Well, Good Thursday to you all once again. Welcome to the thirtieth installment of my column. In case you don?t know who I am, I am Anthony J. Valvo and I say welcome. Welcome to what many people call one of their favorite columns in professional wrestling. If you believe that, I thank you. If not, then I will do my best to continue your interest in professional wrestling.
This is the last column in which we will have the summer vacation format. It’s been a great time having the readers (or as I call them students) provide some classroom rules. It was a treat to read each one and I do have a few more rules presented by you the students. Also, this may be my last week of providing headlines. I may do one or two that catch my eye next week, but who knows. Wrestling can be un-newsworthy for extensive periods of time and why should I really type a long column if nothing really happened. However, I will still provide you what I thought were the best and worst over the course of the last few days.
So relax, enjoy this last week of summer vacation. It only becomes more challenging starting next week!
Before I start off with the weekly quote, I will say that one thing will change this week?my e-mail account. Yahoo Mail, dare I say, has been dreadful. It freezes up every other day for me and that is why I have not had the chance to e-mail a few of my loyal readers, so with that I have (how Howard Finkel calls it) a NEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW E-mail Address! So behold?my new e-mail address
In simple terms, same name?different account. Instead of it being Yahoo, it will now be Hotmail.com. I will continue to use the Yahoo! e-mail for a couple more weeks, but I do ask the students to try their best to e-mail me using Hotmail. It will be much easier for me to e-mail you back if you go that route. Thanks in advance.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“Dusty Rhodes wouldn’t win a body building contest for best abs, MacMahon, he’d win for MOST abs.”
– Jesse ?The Body? Ventura
Just a humorous quote that caught my eye by one of my favorites as both a wrestlers AND a commentator. I really enjoyed Ventura’s commentary when he called matches featuring a ?face? Macho Man. Ok, let’s get to the classroom rules?
81) Don’t pull the new #1 contender for a supposed world title out of your backside. (From Daniel Wood)
Student Explanation: I love the ECW show because it allows young and unproven talent to well… grow up and prove themselves. What I don’t like is two weeks before a PPV a new #1 contender is announced without having proven themselves properly (with all due respect to Regal who is a tough, amazing technical wrestler, he’s barely won any matches since he got to ECW, at least not compared to the rest of the locker room). Worse yet, this isn’t even announced by the GM of the show. Even worse still, it isn’t even announced by a wrestler.
Abraham Washington suddenly cuts half way through the show to inform Christian that the new #1 contender to his championship will be Regal. No deciding match, no talent evaluation… not even a crappy battle royal. Worse still, he now has Koslov and Jackson on his side (I was actually looking forward to a match between those two – don’t ask me why) and they are now, without any prior explanation, his lackeys. Despite the fact that if you halved either of their wins and Regal still wouldn’t tickle their jobber kill-count since their ECW debuts, they are happy to be his grunts for no reason. Why haven’t either of them gone to Tiffany to complain that they should have been the #1 contender/s? That’s a mystery for the ECW booking team to create an inventive answer to.
Mr. V’s Take: I was actually kind of happy to see Regal get the title shot. ECW is slowly becoming a better show once again, and Regal is the one you may want to push as a heel to possibly capture the ECW Title. With that said I think that Tiffany should have announced it or even have a #1 contender’s title match between Regal and maybe Tommy Dreamer.
I like the fact that Kozlov and Jackson are his ?lackeys? right now. While originally I thought Kozlov had a strong push on Smackdown in the singles? division, his lack of mic skills got him where he is at now. I am still not sold on Ezekiel Jackson, he still needs seasoning. So both of them with Regal is fine in my book.
Back to Regal (or Bill as Christian eloquently mentioned 8/25), I am scanning the heels and he is the most established heel in ECW. I am running down the list, and the heels are either too young (Sheamus), too goofy (Ryder), or will never get a shot (Birchill). We can include Shelton Benjamin, but he might be turning face here soon (stay tuned on that one). So among heels in ECW, Regal is the most logical choice to battle Christian. Even though it came from the backside as you call it, is there really anyone else that is a heel and once a top guy in that ECW brand?
