Welcome once again class to "From the Desk of Mr. V". I am your resident teacher of WrestleView and I (and my students this week) will provide you with the good and bad of pro wrestling. Each week I will keep the predictions records up. Inside today will be a lecture on a few buzz worthy wrestling stories, detentions, Honor Rolls, and of course some Gold Stars (still sponsored by JR's Family Bar-B-Q). So students have a seat and grab a beverage of your choosing. School is in session for the 70th time and I am your teacher.
Before I begin with my quote of the week, I just want to remind my readers that May 31st is the deadline to vote for my friend James Lacerenza's cause. As most of my readers know, Mr. Lacerenza is competing for a $50,000 grant from Pepsi. If he his request is granted, then he will put that money towards a camp for children who suffer from muscular dystrophy.
The goals are attainable, but we still need your help. Currently, Mr. Lacerenza is ranked 166th. To many, that is a pretty significant number. But the ranking can be a lot higher with the help of my readers. So please go to his link and vote (every day if you can, as you can cast one vote per day). Let make some kids wishes come true with this money. Again, I thank you for your support. I am also sure that James will be as well.
I got a ton of positive feedback in regards to the Rodney Dangerfield quotes last week, and I thank all of you for the kind words. To keep the comedy quotes coming, let get a couple clean jokes from George Carlin for your reading pleasure.
"Have you ever noticed, in traffic, anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac!" – George Carlin
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?" – George Carlin
Look, we are near the end of the school year and remember when your classmates were tired of doing work and teachers teaching you how to do the work? Well, consider me one of them. I will be providing many a lecture on my radio show this week. A few of the topics will be...
1) Hogan vs. Post Cereal 2) Over the Limit Ouchies 3) The Embassy newest member
Jared from Subway – I did the diet, and I have not lost weight.
TNA Management - For digging yourselves in a grave.
David "This ain't diet" Otunga – I get it, he has "it". Apparently, "it" does not mean wrestling ability. When opponents literally have to run into you to generate offense, that is not a good sign.
The 5-Hour Energy Guy – I would love nothing more to see him do a guest spot on RAW, only to get destroyed by every superstar and diva on the WWE Roster.
Vance Archer – He is the next WWE talent I sadly see future endeavored. The guy has not improved at all since his call-up to Smackdown.
TNA's treatment of the X Division – Outside of Douglas Williams (good idea), they only give the other talents under five minutes to show us what they can be made of.
Orlando Jordan – Do I really need a reason?
The Bella Twins – They are on here because I am almost certain they are only known as arm candy for the guest hosts. I bet they pray that WWE does not abandon the guest host format or they may actually have to fight for their job.
WWE's Costume Department – Did anyone see Virgil's attire? You know, the shirt with a star on it? It reminds me of this cartoon. On a side note, for something real funny, check this out.
American Idol - I watched two episodes of this season...yeah it was awful.
This contestant on the Bachelorette, a reality TV show on the ABC Network – For this.
Just listen to the first minute, that is all you need.
...Well, at least Edge won't sue because he fears of character defamation. But seriously, this guy is a joke. This will be the only time I ever see a clip of that reality show.
Carlito – Getting Fired? That is not cool.
DUNCE CAP OF DOOM GOES TO...Hulk Hogan! You know you life is pretty low when you have to sue a cereal company because the cartoon looks like you. First off Hogan, The cartoon character has a dominant appearance. Second, the cartoon has a full head of hair, while you are rocking the Skullet (w/hair extensions). Finally, the cartoon's name is "Bulk Boulder". Hogan, once again you are nothing more than a shell of your former self. You blame others for your misfortunes and not yourself. This is truly how the pathetic live. Truly sorry for the mini rant here, but what Hogan is filing suit on is almost as ridiculous as Hogan attempting to wrestle on live television (oh wait, that did happen).
