Ousta! Welcome back to the only WrestleView column covering topics both nowhere yet everywhere at once. If you are new to the column you are probably going to hate us for the first couple weeks, but then you are going to hit a point where you say ?oh wait a minute, I think he gets it?. Don?t worry, that’s exactly how it is designed to be. This column is all about gut reactions and traveling thoughts. As the great Andy Kaufman once said: ?I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut, or get angry from the gut?.
My Harmonious Vision
Ladies and Gentlemen I have a vision. No, not along the lines of Martin Luther’s ?Dream?, nor ?World Peace? nor even the ?City Upon a Hill? which Jesus spoke of during his Sermon on the Mount. The vision I have is for a perfectly and completely harmonious group of WWE wrestlers which will entertain the fans with performances apart from the normal weekly shows.
Logically, this has brought me full circle in my quest to pick out the perfect WWE Barbershop Quartet. It has been a painful and arduous task to select my choices, but the parts seemed almost destined for their masters. So here you go:
Lead ? This will undoubtedly be handed over to the lead singer of Fozzy. Chris Jericho’s RAW vocals fused with my mandatory classical training requirement will ring true with blissful timbre.
Baritone ? The often ?unsung? hero of the Barbershop Quartet. Neither the high or low end of spectrum, it is the baritone’s duty to cover everything in between and stabilize the chords. There seems no better fit for this part than the former ECW commentator Joey Styles. His current work with WWE.com showcases his ability to work in a supportive role and bring out the absolute best in his peers.
Bass ? The Big Show is the obvious shoe in as his power house vocals are guaranteed to shake the foundations of every performance hall he enters. It is upon his wide girth that the group will be built up and I trust in his rich vocal abilities.
Tenor ? This of course leaves us with the position of Tenor. This is the guy who will spend so much time in high falsetto that even Rob Van Dam will look on with praise. I had to take careful selection with this choice as the wrong tenor would be devastating. The quartet tags would be destroyed without a solid tenor to awe the crowd. After much coin tossing, I have settled with none other than Hornswoggle as my choice! Oh yes, I?m quite serious.
And so there you have it, the soon to debut dream Barbershop Quartet of: Chris Jericho, Joey Styles, The Big Show and Hornswoggle. You show me someone who wouldn?t at least watch that on Youtube, and I?ll show you a liar.
What’s in the News?
all news is taken from WrestleView.com
Candice Michelle and Sim Snuka were both released from the WWE this past week. Candice Michelle made a quick comment over on her official Twitter page (twitter.com/DIVACANDICEM) regarding her release from WWE yesterday. Michelle added, “I’m Free to Grow! :)”
-there are so many double entendres that I could make about her free to grow comment, but I?m not even going to bother. What else is there to say except ?Go Daddy!? Haha, I couldn?t resist
Jess Ventura did an interview with Eric Cohen of prowrestling.about.com and it was quite an interesting read. We all know that he has some radical and amusing opinions on everything from politics to entertainment. I did find a couple gems in the interview one of which was the following in discussing the prospect of unions in professional wrestling:
-?I tried to unionize way back at WrestleMania 2. I got ratted by Hogan to Vince and I almost got fired over it. Shortly after that, I went off and filmed Predator and became a member of the Screen Actor’s Guild. Now I?m a vested member. I get my retirement and my health benefits from them. So I don?t care. I have my union. I attempted to do it way back in the mid-80’s. If wrestlers are so dumb and stupid that they don?t want to fight for something they should have then that is their business. It’s not mine. I?m not going to do it. Why should I??
At the Grand Rapids TNA live show, Kurt Angle spoke on the WWE return rumors (which he started). Angle announced that he loves TNA, wants to extend his contract with the company and that he will never return to the WWE again. He said he never wants to work for Vince McMahon again, despite his recent radio appearance where he said he could return to WWE if he wanted to, since his TNA contract is about to expire and he did not burn any bridges in WWE when he left.
-this is yet another 180 on his stance about the WWE. I?m beginning to wonder if the circumstances have less to do with what Angle wants to do and more to do with what the direction of the WWE currently is moving towards. Kurt has stated that he is now completely free from pain killer and other addictions which is definitely a positive step forward for his life
Shane Douglas has already been removed from TNA Superstar Roster Page. Also, he unfortunately suffered an ankle injury at Slammiversary
-Well I know that Anthony Valvo (?From the Desk of Mr. V?) is going to be upset about this one as Douglas is up there in terms of his favorite wrestlers of all time. I actually really did not have a chance to see any of Douglas? work for TNA thanks to my work schedule. I wish Shane success with his forthcoming and self-proclaimed ?final?, ECW reunion show later in the year
During Raw, John Cena threw his hat into the audience. The fan who caught the hat threw it back at Cena was then ejected from the arena.