82) Don’t live in a bubble. (From Luke, aka Bond7)
Student Explanation: Watching Impact this past week, with all the members of the Main Event Mafia in the ring wearing gold, you could see that this was what TNA management had in mind for awhile now. The storylines had been building for the Mafia to wear all the belts and have total dominance over all the title scenes, and now all their planning has come to fruition. All this is happening while the TNA World Champion is in very hot water with the law, and by all measures of common sense should have his title stripped away from him at the least. But no, TNA, in their all their sheltered wisdom, went full steam ahead with their Mafia dominance storyline no matter what. Nevermind what TNA ought to do with Kurt Angle, they’ve got a show to run. And nobody can tell them otherwise. Pay no mind to common decency; keep putting Angle on TV like nothing ever happened. Besides, if they stripped him of his title and took him off TV for a length of time to get him help or let him take care of all his problems then they’d have to come up with an excuse to explain it to the fans, and that’d just be too much work for creative. Seriously, TNA management’s so bullheaded with what their agenda is they make the Bush administration seem diplomatic.
Mr. V’s Take: Wow, comparing TNA to the Bush administration? Well, I won?t open that can of worms since I refuse to talk politics to my students anymore. Now I do agree with what Luke is saying here. These legal issues are really serious for Kurt if he was in jail for nine hours before Hard Justice. He can cry all he wants on my news stations, but it is really not gaining any fans here. If Jeff Jarrett is on the outs because he invited all the Angle family (sans Kurt), then Kurt should be suspended and relinquished the title. That is not the focus of this rule.
The rule should be this: Please address your situation properly. I don?t think TNA did this. Kurt Angle is the face of the company. TNA is built right now around this guy. If he dropped the title, then TNA would have to rush storylines and such. Perhaps they should have done it for the well-being of Angle.
TNA wants ratings, no matter what cost right now. Sadly, the Main Event Mafia (in TNA’s eyes) is the ones to boost those ratings. That is why they are in a bubble right now, not allowing their employees to talk about Angle (yet are allowed to rip Jarrett). At least do one of those dubious ?press releases? handling the situation. Did TNA do this? No?.and they should have issued something. Instead, they are living in that bubble and thinking this will be ignored. That is a huge problem and (though I am no expert) could cause quite a stir in the TNA locker room.
83) If TNA’s thinking of putting together another show on Spike, give it to the Knockouts, not the X-division. (From Luke aka Bond7)
Student Explanation: For weeks now I’ve been hearing about Spike and TNA maybe making plans for another TNA show somewhere on the schedule, and that it’d probably be an all X-division show. Why? As soon as I heard that the Knockouts are going to have tag team titles as well as the Knockouts title I realized that they were the ones who deserved their own show. Let’s face it, a lot of times the Knockout division has been the saving grace for an otherwise dismal episode of Impact, and they sometimes devote two matches on the show to them. I know the X-division has been sagging, but if they got their own show wouldn’t that kinda be an admission of that weakness, like the X-division couldn’t cut it on Impact so Spike’s gonna throw them a bone and give them their own show just to help them out. Give the Knockouts their own show, and that’ll free up some more time to build the X-division back up on Impact, where they belong.
Mr. V’s Take: Ok, I agree to this suggestion’somewhat. I think the one advantage TNA has right now is their depth in the Women’s Division. For the most part, the women have a ton of credentials and deserve to be acknowleged for their hard work in TNA. Also, TNA was that alternative from the WWE because of their X Division (which has been losing steam for more than a year now). TNA now want to produce a second show featuring the X Division. That is fine as well, but what need is a blend of both.
TNA’s second show should be like WWE Superstars. Instead of three ?brands?, emphasize on three ?divisions?. The Superstars format usually features a match with RAW, Smackdown, and ECW rosters.
So, here is what TNA should do if they could get a second show. TNA should book on this show one tag team match, one X-Division match, and one Knockout’s match. If they dominate it one way or the other, the show probably will do poorly. The three divisions make TNA worth watching some of the time. Their X Division back in the day was something I never seen before, let show some of that again. The Tag Team Division is the best in the world right now. I already mentioned the Knockout’s, and I think featuring them in one match would be brilliant. Also, NO STORYLINES!!! Save that for your two hour show, not the one hour show. If they did segments on this second show, then there would be only eight minutes of wrestling (give or take a couple minutes). Hopefully this rule does get enforced in all reality, but TNA should focus on IMPACT first. If it can consistently hit a 2.0 – 2.3 in the ratings, then a second show should be picked up.
