Updated 4/29, 930am
I want to publicly thank the individual who I believe is from France who emailed me and my bosses to clarify that I had goofed on the chapter number of this column. I read it wrong when I published it, and I appreciate the assistance of the readers to point it out so expeditiously so I could correct it. I don’t have this individual’s name, and out of respect for his or her privacy, I am not going to reveal the email address. But, to that person, I thank you.

Now, on to the column…

Well, the best laid plans of mice and men always seem to go astray. This weekend was no exception. I had every intention on providing a Backlash picks column, and yet, boom, there goes my leg, infection city, & 72 hours later, Backlash has come and gone, and I’ve spent 2 sleepless nights in a hospital bed. The poetic justice, or the absolute and terrible irony is just too thick and despicable to try and justify, so let’s just move the hell on forward.

Christian, don’t call me Christian Cage, don’t call me a former world champion, has won the ECW “World” Championship. While I think this title has lost an unbelievable amount of prestige from being on Jack Swagger’s shoulder for this amount of time, as noticeably prevalent by the lack of an ECW title defense in Phoenix in April, putting the title on Christian at this stage of the game is probably a good call. Christian has the ability to go heel mid title reign, and I would think that he and Evan Bourne could provide some major league matches in a trilogy story that could be tremendous to experience. One thing is for certain, the title’s holder has the goods to make the title worthwhile again, and hopefully, that will occur.

Oh, and one more thing, Christian. I know you’re never gonna say it, but damnit, if you ever write an autobiography, and you say winning the ECW title was more important than winning the two NWA titles, I will lose my lunch in ripping you a new brain stem.

Now, Edge defeated John Cena in last man standing for the World title. As much as I don’t want to say it, it had to happen to re-structure the brands with their rightful world titles atop the heap. What I need t know is from the president of World Wrestling Entertainment, and I know I’m going to contradict the absolute crap out of myself with this question.

If the talent chosen for world championship material’s last name isn’t Copeland, Levesque, or Cena, are they automatically ineligble?

I know, I know, I’m the Cena mark, and I love it when he’s got the strap, and the Game and Edge are as good as they can possibly be at this point and time, but WHEN THE HELL DO WE START LOOKING FOR SOME NEW FACES TO HOLD WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS??? I mean, jeez, having Rey as World Champion was tremendous. Even JBL’s run was fun to experience holding the WWE strap. It just has appeared over the not too recent past that unless your last name matches one of the three that I listed above, you’re not qualified to run the gamut with the top prize in the company, and the brand of that company.

It’s a sad thing, too, because I think there are people that are ready, even for a short run, but ready to go for the gusto. Short title runs are always going to be critiqued and knocked for losing the title’s prestige, but let’s be honest here, ladies and gentlemen, the days of holding champions on top of the mountain for a year in WWE are long since gone. And there are a few men who are, I think, ready to step up and take charge as the man of their brands

1st choice I would mention in this premise is obviously the United States Champion, MVP. His ability to run with the US strap, have a run as a tag champ, drop both belts, go through a streak that would break a normal man, and return to prominence as US champion, well, damnit, what else does he need to prove to be given a shot to run with the big gold? As far as I am concerned, MVP is more than ready, and capable, of being world champion. He is the most qualified at this point.

Some other names I want to mention are much longer shots on the WWE radar, I would believe, but I think that they may be, maybe future contenders, and I would love to see that future happen a lot sooner rather than later.

First choice here is obvious if you’ve read my columns. Evan Bourne has continued to show time in time out that he is as talented as any man on any brand, and has shone bright as the north star in his matches on television. You cannot tell me that this kid does not have the capability to put on 5 star matches as ECW Champion, because I’ve seen him do it live in Ring of Honor. The kid has all the tools, and should be given the next chance to run with the big dogs once Christian chews on the title for a while.

Two other options here are, in my opinion, way overdue former World champions who deserve another run. One, Kane. Kane’s lone run as WWE Champion was nothing short of a blink of an eye in length, and yet, he’s managed to stay a major player in the company for nearly a decade, if not longer. You cannot tell me that in none of that time, he hasn’t warranted another run as champion? Sure, the ‘monster’ gimmick doesn’t need a belt to make it work, but Kane’s worked as a face, and could’ve been a tremendous behemoth face world champion, if given the opportunity.

The other option in this group I think will eventually be a reality, and that’s the Money In the Bank winner, CM Punk. Punk’s disgraceful end to his first world title reign was never justifiably avenged, because I cannot believe that its equal stakes to take Legacy’s world tag straps when they take your world strap, and hand it eventually to Jericho on a silver platter.

Ok, time, and a little thing called marriage has caused this column to be delayed at least 24 to 48 hours past when I wanted to release it, but, c?est la vie, life goes on, so let me just steer clear from the topic I was on, and try and refocus this mess in to something that I can talk to before wrapping this up, and putting it to bed, along with its writer.

So, Judgment Day approaches, and the WWE Championship is back on Raw, with its new champion, Randy Orton facing Batista for the strap. Wow, talk about something new and improved, ladies and gentlemen. Don’t get me the least bit wrong, It’s a great match, and probably going to be damn entertaining, but HOW MANY FREAKIN’ TIMES HAVE WE HAD THIS MATCH FOR A CHAMPIONSHIP? Answer that, rhetorically, and you’ve hit the nail right on the noggin from what I was complaining about beforehand.

I’m typing during ECW, and although I’d love to hear how Mr. Don’t Call Me Christian Cage is going to say how big winning this pseudo – ECW title means, but, alas, I will pass. I loved seeing Taz’s statements on facebook as to how pitifully lame this attempted rebirth of ECW has become. I agree with him wholeheartedly, because the brand has its own legacy, and this brand’s current status is tarnishing that legacy to its core. I know one particular Connecticut native that’s not going to care one bit, but one other guy with this weird column in the United Kingdom’s tabloids, and about 10 million raving maniacs may care enough some day to do something about it. In the meantime, I guess we’re stuck with silver belts and dopes from developmental checking their gimmicks at the door as well as their careers.

As I sit here and go over the Raw results from monday, I realize this whole column may be a dinosaur. So, instead of rambling, its time to say good night.

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