-The First Shot-
Hello everyone and welcome to your 52nd edition of The Shoot. This column is going to be a little bit different? we have a bit of a humor column on our hands. I was inspired while listening to one of many internet wrestling radio shows out there and the idea just happened to pop into my head. So I?ll go into more detail with that later on. Also got my Against All Odds Prediction results as well as a music dump for Culture Shock this week. I can tell you all want to get to that right away, but we must trudge through those Quick Shots first so let’s hit ?em up!
Earlier in the day from the time of this writing (Monday), TNA made the announcement in the iMPACT! Zone in front of about 44 members in their online chat room and about 5 people in the actual studio, that they are going to be moving to Monday night on March 8th. The plan is to run head to head with WWE Monday Night Raw from 9EST to 11EST. Some weeks they will be live, others taped. I was there on the TNA site, in their chat for the announcement and all I can say is that after having to read the ?thoughts? of TNA fans, I?m beginning to understand their style of booking more and more. All I know is that they have at least 44 fans tuning into iMPACT! On Monday nights.
Tyler Black is YOUR new Ring of Honor world champion. I do not agree with this move as I think that Tyler Black is probably one of the worst prospects that ROH has. Be that as that may, I?m going to swerve you here for a minute with an opinion. Anyone else miss it when Bobby Cruise used to announce the title holder as YOUR Ring of Honor World Champion? They don?t say YOUR anymore. I know it’s a small and meager nuance that doesn?t really mean the difference between life and death for a promotion and it’s something that can easily be dismissed or not even noticed? but I actually like it when they announce a champion as YOUR champion. It just has that little extra something to connect with the fans.
Apparently ?American Dragon? Bryan Danielson is working under a new ring name down in Florida Championship Wrestling. If you haven?t heard it yet, I ask you to brace yourselves as this is probably one of the most creative names ever created in the history of this great sport (which reminds me? we need more Tony Schiavone in pro-wrestling!). Enough beating around the bushes and enough suspense? it is time to reveal the new name of Bryan Danielson. You ready? It’s Daniel Bryan! Yep! Daniel Bryan! Soak it in people? soak it in.
-The Big Shot: Wrestling Drinking Games-
That brings us to the nuts and chewing gum of the column today. I heard a little comment on an internet radio show about wrestling drinking games. With that being said, I will do one drinking game per company that’s out there, which would be WWE, TNA, and ROH. The rules of the drinking game are quite simple. There will be three things you will need to do. They are:
Now that we have these extremely difficult rules all laid out? let’s start off with the one I?m just chomping at the bit to get to.
THE TNA DRINKING GAME 2010 EDITION
If a wrestler tosses a comment to the ‘smarks? on the internet, drink once.
Someone in the crowd holds up a sign with a misspelling, drink. Someone in the crowd gets a sign taken away, drink. Someone in the crowd holds up a sign upside down, drink twice.
Crowd “Whoos” when someone does a backhand chop, drink. If It’s by Ric Flair, drink twice.
If the crowd chants, ?This is Awesome?, drink. If they chant ?This is Wrestling?, chug.
If a PPV World Title Match ends with a run in by 1 wrestler, drink. 2 or more wrestlers, drink twice. If it’s a clean finish, chug.
If Scott Hall shows up sober, chug
If Kurt Angle applies an ankle lock, drink. If he reverses it, drink, if it’s reversed twice, drink twice, if it’s the only submission hold he uses in the match, chug.
When Eric Bischoff runs down “The promotion up North,” drink once. If he holds a sign that refers to Vince McMahon or the WWF by name, drink twice. If he refers to McMahon or the WWE by name, chug.
If Hogan brings in a new friend of his who will get an undeserved push, drink twice. Chug if the person is really just another incarnation of Ed Leslie.
If a TNA PPV has between four to six gimmick or stipulation matches, drink once. If it has two to four, drink twice? if it has less than two, chug. If a gimmick match takes place in which the stipulations are disregarded at the finish, chug again.