84) Don’t have your talent claim something that is not true. (From Michael Fox)
Student Explanation: I think this rule is applicable because of the statement that Tara made when she claimed that WWE would have never thought to do the Tag Team Women’s (Knockout) title. After hearing this something seemed off, I then watched a classic WWE Survivor Series (1987) and in the ladies elimination match. It was clearly announced The WWE Ladies Tag Team Champions The Glamour Girls. While WWE were not the originators the titles were owned by WWE prior to pulling out of the NWA and were introduced in the WWE in 1983.
Mr. V’s Take: Poor Victoria?TNA probably made her say that. This further explains how TNA is at times bush league. They take shots at the WWE and do not research their information. Seriously, I think some of my readers should be wrestling historians for TNA.
Mr. Fox, please let TNA know this too. They may have the likes of Cornette still working there, but the need to hire some people that can do their homework. Seriously to TNA: follow this rule from this moment forward. The wrestling community may have a ton of these ?marks? and ?annoying crying babies over Jeff Hardy’s loss?, but there is a fraction that should be labeled ?not dumb?. The WV Faculty and the Students that follow us know our stuff. Do your homework next time TNA or else be publicly humiliated for your feeblemindedness.
85) If you’re going to copy a WWE storyline, don’t copy one of the dumbest ones they’ve had in years. (From Luke aka Bond7)
Student Explanation: Couldn’t get enough of Santino Marella and his transvestite pursuits of a women’s title? Well, you’re in luck, because TNA has seen fit to give new life into that with Cody Deaner and his claim to the Knockouts title. It seems “The Deaner” is even willing to put his relationship with his butch, rugged girlfriend at risk (side note: Beth Phoenix is much, much more attractive than ODB). Seriously, haven’t we already gone through this? All I’m saying is that if Deaner ever comes out to the ring in a dress, then whoever in TNA came up with the idea for this stupid storyline will have succeeded in his plot to make the entire TNA audience sterile.
Mr. V’s Take: It is right to compare Deaner to Santina. They are both actual men to have women’s titles (Deaner has the Knockout’s Title and Santina has the Miss WrestleMania banner) and this is actually a sad thing.
I am sorry, but I never got into the Cody Deaner stuff. He wins this ?contest? to win a date with ODB, he trains by lifting spittoons and chasing chickens (I?m not sure). At least Santina, I mean Santino can be funny at times on the mic. At least he had proper training in the ring. I know Cody is probably better than what he appears, but this gimmick has to go. This storyline has to go. The Knockout’s are one of the divisions that TNA should not make a joke. Guess what, they did just that right now.
Well, that sums it up for the classroom rules by the students. I hope you all enjoyed your summer..NOW GET BACK TO CLASS!!!
On a serious note, I think I am going to take a backseat on the rules for a couple weeks, just to soak in these first few weeks of the new school year. If you do not see any rules next week, my apologies.
I can only think of two headlines this week. Both actually involving the WWE. So let’s get to them, shall we?
Headline #1: SummerSlam is at an end…
I thought from reading Adam Martin’s recap that it was a good show. It was definitely something to spend forty dollars on if you had the money to do so. Most of the matches were booked well. I watched some of the highlights a day or two ago and I can say it looked pretty good. The TLC Match looked good and CM Punk is your new champ once again. We also saw Kane come out on top, The JeriShow rolling on, MVP finally winning clean, Christian beating Regal in 8 seconds (an ideal time for a bull ride, but not a match), Cena getting robbed by another DiBiase, and Rey putting on a superb match with Ziggler.
We also got to see Degeneration X defeat yet another young tag team, Legacy. Though I am not a big fan of DX, I am glad they all put on a show that was pretty back and forth throughout.
The stories can continue from here now (with the exemption of Kane/Khali). I would not be surprised by the end of the year this PPV will be the Pay Per View of the Year. They really caught my attention from the recaps and the clips that I was able to attain. It actually makes me consider purchasing their next Pay Per View. Overall, I think those who saw the whole thing were treated to a good show. Much better than WrestleMania, that is for sure.
