigarette in his hand. That would make even my brother quit.
Cody Deaner – Last week you are on here. Get out and re-tool your gimmick.
Rhaka Khan – Just because I will place you on here.
Pittsburgh Pirates – three more losses until we get to 100 for the year.
Pittsburgh Steelers O-Line – Seriously if JeriShow storm into the ring and the O-Line has to block them, my beloved Steelers might have to find a new franchise QB.
Rob Terry – He needs an education.
Jenna Morasca – She needs to read what she is saying. She is a walking, talking contradiction each time she is in an interview.
ETS and The Praxis Series – Almost forgot about them.
Declaration of Independents Message Board- This was nominated by David Stephens. Please check out ?That’s A Wrap? for more analysis on this subject.
And of course this portion is yours as well. If you have a nomination for one of these lists (Detention or Eternal), please e-mail me at email@example.com. The hotmail account is the one I check more, so try and send them there. Thank You!
MISTER V?S HONOR ROLL FOR THE WEEK OF SEPT. 21 – SEPT. 25, 2009
Though sometimes the storylines were not that well-executed, we have some great matches for the wrestling minds this past week. At least one match on each show got a ?B or B-? grade. Like most weeks, it was difficult for me to provide a top three for the week, so here it goes class. Prepare to be amused.
Distinguished Honors – Christian vs. Zack Ryder, ECW, September 22.
Probably one of the better back and forth matches of the year. Other than Crelly, did anything think that Zack Ryder was going to win this match? I did not think so either. Still, this was a great main event that ECW provided the viewers and the fans in Tulsa, OK. Also, the match had many different styles of wrestling and both performed them very well. I think Ryder came out as a formidable contender for the ECW Title. Sure, everything is quite not there yet. But you can?t compare anyone’s style of wrestling or the charisma to Christian on that brand at this time.
Move of the Match: Though all were pretty fundamental, Zack Ryder’s Rough Rider Legdrop.
High Honors – Bryan Danielson/KENTA/Roderick Strong vs. American Wolves/Chris Hero, ROH on HDNet, September 21.
The start of the match was very strategic, as everyone got in their basic moves. A few points have been tacked off because toward the end of the match, it got way too spotty. There was a ton of no-selling, which now is starting to bother me a bit (earlier this year it did not). All wrestled fantastic, but I thought the one that stood out was Roderick Strong. If this guy has some charisma, he could be a top tier guy for ROH (and possibly other promotions). If this was Danielson’s last match on HDNet, then he hit it out of the park tonight.
Move of the Match: There were a lot of spots that were done right, but I am going to pick the Super Belly-to-Back Suplex executed well by Bryan Danielson in the closing moments of the match.
Honors – Yoshi Tatsu vs. Paul Birchill, ECW, September 22.
Wow, has Tatsu impressed as of late or what? This match was fantastic from start to finish! All styles of wrestling were shown (high flying/kicking by Tatsu and the brawling/technical styles by Birchill). They worked a strong program together, but we all knew who was going to win, right? Paul Birchill needs to win sometime this year, as my Power Rankings has him down for only four wins this year. Overall, I thought that Yoshi and Paul had their best matches of the year respectively.
Move of the Match: The ending to the match. Yoshi’s Karate Kick to close this contest.
Honorable Mention goes to: HHH vs. Cody on 9/21; Orton/JeriShow vs. Cena/Henry/MVP on 9/21; Masters vs. Primo on 9/24; Matt Hardy vs. Kane on 9/24; Suicide vs. Dinero on 9/24; Joe vs. Daniels vs. Homicide on 9/24; Morrison/Finlay vs. Ziggler/Knox on 9/25; and CM Punk vs. Taker on 9/25
WORST MATCH OF THE WEEK: Kane vs. Slam Master J, Friday Night Smackdown, September 25.
Seriously?.can they do something better for Kane? Also, maybe ?J? can wrestle. But he just looks like a goof.
Dishonorable Mention goes to: Erick Stevens vs. Day on 9/21; Mickie vs. Beth on 9/21; Kofi vs. Swagger on 9/21; Cedric vs. Chavo on 9/21; Koz/Zeke vs. 2 Jobbers on 9/22; McCool/Layla on 9/24; Rhino vs. D-Von on 9/24; Jethro vs. Lashley on 9/24; Booker/Scott vs. Foley/Abyss on 9/24; Batista vs. Big Show on 9/25, and JTG vs. DH Smith on 9/25.
WEEKLY TV WARS
This is the portion where I will tell you the two (or three if a tie) best things that happened on each program. After the brief overview, I will give you my top two shows and the student’s choice. This portion is interactive and if you want to provide me with your pick for a favorite show, e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
ROH on HDNet (September 21)
Best Segment: Austin Aries? Lucky Lottery Promo and Drawing
Best Match: Bryan Danielson/KENTA/Roderick Strong vs. American Wolves/Chris Hero
Monday Night RAW (September 23)
Best Segment: Cena and Orton’s Contract Signing (though I wanted to say Lillian’s Farewell, I will miss her)
Best Match: HHH vs. Cody Rhodes
ECW (September 22)
Best Segment: Abe Washington/Tony Atlas show w/Sheamus and Shelton
Best Match: Christian vs. Zack Ryder
WWE Superstars (September 24)
Best Segement: Hell in a Cell Promo featuring John Cena and Randy Orton
Best Match: Primo vs. Chris Masters
TNA Impact! (September 24)
Best Segment: The surprise of the week: Alissa Flash destroying Hamada.
