Good Thursday to each and every student from the desk of your teacher, Mr. V. I sure hope all is well and that your week is exciting. It is that time once again to lay down a rule or two (with the help of one particulary e-mail), detentions (including YOU ?King-ons?), Honor Roll (finally I get to grade an ROH show), good and bad contests in the wrestling world, TV wars, commentator report cards, gold stars, and a review on last week’s homework assignment. So, grab a chair, have a seat and for this week only, indulge in a snack while you read this week’s column. I know I am, thanks to a two and a half pound bag of cherries with my name on it.
Before I go on, I had a few students e-mail me liking the inspirational quote of the week. I think before we even begin this week’s lesson, I will give you a quote to just digest and enjoy, so this quote came from:
“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.”
This is to all my college students out there who are having a tough time during finals week. I know I had experienced them about five years ago. My philosophy is that if you think you are doing a bad job, then you ARE going to do a bad job. But if you have confidence and show signs of being positive, it goes far in life. So please, class, if you have any negative thoughts, consider thinking positively. When you think positive, you ARE going to be positive. So keep your head up, you are almost done in your very successful college year.
Not too many rules today from Mr. V, but Luke (aka Bond7) has a couple as well. has a couple he would like to share. Remember students, if you want to create some rules for my classroom, you may do so by e-mailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you again for your participation.
Also to the e-mailers who send me rules, thank you so much for them. My goal was to have 100 rules by the end of December and now I will have forty four and May is not even over yet!! Keep them coming and I thank you for all of them.
40)If you are going gray or losing your hair, please do not don the Rey Mysterio Mask.
I am not too sure if I addressed this before, but it needs to be addressed again. Last Friday, I am sitting on my couch watching another exciting edition of Friday Night Smackdown and I saw something weird at ringside. One minute I see an older gentleman watching a decent Morrison/Shelton contest. However, I watch the 4-way contest and I see the SAME MAN wearing the Rey Mysterio mask dancing like Curry Man on the Fourth of July. I DVR?d this episode and I thought my eyes were deceiving me. But NO, they were not and yet this man inadvertently made my column. What made matters worse was that there were no children near him while he was doing this, just a bunch of what appeared to be college students, thank goodness. So to my older students out there (or to the 30 year old crowd), please do not get caught being ?that guy? when I address you in my column. And this comes from a person that wore the II Cool necklace when he was 19 (remember that Travis and TJ?) Wow, I just think that some people need a life (including myself, but I only wore that chain at a house show)?
41)No man over the age of 25 should wear a Spongebob T-Shirt.
I am sorry if this offends people, but if one goes to a wrestling show, at least dress appropriately. I am fine if the PG crowd wears them, but when you are in college and wear a Spongebob pajama shirt to a TNA show, you have problems. I mean, TNA Wrestling should have standards as well, and should have thrown this dude off the property and reported him to detention (or kendo sticked to death by The Real Samoa Joe). And I thought the Burger King commercial with the world’s favorite sponge was hazardous enough?
I>42)If your top star is getting booed out of the building, own up to it. (From Luke)
Luke send this statement in regarding the reason for this rule: A couple weeks ago RAW was in London.? John Cena came out to deafening boos.? He was facing Chris Jericho, who the crowd got solely behind.? And this happens in certain cities.? Philadelphia hates him, New York does too, and several other cities make it their mission to let him have it.? In the beginning he got booed everywhere, due solely to the fact that fans (the older fans) will never feel like they were the ones who put him where he is.? They’ll always feel like Cena is something Vince is trying to sell to them, something manufactured.? Kids don’t know anything, because they’re not old enough to know anything else than Cena being shoved down their throat.? That’s why every Cena chant sounds like the chorus to “We Don’t Need Another Hero”.
But my?real problem is the announcers whenever this happens.??Back when Cena was downright hated, JR would always say that he’s “controversial”.? No BBQ man,?they DESPISE him!? And when Cena was getting booed in London, I remember Cole saying something like “sometimes he divides a crowd”.? No, he always does that.? And we all know how it’s divided.? You just know Vince is screaming in their ear to come up with some excuse to protect Cena on the air, to justify him being their top star, but sometimes it’s just downright desperate.? And above all, it causes the audience to think that they think we’re stupid.? Would it be so bad to just admit from time to time that?Cena doesn’t go over well in certain places, that is if we can hear them over the CENA SUCKS chant????