Headline #2: ROH loses a Dragon…
Look, I will be the first to admit that I did not follow a lot of Bryan Danielson’s career. However, being a well-rounded educator of professional wrestling I looked up some stats about him before ROH debuted on HDNet. I was not disappointed. I was very impressed with his in-ring work and every match that he wrestled in for Ring of Honor I graded no lower than a B+. He made average matches into solid matches in my book, and for that I am sure that whoever saw him live for ROH were rewarded by his awareness in the ring, and his great balance of skills.
Now, the Dragon resides with the WWE. Sunday while I am in the WrestleView chat room, I found out from some guys that Danielson signed with the WWE. I will say this about this signing…it was brilliant. It is a win/win for all parties involved. Let’s face it, ROH has some serious money issues right at this moment. From what I read and heard through the rumor mills, Cary Silken is bouncing checks to the wrestlers now. I am not accountant, but that is not good business. Danielson, no matter what anyone says, made the right move here.
Bryan Danielson is an accomplished wrestler. He has won various titles in Ring of Honor, New Japan Pro Wrestling, and Pro Wrestling Guerilla to name a few. Futhermore, he was trained by Shawn Michaels AND William Regal. That alone adds credibility to this 28-year-old superstar. Honestly, the WWE can put him in any match and he will flourish.
So, where should the WWE place him? I hope they don?t keep him in FCW for an extensive period of time. I can REALLY see him as a perfect fit for ECW. He has a better chance there. You don?t want to place him on the bigger brands, just have him go the route of Evan Bourne and CM Punk. They started off in ECW, and both are pretty big names (though Bourne’s future does worry me a bit). Welcome to the WWE, American Dragon!! I just hope the creative department realizes your potential.
The Guy who steamrolled a child to get a DX glow stick – Anyone who catches someone doing this should immediately punch that person in the face.
Rob Terry – If he wants to be taken seriously he should get a new hairstyle.
Jenna Morasca – She is out of TNA for a while. On behalf of many, good riddance.
Michael Cole – You stay on this list for your fake laughter. BAD!!! BAD MICHAEL COLE!!! (hits him in the nose with a newspaper)
?Slap The Porpoise!? – I am still waiting for a YouTube video on this.
Degeneration X – I am just not into the gimmick anymore, unless they bring in some other younger guys.
Jerry Lawler – You need to rip Cole on Live TV. If you do this not only will you be off this list but get an ?A? next week. Also, a student of mine (can?t remember who) told me that you did not acknowledge Carlito’s previous US Title Run. Remember that Lawler? He did beat the poster boy of the WWE to earn it. For someone that has been a color commentator for a good portion of the decade, you should know that. (Thanks to Robert Downing for this suggestion).
Subway Contestants on those commercials – I would be pi$$ed if someone threw Pepsi in the air because they won a chance to see Nickelback.
Big Dick Johnson – Vince should have done more to you.
Soccer Moms that mark out for DX – Don?t be too obvious.
RAW Creative – please, please, please stop booking Chavo vs. Hornswoggle. By the time they are on TV kids should be in bed anyways.
ETS and the Praxis Series – Need I say why?
Cody Deaner – until he drops the Knockout’s Title.
Jeremy Borash – Less of him would increase ratings in my opinion.
TNA – Your company is in a mess right now. I just pray that they can climb out of this and fast.
Dixie Carter – Fix it!!
Pittsburgh Pirates Ownership – See above.
MB69RatedR (YouTube guy) – Saw your rant on CM Punk winning the title. Thanks to Crelly, I just found the lowest scum in the universe. Seriously, does this guy ever go outside or does this hobbit stay in his mom’s basement crying over Jeff Hardy. Hunter said on WNL last Monday that he might represent 85% of the wrestling community. My comment on that is I would rather entertain the 15% of wrestling fans that are not as obvious mark as this kid. I won?t rant on this kid anymore, as I will save this guy for ?The Casa? on Monday.