Best Match: Suicide vs. D?Angelo Dinero
Friday Night Smackdown (Septmber 25)
Best Segment: CM Punk’s opening segment with Teddy Long may be a bit too silly, but it does add a little bit more to the storyline.
Best Match: John Morrison/Finlay vs. Mike Knox/Dolph Ziggler
Students? Choice: By a 3-2 vote, ECW was the student’s choice this week.
Mr. V’s #2 Show – ROH on HDNet
Once again, Ring of Honor gets the second best show pick because of some decent segments and solid wrestling. I can only think the addition of Jim Cornette will be a positive effect on everything involving ROH. Austin Aries is a perfect fit still as ROH champion. He had a great segment with his Lucky Lottery (though I wish the Big Bird Hat won) and we also got a couple of promos to boot. The matches on the card were done well. Austin Aries and Grizzly Redwood was not as bad of a match as many thought and what I really enjoyed was what might be Danielson’s last ROH match on HDNet.
Mr. V’s #1 Show – ECW
The show this past week was almost perfect from the Abe Washington Show to the ECW Title Match. Perhaps the Title match on the 22nd was the reason why ECW will not be represented at Hell in a Cell. I was real impressed with the way Sheamus acted this past week. Also, did you see the outfit? It was perfect! Other than your usually Kozlov/Zeke squash, the two matches were excellent. Yoshi Tatsu has come a long way and has the potential of staying on the main roster for years to come. Birchill is nothing more than enhancement talent now, and that is a shame because a few years back he was really over as a pirate. The ECW Title Match with Zack Ryder and Christian was by far the best of the week. It had it all and outside of John Morrison vs. Evan Bourne, this could be the best match on ECW.
Cliff Notes (for those who want the easy way out)
Students? Choice: ECW (1 Point)
Runner-Up Show of the Week: ROH on HDNet (1 Point)
Best Show of the Week: ECW (2 Points)
1) Friday Night Smackdown (52 Points)
2) Monday Night Raw (35 Points)
3) TNA Impact (34 Points)
4) ECW (22 Points)
5) ROH on HDNet (10 Points)
6) WWE Superstars (1 Point)
As always, you can vote for your pick for Show of the Week by sending me an e-mail at email@example.com. Who knows, your pick might help a TV Show overtake another (i.e. Impact can very well be ahead of RAW next week).
Commentator Report Card (Presented By: JR’s Family Bar-B-Q. Mr. V knows good BBQ, and JR is King (no pun intended) of the BBQ. Try his 6 Pack Powerslam ($54 value) for the very fair price of $24.88. Students, that is exactly $29.12 off of the restaurant price! And if you live in the U.S.A. the shipping is free! Look, My birthday is less than two weeks away and I will be spending some of that good birthday money on JR’s products. You should too!)
Another quick week of grades, so here we go!
Michael Cole: C (2009 Grade: D) **Current Leader of The Dunce Cap**
Jerry Lawler: B- (2009 Grade: C+)
Josh Mathews: A+ (2009 Grade: A-) **Dean’s List**
Matt Striker: A+ (2009 Grade: A) **Dean’s List**
Todd Grisham: B- (2009 Grade: B) **Dean’s List**
Jim Ross: B (2009 Grade: A-) **Dean’s List**
Mike Tenay: C (2009 Grade: C+)
Taz: C- (2009 Grade: C)
Mike Hogewood: D+ (2009 Grade: C-)
Dave Prazak: C+ (2009 Grade: B-)
THE MR. V-APPROVED GOLD STAR SEGMENT!
Once again, so many gold stars shall be awarded once again. Here are the winners of this week’s gold stars
Zac Clark – For guessing correctly what my special announcement was going to be.
ECW’s Announce Team – Another stellar performance on Sept. 22nd. Well done.
Justin Roberts – It looks like he is replacing Lillian Garcia for the time being. He has done a great job for ECW and Smackdown. So this was a solid fit for him.
Bryan Danielson and Nigel McGuinness – Best of luck in the WWE for these two former ROH Champions.
Eddie Edwards – For competing (and winning) with a broken elbow.
Chris Jericho and Big Show – for defending your WWE Tag Team Titles
American Wolves – STILL your ROH Tag Champions.
Austin Aries – STILL your ROH World Champion after defeating a returning Petey Williams.
Petey Williams – Welcome to ROH.
Christian – STILL ECW Champion after a brilliant performance.
Zack Ryder – Though you may have lost, your gimmick still wins the hearts of many fans?You know it.
Skillet – They get one for just giving the WWE a GREAT song for Hell in a Cell. I am a HUGE panhead (what they call Skillet fans) since 1999. They have come a long way and it is just awesome now that this is happening for them.