Mister V's Honor Roll for the Week of May 17-23, 2010
5/17 - Graded WWE Monday Night Raw Matches 5/18 - Graded WWE NXT Matches 5/19 - Column Writing. After that, I watched ROH on YouTube and recap the show. 5/20 - Graded WWE Superstars and TNA Impact Matches. 5/21 - Graded Smackdown Matches 5/22 - OFF DAY 5/23 – It will now be an OFF DAY until I finally get an FCW link.
Distinguished Honors – Edge vs. Christian, Monday Night Raw, May 17.
Thoughts: They showed pretty good chemistry from start to finish. I really enjoyed the flow of this contest. I also enjoyed the battle of Edge's psychology vs. Christian's aggression. This was the opening contest for Raw and I thought it was a great start to the show. The close calls were solid and enjoyed the finish. Overall, it was a pretty solid opener. Too bad it was the best match on Raw, as it did lose its punch afterwards.
Ending: After a close, even-paced battle Edge Speared his best friend for the pinfall victory.
High Honors – Christian vs. Dolph Ziggler, WWE Superstars, May 20.
Thoughts: I tried my best not to be biased, but when it came down to it Christian had an amazing week both in the ring and on the mic. The opening was pretty sound, as both men tried to see what their opponent's moves would be. Both wrestlers were crisp in the ring and no one missed a spot or a hold in this match. Later on, there was one spot where the awareness was lacking (Ziggler stepped back toward the ropes for a Christian counter). Again with a Christian ending, it was pretty good and if this is a start of a feud than count me in. I just wish it was for the Intercontinental Title.
Ending: In once again a very even battle, Christian ended this match with The Killswitch and the pinfall.
Honors – Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger, Friday Night Smackdown, May 21.
Thoughts: I was first off real surprised with Kofi Kingston. Kingston actually used ground work, something that was sorely lacking recently. Swagger showed solid in-ring awareness and used his wrestling background to control the match. I like how Kofi's quickness and Swagger's technical work went hand-in-hand and that made this match really enjoyable to watch. The Big Show causing Swagger to be distracted was not bad. However, with the string of losses Swagger accumulated since he became World Heavyweight Champion it made this match a little bit lower on the grading scale. Still, this was a good way to build up Kofi Kingston once more as he is now aligned with The Big Show.
Ending: The Big Show began to tell Jack Swagger that he had something important to say. Swagger was distracted for a moment and Kofi Kingston did a Springboard Splash and won by pinfall.
Mr. V's Grade Book from the previous week
A+, A, or A-: None to Report
B+: None to Report
B: Edge vs. Christian (RAW); Christian vs. Dolph Ziggler (Superstars); and Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger (Smackdown).
B-: Roderick Strong vs. Kevin Steen (ROH); John Cena vs. Sheamus (RAW); and Rey Mysterio and MVP vs. CM Punk and Luke Gallows (Smackdown).
C+: Kenny King and Rhett Titus vs. Christian Able and Josh Raymond (ROH); Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger (RAW); Cody Rhodes vs. Chris Masters (Superstars); Jay Lethal and Rob Van Dam vs. James Storm and Robert Roode (TNA); and Jeff Hardy vs. Sting (TNA).
C: Ted DiBiase, Jr. vs. Yoshi Tatsu (RAW); Evan Bourne and Gail Kim vs. Zack Ryder and Alicia Fox (RAW); Wade Barrett vs. Darren Young (NXT); Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater (NXT); Goldust vs. William Regal (Superstars); Madison Rayne vs. Roxxi (TNA); Eric Young vs. Shannon Moore (TNA); Michelle McCool and Layla vs. Kelly Kelly and Tiffany (Smackdown); and The Big Show vs. Drew McIntyre (Smackdown)
C-: Claudio Castagnoli vs. Andy Ridge (ROH); Layla, Michelle McCool, and Maryse vs. Eve Torres, Nikki Bella, and Brie Bella (RAW); and JTG vs. Caylen Croft (Smackdown).
D+, D, or D-: Bret Hart vs. The Miz (RAW); Orlando Jordan vs. Rob Terry (TNA); TNA X-Division Battle Royal won by Kazarian (TNA); and Curt Hawkins and Vance Archer vs. Brent Roberts and Jeremy Barner (Smackdown).