Now since school starts, you can?t do the classroom rules. Still, you can suggest people for the Detention list. If I agree, it will be in my next column. Just e-mail it to my new e-mail address, email@example.com.
MISTER V?S HONOR ROLL FROM AUGUST 17 – AUGUST 21, 2009
The week looks a bit shorter on here now, huh? Well, it is because ROH on HDNet is now on Mondays (for those who watch it on YouTube, check out ROHBrazil’s stuff Fridays). This past week we did get our mixed bag, but the positives outscored the negatives this past week. Please enjoy what I thought were the top three matches of the week.
Distinguished Honors – John Morrison/Hardy Boyz vs. CM Punk/Hart Dynasty, Friday Night Smackdown, August 21.
My overall review on this match was very positive. The match had everything that would make a match flow smoothly. DH Smith was very good in the right this past week. I only noticed him being green in the ring on one occasion. Jeff Hardy did miss a spot (his Whisper was really bad) in this contest, but the course of this match offset his average performance. I thought Tyson Kidd and John Morrison really helped themselves the most in this match. Kidd kept the ground work crisp and enjoyable, while Morrison dazzled in the ring and the series of maneuvers towards the end of the match were spot on. Overall, a great performance from all six superstars.
High Honors – Beer Money Inc. vs. British Invasion, TNA Impact, August 20.
Now THIS was a Street Fight. THIS was a grudge match. Yes, I know this stuff is staged with a predetermined outcome. However, they wrestled as if someone made fun of someone’s family members. The weapons usage was excellent, there was a purpose when using each weapon. The blood? There was a bit of it. Sure, Roode did not look bloody, but Doug Willams? That guy came out of this looking like a he came out of a car crash! I think Josh Boutwell got what he hoped for in this contest, and then some.
Honors – Tyler Black vs. Nigel McGuinness, ROH on HDNet, August 17.
This was your main event for ROH. Nigel’s return was very good and Tyler looked alright in this contest. This match was very, very technical in the ring yet still had it moments of high risk and grounding tactics. I guess the powers that be really are pushing for Black to be a champion soon, however I still don?t see it happening this year. The finish was very quick, but other than that the flow for this main event was pretty good. Nice job, Ring of Honor!
Honorable Mention awarded to: Eddie Edwards vs. Kevin Steen on 8/17; Kofi Kingston vs. Carlito on 8/17; The Miz vs. Evan Bourne on 8/17; Cena/Orton vs. Jericho/Big Show on 8/17; The Hurricane vs. Paul Birchill on 8/18; Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix on 8/20; Shelton Benjamin vs. Tyler Reks on 8/20; Consequences Creed vs. D?Angelo Dinero on 8/20; Team 3D vs. Angle/Morgan on 8/20; and Mysterio/Cryme Tyme vs. Jericho/Big Show/Ziggler on 8/21.
Worst Match of the Week – Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne, TNA Impact, August 20.
It is not a match if all there was after the bell was a pin. This loss puts Madison Rayne at a Detroit Lions-esqe record of 0-17 for 2009. I was going to do Hornswoggle vs. Chavo again, but at least someone kicked someone and Macaulay Culkin made a cameo.
Dishonorable Mention awarded to: Rinauro/Kozina vs. Cheech/Cloudy on 8/17; Mickie James vs. Gail Kim on 8/17; MVP vs. Jack Swagger on 8/17; and Chavo Guerrero vs. Hornswoggle on 8/17.
WEEKLY TV WARS
Since the upcoming school year is approaching us, I decided to make this portion a little smaller than usual. It may be a blessing or a curse, I am not sure. I did, however, get plenty of students share their thoughts on each show and we have a clear cut winner for the students? choice. So, here are my pros and cons for each show this past week.
ROH on HDNet (August 17)
Pros: Edwards vs. Steen; McGuinness vs. Black, The segment with Austin Aries, and Sonjay Dutt’s ROH TV Debut (though not a wrestling debut I will still take it).
Cons: Could have had a bit more with Necro vs. Callihan, the tag match was too goofy (thank goodness the Dark City Fight Club had enough of this), and someone please help Tyler Black speak comfortably in front of the camera.
Points: Zero Points.