John Morrison and Dolph Ziggler – You got your PPV match, now tear the roof off the place.
All the readers that have sent in their homework assignment – One more week until we provide the readers with the top 20 theme songs!
Ed O?Neil – Modern Family is a hit, and he is the real reason for its success. As Al Bundy, he was so much better. Hey cronies in the WWE (I know you read this column), why not put Al Bundy in as RAW GM? I got all year and I will be promoting this.
Ben Roethlisberger – Our next RAW GM!!! I hear the O-Line is there to protect him. I bet anyone a gold star that Show just takes him out because even if it is staged, the Steelers Line can?t protect him. And NO, I did not need spell check to correctly spell his name.
Mike Siciliano – Though you had some critics out there, I thought that your columns recently were pretty good.
Jose Marrero – If I had to pick a column of the week (pardon me Mr. Stephens), his would be it. It was excellent.
So, you have what it takes to earn a gold star? Let me know and perhaps you too can be on the charts! Best of luck
HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT (WILL BE DUE THIS WEEKEND)
As of now, I am very close of meeting my goal of fifteen different votes. If any staff member or student of WrestleView would like to complete this homework, please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. If I get fifteen before Friday, I will provide you all with the top 20 wrestling theme songs (hopefully with youtube clips). So, for the last time, here are the two questions I asked from Column #33
First Question: We all know that Trish Stratus was the guest host for Monday Night Raw last Monday. However, she came out with a new hair color (brunette). Most of the wrestling student body remembers her talented in-ring work as a blonde. So class, here is the first question?..
Does Trish Stratus look better as a blonde or brunette?
Second Question: Some wrestlers have some great theme music. From ?Oh Radio? to ?The Final Countdown? I am asking you to do the following students?.
Pick your top five wrestling theme songs of all time.
This one is important. I must have at least fifteen students to come up with their answers. The more the merrier. You can give me an explanation, but you don?t have to. The higher the ranking the more points it will get.
#1 song – 5 points
#2 song – 4 points
#3 song – 3 points
#4 song – 2 points
#5 song – 1 point
They can be from any genre (Classic WWF, WCW, TNA, WWE, ROH, whatever), as long as it has been played for a wrestler. I will compose the overall list in a small special edition (with youtube clips of course).
Mr. V’s EXTRA NEWS
Current Standings From the Predictions From the Faculty Game
**As of TNA’s No Surrender**
1) Joe Baiamonte (Baiamonte’s Casa)?????????……..81-50 (5-3)
2) Josh Boutwell (Viva La Raza and TNA Recapper)…???79-52 (8-0)
3) Jose Marrero (Wrestling Rumblings)?????????..??76-55 (7-1)
4) WrestleView Students (The Loyal Readers)???????.76-55 (7-1)
5) David Stephens (That’s a Wrap and ECW Recapper)??75-56 (7-1)
6) Josh Piedra (The Shoot)???????????????????69-42 (7-1)
7) Anthony Valvo (From the Desk of Mr. V)?????????68-63 (6-2)
8) Mike Siciliano (Pro’s From the Palace)???????……..65-40 (8-0)
9) Matt O?Brien (Notes From The Nosebleeds)???????.62-46 (0-0)
10) Phil Chroniger (On Second Thought..)??????????..54-50 (0-0)
11) Doug Lackey (Reality From Ringside)???????????.51-45 (5-3)
12) Sean Hurley (The Sharpshooter)??????????????.48-36 (3-5)
13) Chris Kelly (King of All Wrestling Media)?????????..49-32 (6-2)
14) Mike Tedesco (Smackdown and Superstars Recapper)?.24-14 (0-0)
15) Mike Klubnik (Stylin? and Profilin?)?????????????..14-12 (0-0)
16) Ryan Droste (Ask WV)?????????????????????.4-4 (0-0)
Dave Stephens actually went 7-1 last week. I made an error and it is now corrected
Ultimate Power Rankings (as of 9/25)
Occasionally, I will provide a top three if the week was slow. Please see the Ultimate Rankings Column (posted on 9/24)
Link for Power Rankings:
1) Kevin Steen 2) Eddie Edwards 3) Delirious
1) Scott Steiner 2) AJ Styles 3) Robert Roode
1) Chris Jericho 2) John Morrison 3) CM Punk
Well, that sums up another edition From the Desk of Mr. V. As always, if you want to chat wrestling you can always go on FaceBook and ask me your questions (I am on there at least once a day). You can also e-mail your comments to my address at email@example.com.
It is the end, and you know what that means. Time to push in your chairs, walk in a straight line, and exit your classroom door (more than likely your computer room or dormitory room). Until The Predictions for Hell in a Cell, I bid you good tidings and cheer! Thanks for reading and you are all officially?????DISMISSED!!
Look me up on Facebook under Anthony J. Valvo in the Pittsburgh Network
Mr. V does neither Twitter nor MySpace
And as always, if not for the students there would be no Mr. V. Thanks again for reading this lengthy column.