F or INC: The Undertaker vs. Edge (RAW) and Vladimir Kozlov vs. Santino Marella (Superstars);
BONUS!! Predictions from the Faculty Standings and notes
(As of WWE's Over the Limit)
2010-2011 Season (As of WWE Over The Limit)
1) Josh Boutwell (Viva La Raza and TNA Recapper)...................38-22 (3-4) 2) David Stephens (That's a Wrap and RAW Recapper).............37-23 (4-3) 3) Students of the Week (The Best from Prev. PPV)..................36-24 (4-3)* 4) Jose Marrero (Wrestling Rumblings)..........................................35-25 (2-5) 5) Matt O'Brien (Notes From The Nosebleeds)..............................34-26 (1-6) 6) Daniel Browne (For Queen and Country)...................................34-26 (2-5) 7) WrestleView Students (The Loyal Readers).............................34-26 (4-3) 8) Mike Tedesco (Smackdown and NXT Recapper).....................32-21 (6-1) 9) Anthony Valvo (From the Desk of Mr. V/ROH Recaps)..........31-29 (4-3) 10) Doug Lackey (Reality From Ringside)........................................30-30 (4-3) 11) Sean Hurley (The Sharpshooter)...............................................28-32 (1-6) 12) Jeff Springer (WWE Superstars Recapper).................................25-16 (0-0) 13) Joe Baiamonte (Baiamonte's Casa/2009 WV Champ).........24-20 (0-0)
Side Note: I had a secret ballot regarding counting the Orton/Edge match with the rest of the columnists. It was 5-2 that we did not count the match, so we officially did not count this one.
There was a five-way tie for the win among the WV Students. Sean Martin, Crystal Mai, Jeremy Samples, Evan O'Brien, and Sam Newstone all went 5-2 and will be Students of the Week for the TNA Slammiversary PPV.
*Michael Phillips, The Student of the Week did not retain. He went 4-3.
Among the Faculty Mike Tedesco earned the best record at 6-1 (he only missed the World Heavyweight Title match).
Overall, we had 25 "WV Students". They averaged a win total of 3.5. Since I estimate the student's picks, I had them marked as 4-3.
Past Students of the Week: Evan O'Brien, TJ Patton, Ricky Langston, Craig Alan Cope, Paul Lyons, SUPERSTARZZ, Jeremy Samples, Josh Logan, Eric Marin, David Sumroy, Crystal Mai, and Michael Phillips.
Mr. V's Gold Star Segment (Sponsored by: JR's Chipotle Ketchup)
Nothing special here, just buy Jim Ross' Chipotle Ketchup already!
To WV Students Sean Martin, Jeremy Samples, Crystal Mai, Evan O'Brien, and Sam Newstone – These students scored the highest Over the Limit record (5-2) and will all be Students of the Week for TNA's Slammiversary in June.
To Luke (Bond7) – He notified me on this and I am deeply sorry that I did not add his name to the list of gold stars last week. On the picks for TNA's Sacrifice, he went 7-2 as well. Congrats, Luke!
Michael Phillips – Almost retained the Student of the Week for a second time, but was one victory off. Still, thank you for being a great Student of the Week.
Mike Tedesco – Out of all the predictions accounted for, he was the best out of us all. Mike went 6-1 this weekend and now is in striking distance of making some noise. Plus, he mentions that Goose Mahoney is my favorite referee in the WWE.
Josh Boutwell – Still holding on to that "Number One Spot" in the overall predictions.
Christian – He was solid in both his matches this week with Edge and Dolph Ziggler. Also, he brought back The Peep Show and even made David Stephens favorite friend under 5' Hornswoggle entertaining.
The Teamwork of Chavo Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler – This reminded me of something...golf anyone?
Doug Lackey – He did a pretty good job on his radio show in regards to TNA releases. Gold Star? Yes! Extra Credit? Sure, why not. Banana Sticker, would you like scratch and sniff?