Monday Night RAW (August 17)
Pros: The U.S. Title Match with Kofi and Carlito, Freddy Prinze’s knock on the WWF Ice Cream Bars, and (my friends will be shocked) his overall performance as guest host. Also, Miz vs. Bourne was pretty solid for the program they got and the main event tag team match involving the JeriShow, Orton, and Cena.
Cons: The Diva’s Title Match was terrible; nothing I can say could make it any better. DX’s segment was way too long and I was happy Legacy went over a little bit at their expense. Please, for the love of ____ tell Michael Cole to quit fake laughing. He is pathetic.
Points: Zero Points.
ECW (August 18)
Pros: The overall card was pretty solid for a one hour show. I thought the wrestlers that needed to win got the win. Zeke’s heel turn was expected in my opinion, but well worth it. Finally, the Abraham Washington show was fun to watch. A strong show overall.
Cons: If I could find a con on this show (thought I am very very picky), it was probably spending a couple minutes promoting Floyd Mayweather as the guest host for the 8/24 edition of RAW.
Points: One Point From Mr. V. It was a good show for what resources they have. They matches were above average and the segments were effective.
WWE Superstars (August 20)
Pros: The card had above average matches. Nothing really stunk up the joint. Kelly has really improved in the ring.
Cons: No match really stood out as the best one. Also, this kind of show should really only have three matches. That is just my personal opinion.
Points: Zero Points. I thank Mike Tedesco for giving me a gold star (seems like I am making a nice collection of the stars), but Superstars was not a top 2 show in my eyes this week.
TNA Impact! (August 20)
Pros: First off, Taz doing commentary. I know I am wrong when I say this, but he did a good job for TNA on his first week. The Street Fight was very good, as well as the main event. Most of the segments tied into the rivalries. Though corny, I actually liked the majority of the AJ Styles segment. Elijah Burke was very good in his debut match with Creed. Less emphasis on the MEM and the results was a pretty good show for the most part.
Cons: The MCMG’s segment. I wish they could find something for these guys. Sure, they might be gymnasts. But they are still a decent tag team. Cody Deaner’s gimmick has to go and go fast. He is clearly making an @$$ (remember no swearing) out of himself. Finally, Kurt Angle was ok this week. Unfortunately, he was on TV and should be off of it seeking some kind of help.
Points: Two Points from Mr. V and One point from the students of Mr. V. For a two hour program, the show really focused on wrestlers that needed some well-deserved air time. Guys like Roode, Storm, The Invasion, Kong, Sarita, and Dinero really needed more than three minutes to prove themselves once again. And they did. Out of the seven students that voted for best show, this show got five of them.
Friday Night Smackdown (August 21)
Pros: The main event! Seriously, John Morrison deserves to be the next big superstar for the WWE. His performance in that match was much better than the Hardy Boyz. Now that is just my personal opinion, but I think many of my students agree. Also, I really enjoyed watching the segment with Jeff Hardy and CM Punk. Very well done and the twist of fate while the ladder was falling was a nice touch. The rest of the card featured the best Smackdown had to offer, which is a good thing. Actually, I have something to say about Knox here. He is improving in the ring, but is it too late?
Cons: Knox’s whole speaking shtick really makes me ponder if he will last in the WWE after his feud with Finlay. Kane’s segment was not all that great. Finally, I can do without Slam Master J. I wonder if he still has a job because he is ?tight? with Michael Hayes.
Points: Zero Points. This show was my third pick. However for a two hour show there was some time that was too slow paced for my liking.
Cliff Notes on the previous section (in case you wanted to skip ahead like a lazy college student)?
Best Show: TNA Impact (2 Points)
Runner-Up: ECW (1 Point)
Students? Choice: TNA Impact (1 Point)
OVERALL WEEKLY TV WARS STANDINGS (as of August 21, 2009)
1) Friday Night Smackdown (50 Points)
2) Monday Night Raw (33 Points)
3) TNA Impact (22 Points)
4) ECW (15 Points)
5) ROH on HDNet (7 Points)
6) WWE Superstars (1 Point)
Students, this is YOUR column as well. Now I do not encourage my class to choose professional wrestling over work and school, but if you do catch a couple shows that you liked let me know. Send in your pick for SHOW OF THE WEEK to Mr. V’s NEW e-mail address: firstname.lastname@example.org.
