-The First Shot-
Ladies and gentlemen.. it is I, Wrestleview’s resident shooter and the internet wrestling community’s loose cannon, bringing to you your 54th edition of The Shoot. Welcome back to all my readers as we kick off another week in the world of professional wrestling. As you know, this column is all about the rantings and ravings of things that just irk me? and this week will be no different. I?m going to go ahead and pull out the red leather chair, don my cap, and take a look at this atrocity that is Bret Hart’s return in the WWE. This isn?t really an armchair booker series, but it’s more or less what should have happened, in this man’s not-so-humbled opinion. But before we get to that, as customary, it’s time for Quick Shots and I have a semi-review of Mega Man 10 in my Culture Shock for you all.
Eric Bischoff wants to film a reality television series in the iMPACT! Zone. The reality program will focus on Micro Championship Wrestling? a wrestling program about midgets. Yes, you read that correctly? Eric Bischoff wants to film a wrestling show about midgets. Now.. I know that midgets are cute, funny, and just damn straight entertaining, but trying to pull in the audience of Little People Big World into the foray of professional wrestling is just beyond my bewilderment. Even the Orange Goblin himself, Hulk Hogan, will have his hand in the program as he has already cut a promo on the main site. If you were unfortunate enough to witness the debacle that was Celebrity Championship Wrestling, then, you can pretty much know what to expect out of this.
HAIL KONG! HAIL KONG! The glorious day has finally arrived where Awesome Kong has been granted her release from TNA Wrestling. Now, in this economy, it would be rude to be happy over someone’s unemployment, but we all know that Kong will more than likely end up in World Wrestling Entertainment. If and WHEN that happens, we can all finally bask in the glory that will be Awesome Kong vs Beth Phoenix. Get your Vaseline and Kleenex out, gentlemen, because the dream match is imminent.
It was no Titan Towers Massacre, but a little spring cleaning as Charlie Haas, Maria, Paul Burchill, and ?Stand Back,There’s a Hurricane Coming Through the Unemployment Line? Gregory Helms all received their future endeavors by the WWE. Where will they go from here? I don?t know about Charlie Haas, but I could see TNA trying to pick up Gregory Helms and Maria? although Maria has expressed interest in other projects outside of wrestling so I think she’s a no go for that. Burchill, I would LOVE to see in Ring of Honor? he’s the kind of talent that can help boost others and he can finally break free and work the style that he has done before which would allow him to fit right in with the ROH crowd.
-The Big Shot: We Want a Different Bret (or at least I do)-
WE WANT BRET!
WE WANT BRET!
This was the chant that echoed through arenas since November of 1997. This was the chant you heard each and every time that the WWE went to Canada. It mattered not which city or which province, if the ?E was in Canada, you got two chants: We Want Bret and You Screwed Bret. After a tease by Shawn Michaels in 2005, it proved that Canada hadn?t forgotten about Bret Hart, but slowly, but surely, Bret’s memory began to fade? that was until late 2009 when it was announced that for the first time in twelve years, Bret Hart would be appearing on WWE Monday Night Raw. The sky fell, Satan wore a scarf, the bottom fell out, and I think the dog next door licked a cat. The unthinkable had happened and the WWE would finally see Bret Hard back on camera.
The ink dried on the paper and the deal was signed, sealed, and delivered. Bret Hart was announced as the guest host of Monday Night Raw on January 4, 2010, a day that will live in wrestling infamy as Hart was combating Hulk Hogan and TNA’s first live appearance on a Monday night. Hart stepped through the curtain and 15,000 people rocked the arena’s foundation as The Hitman came down to the ring and delivered to us what we waited to see? the Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels confrontation.
Then? it kind of just went all downhill from there. We knew that Hart signed a short term contract with the WWE that would expire after Wrestlemania, but we had no idea how Bret would be used or what kind of storyline would be in place. It basically started off with Bret wanting closure from Vince McMahon, but being the genetic jackhammer, the man with the balls the size of grape fruits, we knew that closure would not happen. Vince McMahon kicked Bret in the gut and that was seemingly the end of it.
There was little mention of it until Bret Hart was invited back to Monday Night Raw. Now, I know that Bret wasn?t going to do the entire travel schedule with the WWE so I can understand the whole single appearance, ?inviting back?, thing to space it out. I am completely fine with that. What confused me the most was the angle that was shot where Bret Hart ?broke his leg? after a clueless bimbo backs into him with her car.
Now? the big problem here is that despite being in a car accident, they use the invitation excuse once again to get Bret Hart back on the show to ?pay tribute? to him and allow him to say his goodbyes properly. When the segment came, McMahon attacked Bret and challenged him to a match at Wrestlemania.
