Yes, as Bruce Buffer says…
IT’S TIME! Oh, it’s time to bring you another amazing episode of WWE Main Event on ion Television!
Michael Cole and the Miz are in the ring to welcome us to the show and rundown tonight’s main event:
– Randy Orton vs. The Big Show
“Giants are mighty men of devastation” – Genesis 6:45
This quote from the bible opens up the video package highlighting the Big Show’s career. Big Show says that he is “fat and fed up…not an entertainer…and a giant.”
Josh Mathews is backstage with the Big Show, inquiring about his mindset going into his match with Randy Orton. Big Show indicates that his fist has jaw-rocking power. That’s right…Big Show can rock jaws. HARD. He’s going to make sure that tonight’s victory is one hundred percent legit.
We go back to Miz, lamenting about Big Show’s KO Punch. Michael Cole introduces the next video package, highlighting Randy Orton.
“People tell me that I am ruthless, heartless…call me what you will…I am Randy Orton.” We take a look at Randy’s life and career. Yes…Batista was in this video package. Orton says he’s motivated as a father, husband and superstar.
Matt Striker is backstage with Orton. Orton says he’s not making excuses and that he’ll see Del Rio down the road. He also warns Show that he’s not a fan of losing, and that while “lightning doesn’t strike twice…but a viper does.”
It’s time for our first of two matches.
“The Apex Predator” Randy Orton v. “The World’s Largest Athlete” Big Show
Orton goes right after Show with strikes. Show counters and sets up for the pancake chop, but Orton clocks him, sending him to the corner for the 10 punch. Orton goes to attack, but Show throws him a gut punch, followed by the pancake chop. Show drops Orton, hits an elbow drop for a one count. Orton begins fighting back, only to fall victim to the wall that is Big Show’s shoulder. Orton retreats, followed by Show. Randy gets his chest chopped again, and Show picks him up to lawn dart him into the ring post, only for Orton to escape, knocking Show down. Orton rolls back into the ring as we go to commercial.
We come back to Main Event, with Orton getting stepped on…literally. By the way…Sheamus is here. Thanks Cole.
Show’s playing Tom and Jerry with Orton, and Orton takes advantage. Orton attempts to bounce off the ropes, but Show catches him in a bearhug, working on the injured ribs. Orton struggles for a bit to escape, but Show smacks him with a right hook. Orton finally creates separation, and tosses Show over the ropes as we go to commercial break.
Orton says: “you like chops? I like chops too, son.”
We come back with Orton being VINTAGE Randy Orton, with the Garvin Stomps. Orton shoots the half, and Big Show kicks out with authority. Show steps on Orton again, using the corner as leverage. Orton gets his ribs palmed like a basketball. Orton fights back with some punches to create some separation, shoots off the ropes slowly and gets a side slam for his troubles. Show gets the cover, and Randy gets the meter into the kick out zone at 2. Show claws him again, and Orton rises after a while, tries the Irish Whip, but gets clotheslined for his efforts. Orton seems like he’s in trouble as Show charges, but Orton jumps like a BAHWS and hits him with a BEAUTIFUL dropkick. Orton struggles to cover. Orton escapes to the outside, trips Show into the steps, and sets up the Viper DDT from the third rope! Orton finally hooks the leg, and gets a two count. Orton begins to brood, and the crowd goes NUTS. Orton waits for it…and BANG! RKO! Orton hits the RKO, but Show managed to get out of the way. Orton follows him to hit another one, but Show counters and pushes him to the side of the ring. Orton gets into the ring and Show drops an elbow on the small of his back. He locks Orton in the Colossal Clutch, but doesn’t keep it locked, only to drop three more elbows. Show locks in the clutch again. Orton almost makes it out, but Show gave him the meanest looking Chokeslam that has ever been seen. Big Show wins this match.
Winner: Big Show
Final Move: Chokeslam
Matt Striker comes out to interview Show, but Show grabs the microphone and declares that Sheamus is going to get knocked out in two weeks.
The referees and the trainers are checking on Randy Orton in the ring. It’s Story Time with Sheamus on the other end of this commercial break!
Josh Mathews is backstage with World’s Champion, Sheamus. Sheamus says that the Big Show will be the biggest fight of his life, and that if he gets the W, it’ll be all kinds of sweet.
Kofi Kingston v. Michael McGillicutty
We come back. Kofi hits McGillicutty with a monkey flip, and gets a one count pin. McGillicutty takes advantage of Kofi, but Kofi fights back, and hits McGillicutty with a hurricanrana. Kofi hits a few clotheslines, and sets up the Boom Drop. Kofi misses the Trouble in Paradise, and hits the SOS for the three count win.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
Final Move: SOS
The Miz goes into the ring and interviews Kofi. Kofi says the match was fun. The Miz berates Kofi for saying that the match is fun, making mention of how Kofi’s attitude devalues everything in the ring. Miz also says that Kofi will never be at the Miz’s level. Kofi questions Miz’s line of thought, and Kofi throws some veiled threats his way. Kofi challenges Miz to a match next Wednesday on Main Event. Miz accepts, and Kofi throws in the caveat of having the IC title on the line. The Miz laughs, and Kofi tries to play the Miz, calling him a sup-par IC Champion. The Miz finally accepts the caveat, and it’s on like a pot of neckbones!
Miz tries to hit Kofi, but Kofi ducks, and hits the Trouble in Paradise, and postures with the Intercontinental Championship as we close out the show.
Next Week on WWE Main Event:
Kofi Kingston Challenges Mike “The Miz” Mizanin for the Intercontinental Championship!
– Last week Thursday was my sister’s 19th Birthday. Happy Birthday, Tenise!
– ‘Nuff said.
– The idea of bridging Raw and SmackDown is a wonderful idea. I still love the idea of using the video packages to introduce these Superstars to new audiences, as well as refreshing people’s minds.
– Michael Cole and the Miz are a wonderful tag team in terms of commentary. Miz has gotten completely comfortable, and it is showing in his interaction with Cole in spades.
– Orton performed well. He made everything that Big Show did matter, and when he did get his hope spots in, the crowd was well involved.
– Kofi vs. McGillicutty was essentially a Kofi showcase, and a way to set up next week’s Intercontinental Championship match. Nothing of any real worth.
– Story Time with Sheamus is all well and good, and had Main Event not been a show, this connection from the events of Raw would have been well lost on the fans this coming Friday Night.
– That aside, putting Big Show over as a monster is working wonders for this upcoming match. Let’s see what they do this Friday.
– Windows 8 is in fact the OS that I am using currently.
Well, that’s it for tonight’s episode of WWE Main Event on ion Television. I would like to thank one of my Twitter followers and fellow Stanford Army foxhole buddy Solace Winter (@SolaceWinter) for the time stamps on the matches.
You can also follow me (@ClintonBowmanWV) to leave your thoughts about WWE Main Event, talk wrestling, video games and how Tim Tebow is NOT a Quarterback.
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Have any questions? I’ll answer any questions about this week’s episode on next week’s recap. Just send them to email@example.com!
Anyways…I’m off to watch The Mindy Project and Key and Peele. Tonight’s my TV night. Peace!