COMMENTATOR REPORT CARD (Presented By: JR’s Family Bar-B-Q)
**I did not notice Jim Ross do his weekly plug for his sauce this week, so I will do it for him. Middle School, High School, and College students, he is offering a HUGE sale on his products. FREE SHIPPING ON SELECT ITEMS (to those who live in the United States and Canada)!!! You can?t go wrong with that. To my college students out there, ask your parents to give you some of these terrific items (such as JR’s Beef Jerky, BBQ Sauce, Chipotle Ketchup, and more). Also, if you want to get your professional wrestling-loving family member a nice birthday present, for $9.88 AND FREE SHIPPING you can get a cookbook signed by arguably one of the best commentators in professional wrestling. Go to www.jrsbarbq.com for more items on this great deal! **
Ok, now that I did my monthly promotion for Mr. Ross I can get back to my commentator report card. Man, I wish I can have more of the Ketchup. Jim Ross?make it happen!!
Ok, now for random thoughts on each commentator?.
1) The start of the ROH program both commentators just did not feel into the product presented to them. However, Dave Prazak stepped up his game near the end of the show. Prazak provided some decent commentary, especially in the main event.
2) Michael Cole needs to borrow Chris Jericho’s Thesaurus or Dictionary. He uses the same words over and over. I also notice something about Cole, the only eye contact he does is on the TV screen in front of him. He does not keep eye contact with anyone.
3) Jerry Lawler needs to get some of his facts straight, and stop saying ?I wanna be with Kelly Kelly six times in a five minute match.
4) Mathews and Striker were absolute money last week. The chemistry was just there and they exactly knew when to speak. Brilliant work by both men!
5) Mike Tenay did well in his position this week. Perhaps he was not tone-deaf from Don West anymore.
6) Taz is back on the report card! I liked the fact that he was not too enthralled with the MEM or the Beautiful People.
7) Do you think Don West is making breakfast now for Velvet Sky (now that she is single again), or making breakfast for Samoa Joe at a local Denny’s.
8) Todd Grisham and Jim Ross did a nice job on commentary. I feel that they are not only speaking to each other and calling the match, but they both also feel like they are talking to the audience as well. I really liked that aspect of their commentary.
Grades for this week:
Michael Cole: D (2009 Grade: D-) **Defending winner of the Dunce Cap**
Jerry Lawler: D+ (2009 Grade: C)
Josh Mathews: A (2009 Grade: B-)
Matt Striker: A (2009 Grade: A-) **Currently on Dean’s List**
Todd Grisham: A (2009 Grade: A-) **Currently on Dean’s List**
Jim Ross: A- (2009 Grade: A) **Currently on Dean’s List**
Mike Tenay: B- (2009 Grade: C+)
Taz: C+ (2009 Grade: C+)
Mike Hogewood: C (2009 Grade: C)
Dave Prazak: B- (2009 Grade: B) **Currently on Dean’s List**
**Don West is no long a commentator for TNA. If you want to see his final grade, check out column #29**
Current Predictions From the Faculty Standings (as of last Sunday’s SummerSlam)
And now, my two times a month look at the standing from our year-long predictions game. Enjoy!
(SummerSlam Picks in Parentheses)
1) Joe Baiamonte (Baiamonte’s Casa)??????..?..72-44 (6-2)
2) Josh Boutwell (TNA recapper and Viva La Raza!)??67-49 (7-1)
3) Jose Marrero (Wrestling Rumblings)??????.?.66-50 (5-3)
4) David Stephens (ECW recapper and That’s A Wrap!)?65-51 (7-1)
5) WrestleView Students (Our Loyal Readers)?????65-51 (5-3)
6) Anthony Valvo (From the Desk of Mr. V)?????..59-57 (4-4)
7) Matt O?Brien (Notes From the Nosebleeds)?????58-43 (4-4)
8) Josh Piedra (The Shoot)????????????…57-39 (5-3)
9) Mike Siciliano (Pro’s From the Palace)?????.?..54-36 (6-2)
10) Phil Chroniger (On Second Thought…)?????..?.54-50 (3-5)
11) Doug Lackey (Reality From Ringside)???????41-40 (6-2)
12) Chris Kelly (ex-TNA Epics Recapper)???????40-26 (5-3)
13) Sean Hurley (The Sharpshooter)?????????..40-29 (5-3)
14) Mike Tedesco (S.S. and Smackdown recapper)…???21-10 (7-1)
15) Mike Klubnik (Stylin? and Profilin?)????????14-12 (0-0)
16) Ryan Droste (Ask WV)?????????????..4-4 (0-0)
** WV students averaged 5.4 wins among 11 students, so by rule of estimation they post a 5-3 record **
MR V?S GOLD STAR SEGMENT
Once again, I have a lot of gold stars to give away and I am still six hours away from my deadline to complete this. So let’s fire away!!!
