Double topic time. First, reviewing last week’s Impact, and then, picks for Summerslam.
In the last chapter of my column, I sat here and criticized the passion and prominence of the opinions of the members of the Wrestleview.com chat room, saying everbody was way too damn negative.
Well, here’s where my mouth gets stuffed by my own size 17, because I am livid pissed about the episode that was supposed to be a television show coming off a pay per view.
Let’s do this scientifically. Let’s put out the good, and the bad. I’ll try and do this in as chronological order as I can.
The BAD: Don West is “promoted” to merchandise, just like that, and without a storyline, without a reason, and without any sort of continuity, Taz takes the job of color commentator. Last night, he was Samoa Joe’s ringside enforcer (if you go by the actual date of the tapings), and the next night, he’s out of the loop completely, and wearing a headset.
The GOOD: Don’t get me wrong, I love Taz as a commentator, and I think he’ll succeed. Hearing him try to remove his WWE habits, (calling Brother Ray “Bubba”) was fun and awkward at the same time, but I know because this guy could work with a schlub like Michael Cole, talking about Taz, to be able to work with Tenay is definitely feasible. Tenay has more knowledge of the game, and even though he may be more of a homer than Cole ever was, if that’s possible, I think the tandem will work out in the long run.
The BAD: The Mafia come out with all the gold, which is ludicrous based on what had transpired the previous night, but we’re beating a dead horse here.
The GOOD: Matt Morgan comes down with an axe handle (an axe handle?) and proceeds to threaten everyone in the Mafia about an ass whopping, and nobody wants a piece of the Blue print.
The WORSE: It seemed like Morgan had an ear piece in his ear that told him, OK, now its time to change your tune. Because from where I sit, the only clean way out of that segment was for Morgan to clean house of the Mafia, and that’s that. But on an absolute dime, Morgan changes his tune, accepts the tables match main event, and everything is back to being hunkie and dorie. Hello? What happened here? Did someone put some fairmone dust in the air or something? PLEASE, you cannot tell me that wasn’t awkward.
The PATHETIC: Two new champions sit in the ring with the Mafia at the start of the show, and don’t get second one to say anything about their victories. It truly has become Total Non Stop Angle. I can’t believe that Joe and Nash are happy that they won gold, and got nothing in return the next night at the television tapings.
The VERY GOOD: The Match between the Brits and Beer Money was classic. Rough, insane, intense, hardcore, you name it. It was fun as hell to watch, and I am becoming more and more of a Beer Money, and for that matter, British Invasion fan as time progresses.
The WEIRD: What brought this edict of TNA giving officials more power to ban escorts from ringside?? I would’ve thought in a company like this, they would’ve had that power from the start. Isn’t that just seem a little redundant to you and me from where I am sitting?? I don’t know, but to see Hebner throw the Brits out was definitely something for the scrap book.
The STUPID: I am HATING the Beauitful People. HATING them. This whole thing is old, stale, lame, and deplorable. The wrestlers are obviously talented to be able to stick with the same schtick for as long as they have, but this whole thing has got to change, and change now.
The IDIOTIC: ODB and Cody Deaner clashing over the Knockouts title is just really stupid. The match where she won it was lame, and this storyline is lame. There are too many good wrestlers who can do the job in the ring in the knockouts division to devalue the title with this ridiculous line of thinking.
The BAD: The Love vs. Rayne match just proves there’s strength in numbers. Nothing more. Unless Rayne gets some help, she’s doomed to be a tackling dummy for Sky and Love for the forseeable future.
The FUNNY, but DUMB: Has TNA forcibly reduced the Guns to being comedic jackasses? Maybe their scthick is funny, but isn’t it time for them to be serious tag team title contenders, instead of after thought jokes? It’s really kind of pathetic that they get more respect in Japan with New Japan than they do with their home company. I didn’t think the skit was funny, but I know people will think so, so I won’t rip it too bad.
The GOOD, yet BAD at the same time: Homicide vs. Samoa Joe is always gold. But, when its booked correctly, and both men are given the chance to shine. Obviously on television, that’s not the case. Homicide losing the belt so quickly after he won it is a joke, as I would’ve expected ‘Cide to feud with World Elite for a while as the champion, but hey, good things don’t happen in TNA. Joe’s rep is not in tact, because if he was this true Nation of Violence, he’d killed Homicide, and Homicide did give him a run for his money, even in the restrictions of television. Either which way, the X title is still an after thought in the company, and it can never be more emphasized by my next piece.