When a beatdown takes place, drink if a wrestler who is not even remotely involved in the storyline comes to make the save. Drink twice if he gets beaten down as well and another unrelated wrestler runs out.
If an ex-WWE wrestler makes a debut in the company, drink. If they don?t return to TNA after their debut, chug.
Take a sip, every time Taz stumbles over his own commentary. I’d say drink, but you’d run out of beer too fast.
If Mike Tenay hypes a match by claiming that this is a match that will go down in history drink, if Tenay claims that because of this match it will be the best iMPACT! ever “chug”
Anytime an X Division wrestler uses a set spot, drink, if they use a finisher and their opponent is back up to their feet less than a minute later, drink twice. If this happens more than once in a match, chug.
If Don West accompanies Amazing Red to the ring, drink, each time he yells ?GO RED GO? drink twice, if he stands up on an object such as a chair, an announce table, etc, chug.
Every time Jeremy Borash posts on Twitter, sip. I do want you to live after all.
THE ROH DRINKING GAME 2010 EDITION
Each time that Mike Hogewood says ?That hurt!?, drink once. If he says ?Slap the Porpoise?, chug.
Each time Dave Prazak’s commentary makes him seem as if he’s about to fall asleep, drink once.
Each time ROH on HDNet features a match with a student instead of an actual talent, drink.
If Tyler Black cuts a promo, drink. If the promo is actually half decent, drink twice.
Each time Ring of Honor refers to pro-wrestling as a sport, chug.
Each time Davey Richards delivers an amazing promo, drink, if the promo is then ruined by Eddie Edwards talking, drink twice, if the promo is attempted to be salvaged by Kyle Durden, chug.
If Rhett Titus comes out and thrusts his pelvis even once, drink once. If he gives a chick in the audience his hotel keycard, drink twice. If the woman is over 130lbs, chug.
Every time a face wins the ROH World Championship, drink. Chug if the fans turn on him and cause him to turn heel.
Each time a Briscoe says ?Man Up? drink. If they try to say it and end up talking over each other, drink twice. If their entire promo is like that, chug. If the promo involves a shotgun or a firearm of any kind, chug again.
If ROH pushes a wrestler based off of their message board, drink once. If they stop the push when the board wants them to be world champion, drink twice. If they make them world champion once every has lost interest, chug.
If the fans want to see a Japanese match take place in ROH, drink. If ROH actually books it, drink twice. If it’s for a Japanese title, chug.
If the crowd starts an ?awkward silence? chant during a lull in a match, drink.
If they start a ?This is awesome? chant or a ?this is wrestling? chant, drink once. If they chant ?please don?t stop? drink twice, if it ends in a ?match of the year chant? drink three times. If all the hype is ruined by a time limit draw, chug.
THE WWE DRINKING GAME 2010 EDITION
If Michael Cole mentions the word vintage in a match, drink once. If it’s more than once per show, drink twice, if it’s more than once in the same match, chug.
If Jerry Lawler makes an inappropriate sexual reference to a WWE Diva, drink once. If he says it while the Diva is sitting next to him on commentary, chug.
Someone gets powerbombed, drink. If the announcers don’t call it a powerbomb, drink again.
One of the announcers states a blatant historical inaccuracy, drink. If it’s anyone other than Matt Stryker, drink again.
Someone gets their head banged into the turnbuckle or gets punched ten times in a row with the crowd counting along, drink. Chug if the head is first banged into the top turnbuckle, then middle, then bottom, or they are punched nine times and then something different is done for the tenth punch.
Drink every time an automobile is vandalized in the back
Drink every time a wrestler joins the announcer’s booth to do color commentary.
Drink every time a rookie from FCW debuts. Chug if he gets a win over an established wrestler.
Drink every time a talented wrestler is buried in the push of some egomaniac.
Take a drink for every blown spot in a Diva’s Match.
Drink when Abraham Washington has his talk show, drink again when Tony Atlas laughs. Chug if Washington actually wrestles.
Drink every time someone is shown in the back WALKING!
For the designated driver: Drink if Edge can hold onto a world title for more than three months.