Mr. V’s Take: Pittsburgh, PA hates him as well. Though he is manufactured as the face of the WWE, I have to give him credit for handling the fans really well (even when fans give him the one-finger salute). Yes, I noticed more fans booing Cena in his nice match against Jericho, but I think it is more of Vince telling the announcers to say ?Cena’s controversial?. But you do have a point, if you are getting booed out of the building, man up and say he is getting booed.
43)When?your announcer is?explaining the rules to a new?gimmick?match, if he ever gets winded in the?middle of it or has to explain it over and over and over before and even?during the match, it’s time to go back to the drawing board. (From Luke)
TNA is infamous for this.? They haven’t done it in the last couple weeks, so you know they’re due.? I could give examples here, but the thought of them all is making me tired, so I’ll just trust that you know all the ones I’m talking about.? If even during the match, no one knows what the hell is going on, it’s time to simplify.? KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid).? This rule had to be said.
Mr. V’s Take: Agreed. When I hear Jim Cornette say ?The rules are quite simple?, that means two things 1) It will take 2 minutes to go over and leave you scratching your head and 2) Kurt Angle does not like it when he is confused (ok, that was a little joke). I agree, keep a match simple. I mean look at ROH’s serving on 4/25 involving Bryan Danielson and Tyler Black. No gimmicks are needed to have a nice solid contest.
Demerits go to the following groups or people:
– People to tell Mr. V to ?Go Green?
– Any adult male who owns a SpongeBob shirt, and wears it in PUBLIC!!
– Don West
– Michael Cole
– WWE Creative
– Washington Capitals (I am sure Phil Chroniger is very happy they are up 2-0 on my Penguins)
Detentions go to the following groups or people:
?That Guy? – Ok, I got through the 40 year old Rey mask wearing guy, and the Spongebob ?man?, but there is one more. I am talking about the moron that was running around ringside with a sign ?JROD?, blocking people who are trying to watch a main event. I think it happened on Smackdown, but still. That is disrespectful and very stupid. I am surprised that he did not get destroyed by security for pulling this stunt.
TNA Creative – Detention for you for keeping Rhaka Khan and releasing Roxxi. This is the worst trade off since the Detroit Pistons traded away Chauncey Billups. I am not a big fan of Roxxi, but she is yet another talented wrestler who got the short end of the stick because of outside politics (not sure, but is Rhaka still dating Kurt Angle?).
Burger King – Well, they did not have the Spongebob commercial this week, but now they are promoting the Star Trek movie by having the King turned into a ?King-on?. I mean seriously, if I was a Trekkie, I would boycott Burger King for this one.
Mike Hogewood – You will be on this list until you stop saying ?That Hurts! 50 times during a one hour show.
Santina Marella Angle – It’s not funny anymore; lose the dress Santino, please?
Cody Deaner – The only gimmick I hate worse than Santina.
Hulk Hogan – Your ?I understand O.J? comments will keep you on here for a while.
Coca-Cola Company – If you do not bring us Ecto Cooler, I will continue to drink another cola brand? VIVA THE RC COLA!!
Reid Flair – You, little punk, deserve to be on here. I hope that NO WRESTLING ORGANIZATION signs you until you can clean up your act!! I am a fan of Ric Flair, but don?t promote your kid until he grows up.
Praxis Series and ETS – In one more week, they will set a record for being in the ?Eternal Detention? longer than anyone!
Arlen Specter – Just because I want to do it. But the switch probably earned him six more years, and for him, that is more than his integrity, right? I am not political activist, but my democrat friends even thought this was wrong.
MISTER V?S HONOR ROLL FOR THE WEEK OF APRIL 25 – MAY 1, 2009
I have to say this, the matches were 85% good and only 15% awful this past week. I may be a bit late on the ROH material, but I think it is for the best since I watch ROH on Wednesdays on YouTube and at times, the download is not completed when I finish my column. ROH fans, I am sorry in advance. I had a tough time picking a top three, but there were FIVE matches this week that merited a B+ grade in my gradebook. The Distinguished Honors match was actually easy, it was the only the second time Mr. V gave a match an ?A+? grade. Actually, it was the other two, as each show gave us a solid match on their card. After much though and preparation in completing the honor roll, I present to you this week’s Honor Roll.