-even for a John Cena fan like myself, who has great respect for the guy’s work and dedication, I think that is a bit of an extreme line for the WWE to take. For crying out loud one of your Superstars is parading around in an anti-John Cena shirt. For those who remember the first ECW One Night Stand PPV (one of the absolute most entertaining and enjoyable PPVs of all time) just think of how many fans would have been ejected for throwing Cena’s hat back at him when he made his entrance. Good times
Ric Flair remains scheduled for his first of three final appearances for Ring of Honor at this Friday’s event in Detroit, MI. PWInsider is reporting that ROH has yet to be reimbursed for advance payments made to Flair for his role as ROH Ambassador on the HDNet TV series which Flair pulled out of six weeks ago.
-Seriously, does anybody actually know what’s going on here? I don?t think even Flair is sure what he is up to
We’ve had many readers send us word that TNA Wrestling’s official Facebook page is featuring a video seeming to hype the upcoming debut of former ECW and WWE star Taz in the company soon.
-it certainly does seem to be hyping his debut. TNA utilizes both his ?FTW? and ?13? logos. Fun times are a coming. I?ve been reading Taz’s weekly blog on Facebook where he answers readers questions and the guy really seems rejuvenated and pumped to move forward with his career
Matt Hardy suffered a torn abdominal muscle during last night’s WWE TV tapings in Green Bay, WI last night. Hardy suffered the injury during a triple threat match taped for WWE Superstars involving WWE U.S. Champion Kofi Kingston and MVP. Hardy is scheduled for surgery this week and there is no word as to how much time he could miss. He has not officially commented on the injury on his official Twitter page which he is very vocal on.
-that sounds like an incredibly painful injury. Seriously a torn abdominal muscle, I?m not even sure how you do that, but it has to have you writhing in pain
Last night’s 6/22 commercial free WWE Monday Night Raw drew a final and very strong 4.5 cable rating.
-I?m pleasantly surprised and happy for the WWE. The show had an awesome PPV like feel and was really great stuff. CM Punk’s eyeing of the KFC Grilled Chicken was classic
WWE RAW ? 3.72
ECW on Sci-Fi ? 1.11
TNA Impact ?
Week ending June 19th 2009
Open ? 13.50
High ? 13.55
Low ? 12.18
Close ? 12.42
It’s interesting to note that there was 6% fall for WWE stock this past Tuesday regarding the announcement of the storyline sale of RAW to Donald Trump. Fox Business even did a feature looking at the ?possibility that WWE and GE-owned USA Network could be liable for a violation of securities law when a press release was issued indicating an actual real “sale” of Monday Night Raw to Donald Trump causing shares of WWE to fall 6% this past Tuesday.?
Must Read WrestleView Column of the Week
Baiamonte’s Casa #20 by: Joe Baiamonte
Joe presents Part I of his feature on the ?alternative wrestling awards?. Please excuse me as I quote from his latest edition which teases his column better than my rambling could: ?in the spirit of all things celebratory, I?ve decided to host the very first ?Baiamonte’s Casa Alternative First Half of The Year Awards?!!! This is where I intend to celebrate the alternative side of wrestling achievement in the past six months. See, when you?re unemployed in a town full of illegal immigrants that will work for a packet of crackers and clean drinking water, you begin to think up weird shit like this.?
I want to give you guys a heads up that there is a good chance you will not be reading an ECW recap written by myself for next week and possibly the next couple weeks. My computer is a bit messed up (nothing internal it is all superficial damage like a broken usb port, a key issue, and the hinge for my laptop screen is broken). I am taking it in to get fixed and I won?t have internet or computer access until I get it back. I apologize in advance as I know many of you look forward to reading and corresponding with me each week.
The good news is that I have pre-written several ?That’s a Wrap? columns, which as you know is my weekly feature here on WrestleView. They will be posted each week so you?ll still have them to enjoy. So until we bond over another ECW recap, I wish you all the best!
So ?that’s a wrap??. Love it? Hate it? Disagree with everything I said? Just want to chat wrestling? I?m always up for reading your thoughts so send them ?em on over.