For every time Chris Jericho mentions the word parasite, drink. If he uses a new word that you can?t begin to comprehend, drink twice. If he uses them within the same sentence, chug.
If a match that allows weapons contain a steel chair, a Singapore cane, or a trash can, drink once. If it contains all three, drink again. If a ladder is pulled out, drink twice. If the match is stopped because someone has to superglue a cut from a hard bust, chug.
If a WWE PPV or edition of Monday Night Raw is sponsored by a product, drink once. If it is sponsored by a product that the WWE owns, drink twice. If it’s sponsored by a product owned by the guest host, chug.
Each time Hornswoggle does a DX chop, drink. If it causes HHH or Shawn Michaels to follow suit, drink twice.
If Michael Cole blows the results of the Wrestlemania main event DURING Wrestlemania, chug an entire bottle and hope of a short term memory lapse.
I?m going to stop there for length purposes. There are a lot more I could add? but I think this should be a good start. Of course, I would be interested in hearing your ideas on expanding the drinking games. I?ll even post them in a future column. The contact information is at the very bottom of the column as always if you wish to add your own. So that’s my disclaimer? the lists are not complete? it’s just a start for you guys to modify.
-One Extra Round: TNA Against All Odds Prediction Results-
I tried to watch as much of the PPV as possibly while trying to bounce from stream to stream. I did see a fair amount of it so I will try and give my thoughts on what I ended up watching. With that being said.. let’s see how I kicked off the new year of predictions!
*8-Card Stud Tournament First Round*
D’Angelo Dinero vs. Desmond Wolfe
PICK: Desmond Wolfe
WINNER: D?Angelo Dinero
Thoughts: This one was a toss up. Nigel had impressed pretty nicely and I thought that he would have gotten the push here, but Pope has had been equally featured so this one could have really gone either way. The match was good as expected.
Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan
WINNER: Matt Morgan
Thoughts: This one surprised me. I know that as a tag team, I felt that Hernandez was the more popular of the two and if TNA really wanted to push him as a legitimate up and comer, this would have been the PPV and the match to do it, but Matt Morgan ended up getting the rub here tonight which was pretty shocking in my eyes.
Kurt Angle vs. Mr. Anderson
PICK: Kurt Angle
WINNER: Mr. Anderson
Thoughts: WOW. This one was called a bracket buster because everyone really expected Kurt Angle to go over. Despite Anderson just debuting, a loss to Kurt Angle wouldn?t have really hurt him all that much and I would have at least thought that Angle would have made it to the Semi-Finals at the very least. This one was a complete surprise to me.
Mick Foley vs. Abyss
Thoughts: I didn?t actually get to see this match because I was stream hopping at the time, but I?m just happy that Abyss won so I could salvage the fact that I was heading for an 0fer tonight.
Dinero/Wolfe Winner vs. Hernandez/Morgan Winner
Thoughts: This one doesn?t matter because neither of my picks advanced to the second round so this one here is just an automatic loss.
Angle/Anderson Winner vs. Foley/Abyss Winner
PICK: Kurt Angle
WINNER: Mr. Anderson
Thoughts: Only reason why I put this one up in a little more detail is because Abyss did advance in the tournament and he was a pick of mine, but in the end, Mr. Anderson got the win an set up Dinero versus Anderson in the finals
Dinero/Wolfe/Hernandez/Morgan Winner vs. Angle/Anderson/Foley/Abyss Winner
Thoughts: Neither of my picks made it to the end. I honestly thought that Angle would have won it to have another Angle/Styles match since Hogan came out and complimented them for setting the bar on the 1/4 impact show. I believe that it would have been a foreshadow for one more match between them and a way around Angle’s ?last chance? match at Genesis.
The Nasty Boys (Brian Knobbs and Jerry Sags) vs. Team 3D (Brother Ray and Brother Devon)
PICK: Team 3D
WINNERS: The Nasty Boyz
Thoughts: I?m just going to recite something from the TNA drinking game: If Hogan brings in a new friend of his who will get an undeserved push, drink twice. You guys need to take two drinks right about now.