WHOA WHOA WHOA
HOLD THE PHONE
Now.. I know about the out of character stuff. The concussion thanks to Bill Goldberg, and the stroke after the motorcycle accident. Two major events in Bret’s life that would guarantee that he would never step foot into a wrestling ring again to actively compete. So I realize that Hart vs McMahon at Wrestlemania, right away, will not be a work of technical mastery like Bret is used to putting on, but more or less, a ?protected? street fight where we will see McMahon take a lot of punishment and Bret will take a light bump here or there, like dropping to his knees or something.
While I understand that, let’s take a look at this from an in character perspective.
How in the blue hell do you expect to put on a match with a man in a leg cast? Storyline wise, Bret has a broken leg, and he accepts a wrestling match with Vince McMahon at Wrestlemania. I know Wrestling is entertainment and that there needs to be a certain suspension of disbelief in order to enjoy the product, but can someone please tell me where it is in this case?
With a broken leg and torn ligaments, how can anyone believe that a miracle of miracles will happen and Bret will be able to physically compete in this match, which, by the way, is four weeks away? Sid Vicious broke his leg and he was out for almost two years. You don?t bounce back from a broken leg in a matter of six weeks.. .it just doesn?t happen. So I am interested in knowing why in the blue hell would WWE Creative book this atrocity of a storyline and then book a match at Wrestlemania.
I know it could be a cover up for Bret’s limited abilities in the ring, but for Christ’s sake, was this the best that they could come up with? I can already see how this match is going to go. Bret will get a few shots in on Vince after Vince dances around and taunts Bret a few times. Bret will have the upper hand and Vince will cower? then Vince will pull a low blow from out of nowhere, Bret takes his light bump by dropping to his knees and Vince will do some light hits to him so he doesn?t kill him, and then someone like?? say?. I don?t know? John Cena will run out and make the save. That, my friends, is NOT compelling television.
There are much better ways that you could book Bret Hart and not make him look THIS weak. For example, instead of the entire broken leg segment? instead, have someone, say, I don?t know? Batista, jump Bret Hart once again. John Cena comes to Bret’s rescue and that sets up for Bret to return next Monday Night. See? what I did there was something called continuity. It keeps the whole Batista/Cena thing fresh will intertwining Hart/McMahon. This Monday, you could have still ended up right where you were and it would have been a better bridge between the two shows. Cena and Batista’s promo would have still worked and the Hart/McMahon promo would have still worked, but instead of touting Bret has getting his sendoff, Bret would be here looking for McMahon like a raving lunatic? this would have made Bret hotter with the crowd than what they have done with him last night.
Fast forward to mania? the same match I predicted takes place, but instead of John Cena making the save? how about we rub some of the younger talent and get them over and have, say, The Hart Dynasty come make the save. Wilson, Smith, and Neidhart coming out to help out their family member, at Wrestlemania, would give them much more fan support and is a nice building block to start a program off of.
In my opinion, WWE dropped the ball on something that could have been special. This isn?t the first time that this has happened and I am sure that this will not be the last. Just had to get this one off my chest for this week.
Oh glorious days? Mega Man 10 has finally arrived on the Nintendo Wii and I couldn?t be any happier. This game, so far, isn?t as good as Mega Man 9, but that is not meant to be a slight against the title by any means. The game is still very polished, VERY challenging, and pretty intriguing. Some of the elements do kind of hold the game back, though.
First is the music. The music isn?t as good as Mega Man 9’s. There are only a handful of songs in the game that are memorable while the rest were forgettable. A lot of people feared this with Mega Man 9 because Inti Creates, the people behind the Mega Man Zero soundtrack, were the ones slated to do the OST. Much to their surprise, it turned out great. Then they listed a laundry list of talent from people who worked on the original Mega Man? all the way through Mega Man 9 as people who were working on 10’s OST. Needless to say that they could have put a little more effort into this one because it just doesn?t feel like Mega Man.
Next are the sprites. I know that the NES originally could handle four colors in addition to black and white. Trying to duplicate that is not a bad idea, but the sprites themselves look pretty terrible for the robot masters. Mega Man 9’s sprites were very well done while 10’s look like rush jobs that don?t have that finished touch to them. It is a measly gripe, but a gripe nevertheless.
Good news though.. the third playable character is NOT in the game yet, but has been revealed as the one and only BASS AND TREBLE. (Forte and Gospel for you Japanophiles). I cannot wait for that downloadable content to hit the market. All in all, I have yet to have a good sit down with the title, but I am sure to do that as soon as humanly possible and when I do, I?ll be sure to give my full thoughts in a future Culture Shock segment.
With that being said? cue the outro.
-The Final Shot-
That’s going to do it for me this week. If you would like to submit anything as far as column feedback, wrestling discussion, culture shock topics, anything? you can do so by using any of the methods below.
Until next week?