The ????: First TNA is skeptical about creating another belt for the singles competitors before the Legends belt is introduceed. Now, it’s going to be a belt for the women in tag team wrestling?? I don’t mind tag team wrestling in any sense of the word, and most of the TNA women can wrestle very well, and are television presentable, but is this really necessary? Hemme & Tara, Saeed & Kong, Wilde & Sarita, and Traci & Sharmell??? Why is Sharmell wrestling?? Why is Saeed taking two characters up on the roster? Is the knockout division truly big enough to handle a singles and a tag team title?
The pitifully LAME: Tara’s comment, “WWE would never have dreamt of doing something like this. We’re making history here.” Um, last I checked, WWE has two singles titles for the women now. And believe me, its one too many.
The decent: The four way match with the knockouts was definitely worth the price of admission. As much flack as Sarita got before signing with TNA, she continues to impress me. Taylor Wilde is a staunch talent, Traci is still with a lot of talent, even after a long layoff from the ring, and Kong is just Kong, not much can be said here. Hemme’s look is much better now, as she’s got rid of the rocker chick look, and she seems to be 100%. It’ll be very interesting to see how she pairs off with Tara. They do have some history in WWE.
Elijah Burke, oops, D’Angelo Dinero, was cool in WWE, and I suspect he’ll be fine in TNA. I’m not so sure I like the use of the nickname, “the POPE”, but hey, we’ll see. As I’ll mention later, TNA seems to change nicknames on the fly. No real bad comment here. It was entertaining to see him and Creed go at it. I’m curious to see how Suicide vs. Dinero match up in the near future. I would’ve thought TNA would have dropped Suicide in favor of his true identity, but I guess not.
Morgan’s promo with Lauren was funny. Gotta give the big man props on that one. Not too bad for the kid. Yeah, I called a 7 footer a kid. I’m tough, eh? Not.
AJ Styles says goodbye to professional wrestling. I can’t do this part now. Let me finish with this one, and go through the rest of the show before hand.
Hernandez’s interview which turned in to a stare down with Eric Young shows just how damn good Eric Young truly is. He can do Eugene, and he can do Rock. It’s that simple. He pujt it down in black and white in front of Hernandez, and I loved the line that, “You believe the same thing as we do, because if you didn’t, you’d crack my head in already.” It was fun to watch. I look forward to seeing Young continue to evolve in to a top flight competitor, and I hope Hernandez does get a shot to run with the title. Who knows?
Here comes the “God of Thunder”, oops, “the Boss” Bobby Lashley. What does TNA do, change nicknames on the fly each week?? And if Lashley is the Boss, who’s he the boss of?? And let me ask you something. Sure, Lashley is setting a precedent by competing in MMA as well as pro wrestling at the same time, but think about this for a second. Is it really necessary for the TNA president to appear on next week’s show to explain “Lashley’s role” in the company?? What makes Bobby Lashley so important that the TNA President is making her television debut. You have a man at the top of your company that is on the precipice of a cliff nobody should be looking over, and you’re going to come on television to talk about a guy who’s newsworthy, but not the reason why you should be coming to Orlando. It’s just pathetic to think that TNA is focusing on so much other than the main issues that they need to address within their talent rosters.
By all accounts, it appears “The Boss” and “The Godfather” have an issue, and we’ll probably see Angle vs. Lashley for the TNA title in the not too distant future. Question will be, what will that do to the top prize in TNA Wrestling, when their soon to be potential champion is in an eight sided octagon getting his head handed to him by someone twice his size in mixed martial arts? Something to ponder, but if you don’t think Angle and Lashley aren’t going to cross paths when the “Boss” finally gets physical in Orlando, well, then, I wanna know what you’re smokin’.
Tell me what the logic is behind the main event other than to drive a further wedge between Morgan and Angle. It’s beginning to look like Roode vs. Eric Young all over again. When will this ever die?? When? It’s so ridiculous that every week, Angle manages to screw Morgan every which way but loose, and there’s no payback. It makes zero sense, and it leaves a sour taste in this person’s mouth. The match was fun, don’t get me wrong, and I am interested to see how they keep the flow from this match going in to next week.
Now, I gotta talk about AJ Styles.
Which incoherent jackass decided this brilliant idea?? AJ Styles, a guy IN HIS PRIME, is gonna leave, say good bye to pro wrestling because he lost two best friends, and his work is affecting his personal life. I gotta admit, the work affecting personal life stuff did hit me below the belt, as I have dealt with that on many an occasion. But, let’s be honest here. This weakens AJ Styles to the ultimate. Perhaps this is the beginning of a repackaging of AJ Styles? I heard rumours that this was the primer to begin Sting’s eventual retirement angle set to culminate at Bound For Glory. I don’t really give a damn what this is, because from where I sit, it was the most offensive piece of horse shit I have seen on TNA television in months. MONTHS.