AJ Styles (w/Ric Flair) vs. Samoa Joe
Guest Referee: Eric Bischoff
PICK: AJ Styles
WINNER: AJ Styles
Thoughts: Come on? Joe as champion after they set up this major push for a heel AJ Styles? Not even Bischoff and Hogan are THAT stupid. This one was predictable from ten miles away. The match itself was pretty damn good though from what I saw? my stream died half way through so I missed the finish, but I heard it was some run in/interference/slow count crap. Nitro on PPV? You bet!
For your Japanese audio this week, I am just going to give you a name. Eiko Shimamiya. If the name sounds familiar from past Culture Shock segments, you might recall it as the person who does the opening themes to the Higurashi no Naku Koro ni anime as well as the live action films of the same name. I decided to look up her catalog of music on YouTube and it is equally, if not, even more impressive than her work for the shows. There’s even a nice serene song she sings, in English, by the way, called Castle of Sand. I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend that one along with Verge, Automaton, Wheel of Fortune? hell.. pick any?you can?t really lose.
I then did some research on other Japanese artists and they recommended to me that if I like EIKO, then I would like KOTOKO. I checked her out and her music isn?t really my cup of tea. She focuses a lot on techno and I really have to have a certain genre of techno in order to get into it.. and her style really wasn?t what I would listen to in a dedicated fashion, but, she did have two songs that were really well sung, produced, and all around great listens. Check out Hane and Abyss. Also, if you want a smirky moment, check for an English translation of the lyrics to Abyss? women will shrill in disgust over them while most men will worship them.
Third band that you guys should check out is FictionJunction. Yes, that is not a typo that you are so accustomed to in my columns because I never learn to type them earlier than 2AM. It is all one word and like EIKO, you can?t go wrong. They have a nice Japanese Goth Rock with a mix of instrumentation going for them. Everything I heard by them is pretty much just win. Toki no Mouko, Mabaroshi no Sora should be your first song, then check out Parallel Hearts, Akatsuki (no.. nothing to do with Naruto), and Honoh no Tobira. All excellent.
My anime of the week: Baka to Test to Shokanjuu (Idiots, Tests, and Summoned Beings). This is THE comedy anime of the season. It pains me very much that it’s only 13 episodes, but if you want random, off the wall humor coupled with chibi battles that resemble a Squaresoft RPG (Yes.. SQUARESOFT. TO HELL WITH SQUARE-ENIX!)? then this is the anime for you!
Speaking of video games? March is going to be one hell of a month for gaming. Final Fantasy XIII FINALLY (pun intended) launches. This title has been in development for at least the past four years and after delay after delay after delay, the game will finally see the light of day on a retail shelf. I know that Squaresoft will always delay a game for details and polish. This game should be epic.
Another game launching next month, most of you may not care about, but it’s the world to me? and that is Mega Man 10. It has 3 release dates, actually. March 1st for the Nintendo Wii, March 11th for the Playstation 3, and March 31st for the Xbox 360. It will cost you 1000 Wii Points, $9.99, 800 Xbox Live Points respectively. It will ONLY be available for download on their respective internet services so if you?re looking for classic 2-D 8-bit Robot blasting action with everyone’s favorite Blue Bomber, do NOT pass this up.
Another title that’s actually out that you should all take a gander at is an RPG by Level 5 called White Knight Chronicles. Originally SHIROKISHI in Japan and later White Knight Story, this game is only available on Playstation 3 and boasts some of the most amazing graphics and one of the most interesting combat systems I?ve seen. Basically all creatures and battles are in real time? no break away screens like traditional RPG games. You go into your menu screen and set up chain combos with your character based on skills and abilities that you learn as you level up. Your character will then fight on its own, using attacks that you programmed in. It sounds like it takes control away from the player, but it really doesn?t and is something that you have to experience to fully appreciate.
-The Final Shot-
That’s going to do it for me this week. If you would like to submit anything as far as column feedback, wrestling discussion, culture shock topics, anything? you can do so by using any of the methods below.
Until next week?