DISTINGUISHED HONOR ROLL – Bryan Danielson vs. Tyler Black, ROH on HDNet, April 25.
This time limit draw made me want more. It was a great match all around that had it all. This match and the Morrison/Bourne match from a couple weeks ago are my matches of the year for 2009. I enjoyed the Greco-Roman style action during the beginning of the contest, as it was evenly matched. They both hit their signature moves, as well as their respectable finishers. Many rope breaks and at times, many struggles as both sniffed the taste of victory many times. Both wrestlers looked like they gave their all, and showed great emotion. The suplexes and submissions were well executed and I think made the fans want more. I also enjoyed the fact that there was a genuine handshake at the end of the match. You can tell sometimes whether they do it because it is part of the script and when it is real. I think both wrestlers truly respect each other outside the ring and they both complemented themselves well. It is a shame that a couple weeks ago or so, Tyler Black injured his neck. I do pray for a quick recovery and hope for his continued success. Danielson’s star continued to rise after this match, and I know it may be far-fetched, but I hope he inks a deal with ROH or some other wrestling company. He is just too good to leave a free agent for a while and I even think he has a shot in MMA, given proper training.
HIGH HONOR ROLL – CM Punk vs. Edge, Friday Night Smackdown, May 1.
I am not taking the ending/Umaga squash in the end; I am going only towards their one-on-one bout. It was very impressive, great back and forth action between these two equally matched talents. I was looking through my notes just now, and I was real impressed that their was a bunch of technical/submission holds in this contest, something we have not seen from CM Punk in a while. Now that the Undertaker will be out for a while and Jeff Hardy’s uncertain future, CM Punk is quickly elevating to ?top face? status on Smackdown, and after five years of hard work on OVW, ECW, and RAW, I think CM Punk can face the pressure in becoming a top guy for that brand. Edge looked great as well, selling Punk’s offense and playing his heel character very well. He told a great story in the ring and outside of it throughout the show. CM Punk’s upset win bumped this match slightly ahead of my 3rd pick here, as the ending to the contest showed to the viewer that CM Punk has a shot at taking down Edge without anyone’s help. Overall, a great match that will put Punk over as the #1 contender for any title within the next month or two.
HONOR ROLL – Finlay vs. Tyson Kidd, ECW, April 28
I think Tyson Kidd needed a win to keep his stock up with the WWE, and his win against Finlay helped this young guy’s star shining for a while. The one thing I totally respect about Finlay (I don?t think anyone will disagree with this) is the fact that he is having fun in the ring and that he does not care to put young talent over him. He allowed Swagger to pin him clean frequently in January and now let Tyson Kidd put him over. One thing I like in a match are submissions, and this contest had a TON of them. And let me tell you students, the pain on their faces had to be real! Also, no one kicks harder on someone’s back than Kidd. Kidd reminds me a lot like Owen Hart. His style is almost a spitting image of the ?King of Harts? and can hold multiple titles in the WWE. I just hope that Vince McMahon sees this vision as well. Finlay still impresses me after all these years, and I think is very underrated with the company. I really hope he gets one more title reign (ECW, IC, whatever) before he retires, because I won?t be the only one that will truly miss this Irish Brawler. But heck, he still makes a great producer for one of the three WWE shows, plus he trains the Divas as well, and the training for those Divas are paying off, huh?
Honorable Mention goes to: Hero/Edwards vs. Steen/Briscoe on 4/25, Kendrick vs. Kingston on 4/27, Orton vs. MVP on 4/27, Dreamer vs. Christian on 4/28, Bourne vs. Birchill on 4/30, DiBiase vs. Batista on 4/30, Shelley/Sabin vs. Amazing Red/Suicide on 4/30, Morrison vs. Benjiman on 5/1, MVP vs. Ziggler on 5/1, and Jeff Hardy vs. Kane vs. Jericho vs. Rey on 5/1
WORST MATCH OF THE WEEK – Matt Hardy vs. Goldust, Monday Night Raw, April 27.