Jamel Watson, Jeremy Samples, Russell (RJ) Norris, Suzanne Abshire, Russ, and John Giammarino – Thank you for completing the homework assignment. Class, you still have one more week to turn it in.
The Embassy – On acquiring The Necro Butcher. Truly a good day for one of the best heel factions (and it is in ROH!).
Philadelphia Flyers and Chicago Blackhawks – May the best team win in this Stanley Cup Finals. I wished that it was a Penguins/Blackhawks final, but there is next year.
Ryan Doumit – Since ESPN will not acknowledge this because they only care about the Red Sox and Yankees, Doumit hit TWO game winning home runs in a three game span. Hunter Golden took notice of the Pittsburgh Pirates catcher years ago, which is why I can label him the King of Baseball.
Lester Junior – I think he deserves one this week for blowing all of us away so far in the ESPN Fantasy Baseball League that I am in. Guess who is #2? I will give you a hint he is writing this column.
Jack Swagger and The Big Show – This is a bit refreshing to see a feud like this. As for this "funny side" of Show, it was truly a long time coming. Outside the ring, he is a genuinely nice man.
Chris Jericho – Not only for his incredible work to rile up a crowd, but for his kind gesture in giving Paul Meade's brother an autograph at Cracker Barrell.
Daniel Bryan and Michael Cole – They are so great in this program that you can feel the hate between the two of them.
Betty White – Only because the campaign for her to guest host RAW is closing in. Really who would you rather see? Jon Lovitz or Betty White?
**Bonus from a student: Weekly Wrestler getting OWND moment**
Thanks Jamel Watson, who has been a reader of mine since the day I started at WrestleView.
Good Ideas...Bad Ideas (By: The WrestleView Students)
By Jamel Watson:
Good Idea: Brain Danielson beating up Michael Cole Bad Idea: not showing that replay more times
Good Idea: Having confidence in your company
Bad Idea: Being so naive that you think that your small time promotion that good murdered when they made the move to Monday nights can actually beat then buy-out the larger more successful company.
From Rick Jackson:
Good Idea: Letting Bryan Danielson beat the crap out of Michael Cole.
Bad Idea: Making Him Stop.
Keep up the great work, students. If you would like to share your "ideas" please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Homework Assignment (From Mr. V #69)
**CURRENTLY ONLY FOUR GOT THIS COMPLETED. I would like a few more readers' opinions here because next week we transition to "Mr. V Summer Vacation Columns".
Only one assignment this week, and this one should have some good feedback.
1) We complain about who the champions are in WWE, TNA, and ROH some of the time. I know I am guilty with that as well. So class, my question to you is this:
Who would you book as the following:
WWE World Champion (held by John Cena)
World Heavyweight Champion (held by Jack Swagger)
TNA World Heavyweight Champion (held by Rob Van Dam)
ROH World Champion (held by Tyler Black)
**Assignment due on June 2, 2010**
Well, that does it for me this week. I thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed this column as much as I typed it out. If you want to get a hold of me during the week, please e-mail me at email@example.com or by leaving me a message on Facebook. I do get a lot of e-mails and may not reply in a timely fashion, but I will do my best to give you a quicker reply.
Now, students you are allowed to leave the classroom. Please push in your chairs, line up straight, and exit to the closest door around you. Until my next Ring of Honor on HDNet recap, you are all......DISMISSED!!!!
Look for Mr. V on Facebook under Anthony J. Valvo in the Pittsburgh Network
If you enjoy Mr. V's WrestleView columns, then take a look at my work on my other site Examiner.com
I will be adding a feature on that website starting in May! I just don't know what to call my column on there yet.
Already on the archives we interviewed Jose Marrero (Wrestling Rumblings), Crystal Mai from Diva-Dirt.com, and The YouTube Sensation who had choice words to CM Punk.
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For $4.99 you can listen to the likes of Hunter Golden, Adam Martin, Tom Van Stone, Doug Lackey, and so much more!! I will be honest to say that we do offer the best value in paid content. So for a couple bucks less than a bag of Dunkin' Donuts Coffee, you can get all of the above.
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