Sting is a WRESTLER. When he gets on a soapbox and starts preaching to the choir, he is not someone to be respected, he is someone to be avoided. His views, maybe knowledgable, are so pathetically old school, it’s impossible to listen to. AJ Styles is the chosen one? Is he really?? Then tell me something, Sting. Why is he not fighting for the TNA world title against Kurt Angle? Why is he not fighting for the TNA tag team titles? Why is he not fighting Samoa Joe, someone who betrayed him, for the X title? Why is fighting 2 out of 3 series matches just to get in to a title match main event for a fucking pay per view?!?!? THE MAN IS THE FIRST EVER GRAND SLAM CHAMPION IN TOTAL NON STOP ACTION WRESTLING. The MAN HAS BEEN THERE FROM DAY ONE, AND HAS TURNED HIMSELF IN TO A HOUSE HOLD NAME. When you think about TNA Wrestling, you think about two names, if you’re a knowledgable wrestling fan. Jeff Jarrett & AJ Styles. Jarrett founded the company, and Styles has been the one to benefit the absolute most from it for seven years.
I gotta hear your responses to this, because I became enraged watching this segment. I have pieces I need to put in my blog from my previous piece on the PFA violator world champion, but this one makes me even madder, because it’s in the realm of the business, and not out there in real life.
AJ Styles is TNA, and TNA is AJ Styles. To do this type of angle, you had damn well better have a major finale, because I can guarantee you there are more people than not who feel the same way that I do about this. I guarantee it.
OK, that’s it for now on TNA.
Let’s pick Summerslam.
Kane vs. The Great Khali
Why has this match managed to make it to a Wrestlemania, and now a Summerslam? It’s not a good feud. This build up is better with the actions involving Singh, but we all know Khali’s limitations make his matches so bowling shoe ugly that its nearly impossible to watch. Kane wins here because frankly, Kane needs the win more than Khali to further boost his monster like status back to the levels it once was.
MVP vs. Jack Swagger
I don’t see the potential in Swagger. I don’t see it. I see a green kid who is still trying to find his niche in the WWE. I think he was moved to Raw way too early. But, unfortunately for MVP, someone else in the company sees a niche for Swagger, and that’s costing MVP this match.
WINNER: Jack Swagger
D-Generation X vs. Legacy
I am so much more looking forward to this reincarnation of DX taking on Legacy than when they returned to take on the Spirit Squad. Legacy made this personal last week, and I suspect H and HBK will take it to Legacy hard core. Question here is, will Orton interfere, or will this begin the slow turn of DiBiase to a face, and leave Orton high and dry for the forseeable future. DiBiase has a movie coming, and the face turn is iminent I think, and this may be the beginning seed. I could see it. Can’t you?
WINNERS: D- Generation X
WWE Unified Tag Team Championships
Chris Jericho & The Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme
I’m almost wondering if Edge has the time table to get back in time whether or not Jerishow will keep the belts until Edge is back, to provide the ultimate form of revenge. I would like to see Cryme Tyme win the belts, but I don’t see any way that either Shad or JTG can stop the Show. Retain the titles here.
WINNERS: Chris Jericho & The Big Show
BTW, Show, bring back the old look. You’re stealing from CW Anderson, and frankly, it makes you look like you’re 800 pounds!
WWE Intercontinental Championship
Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler
This is take two for the brash Ziggler. I think it may be the winning take. Something tells me that WWE wants to see Ziggler run with some gold in Vince’s desperate attempt to build new characters. Ziggler wins the title, and let’s see how it plays out from here.
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler
Christian vs. William Regal
I like seeing Regal get a shot here, but this needs to be under Extreme Rules. That way, the true violence can shine. I think the Brit has a chance to be ECW champion, but not just yet. Christian slithers his way to a win, perhaps with help from Dreamer, since Kozlov and Jackson won’t be too far behind to help Regal get this one done. I don’t see it happening, yet.
John Cena vs. Randy Orton
I had thought that Cena was off shooting a movie some place, and that opportunities like this would not come up. But, that is obviously not the case, as it appears, and it has come up, and I think this may be the straw that breaks Orton’s back. Something tells me DiBiase may play a role in this match in Orton’s demise, and Cena wins the belt. It’s been an awfully long time since the Champ was here, and I think this may be the perfect venue to bring him back. Cena wins the belt.
WINNER: John Cena
World Heavyweight Championship – TLC Match
Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk
It’s time for Jeff to either leave or stay. It’s confirmed he’s leaving. Matt twitters he’s staying. Enough already. Either leave or stay. This waffling crap has got to stop, because its maddening. Punk has the experience to make this competitive as hell, and I suspect Punk will win the belt, and force Hardy out on his head, and on to a stretcher, and out of the WWE.
WINNER: CM Punk