Though it helped Matt a bit, I just think he should heel the hand and not further injury. Also, wrestling against Goldust was not the best fit for him. But when a match only consists of running away, leaving the ring, entering the ring, and hitting a guy with a cast, it results in failure in my eyes.
Dishonorable Mention goes to: 8-Diva Tag Match on 4/27, Deaner vs. Abyss on 4/30, and Nash/Booker vs. AJ/Joe on 4/30
Sorry for the short Dishonorable Mention again, class. Like I mentioned before, there was a lot of good, solid matches on the card and were mostly executed adequately.
WEEKLY TV WARS
This was a case in which there were three solid shows this past week. I was not feeling TNA IMPACT last Thursday. The opening contest was great and all, but the overall product slumped frequently and Kurt Angle was very inconsistent as a ‘serious? or a ‘silly? godfather character. The matches were hit or miss, as well as the storylines. Overall, an average show by TNA. WWE SUPERSTARS had some impressive matches, but no segments outside of the in-ring product and too many Backlash commercials. That gets annoying to me very quickly. MONDAY NIGHT RAW was the students? choice this week. I agree with the fact that the storylines were solid, but the matches were not really all that great. The only match that stood out to be on RAW was the MVP/Orton match, but that ended in a DQ or No Contest, so that drops some points in my book. The Big Show/Batista main event was real sloppy, but as Hunter said on WNL, it was much better than previous battles. ROH ON HDNET always will score low because they have no in-ring mic segments, and I have to put that in the equation. But the wrestling on their show was top-notch ending with an excellent Black/Danielson time limit draw. I also was impressed with Nigel, Dark City Fight Club, and the tag match was pretty impressive. ECW was my runner up. They had one great segment involving Swagger, Dreamer, and Christian. Boy, it is great to have Christian as the face of ECW, and he deserved the ECW Title. As you all know, I really enjoyed the Kidd/Finlay match on this card and the main event featuring Dreamer and Christian was great, but they just missed the mark for best show because, well, the two hour show was much better this week. FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN is my pick for the best show of the week. We had some solid segments, mainly involving Jericho and everyone between him, and a nice altercation involving Jericho and John Morrison (I am glad he is a face right now). The Layla/Eve dance off was not really needed, but at least them and Cryme Tyme got face time on Friday night. The matches were excellent throughout the show, including the Punk/Edge main event. As a matter of fact, the overall card for Smackdown was brilliant! The 5/1 episode of Smackdown is so far in my opinion the show of the year. Kudos to the creative department for Smackdown on this one!
Best Show: Friday Night Smackdown! (2 points)
Runner Up: ECW (1 point)
Students? Choice: Monday Night Raw (1 point)
**Once again students, this is your column as well! E-mail me your pick for show of the week by e-mailing me at email@example.com. Thank you**
OVERALL STANDINGS FOR THE WEEKLY TV WARS
1)Monday Night Raw…..24 points
4)TNA Impact…..6 points
5)ROH on HDNet…..1 point
6)WWE Superstars…..0 points
WEEKLY COMMENTATOR REPORT
I received many compliments over this new format, so I am permanently leaving the report card like the one below. It is easier for me to type (have to be honest on that) and it is hopefully not repetitive. Enjoy, Class!
Michael Cole – C (Overall: D)
He actually did a decent job last week, needs to focus more on play-by-play and be a little clearer with his words. He did though call more moves than he had recently. At least he was honest about not calling a fast match well?
Jerry Lawler – B- (Overall: C+)
Enough with the drooling on Kelly Kelly already, no cheesy one-liners. They don?t work at the bars and they DON?T work on RAW. Other than that, he did a great job communicating with Cole and it was his best performance in weeks.
Josh Mathews – B+ (Overall: B)
He called moves clear and concise. He worked well except for those weird silent moments after he asks a question to Striker. Still, keep up the good work, Josh!
Matt Striker – A- (Overall: A)
He showed great emotion and passion yet again in doing commentary. It is always a pleasure to listen to him each week interact with the viewer. The best part is when he explains the force of some submission moves, something an average wrestling fan would not realize.