Ricky Langston – For providing me with a winning Bingo Card from Cole Bingo (thanks to /wooo/’s forum for creating this card)
??..ok apparently my computer is being really stupid so I won?t post it up. But believe me, he did it and he is rewarded for it.
David Stephens, Mike Tedesco, and Josh Boutwell – WV’s recap specialists were the best in predicting this year’s SummerSlam. All three posted an impressive 7-1 record.
To Superstarzz, Brian Czygan, Paul Pomykala, and Pat Lorang for also posting the same impressive record of 7-1
Joe Baiamonte – He blew away the competition this month with his PPV predictions and now has a five game advantage ahead of Josh Boutwell.
To Beer Money and the British Invasion – I am sure you gave your all in that match last Thursday. The students and I appreciate it.
John Morrison – Once again he continues to impress this teacher week after week.
Hart Dynasty – They are doing a tremendous job recently. They are really coming up in the rankings.
Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Jericho, Big Show, and Christian – For successfully defending your championships.
CM Punk – I hope that Jeff Hardy mark is reading this?CONGRATS ON WINNING THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP.
Justin Tabeek – One of my good friends who recommended my column to his friend and wrestling community through YouTube. Spread the word students?for I hope someday I have more students in my classroom than every before.
To all that e-mailed me and stated that you read #29 – This goes to Rocky Jr., Bond7, Michael Fox, Robert Downing, John Giammarino, Deeps Shah, Osaid Ahmad, Shakti Daby, Michael Pinion, Lordofdarkness2, Chad Robbins, Daniel Wood, Evan O?Brien, Suzanne Abshire, and Ricky Langston for notifying me that they read my column in one sitting last week.
Josh Adamski, Michael Pinion, and Bond7 – They were able to identify who the Brampton Battalion. They are a team in the Ontario Hockey League and I believe had a guy drafted pretty early in this year’s NHL Draft. They are also a rival of my favorite OHL team, the Erie Otters.
To ALL that completed the Student’s Choice Awards – I am near completion with this article. Thank you all for your patience and I can?t wait to present the final outcomes to all of you.
To all that completed the homework assignment – We will go over them next week.
Claudio Castagnoli – I now have one thing in common with him, we both enjoy a nice cup of coffee from Dunkin? Donuts. That’s??Very European.
To my loyal students – thank you for enjoying yet another column of mine. I hope you appreciate it.
**PLEASE LOOK AT COLUMN #29 FOR THE OVERALL QUESTIONS**
Well, that sums up another column ?From the Desk of Mr. V?. I thank all of you for reading my final summer format column and I hope you come back next week when I am back in teacher mode! So, until later this week I am WrestleView’s Resident Teacher reminding you take your shots for the H1N1/Swine Flu. Don?t cause your schools and colleges to close down because someone left their pigs out in the yard. Please be prepared next week’school WILL be in session.
As always, if you want to drop me a line you can do so at my NEW e-mail address. The new one is email@example.com. Now I will still check the Yahoo one for the next couple weeks, but I would prefer this transistion to be very smooth. Thanks to all who will e-mail me through Hotmail in advance.
Have a good week. Now go outside and enjoy the last couple days of summer vacation. You are officially??DISMISSED!!!
Facebook: Under Anthony J. Valvo from the Pittsburgh, PA Network
**Mr. V does not do MySpace nor Twitter**
If not for the students, there would be no Mr. V. Thank you all for reading this week.