Jim Ross – C (Overall: B-)
I thought I would never say this, but Cole did a better job this week than JR. He is struggling at times with Grisham, but there is always room to improve for Good Ol? JR!
Todd Grisham – B- (Overall: B)
Todd was pretty good this week. Clear and Concise, Todd was mostly spot-on with his work. Now all he has to do is pace himself and he should be fine.
Mike Tenay – B- (Overall: C)
Mike did alright this week, nothing memorable. It was just your average Mike Tenay play-by-play. I am glad he toned down the Don West bashing on TV when West tried to prove a heel point.
Don West – D (Overall: F)
Still failing overall, Don West was actually good on emotion when Madison Rayne was getting murdered (not literally of course) by Awesome Kong. Other than that, his emotion needs to be kept in check and I, along with TNA, wonder about his commentary career.
Mike Hogewood – F (Overall: D-)
I know a move hurts, but we don?t have to hear it 100 times in sixty minutes. I am sure ROH can do better than this for a play-by-play commentator.
Dave Prazak – B (Overall: C+)
Prazak is doing a nice job for ROH. I enjoy his enthusiasm and his commitment to keep the match entertaining for the viewer.
I once again got fourteen different e-mail regarding last week’s homework assignment, which was who was overrated and underrated in WWE, TNA, and ROH. Here are the results and at the end of this, my picks for over and underated. Gold stars to the students that completed the homework assignment. (Some may have picked more than one, and that is ok)
OVERRATED IN THE WWE
1)HHH – 6 votes
2)Batista – 5 votes
3)Kane – 2 votes
4)Edge/Cena – 1 vote
Overview: Some of us are tired of seeing Kane be a monster only to have him lose to a guy like Rey Mysterio, while others can?t stand these title reigns for both Edge and Cena. Batista is known for his brute strength, but nothing else as he proves that each week, as well as being injured at least once a year. The pick here is HHH because of how he refuses to put people over, he recent in-ring work, and the fact that he at times plays the politics card against up-and-coming superstars.
Mr V.’s Pick – I am going to go outside the box and say MIKE KNOX. He never won a WWE Title, but how is this guy still wrestling when he almost seriously injured Jamie Noble in a squash and has even less maneuvers than John Cena?
UNDERRATED IN THE WWE
1)Shelton Benjiman – 4 votes
2)John Morrison – 3 votes
3)Finlay – 2 votes
4)Christian – 2 votes
5)8 others – 1 votes (Santino, Festus, Regal, Miz, MVP, Noble, Kane, and Natalya)
Overview: Though more than one vote went to Finlay and Morriosn, the student body of Mr. V’s classroom believes that time and time again SHELTON BENJIMAN is getting the short end of the stick in the WWE.
Mr. V’s Pick – I was torn between the top 3 in this category. However, I do agree that SHELTON BENJIMAN is the most underrated in the company because everyone on that list I believe have had great pushes along the way (with the exemption of Natalya, who will be a star if used right). Shelton has the main event talent, but it put on the back burner for a very long time. Here is hoping they cash in on his ability soon, or he may be too old to get one.
OVERRATED IN TNA
1)Kurt Angle – 4 votes
2)Kevin Nash – 3 votes
3)Mick Foley – 2 votes
4)Samoa Joe – 2 votes
5)5 tied – 1 vote (D-Von, Ray, Sting, Steiner, and Jeff Jarrett)
Overview: A Pittsburgh native tops a list! Sadly, in this case it is not a good thing. The classroom has spoken, and KURT ANGLE is getting too much time on TV and they are furious over this!
Mr. V’s Pick – This is an easy decision, it is KEVIN NASH. All I will say is this. When my dad watched Impact with me the other day, he told me ?Is HE still wrestling?. I shamefully nodded my head. Enough Said.
UNDERRATED IN TNA
1)Alex Shelley – 4 votes
2)Chris Sabin – 4 votes
3)Jay Lethal – 3 votes
4)Daniels – 2 votes
5)AJ Styles – 2 votes
6)3 tied – 1 vote (Doug Williams, Rhino, and Cute Kip)
Overview: The student body thinks that the team of SHELLEY and SABIN are not being used right in the company. The reason? This tag team, known as the Motor City Machineguns never held a TNA Tag Title, and that is crazy given the fact that they are arguably the best team in TNA. TNA, take notice on this.
Mr. V’s Pick: Though I agree on all of them on this list (maybe not Cute Kip a whole lot), but I am going the minority here and saying DANIELS is the most underrated. I was thinking Shelley, but Daniels is the best thing going for TNA right now, yet he never won a world title for the company. And don?t get me started by wasting a year plus because of him being Suicide and Curry Man. In the words of Hurricane Helms, ?WHAT?S UP WIT THAT??
I did not get much on ROH, so we will save that for another time. I only had four votes and it was completely split. So, I will give you a short version of this and give you my pick at a later date:
Overrated (each with one vote): Jerry Lynn, Tyler Black, Chris Hero, Austin Aries
Underrated (each with one vote): Ricky Reyes, Bobby Dempsey, Rhett Titus, Colt Cabana
MR. V?S GOLD STARS SEGMENT (presented by Hi?C’s Ecto Cooler)
I may have a whole page based on gold stars this week, but here we go:
Crelly, Frank C., Fernando P., TNA Guru, Rick J., Ben P., Superstarzz, Jamel W., Mark T., Dark Lotus, Erran, Robert D., Austen A., and Travis T. – Thanks for completing the homework assignment and for that, all of you received gold stars.
Ricky Langston – He told me some great news about his life. All the best for you and your ladyfriend.
To all the students with college finals – I hope that all of you continue your success
Josh Piedra – For your very solid 3.8 (by estimation) QPA. I am sure you will find achievement in all you do. Congrats!
Dom DeLuise – I will sorely miss his comedy. If you haven?t watched Cannonball Run, do so. It is a must see movie.
To any Catholic School teacher that has read my column – I know of one who is reading this week’s edition, I hope you enjoyed the column 🙂
Bryan Danielson and Tyler Black – Great performance and for your efforts, a gold star for you?re A+ match on 4/25.
Stephanie McMahon – If the reports are true and you want to build up new superstars, best of luck. Perhaps you can hire me and I can name at least ten for you on the spot.
To All my readers – Thank you all for reading this column. It means a lot to me that you enjoy my columns each week. I may bash on different part of wrestling show, but I will NEVER bash anyone that reads my columns. Thank You.
I expect complete sentences and a brief explanation as to why you answer these following questions, so here is your homework assignment for this week (GOAL: to get 30 of my readers to answer this question. I think this is a big time goal, but I can dream, can I)? Also, WrestleView staff and columnists can join in as well, but you don?t have to
Who is the best Professional Wrestling play-by-play and color commentator today?
Your choices are:
Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Josh Mathews, Todd Grisham, Mike Tenay, and Mike Hogewood for play-by-play
Jerry Lawler, Tazz (though no longer announcing), Matt Striker, Don West, and Dave Prazak for color commentary
If you can pick one wrestler today to replace a commentator, who would it be and explain your answer. (ex. I would replace Don West with B.G. James)
Please complete this assignment by MAY 14, 2009. Signed by: AJV
Hopefully this will be yet another homework assignment for all of you once again. For those that e-mail me their choices, I will e-mail you back my choices on these questions. Hope you answer these correctly. You will receive a gold star if completed.
Well, the bell has rung on yet another week in professional wrestling, and other things. I hope you enjoyed this week’s column and I hope I can do better again next week on the 15th installment of ?From the Desk of Mr. V?. Now, I must leave and enjoy the fruit that the purchased at the Beaver County Fruit and Garden Center in Center Township, PA (highly recommended). Once again, if you liked the column or hated it, want to give me some comments or ask me other educational questions, you can e-mail them at firstname.lastname@example.org. Your e-mails are always appreciated and I do make an honest attempt at responding to your e-mails. I will reply within two to three days most of the time, and I hope you enjoy them once you receive them.
Until Next week, make sure you push in your chairs and quietly leave your computer desks. Also, since you all had a snack; please throw them away to the nearest garbage can. You are all??..DISMISSED!!!
Thanks for reading once again. Remember, without the students or readers, there would be no Mr. V. Thank You.